Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Calm After the Storm

First my condolences to all of the Katrina victims and to those who are forced to live elsewhere while the clean-up begins. As I have not been able to follow the news lately, thank you CJ and Gracie for getting me updated.

Here is a link to Yahoo's collection of Katrina news stories.

This is a link to Network For Good which links up the major relief organizations such as United Way.

A link to a Metroblogger who's giving updates to the flooding situation in New Orleans.


To switch gears like a pro here how about some poker stuff? There was another fun night at the micro limit O8 games as Princess Maigrey graced me and Easycure with her presence. Felicia attempted to play limit and PL with us and had to leave our game since the two games are very different.

I agree.

One is about having the best hand and extracting the maximum from your opponents (limit), the other is about representing a hand, pushing people off their hands, and building a pot for profit should you hit your hand (pot limit). I know I tend to get overly aggressive in a limit if I'm playing NL or PL at the same time and cost myself several bets chasing draws that could be dead. Such as a flush draw when the board pairs on the flop. I made the mistake last night of drawing to a second best twice on the $100NL table and it cost me. I was looking at the size of the opponent's stack rather then his obvious "I've got a better hand then you" bets. Its only $XX.XX to call, why not take a shot.

Bad attitude.

Bad poker.

This is a major leak in my cash game. Tournaments I'm all business whether its a $1 or $50 for the buy-in and I fight for every chip I can get my piano players fingers on. In cash games I sometimes let my mind wonder when the relative size of the bet compared to my stack is small, rather then assess the situation (pot odds, are my draws receiving the right price, position, how many drinks I'm in for the night). Its NOT the total stakes, its the bet size in relation to the table (a $1 bet at a $100 table is much different then a $1 bet at a $.01/$.02 table). Granted I'll play a little looser at the micro tables but that's for a different reason, loosen the table up, and shift back to nut peddling and get paid off with second best hands calling you down. Its an experiment in LAG poker (necessary for this self-proclaimed rock), so far I do see merits in playing a Loose-Aggressive Game as you DO present a manaic persona to even the densest (neato new word?) low limit player would recognize. Even someone who is just trying read his hand will take notice to someone 4-betting/potting the flop everytime.

The trick is getting away from hands with little potential once you're called. Kind of like overplaying AK in Hold Em' after the flop when nothing hits. Size up the board and ask, is he/she drawing, do they have a pocket pair that they'll clutch on to like a Prada purse? will a scare card and another bet on the turn take it down? And the biggest question for a LAG pushing a non-hand... does my opponent possess the ability to fold? This goes to BadBlood's recent post about Level 0 thinking. If you're going to get called down while holding JACK HIGH (cue Elix Powers) by someone on a King high pair draw, then checking it down to lose the minimum is NOT negative EV.

You get to show your busted straight/flush draw, the attempt to take the pot with jack high AND you gain valuable information about an opponent. Not only do you gain the likely hood of reading "he bluffed before and I had to call/raise" in the chat box (or in the conversation if you're lucky enough to play live poker) when you nail that nut flush, you save the bets that would have been wasted in a feeble attempt to trick a brick. Don't let your ego get in the way. Much like sitting in a deer stand waiting for that one shot in eight hours to shoot Bambi or Thumper, have the patience to wait out your opponent.

I'm probably spewing out some idioticy in my words above, but I'm trying to speak of my struggles I've had in trying to break out of the "break-even" player mold. If it helps someone struggling to find their game great! If it hurts then you didn't hear it here.


I watched a little bit of the WSOP on ESPN as I was just coming home from softball and caught Michael Gracz (sp?) calling an all-in after the flop with Ace high to beat King high on a paired board after calling an initial raise. Scary good? Or dumb luck? The kid didn't get that far in major tournaments over the past 7 months by being an idiot. Maybe a touch of luck, but you need that to win. One thing Norman Chad did get right... he was entertaining to watch and a breath of fresh air for not doing cartwheels and taunts after snapping off the bluff. A causal handshake and a nod. Nicely done man, it would be a pleasure to lose chips to you if I ever get the roll to play at the WSOP.

And the attempt at conversation by the old asian guy and Gracz felt like raking fingernails across a chalkboard or an embarrassing part of a movie. Note to ESPN: let the players be themselves, forcing an introvert to chat with someone 1/2 his age is about as entertaining as reading a blog entry by a poker player whining about getting wrong end of the variance stick in tournaments.

Thanks for dropping by, now go here to check out how much you rock at tournament poker at PokerStars. Plug in your favorite blogger/player and let the smack talk begin. Who's the better player me or this guy? Dear god, whatta tourney machine Gigabet is. What's up with him playing the $2 tourneys though? Love for the game?

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Tournament Tilt

I got this joke via email this morning and the "trained professional" represents the average tournament player I've been losing my money to. Or maybe I'm the trained professional and just can't get my head out of my ass to realize it.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage
area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told
the lady attendant there that my bags never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she
was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

For the life of me, I can't seem to cash in my lottery err.... poker tournament tickets.

Coin flip? Still 0 for the last 6 months. Maybe variance is saving them up for me to make a run in the WSOP Main Event in 2127.

3:1 favorite? Start begging the screen to have mercy on my tortured soul.

5:1 favorite? Two-outer is coming, better hide the cat and anything else that can be thrown.

15:1 favorite? I re-did the extra bedroom to mimic a psych ward's "quiet room".

Why do I keep playing in this damn things? Little risk for a big reward. The pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow next to the leprechaun that will grant you three wishes. And maybe gives you a cool marshmallow that changes color in milk!

Yes, I'm whining. Just like I would be estatically recapping how I crushed the competition by skillfully avoiding all coin flips and only winning on big favorites and suckouts if I'd finally won something. I can't help but be envious about hearing friends winning and placing high in tournaments. I'm very happy for their success and which probably proves since I haven't shared that degree of success that I'm doing something wrong.

Or I just suck.

I'm leaning towards suck.

Just swear off tourneys? Wouldn't be that hard to since I really don't have the time to play 3-4 hours during the week. Plus, I could save myself a few blood pressure points and useless whining after yet another high pocket pair falls to Ace-rag. Any tournament players out there besides Joanne and PokerNerd who have churning out cash after cash, experienced the dry spell longer then a 40 year old virgin (movie reviews anyone)? Please let me know I'm not alone. Or at least tell me how I need to cash out everything and take my ball and go home because if I haven't gotten it by now, I'm never going to get it. That would be your cue Felicia :)

Forgive me dear reader or two, this is a bitch session and I'm having very serious thoughts about going back to mindless bonus grinding for two reasons:

1) Profitablity, I made money every month I was bonus whoring regardless of some red ink on PokerTracker. With the WPBT event in December I need some cash for the trip, and even more for the side prop bets that are sure to pop up.

2) Ego, I have one and after 5 months of shitty tournament results and break-even cash game results (except NLO8) its pretty clear I can't play these profitably. I should have seen at least a couple of final tables by now, maybe even a win.

It takes a lot for me to give up on something, and I can read and study all the books in the world but when you get your money in as the favorite over and over and over yet still lose, its taxing to someone with my patience. Stop laughing. :)

I don't know what I've done to anger the gods, but I'm beginning to feel like Sisyphus and the boulder is tournament poker.

I push the rock uphill with knowledge gained through books, playing, and fellow players. Yet, it continues to fall back down through various means. I should have seen some improvement by now, right?

Do I need some kind of ancient Greek ceremony in the backyard and sacrifice a pack of KEM cards while dancing around with a PartyPoker shirt on?

I'm babbling here, and I know it, but I had to get it out before I plunge back into donating money to a tournament pool.

Thanks Easycure and THG for tilting with me on the Stars O8 tables. Pair draws in Omaha are gold!!!

Wax on, wax off, breathe in, breathe out, must use whole body to punch HE-YEA! Yes, Mr. Miyagi, I hit like a girl, maybe I'll have Ali (with an I) show me how to take down Johnny and his Corba-kai underlings.

I think I need to lay off the allergy medicine or watch some good porn.

That's a enough "writing" for one day.

Thanks for dropping by, now go check out Pauly's latest adventure as he finished much higher then I in last night's MTT on Noble despite taking a wicked beat. I foresee a big cash for him soon.

Monday, August 29, 2005

I Like To Gamble.... Why Do I Choose Poker?

Is it true that gamblers like to play poker, but poker players don't like to gamble? True, poker players are always shooting for an edge on the particular game of their choice. Whether that edge is game selection, pushing an +EV hand, or spotting the weak player at the table.

But, do we gamble?

Sure, we'll make bets on "tinny" tasting water and slurping condiments in a cup. But, we do it because we think we have an edge (or because Al got us to drink too much again). And that's why so many degenerate (smart?) gamblers have chosen poker as the place to spend their hardly earned gambling stash.

No other casino card game offers such skillful +EV plays as poker. I suppose you could make an arguement for gin rummy, pinochle, or euchre but unless you're willing to grind out that penny a point work rate at the local American Legion hall, poker will have to do.

Are we gambling yet?

Fold, fold, fold, post blinds, fold, fold, do a dial-a-shot, fold, fold, fold, read 15 million offers by online casinos to make a deposit, fold, fold, find porn, put game on hold for 10 seconds... fold, fold.

Not very exciting?

Where does the "gamblers rush" come in? Its all in the build up to that +EV chance that lands squarely in your lap. No, you're not waiting for AA23 double suited in Omaha 8 or better, or A2345 in razz, or a pat wheel in 2-7 triple draw. That +EV play can come in the form of a limp bet by a weak player and you're sensing weakness to pounce all over that bet like a motorist getting off the interstate to get gas when the price drops five cents a gallon. Its the sizing up your opponents to guess what they have. Its the arguements after the hand is completed about how so-and-so played the hand.

Poker brings the human element into the game, and that's the beauty of it.

You can't go into a slot machine and rearrange the reels to force a winning combination. But in poker you can check-raise a player off his top pair top kicker which beats your busted straight draw.

You can't triple your bet once you're dealt an ace and a face in blackjack. But in poker you can raise while looking at quads.

You can't move your bet to the tie in baccarat after the dealer deals out an extra card for two natural nines. But in poker you can value bet hitting the nut flush on the river because the other players "just wanted to keep you honest".

I played some video poker last night and hit a pat quad 9s on a 50 play machine. I also hit a nut low/nut flush in Omaha 8 or better earlier in the day. Both paid about the same amount of money.

Guess which one got my blood pumping more? If you guessed the video poker machine... go here.


Minnesota State Fair by the numbers:

1 - Non-miltary people wearing berets (in Minnesota?)

4 - Midway games played

4 - Prizes taken home from said midway games (I rock at Roll-a-Ball and made the little kids cry from losing)

12,721 - Calories consumed, this is an estimate due to 10,000 of those calories probably came from the cheese curds

29 - People older then me wearing Motley Crue t-shirts... I thought this was rather odd until I saw who was performing at the grandstand that night. Duh.

6.2 - Miles walked between the lovely 4-H buildings to the tractors and combines yard in sandals. Great choice in footwear idiot!

10 - People playing lifesize foosball, if Little Drizz wasn't with, I would have shown off my foosball skillz

21 - Bags of junk collected by my pack rat wife who couldn't pass up another free pen from the Mensa society booth

3.2 - Pounds of junk collected by the wife, including 4 chip clips, 7 rubber band bracelets (DAMN YOU LANCE ARMSTRONG!!!), and a booklet about "How Not to Bully"

5 - Cute peel on tattoos that people felt compelled to add to my son's arms

40HHH - Size of bust a woman tried to squeeze into a small Motley Crue t-shirt, I'm guessing she had front row tickets

1 - New organ donor, bless my wife for making a good decision

XXX.XX - # of pounds my wife weighed on the official state Weights and Measurements department scale

2.7 - # of minutes Little Drizz screamed when a piece of candy was taken away from him

.00001 - # of seconds it took for him to calm down after giving in and giving it back to him

5 - # of women seeing wearing lingerie as outerwear, no it wasn't a swimsuit unless they make silk ones that I didn't know about

800+ - # of pounds the biggest pig at the fair weighted

No, I didn't go into the haunted house this time. Gotta wait till Little Drizz is older so we can share that fun together :)


ABC television I have something for you....

That's for switching to "World News Tonight" and breathtaking views of a guy getting rained on after watching the entire Little League Championship game and seeing the US team from Hawaii score three runs in the bottom of the sixth (last inning) to tie it up. Fuckin idiots. May you never get to broadcast another major sporting event or at least let John Madden continue to grind Monday Night Football into the abyss. Even Al Michaels can't overcome his incoherent babbling.

Thanks for dropping by, now check out the latest in hurricane coverage. Yes, I realize its important but couldn't they wait 30 minutes when the storm had not hit yet?

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Let's Go Baby!

Let's go baby, let's go baby, come on
Let's go 'cause we can't hold back no more
There's no way, there's no way
No, no way

- Wang Chung "Let's Go"

Yesterday spent the day people watching while my wife shopped (my new favorite activity besides poker and online porn) and resting up watching "Swingers" with the Vaughn commentary. If I could channel Trent for a second... Baby it was so money. I'll be watching it again this weekend, and hopefully not fall asleep this time from the Nyquil.

My shopping experience led me first to Victoria's Secret, home of all things frilly and overpriced lingerie. While I waited for the wife to pick out a free part of panties from an offer she received in the mail, I had sensory overload. Giggly teens in back "trying out the merchadise" for their friends. Ads for APEX bras "MAXIMUM NIPPLE COVERAGE!!!!". Be-thonged saleswomen showing just a hint of that $150 Victoria Secret bra sneaking past the cold business woman dress, asking me if I needed help. "Yes, ma'am I need a drink and a cold shower if would be so kind". Who the hell needs peep hole porn, just hop down to your cliched mall and stand around in one of these shops all day. Whether or not you wear a trenchcoat is up to you.

Next up was World Poker Store. Jump the shark? This store jumps the ocean. Lit poker table tops. $800 "poker" chairs (which were very comfty by the way). Several varieties of cards, including some Copag's. Several more chip sets and tables available. Poker player bobbleheads and T-shirts, include one autographed by Mr. Rocks and Rings Antonio Esfandiari!! I nearly fainted. In all honesty, the store was pretty cool if you'd like to buy a good home game setup but the Field of Dreams- like memorabilia stuff was a little over the top. Unless there's a market for it that I didn't know about.

Then over to Best Buy where my wife is getting a new cell phone with picture capability. I'll be borrowing this for the WPBT event in Decemeber, instead of lugging around my digital camera :) Her salesperson was actually knowledgable and courteous to her many questions. Then there I was looking by the MP3 players still looking for a TUNER for my iPod and once again I get directed to the transmitters by the high school techno-geek. I know I'm techo-defunct but when I called him on it, he STILL insisted that the transmitter is what I wanted, especially the $150 one. I gave him my best "what'cha talking about Willis" look but his strawberry flavored pixie-sticks and Red Bull high saw right thru it as he continued on with the thousand mile a minute sales spiel. After he finally shut up for a second I offered a polite "thanks, but I'll keep looking". I saw the collectors edition of "Swingers" on for $9.99 and couldn't pass it up.


Trent: You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs...
Sue: ...big fucking teeth, man.
Trent: Yeah... big fuckin' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.

Bunnies beware, Drizz is coming to take your money. Or at least stop donating it so freakin much. While sticking to NL/PLO8 I've moved up in limits to the $200 tables and I believe I'll be staying here awhile. As noted yesterday, the play was pretty much straight forward with the usual one or two people over-valuing their naked A2XX, pocket pairs, and low flushes. And I even called a push monkey's all-in preflop with AKJT double suited yesterday (he had a short-stack) and lost from a runner-runner low flush. Them the breaks, but it felt good NOT to be totally shell shocked about the $$ behind the checks and play decent poker.


I did have a question about a hand that I busted on during the $3 rebuy satellite to the weekend tourney at Stars. I know I made the right decision, the only thing nagging me is could/should I have tried to fold into the seat....

The players in the hand, the big stack at T156K, me at T49K, sb at T55K. 38 people left, 22 seats blinds at 2K/4K, antes can't remember and I'm in 20th position.

Dealt 88, I raise from MP to T10K to try to steal the blinds as most everyone has tighten up and a raise usually takes it down (first mistake here? not pushing?). SB flat calls, big stack after limping calls. Flop is 9 8 2 all diamonds. Sb bets 30K, big stack folds and I have middle set knowing he's got the A of diamonds but probably not the made flush.

My dilemma is I'm risking my whole stack here and next to no chance that he'll fold to a re-raise. With a steal or two, I could get the satellite seat if I folded and leave T39K behind OR I could push and basically post and fold from here on out if I won. Is the risk of losing here worth it? Remember this a satellite, all I need to do is come in 22nd, I'm not shooting for first here. Regular tourney this is a no-brainer, but with it being a Sat, there's the rub.

I'll be out at Canterbury Park tonight, but it looks like no poker and all horse racing since none of my co-workers seem interested in the card room so no attempts at the $4/$8 or $6/$12 game tonight :( Any ponies look good in tonight's races BG?

Thanks for dropping by, now check out WPT's store for your very own Phil H. bobblehead to berate the next time someone sucksout on your hammer.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Taking My Shot

After last night's nut kicking, I'm attempting to right my sails with playing over my usual limits.


No one has accused me of being intelligent in the past so right start now?

So far, a half a stack won, and a little lost on a different table. The numbers are different but the play isn't which I'm little shocked at. I was expecting a lot more tricky play, instead there's just more overly aggressive push monkeys. I understand the mind-set of being aggressive to run over the meek players but it seems most of these players rely on it, rather then stepping off the gas once in a while.

Update: I'm going to book a $80 win after pissing away some profit but taking home enough to enjoy a win :)

Another observation: lots more internet gods/table coaches in chat

I think someone turns the ego-o-meter once the digits on the blinds increase. I know this isn't a fact in the poker blogger realm as the person who plays $30/$60 gives/gets the same respect as someone who plays .01/.02 tables. Its a throw back to my MMORPG gaming days where the size of your dick/boobs were measured by how many realm points/level/drops you acquired. How many times have you seen "OMFG I'LL KICK YOUR ASS HEADS UP LETS PLAY FOR $5,000?!@?!#?!?" in chat after your flush draw, or suckout comes in? That type of chat seems to be more prevailant in the higher levels. I'm considering closing off chat while playing a little higher but as many people know while I railbird I like to chat with people :)

Post is short today due to me being a little under the weather and trying to rest up for a long day of work and a trip to Canterbury with the department right after work.

Note to self: Do not chug as many $1 beers as possible this time

Thanks for dropping by, now go out there and let Hotshot11283 know who's boss on the felt :)

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Drivin' My Life Away

Oooooooh, I'm driving my life away
Lookin' for a better way, for me
Oooooooh, I'm driving my life away
Lookin' for a sunny day

- Eddie Rabbit Drivin My Life Away

I know I'll catch some flak for inserting this song into the heads of some bloggers/readers this morning but TOO BAD! Its stuck in my head since my wife listens to the country station's morning show so I wanted to share the wealth. You can thank me with wet t-shirt contest photos. Send them to: thank you kindly.

Are you "drivin' your life away" if your happy? I have a loving wife, a healthy child, a house, a car, the new 2006 BetUS swimsuit calendar (WOW!), and a job that pays a decent enough wage so I can afford the frozen hash brown patties I enjoy for breakfast in the morning while watching Sportscenter.

Why do I feel like I should be doing something more? Constantly looking for bigger and better things, yet being happy with status quo. No, I do not want to become a super-blogger like Otis, Pauly, or Iggy and get paid/endorsed to blog. Remember there's a reason why I received a single-digit score on my ACT English test.

In between "passing out" and puking at parties that will not be named, we write about a card game that has banded the oddest of people together. A professional player, newscasters, attorneys, IT g33<, computer programmers, accountants, college professors, actress, musicians... all sorts of different walks of life coming together to write about their lives and their struggles with this card game.

My particular struggle is "where I am at?" as I've stated quite a few times recently. Should I be looking for higher stakes games despite a bankroll that's been stagnant for several months now? I win a little, then lose a little, win a stack or two, then lose it the next night. I feel like I'm chasing my own tail despite learning more about the game through excellent book recommendations and of course... playing as often as time will allow. I am not bored with playing, in fact the game becomes more and more interesting with every poker book/blog/forum I read and re-read. But beating the game at the level I am playing at has become the holy grail that I haven't been able to grasp.

Is it game selection? Wrong moves at the wrong limits? Watching too much sybian lesbian porn while playing?

My nagging comes from not wanting to become that community TV broadcaster who's been doing the sports segment for the past 12+ years and hasn't "moved up". I watched him during a Sportscenter commerical outlining the high school sports that have just started their fall practices and remember getting interviewed by the same guy after my tryout with the Pittsburgh Pirates a long long time ago. He still came across like he enjoyed his line of work and was happy with where he was. Whether or not it was "acting" I'm not sure, but at least he appeared to be happy. Each time I hear him reporting Maple Grove's chances in football this season, I wonder if there was something holding him back from pursuing an major network affillate job. Family? No confidence? Not having movie star good looks like some slick haired, unnamed table manaics?

So why haven't I started to play in the $20+ tourneys and $200NL tables with regularity despite having the bankroll to cover it? The tourneys, I just don't have the time to sit down for a 4-5 hour tourney during the summer. Especially since I'm never home on the weekends and when I do try to play a late night tourney during the week I find myself too tired to function the next morning. As for the cash game... I don't feel comfortable facing a $75 re-raise holding the third nuts on a coordinated board yet. At that level I'm still looking at the money, not the checks. Rather then play scared I play at the $100 level where I'm comfortable (not happy) losing a stack or two while making the play that I feel is correct.

Do I blame a lack of balls or family for my stagnant bankroll? Ego-wise it would be easy to place blame on family obligations, but I believe there's a nagging itch that if I deplete my bankroll while taking a shot at higher stakes then there's no more poker, and probably no more annoying readers of this blog with 80's pop tunes and mildly amusing pop culture quips.

No nads it is.

I just need to man-up if I want to find that sunny day or start accepting that I'm happy and to enjoy where I am like that community channel 12 sportscaster.

Thanks for dropping by, now if you've ever been on the wrong side of a blowout in sports, you can feel for these ladies. Yikes.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

And Good Morning To You Sir!

I'm a little sick this morning so bear with me as I type letters into words onto this page for your viewing pleasure.

Had a decent weekend up north as I finally got some rest in and played a little live poker at Grand Casino Hinckley. Once again I failed at life and lost at the $2/$4 tables. Folding for three straight hours was quite fun as I tried a new technique of returning the cards to the dealer each time she'd deal me 84o or T3s again. The underhanded wrist flick, the overhanded wrist flick, the pointy-finger-making-the-cards-flip-up-and-piss-off-the-guy-looking-for-a-set trick (this one is a crowd pleaser, try it at your next home game!). I was up nearly 10BBs after the first hour when I caught set and turned a boat and got called down. Similar happenings with pockets aces rivering a set to suckout on 93o that called three bets cold pre-flop and turned two pair. Sorry buddy, aces win once in a while, I got lucky and be sure to remind me of this for the next two hours. Thanks!

Then I went card dead.

Cold decked even in Minnesota where we play numbered blocks of ice and ante up different game fish as checks.

As stated previously I folded for almost three hours... most playable hand in this time? ATs. Folded in LP due to being capped pre-flopped for the first time (AA vs. KK vs. T4s). So what did I do to amuse myself besides ogle at the cute, bespeckled drinks chick? Play blind! I figured if I can't win by playing decent starting cards, why not have fun playing blind? 64s? Trip fours are gOOt against Jacks. 69o? Sex-a-liciously overpowering compared to suited big slick. Three hours, two pots, both won playing blind.

I did manage to look down at AJs and tried to get fancy by raising pre-flop and got one caller (same doofus playing T4s capped...). 8 5 2 rainbow, I bet he calls. 6 on the turn completing the rainbow, I bet he calls. River T, I check, he checks and slowrolls the powerful T3s. Of course he starts a discussion of implied odds and how he check raised his grandma off a set during his home game that he crushes with regularity.

Unfortunately I didn't have the patience after three hours of getting cold decked to wait him out but playing live for an extended time was AWESOME. The people at the table were interesting and fun to watch:

- The internet/hyper serious guy who'd get pissed when he couldn't get away from that Ace-rag then asked for daddy to reload him because we were a bunch of fish (he went through 3 buy-ins).

- The 85 year old grandma who stayed in any pot with any two and lost graciously

- The old guy who needed a Hubble telescope to see his set of Jacks was good (and chewed on his glasses everytime he had a hand)

- The old ladies/sharks who knew what they were doing and had some stories about playing at the Golden Nugget before the renovation.

For the 7BBs I ended up losing, it was well worth the entertainment. This Thursday at Canterbury though... I'm out to make money or at least not lose the rest of my depleting monopoly money stash I keep around at home.


Happy about the most recent trip to the cabin I came home to read this e-mail vomit from Empire Poker where the motto is: Don't Like Our Rules? Go Fuck Yourself!

Dear Drizztdj,

While approving a cashout request of yours we see that you are cashing out an amount transferred to you by another player on our website via the Inter-Account Transfer feature. Please note that the Inter-Account Transfer feature is a privilege for all Real Money Account Holders who wish to help their friends on the site who go broke, or want to convert Play Money Players to play for Real Money. Using this feature for any purpose other than those mentioned above is not encouraged, so please write back to us with a clarification about the same for us to verify the cashout. We thank you in advance for your cooperation and patience.


Well Dinesh, I'm glad you took the time to copy and paste this regurgitation and send it my way. I had Little Drizz reply since I'm sure his grasp on the English language is about the same as yours.

Dearest DineshTK,

Choo-Choo, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Play, outside outside outside, drink, CHOO-CHOO!! Green GO GO GO GO! Daddy Daddy!! Arf Arf! Nana! Cookie! NOOOOOO SEEP! PLAY! MOVIE! One, Two, Thirteen! TWEET! TWEET!!

Sincerely and forever yours,

Little Drizz

Its my money, I'll do whatever the fuck I want with it OK? It wasn't thousands of dollars, it was a transfer favor for an up-and-coming player who needed some cash on Stars. I don't feel I need to justify a reason why I don't want to play on a Party-skin at this particular moment.


Who the hell woke up the Twinkies? Granted they're still way behind, but at least they're hitting more then pop ups. I'll go back into non-watching exile now.


Thanks for dropping by, now if you ever wanted a Scotch-Egg-On-A-Stick you can find it with ease! Yes, every Minnesotan goes to the state fair despite it being the same tractors, same 800 pound pig, and same artery clogging food every year. I will be attending on Friday, just look for the tall white guy toting around a kid with a bucket on his head. See ya at the Fair!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Poker Among Friends

Is there any other way to play this game besides the company of friends or at least rivals? Looking back through the months of solitary grinding out bonus after bonus and playing 4-6 games at once I realized something...

I never stopped to try to learn how to play.

Sure, I read "Winning Low Stakes Poker" by Lee Jones and knew a little bit about pot odds, position, and ABC poker. I was a break-even player, which now that I think about it, bankroll wise is better then the losing player I am currently :)

I called too much, didn't value bet enough, got distracted by shiny objects and offers of picking up random women on the BangBus. Whatever it was I was keeping my head above water just enough to clear bonuses for a profit. As stated many times in many different poker blogs, bonus whoring is a GREAT way to get that base bankroll so you can play/learn with little risk of ruin. But, then with a flush bankroll you go back and try concentrating on one or two games, taking notes of your opponents, start putting them on ranges of hands, and well... start to learn to play poker.

And you lose.


"How could he call my all-in on the river with just ACE HIGH!@!?#!@?#" (sorry G-Rob had to do it, but it was a good bet).

Worm (G-Rob talking to Otis mayhaps???): Why do you think your moves are so grand and noble and I'm always the idiot piece of shit!

- Rounders

Yes, its a Rounders quote, put away your torches and pitchforks. Jez.

I'm still trying to turn that corner from ABC poker playing robot to tight-aggressive, value betting poker stud. And lately everytime I try to turn the corner I run right into a dead end corner. Much like the time I was at the Minnesota State Fair (starting next week for all you cheese curds and fried oreo lovers out there) and we checked out the haunted house for the first time. I was probably 19 or 20 at the time of my first visit to the haunted house at the fair. Accompanying me was my family and I believe Burnsie and E were there as well. Its an old three story house built right on the fairgrounds with white trim, smoke machines, scary noise CD being repeated, KDWB playing New Kids on the Block across the street in an oversized boom box and a graveyard out front. We paid our $2.00 admission and all of us started to walk on the broken cobblestone walkway into the "fog".

As we entered the house and the light from the outside ceased to exist I immediately had a sense of dread overcome me. No, it wasn't the teenager dressed in ratty clothes with a hand coming out of his stomach bellowing ARRRUGGGHHH! It was the fear of being trapped. Suddenly, I couldn't see ANYTHING (my night-vision rivals Stevie Wonder's), and when I tried to reach out for a walkway I felt nothing but plywood barriers. Not fun. I could hear voices of other groups coming in and walking by but couldn't see nor judge where they were coming from. I didn't want to yell out like a scared little kid, but that's what I was, frozen by the fear that I'd gone the wrong way and now I was trapped in some part of the house that I shouldn't have been in. "How the fuck did I get myself in this mess??" and a better question "how do I get out??". In what felt like an hour, I was heading towards a full blown panic attack but a slap from either Burnsie or E quickly snapped me out of my state. "Get up and follow me you dork".

Dork indeed.

Led out quickly like a toddler who was being scolded for throwing his food, I finally saw the bright sunshine creasing thru the half opened exit door. A mock cheering section consisting my family and friends was standing outside of the wrought iron fence, celebrating like I just finished my first color by the numbers page and stayed within the lines. Luckily I have grown up to be very humble and gave them a gracious bow for my performance as Scared Guy #4 in Minnesota's version of The Amityville Horror.

Lesson to be learned? Don't go into haunted houses without friends, especially if your night vision sucks.

Or... as it could relate to poker. If you're going into a game blind, always accept the help of your friends. Next time the game won't seem as scary. Hell, you might even enjoy playing and make a little profit!

Thanks to the many poker bloggers who have been guiding me through the haunted house over the past 4-5 months. Take a bow guys, I'm finally beginning to to see the sunshine again.

Thanks for dropping by, now check out the listing for all your cheese needs at the Great Minnesota Get Together. 83 artery clogging sites of dairy goodness!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


Shhhh... please don't tell variance I won again last night. She may get upset after using me as her favorite whipping boy for the past five months. I was able to put in a nice two hour session last night while wearing my lucky softball jersey and new Absolute Poker PJs that will not be washed until such time that variance decides to bring back the pain.

The night definitely did not start off on the right side of the whip as a one-outer hit for someone else in a three-way all in pot while playing PLO. Not O8. But I didn't figure that out until after an hour of playing I kept wondering why the pots were not being split. Twice I pushed "nut lows" and won the pot before showdown. Maybe I should start playing rolled up kings in Razz like a wheel draw.

When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people. Seneca (3 B.C. - 65 A.D.)

My night was not without other mistakes. Calling an UTG all-in pre-flop late in a three table SnG at Stars with JJ. Villian having 16BBs (4th out of 7 left), I figured he would have a mid pocket pair or a strong ace and was looking to take down the blinds and antes (anyone else have the same read?). Luckily for me he flipped over KK, but I had him covered and recovered to take 2nd. Even managed to drop the hammer in the final three which made my night and caught some praise from the rail .


Last night also marked the start of bowling season with a meeting of the captains. Yes, your favorite "sport" in which consuming beer and wings is part of the pre-game routine. Instead of having another triscuits and cheese dinner, I feasted on some breaded Caribbean Jerk wings with ranch last night at the bowling meeting. Yum.

One observation while at the meeting: people take this "sport" too seriously. In what should been a time to greet people you've been playing with for several years turned a debate fit for CNN's Crossfire.

The usually jovial and semi-drunk group had issue after issue about when to start, handicaps, lane conditions, and whether or not Laura should be allowed to wear those skin tight shirts anymore without a bra.

When it bounces and its not attached to your chest, time to cover it up. Thanks.


After returning home and playing a little more poker, it seemed to be a blogger party on Yahoo as G-Vegas woke up from their afternoon bong hits and 'shine shots to discuss some little party soon to be commencing. I will use my space of the internet to whine about not attending this little porch light shindig while curled up with a pint of Chunky Monkey, watching Circle of Friends over and over. Maybe after I shock the world and manage to cash in next year's WSOP I'll observe first-hand drunkiness that is Bradoween. Or just go to watch Otis fall.

Thanks for dropping by, now go here to check out JoeSpeaker's second favorite website. Who knew they sang more then one song?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Can't Live Without Your Love And Affection

Why is there a picture of the Nelson brothers here? Because they're pretty I guess, I dunno.

Just be happy G.W.A.R. wasn't playing first on my iPod this morning. I'm sure these two blondes are easier on the eyes.

Lets see, can we tie the Nelson brothers into something to do with poker? Probably. I'm pretty sure nowadays you could effectively tie some tree bark/pot odds analogy if you were a crafty wordsmith unlike this crabby suburban dad.

I'll leave the arbor-like analogies for another day and possibly when I'm not working off three hours sleep. No thanks to a trio of bloggers staying up late to fight off some fishes in a Limit O8 tourney. Chad, Bobby Bracelet, and Joanne were deep into a Stars tournament when I got home from softball and since I'm a much better cheerleader then player I decided to railbird for a bit since they couldn't play too long...

... two hours later and $20 missing from my virtual wallet due to a possible boneheaded call at a $200 NLO8 table (hand history and question later!) there was two bloggers still standing for 1st place money (Bobby was busy salvating over some damn good travel bargains to be bothered with cards and was knocked out early). Joanne clung for dear life going all-in several times and winning but was knocked out when she ran a flush into a flopped full house on the last four tables. Despite several whiny pleas to hit the sack, Chad was doing quite well and I figured him for the final table after a nice scoop when someone over played his low draw and Chad's AA23 double suited was overkill when the board showed no low. But double slick on a low board whiped out his sizable stack and left him tap dancing on the bubble. Out 29th with 27 paying when someone called his all-in with junk (probably uncomfirmed because knocking off a blogger is unattractive and morally repugnant).

Now for that hand history question for the NL/PLO8 experts there on the internet. Yes I'm talking to all three of you. My hand AcQc2d8h, 4 limpers, both blinds complete with blinds at $1/$2 and I'm on the button. This is my first hand and I have my starting stack of $200. The flop comes out 5h 9c 10c, blinds check, UTG+1 pushes all in for ~$43 and limpers fold to me. With the blinds behind still to act (they both have me covered), and my read is to put him on a set of Tens or Nines, do I have the drawing odds to call this? I have the nut flush draw, gutshot straight and backdoor nut low draws.

I missed like a Twinkie trying to hit a Barry Zito curveball, and he even filled up to add insult to injury. Omaha is all about the draws, and I'd feel more comfortable about pushing with mega-draws if I knew it was "correct" to do so. My T-Rex size brain doesn't always compute the right numbers and I tend to go by what feels right. Yes, step right up Drizz's Fortune Tellings is here to predict your sex life and hole cards.


Theory of Poker and Harrington No. 1 arrived from Amazon today which gives me cabin reading material for the next month or so. Unfortunately my Playboy Hawaiian Tropic, Strip Poker, and Midget MILF-hunter DVDs are still in transit. The Shana Hiatt video for, um, journalistic research on the recently departed WPT beauty icon. Yeah, I almost believed that myself.

Thanks for dropping by, now here's a WTF quote from FHM magazine. Mark Nuckols on his human flesh subsitute HuFu... when asked "Will Jeffery Dahmer be used in your ad campaign?" his reply "No, we want to be associated more with fun cannibalism, not scary cannibalism". Well that's a relief, maybe FUN cannibalism will become the new fad like wearing those yellow rubber bands from Lance Armstrong.

"Dude you gonna finish that toe nail?"

Monday, August 15, 2005


I am in a burnt, twisted, sore, coughing, achy-breaky-heart condition this morning. First weekend home in over two months and you'd think there would be some relaxation in order.

If playing softball for 12 hours over two days is relaxing to you, put the beer down and get off the bench. Actually I would have prefered the pine riding during game #9 of the weekend. Yesterday was a firm reminder that I am gaining some years on the newer players, especially since I was the only player on the bench who had a nine in the years on his letterman jacket. Class of '93 baby! 32 teams started the tourney, only two were still playing at five o'clock on Sunday afternoon. Unlike the Twinkies, we actually scored more then 5 runs this weekend and took 2nd in the tourney.

Entire Twins team for the weekend: 15 hits. Drizz: 17 hits in 19 at bats on Sunday. Where's my contract Gardy? I'll work for free shuttles to Canterbury and bar tabs at Buffalo Wild Wings. I know I said I wouldn't mention the Twins again, but c'mon START HITTING PLEASE! If I pitched for this team I know I'd be getting on the hitter's cases.

Before I showed off my all-world softball skillz (sarcasm is dripping like grease from hot McDonald's fries here people) the weekend started with a pleasant drive to Duluth, MN to spend the day with Little Drizz's favorite blue steam engine Thomas the Tank Engine! Yes, there were too many screaming kids, and it was crowded, but I was amazed by how much fun we had. With the long drive and walking around all day I figured some tantrums were in order but we enjoyed some pics with Sir Topham Hatt, playing with two tables worth of railcars, and roaming within various working trains. My only beef about the whole thing was spending $16 a person on this 20 minute train ride (which I thought was supposed to be an hour long). There was no story-telling (as advertised), and the conductor's guide of the railways and Duluth scenery was more suited to an adult's taste. The rest of the activities were free...

After the train ride we hopped down to Canal Park to view the vastness that is Lake Superior. Did you know that... if Lake Superior were ever emptied it would take until 2147 for it to fill back up? Good bar room NTN trivia answer there. A sizable bacon cheeseburger with a $4 pitcher of Kamis at Grandma's spelled lights out for this trooper. I passed out in the car ride home much to the dismay of the loving wife. I mentioned Little Drizz was sleeping too, but I might as well been arguing with T.O. about being a team player.

After getting home and playing softball on Saturday, we played well enough to receive an afternoon game on Sunday. Time for some poker! Lessons learned... do not play NLHE, LHE, Limit O8, and SoKo while in a chat room. But, things turned out fairly pleasant in ADHD-ville. Cashed in the Limit O8 tourney finishing 27th out of 900+ along with the hottest blogger north of International Falls (who was still playing after I meekly went to bed). LHE still isn't my friend, its not even a disliked cousin. I was down to $25 of my $100 buy-in when my favorite hand (99 off-suit) snapped off the hilton sisters and sent them back to SoHo without any breakfast after I was done with them and finished the night down only 6BBs. I know I made some bone-headed plays but something about limit I'm just not "getting". Its like having to go to the bathroom first thing in the morning, you know you have to, but don't feel like getting out of bed. Maybe some experts that are killing the games have some hints I could steal for profit. Had another decent session of NLHE featuring more and more plays off opponent's betting patterns rather then playing off my cards. I snapped off someone's river flush draw bluff with JJ on a board of Q 7 3 Q 3 to make the entire night profitable.

This is Little Drizz taunting the bluffer after the hand:

Thanks for dropping by, now drop by Bob's mirror site now selling Jebus figurines!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

You Want Do To What?

Its 8pm on a Wednesday night, you're looking forward to working tomorrow since you know you'll be up late playing poker tonight. And the phone rings...

Its your mother-in-law asking to talk to her daughter. I hand the call off to the drill sergeant... er wife, who informs me we will be commencing some PT in the yard at 2010 hours. Objective is to move the mountain of logs that was recently split into nice neat stacks of firewood. I began to protest the logic of doing yard work at 8:00 o'clock at night when we have all weekend to do this after my softball games.

(pic from

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You little scumbag! I got your name, I got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers, I will teach you! Now get up off your face! Pvt. Joker you better unfuck yourself before I unscrew your head and shit down your neck!

- Full Metal Jacket

I guess I'll never understand why the hell everything needs to be done now now now! The wood isn't going to rot in 3 days. We're not building anything in that area for a couple of months, if not till next year. Why the fuck would you pick 8pm at night, while the mosquitoes are in full blood sucking frenzy to do a useless yard project? Is there some kind of PMS thing in the air that I'm unaware of?

Ranting complete, marital points firmly stuffed into boxer shorts. Let's move on to fun stuff like playing poker!

I'm still on an PLO8 tear. Why I didn't play this game more often in the past is beyond me. The players are easier to peg then in any other game. You can tell after one or two orbits, who's nut peddling (better yet, who actually knows what the nuts are), who's the idiot overplaying their pocket pair, and who's there to gambOOOOOOOOOl. I managed to swipe a few pots last night and mix up my game a little bit by raising pre-flop a few times.

This is something I'm experimenting with since it is my belief that Omaha is strictly a post-flop game, rather then pre-flop since any four cards are no more/less then a 60-40 favorite/dog to any other hand.

In other words, why raise if you know you're flipping a coin (this applies to cash game strategy only)?

Granted if you do raise pre-flop AND hit the flop hard you can maximize your winnings. The problem with O8 is that its a split game. The flop usually determines whether your playing for the high, the low, or the holy grail of split games: the scoop. For low limit PLO8, to me, it makes no sense to risk a pot size raise pre-flop with position just to scoop up the limpers for a probable coin flip. The risk isn't worth the reward. True you shouldn't look at the size of what a big bet is and think it of the money as betting units, but it wouldn't be prudent to be blind to the fact that scooping up 6 SBs pre-flop in a $10/$20 game is a different then the micro limits that I roam around at. One scoop is a steak dinner at Jax's the other is a McChicken sandwich and you'll still need some couch change for the extra value fries and coke.

Yes, we play for the challenge. Yes, we shouldn't look at the checks as cash. But be realistic, bets at different levels mean different things. That's why teachings in books like SSHE and Bob Ciaffone's Middle Limit books are different. Its a different game at different limits which makes discussing/arguing the merit of pre-flop raising in PLO8 difficult since not everyone plays at the same limits.

I'll step off my soapbox now and crawl back to my bunk for some rack time (no, she's already sleeping, and I don't think waking her up is a smart move).

My own results last night were promising as I played 4 whole hands after an hour beyond the flop at a Bad Beat Jackpot table at Party for a 2BB profit at the $2/$4 tables while working off the new reload bonus (hot damn I love run-on sentences!). Its nice that the two hands I won, AA held up, even vs. 5 people who cold-called 2 bets. Aces win every once in a while I've heard. Someone's KK got jumped by a Lake Street crackhead (Minneapolis reference there yo...) who called 3 bets cold then managed to run down his flopped set with a runner runner Ten high flush holding T5o. God bless limit players.

As for micro limit PLO8 with Felicia it was uneventful but educational again as I tried mixing it up, between the nut peddling (yes they will call your wheel down, without a straight or better themselves) and the aggressive pre-flop and post-flop continuation pot-size bets (yes they will call down your bluffs if there's ANY chance at getting a low). My donations to other PLO8 players will have to wait till I get back from Duluth this weekend.

I apologize to the unfortunate people who listened to my incoherant conversation killing rambling last night. I promise to rightfully intoxicated after softball on Saturday for some late night fun.

Thanks for dropping by, now check out the above linked bloggers. I guarantee you won't be sorry. Except for Chad, I accept no responsiblity for entering his Keystone Light drinking thoughts.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Technical Difficulties

Due to circumstances beyond our control, today's Little Drizz pic post has been delayed once again. Please enjoy our alternate (and short) programming today.

At least I turned on the computer last night to start uploading the pics at home but sleep overtook me swifty and harshly (or the cold medicine kicked my ass). I'm currently battling a cold given to me by about 10 other people who found it funny to cough/sneeze/blow in my direction over the past few days. The loving wife said instead of staying home and getting better and I would be better off going to work to stay active. Yes, I could have called her bluff since SHE couldn't stay home, I wasn't going to. Nice logic hon. Sigh. So off to work I go!

I fell asleep and awoke several times during ESPN's run and re-run WSOP poker-fest last night. Why do they push the current new episode to nine o'clock and replay the past episodes during "prime time"? I certainly don't mind rewatching Lindgren, Jesus, and Jennifer Harman but the wife gets irked if there's reruns on. I wonder if people who are not full fanatics of poker feel the same way. Jean-Robert as a cheerleader? Interesting. He didn't seem like the friend/compatriot type... unless of course he had a piece of Lisandro and was merely cheering on a potential big payday.


Twins Baseball. Last comments of the year about this "team".

I've seen less solemn faces at a well-liked grandfather's funeral. There's no spunk, no life, no extra effort, no confidence, no fun. What made the Twins such a good team in the past 3-4 years was the cohesiveness of the squad. It wasn't talent, they don't have superstars (good players yes, but no Cooperstown candidates) on their team. But the daily jokes, the laughter, the funny daily quips I would read in the local Star Tribune are all gone. Blame it on injuries or tougher competition if you want to, but the real reason this team tanked late in the season is because the internal epoxy resin that carried them to three straight Central Division titles, turned into water and the team fell apart. Plain and simple, put a fork in em' they're done. Yes, you may pick out the flavor of Schell beer now MrSpeaker (delivery in October though :D )

How about dem Vikes? Dante can feed his family now with a well deserved raise. The defense is starting to shape up into a powerhouse (I'll predict right now they will be in the top 5 in total defense this year, and no I have not ingested any illict drugs this morning). A new owner who takes a more personal approach, and doesn't sell used cars. I'm figuring a 10-6 or 11-5 regular season record. Too high of expectations you say? There's probably a little fanboism in there, but what's not to like about this squad?

Defense? Check, for the first time since the Purple People Eaters days (one eyed, one horn, flyin' purple people eaters whoo whoo!).

Offense? Always there.

Offensive Line? Duh.

Special Teams? Eh, the choice of kickers isn't exactly English Premiere League talent but hopefully there won't be a need to lean heavily on which ever kicker wins the starting job.

The only "hole" is all-world WR Moss going off to the team that fits his personality. Minnesota nice just wasn't for Randy, and I wish him the best of luck with the silver and black. No sarcasm.

Thanks for dropping by, now here's an article I found disturbing while reading the DAoC boards this morning. I don't know which was more sad, playing 50 hours straight, or quiting his job to play games, or a 28 year old still living with his mother to play games?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Forgive me if I'm a little tipsy posting today. No, I didn't bring a flask of Jag to work, but not a horrible idea. Working off 4 hours of sleep reminds me of those delightful first months of Little Drizz's existence. I was all ready for a pic post for his 2nd birthday party, but I forgot the important part of a pic post.

The pics.

Yeah, I struggled making my wife's jelly sandwich and mixing some peach tea this morning too, so something as intellectually straining as copying a URL to blogger might cause my head to explode. So today you get the short version of everything. Kinda like the Vespa/Lonestar wedding part in Spaceballs.

Do you?


Do you?


Good your married!

Speaking of Spaceballs, I saw Daphne Zungia nekkid in a movie with Tom Berenger while drifting in and out of consciousness on Saturday night. Yowza! Makes me want to seek out some Melrose Place reruns immediately.

Softball ran a bit long last night since I busy fending off all the sport bar waitresses/groupies after the game while they chased me with wings, pitchers of beer, and frilly Fredrick's of Hollywood outfits while admiring the long balls I hit last night.

Wha? That didn't happen? Oh.

We did wrap up the softball season last night however, which means I'll need to find another way to get some exercise and keep the mini-keg from blowing out to a full 16 gallon container over the fall/winter. Bowling starts in three weeks? At least my right arm will stay strong for next softball season. I'll have to work out the left arm while on the computer...

with the free weight I keep under the desk...

not in my pants.

Sick people, all of you! Go say three hail marys and take two SoCo shots to absolve your perverse sins and stop watching Skin-a-max till the sun comes up.

Bobby Bracelet and Joanne kept me up for a few hours last night after getting home from softball, dragging me kicking and screaming into a rebuy tourney on Noble. I still hate the software but the games are so soft it makes up for the clunky control bars and how hard is it to mash the fold button for two hours? The bloggers got together to discuss free phone sex, Brad-o-ween, and Bob's not-so-micropenis. Time flies when you're having fun.

To Joanne: I request one or two pics of the flannel, thank you in advance :P

My tournament play was uneventful as I only hit two big hands:

- 32o flopped a straight got one push monkey to fall for the slow play as he over/underplayed AK by limping in and I completed in the SB with 5 others in the hand (POT ODDS BABY, EXPERT POKER PLAY AT WORK!!).
- Nailed quad aces awhile later that got a round of applause from the table. Once again my expert poker play, extracting maximum value because you never know when you'll have to lay down Aces.

AJo was my doing in 14 people short of the money, as the table luckbox won a race with 88 and flopping a set. If he had Ax, I had a chance but we know my history with coin flips from all the whinning I type out here.

End whine.

PartyPoker bonus grinding featured a pure high-stakes cockjob last night.

As taken from the chat: "I won 16 grand this weekend"

"the buy-in is equal to a big blind in my game, so the money doesn't matter"

"I'll play heads-up with anyone here for $500"

"I like sheep"

Yeah, ok buddy thanks for dropping by, I like your money in my pocket. What compels high stakes people to do this (for his credit he was playing $2000NL at the time)? Don't they have something better to do then to try and impress the WPT fanbois and guys posing as women at the micro $25NL tables? He pushed all-in preflop 75% of the time, raised 100% of the time if he played the hand. I managed to shave one buy-in off him with AQo vs. his A3o, not a great CALL with AQ pre-flop but I felt the play was +EV due to his pushing with most likely any ace and any two sOOted and me closing out the betting.

Anyone else have a strategy to extract dollars against a total manaic? Sit and wait? Throw out bets when I have position? Appeal to his ego, in hopes of more stupid plays by him?

Because later on I dumped AQ while in the BB when he pushed but had four people behind me who limped in. ABC poker I know, but I'm wondering if the call here had the same +EV with all those potential callers behind me, none of them being "tricky" with limp-reraise type plays.

Poker discussion is welcome here by one and all.

Thanks for dropping by, now go check out the Northern Lights that we saw on Friday night. If you've never had the pleasure of viewing them, its truly a remarkable sight.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Looking At Yourself

No, not in the "oh my god I need to lose 15 pounds!" sense. Or admiring your two and half times confirmed huge junk in the full length mirror.

But, watching other people at the poker table and saying "damn that was me ". I had that feeling during the bachelor party I attended this weekend.

Lack of enthusiasm in that statement? Yeah, well, that's how you could explain the weekend. Don't get me wrong I enjoy any time the guys can get together like old times and play cards and drink until we pass out. But, a bachelor party is about letting loose that one last time before entering a life contract with the opposite sex.

Me, Burnsie, and E drove up a little earlier then the rest of the troops and tried to hit a bar on the way to play a little Golden Tee while the other guys got off work. After three attempts at dive bars, including one Legion hall, no Golden Tee. Hmmmm... where can a person go in the Mille Lacs Lake area to blow off a couple of hours. There's a casino you say? Oh yeah (use super-cool Kool-Aid guy voice here).

Many midnight runs were made to this little casino turned huge resort in high school and college. I tried to hop into a $2/$4 game but the wait limited my play time to around 30 mins. In which I lost $35. Granted the rake would be hard to beat, but people who play live are generally worst then any person that logs on PartyPoker. 92s? Yeah, I put you on that hand sir after 4 people capped the betting, I fuckin rule at this game. Sigh. All sarcasm aside, I had a great time, abeit brief. Any chance to sit down and squeeze real cards and listen to the dealer's recap of his own tournament run the previous night is +EV.

Finally the other five guys in our party called and said they were closing in on our destination and said to meet up at a place called Chico's. Formally a little dive bar that we'd never stopped at before. It was a nice little Mexician restaurant with a dive bar still attached to it. Only in Minnesota could you pull of this hybrid with panache and profitability. Ate a decent meal of chicken strips (I wasn't fuly sold on the "Mexician" part) but E claimed the tacos were of decent quality. Then came the wet twenty.

A rather large woman clothed in a dress fit for an antiques shop window dressing, came up to us after having trouble inserting a twenty dollar bill into the pull tab machine that was right next our corner table. "Do any of you have a twenty" of course being the deaf-mute I didn't hear the initial question as I was submersed in my fileted breaded poultry goodness (with honey mustard sauce). Both of the guys pointed to me since I usually carry my at-home bankroll with me anytime there's a remote chance of playing poker. I gladly assisted the woman with a fresh twenty from my wallet then I touched the saturated bill she handed me with a semi-guilty look on her face. If I recall correctly her words were after seeing the perplexed look on my face were "oh it wasn't me".

I felt sick.

After the guys had a good laugh at my expense, we headed to the Izaty's resort area to start our weekend. These condos are approximately the size of my old duplex with a gorgeous view of Mille Lacs Lake. There were a bag of range balls brought out to getting some unauthorized golfing practice before our round scheduled for the next morning. Hmmm... might not be as tame as I thought. But, that's where the excitement died unfortunately. The remainder of the weekend was fun but just lack the spark that bachelor parties should have.

After golfing Saturday morning and drinking the entire day we headed to the bar which featured a fairly quiet duet strumming a few pop hits. It looked the only people interested were these two hot chicks in clothes that looked like they were painted on. Ok, there was plenty of eye candy that I gave quick glances to, but they weren't sliding down any poles offering a lap dance in exchange for a wet twenty. Two things of note happened after our party sat on the deck area to BS about our college parties and past war stories:

- Best T-Shirt Ever seen on four different fairly attractive females... "Rob's Daughters Fuck Like Champs" on the front "and Party Like Rockstars" on the back. I wanted to meet Rob and his offspring, but like I said, our party pretty much stayed to themselves.

- Another pass made by middle aged woman. I don't get this, do I have some weird quality that makes me attractive to the housewife demographic? Me and E were coming back to the bar from our condo after going on a quick beer run and this group of 5 or 6 women aged around 40-50 walked down the stairs as we were going up to the deck and started looking me and E down. One asked "where are you guys going?", we responded that our friends were upstairs and we were rejoining our party. The representative of the group answered "Why are you going upstairs, the real party is going to be down here" or something to that effect. This could have been a chance to make the weekend interesting I guess, but with several Cap'n Cokes, Jag bombs, and some macro brew in me, I didn't think I could come up with enough conversation for these ladies on a mission. Or maybe I could, but it wasn't my weekend, it was the bachelor's, so we rejoined the guys upstairs in the pool room.

After a spending a couple of hours at the marina bar, we headed back to the condo for cards. Texas Hold Em' only! I dealt the whole weekend because I enjoy it for some reason. Maybe it has to do with the fact that if there were a card club in the metro area I would be working there (that and if I knew I could make the same wages...). But while dealing I saw myself sitting next to me. Not in a LSD trip induced way, but in a sense of how this player would get upset at "suckouts" and exclaim "how can you play like that?!?!?" and "you got lucky you punk bitch" and be serious about it.

Mike: What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? What, in case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?

- Swingers

This is where I finally saw myself six to eight months ago. Sure, that's when I felt like a "bad-ass winning poker player" had a flush bankroll that grew anytime I could turn on the computer. But, I've come to realize that I have MUCH more to learn about this fickle game we play. Some days you're Tiger Woods, other days you're me losing your second sleeve of balls while shanking yet other 5-iron into another group of players leaving yourself to seek comfort in your flask of peppermint schnapps.

I wonder if other players have seen this. Looking across the felt (real or virtual) and seeing a reflection of their past. Sure, once in a while I'll fight the urge to berate that inbred for playing 84 offsuit into my first raise in a half hour. But, now I'm just happy with the "get your money in with the best of it" quote that's burnt into my rum addled brain. Make the right decision, bet the right amounts, get maximum payoff, stop watching Bang Bus, eat your veggies. You know, those type of self-improvements. Damn I'm a comma whore today.

Ok I think I've rambled on enough for today, I had a neato pic post about Little Drizz's birthday party yesterday but I'll leave that for my dear reader or two tomorrow.

Thanks for dropping, now go here to learn about Lindsay Lohan getting her curves back.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Now and Forever

I'll start off this post about a certain someone with my favorite quote:

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.

- Charlotte Bronte

I met my love at as a "date" for my best friend's girlfriend at a hotel Christmas party for his company nine years ago. Confused yet? Ok, I was the girlfriend's date while my buddy brought the sister as his date since they both worked for the same company. It was a casino-theme'd party, and since they were both allowed to bring someone, so instead of just bringing each other... my friend brought his casino loving friend and she brought her sister.

It was not love at first sight.

In true Drizz fashion, I was wearing sneakers (clean!) with my shirt and tie ensemble and I thought I looked like a million bucks. Yeah, nice fashion sense dipshit. The sister was somewhere between bitchy and worn-out, not to mention unapproachable. Any attempts I had to converse with the short blonde with the nice legs were rebuked by glares that reminded me Arnold's "what'cha takin' about Willis". I guess my suaveness wasn't fit for success tonight, so I did what every person should do when romance isn't in the cards. Get drunk and gambOOOOl! The sister went up to the suite and slept while us three threw dice for monopoly money and tipped back mixed spirits. Neither of us took home any of the good prizes, but we did stay up to shoot the shit for the remainder of the night in the hotel's bar. During the conversation my buddy's girlfriend asked me "so what do you think of my sister?". I told her she was very unapproachable (probably not using those PC terms). And she tried to explain about working too much and her asshole boyfriend. But, it went in one ear and out the other because at that point in my life the last thing I needed was a relationship. I was finally coming out of a deep depression and starting to enjoy life again, I couldn't deal with complications.

Go to work, go clubbing/bar hopping, go to the casino, drink too much, rinse and repeat. That was my life for one and half years. I was getting over a break up of someone I just couldn't let go of and that's how I dealt with it.

Fast forward to softball season.

I've never played co-ed softball before, so I was apprehensive about coming out, but Burnsie (the friend mentioned above) insisted I come and play on his girlfriend's team. As we reached the Anoka County FairGrounds (sorry Al, there were no freaks there, the county fair wasn't for another 3 months) I saw the reason why guys play co-ed sports. All these sweaty, bouncy ladies running around in form fitting athletic wear. I managed to stop drooling for two seconds to inquire Burnsie about the female in the maroon biker shorts with the perfect legs.

"You met her already, remember the Home Depot party?"

While taking batting practice, I tried to strike up a conversation with her and this time she spoke with a smile! "What happened to your neck??" Oops. I forgot about the hickey on my neck the size of Gorbachev's birth mark. "Ah, I must have slept on it funny". Smooth Dave, real smooth. But, luckly she ignored teeth marks enough to get to know her a little further, and she dropped the hints about wanting to break up with her boyfriend and moving back home. We chatted about softball and up coming parties at Burnsie's place and she promised to drop by the next party.

Fast forward thru, too many parties, two houses, a couple of shouting matches, several hundred softball games, one birth, and five years after promising to have each other's back and we arrive today.

Karisa Jean Anderson, I love you with all my heart and soul and thank you for overlooking my imperfections and allowing me to be the dork I am. Happy Anniversary hon. Here's to five years of marriage and promises of fifty more years if the Cap'n Cokes don't get to me first.

I don’t wanna live without your love
I don’t wanna face the night alone
I could never make it through my life If I had to make it on my own
I don’t wanna love nobody else, I don’t wanna find somebody new
I don’t wanna live without your love, I just wanna live my life with you.

I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love - Chicago

"Traditional 5th wedding anniversary gifts have a theme of Wood." Oh man, anyone want a shot at a pun here?

Thanks for dropping by, now go here if you can't remember what to get your significant other on your next anniversary.

And please go check out Pauly's newest installment of conversations with strippers, if I'm lucky enough to go to a gentlement's club this weekend I gotta try out one of those lines and maybe get a discount in the VIP room... Talk about marriage and strippers all in one post, I need to go to confession or something.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Working For The Weekend

Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end

Loverboy - "Working For the Weekend"

I'm not looking for romance this weekend... well maybe if we visit a "gentlemen's club" I'll take romance one song at a time then.

Wow, I don't think its possible to pack anything else into this weekend coming up.

Here's the itinerary:

Today - Put together Little Drizz's swing set, have family over for dinner
Thursday - Possible trip to Canterbury to make money for this weekend, if no Canterbury playing MTTs all night online
Friday - Bring Little Drizz in for doctor's appointment OR go golfing with 1/2 of the bachelor's party, then head to Izaty's to stay overnight for the start of Bobby's bachelor's party/weekend
Saturday - Puke and rally, go golfing all day, play poker, possible side trips to casino and/or a gentlemen's club, then more poker at night
Sunday - Carry drunk ass home and put on a happy face for Little Drizz's Thomas the Tank Engine theme'd 2nd birthday party! Hope he likes the swing set.

I had to cancel out on two softball tourneys and celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary in addition to doing all that. Now before you get all judgemental we made plans for next weekend to head to Duluth for a day as a family to go see this. Is it bad that I can name about 15 of the trains by looks? Little Drizz still gets them right more often then I do though.

Is the weekend "relaxing" if you're running from event to event while doing "relaxing" things? It feels like the old family road-trips we'd take while growing up. Ah, memories of driving all day thru the Nevada desert with no air conditioning inside of an overstuffed baby blue Caravan. Not to mention dad's rule about no stopping, for anything, unless we needed gas. But, the places we went to were "fun", like the Motel 8 where the front desk guy left a nice collection of freshly killed flies on the desk to show off his mastery of that fly swatter he won at the county fair last weekend. Yes, Disneyland and the San Diego Zoo were nice as well, but at the time it didn't seem worth it after being in a tight car with two siblings and no game boy, PSP, iPods, etc... to keep from getting on each other's nerves.

-------------------------------- <---- Cool thought break!

With the cleaning done and Mrs. Extreme Homemakeover finishing the bathroom, I turned on the computer to look over some Pokertracker stats and read a bit on 2+2. I wasn't planning on playing any poker last night, but I saw this conference invite from bad ass, purple chip chasing, poker chick Maigrey and sat down to play a little NLO8 at Full Tilt to earn some drawing tickets towards the daily $10K they're giving away (sadly I did not take home the $2K yesterday). When I got into the conference, a certain Michigan blogger who's never lost for fifty cent words, was expressing his displeasure of the play at the NLO8 tables (keep at it you will win at these tables, trust me). When I jumped on, Maigrey was sitting up three buy ins already and was bullying the table with her raises. I just played patiently and after an hour scored 24BBs (we were playing $.05/$.10). A win is a win though, but the table showed some play that outlines the reason why I've switched 95% of my poker playing to O8. 4466 is a big limp-reraise hand, and chasing a runner-runner low for all of your chips is a good strategy. Yeah. Thanks for the chips, I'll be back tomorrow.

Shout out, holla holla to E for fixing up the blogger template yesterday. Much appeciated!! Hope its easier to read (not the actual words I'm throwing up into the cyberspace with my limited Engrish skillz, but you get the picture).

Thanks for dropping by, now go give your cat a hug today. Hmmm, only one game going, must have been tired that day.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Now Isn't That Special?

I guess Gardy didn't hear my pleas yesterday. Two hits for the Twins' ace and reigning Cy Young Award winner, great run support guys!!

And minus $10 out of my pocket. Hell, I'll sign up for the league minimum. I already can show I can crush a softball, hitting a 90 mph slider can't be too much tougher, right?

Heavy sarcasm at use here.

Heavy heart going out to this dying team, its on life support being late in the season and Bret "I Need My Juice Back" Boone wasn't the answer (as foreseen by less rose-colored glasses baseball fans).

Poker last night was a waste of time also. I was tired, I played tired, I tiredly lost all three of the SnGs I entered. Lost to a manaic who hit every conceivable draw known to man and woman and I didn't have the patience to wait him out. Lost to a good player whom I didn't give credit to when he smooth called my bet with TPGK (he had a flopped set) while on the bubble. And didn't have fun playing. Wah wah wah. Plus I was ready to nail a few PLO8 wins with Felicia but I got home too late, hope she's feel better after her most recent round of chemo. Send her a kind word or insult (she likes both) to her if you get the chance.

No poker tonight for this trooper, going to clean the house like a good husband and melt into the couch to watch the "new" WSOP tourney on ESPN. Plus I need a night to go over why I lost last night. I haven't been diligent in diving into PokerTracker and finding those leaks in my game as I should have been while on a losing streak. I won a decent amount last week and would like to continue the up-swing by figuring out the difference between my play now and for the last five months.

Full Tilt (use Bonus Code: Drizz99) is having a neat promotion. They are giving away $10K a day through various drawings. You earn entries based on how many Full Tilt points you acquire each day. The points do not roll over and you receive 100 drawing tickets per point earned. There are 127 winners each day! Hmmmm... the gambOOOler side of me is itching to play now. We'll see if that itch is still there after spending some quality time with Mr. Clean, Lysol, and Norman Chad.

Thanks for dropping by, now go here to catch up with everyone's favorite satan-hater.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Where Have Art Thou Gone Twins?

As I sat down too early this morning and poured myself a crisp bowl of Golden Grahams, I watched SportCenter's bio on a young aspiring pro fisherman. Sure the jury is out as to whether fishing is considered a sport, but this young gentleman's story was so interesting it left my cereal go to mush. Despite being born with no arms (one mid-sized stump) and no legs he was able to bait his own hooks (that's a little closer then I'd ever want to get my mouth to a leech unless I'm on Fear Factor), cast a line, and reel in the fish. No extra gadgets, no prosthetics, no help, just a regular rod and reel much like the ones I manage to get the line tangled up whenever I attempt to catch a few sunnies and walleyes. Amazing.

At the other end of the spectrum we have my beloved Twins. Oh Gardy. What have you done with this team? They play like they just got rivered by a one-outer every night. Shoulders slumped, bats lacking Levitra induced firmness, and pitchers getting whinnier then Phil Helmuth after a bad beat. Maybe you should look west, and see a team that's playing with some spunk and not making circular blames of ineptitude (yes Joe, I'm talking about those wonderful A's, just tell me the address once the playoffs start grrrrrrr). Please bring back the team that I used to watch every night without a second thought of changing the channel. Because watching four hits a night is NOT riveting to view. Its a slow death and needs to be corrected somehow, that's what you're paid for.

Wow, fishing and baseball and not a lick of poker (ok maybe an analogy or two, can't help it). But, as it has been all summer I didn't play much this weekend due to a trip to the cabin. Ah, the sounds of loons, crackling of a late night bonfire, and Little Drizz screaming his head off in the back seat all the way up and back.

As Meat Loaf sang, two out of three ain't bad.

This weekend was quarter casino night at the cabin. The Pathfinder staff spreads out a casino consisting of several blackjack tables, some varient form of craps, a wheel of mis-fortune, a roulette table, and of course live horse racing!! The horse racing was with dice, wooden equine figurines, and people carrying horse a certain amount of spaces equal to three dice being rolled. I attempted to jockey more then once but was told after my first race (which I got startled at the gate and moved only one square) that the job was better handled by humans with tits. I didn't complain, much, they were much more attractive on the oak saddles. With my jockeying career down in flames, E managed to pull off 2 out of 3 wins against the female racing competition and proved that a big rack isn't everything (unless you're playing poker right Maigrey?). I played some blackjack while doing shots of Windsor Canadian with a Newcastle chaser. With the liquid courage and a steady stream of profit thanks to E's perfect blackjack play (or maybe it was because the dealer who was handing out the shots made sure he never started with 17 or more) I managed to piss away the profits at the wheel of misfortune and roulette. But, with a late night rally and the betting limit eased up to a $1.00 per bet (not to mention 2 to 1 odds on black/red, even/odd, and 1 to 18/19 to 36) I walked away with a fist full of silver and a $5.00 profit!

Unfortunately, I got so caught up in the euphoria of winning that I had done 30 hours of drinking in 3 hours. Not gOOt for this lightweight. I can space out my drinks and be fine but slamming shots and not slowing down did not help when the beautiful, clear night started spinning like a tilt-a-whirl ride. I yakked. Thankfully E was there to usher my drunk ass back to the cabin to pass out next to the wife. I must have passed out quietly and didn't attempt any drunkin pokin because she wasn't pissed at me the next morning! Score! We took Little Drizz up to the pool and I was able to soak my alchie head in the cool waters while he threw foam baseballs at me.

After drinking half of Lake Superior yesterday, the drill sarge... I mean loving wife decided we should do some yard work before it got dark after getting home. Great idea hon! Sigh. It wasn't that bad, my headache was sweated away from tearing up the mutilated timbers that outlined the old garden and fire pits and hauling out the old sink and cabinet from the bathroom. Next up is building Little Drizz's swing set for his birthday coming this week (I will not be participating in the "building part", read my 100 Things About the Author list), but I will haul the timbers and play Mr. Mom.

Full schedule this week: Our 5th wedding anniversary, Little Drizz's birthday, and my friend Bobby's bachelor party at Izaty's. Yeah that's what I need, another excuse to drink heavily. At least there will be some good golf, good friends, and most likely me running a poker tournament.
Thanks for dropping by, now go to Mean Gene's Barstoolsports site for this awesome article by another writer on their staff. I laughed hard as this was me four years ago. Thanks Stacie for forwarding this to me ;)