Monday, October 31, 2005


"Hey Brett, any chance you guys could come back and play at the Metrodome a few more times this year so I can keep my job?"

There was a glimmer of hope when the Vikes marched down the field for a quick touchdown starting the 3rd quarter. Of course the lemmings at Fox immediately segue to last week’s come back vs. the Brett Farve’s (the rest of the team doesn’t really matter until he announces he retirement in January).

I knew better.

Brad Johnson 2005 is not Brad Johnson pre-Tampa Bay, and definitely no Daunte (yes, I still have faith in him).

I “watched” the remainder of the game on along with my friend Burnsie with their play by play updates on all the games since I was homebound due to a birthday party being thrown at my place for my wife’s grandmother. Following fantasy football online seemed more exciting then watching Steve Smith make Fred Smoot look like a high school freshman who finally got to second base and is confused about what do to next.

Smoot… a word in private please.

If a receiver you’re jawing out burns you for 200+ yards its time to concentrate more on tackling and less on the yo’ mama jokes. I’m sure you’ll have a better game vs. one of the gimpy Lions receivers next week.

It was an up and down weekend for poker as I moved up to play $1/$2 PLO8 almost entirely. The swings are much bigger and when draws don’t hit, and it cost more to reload.


Unfortunately, I had looked at the $$ in a hand where the odds dictated I call/raise and I folded the winning hand (hindsight is 20/20 of course). But, I have no explanation for this sudden mental block because on a different site I had no problem calling off half my stack on a similar draw.

Anyone else have this happen? Play ultra-tight at UB for no known reason, but switch to Full Tilt and let the chips fly like you’re channeling your inner Layne Flack? I’m not talking about playing tight in a loose game, or playing loose in a tight game. My concern is altering your play just based on the interface or past results of the online card room.

Does winning a stack in a cash game or recent tournament success at one site loosen your play at that site? But if you play somewhere else that you’ve lost two buy-ins recently your play is drastically tighter?

Why should it?

It’s the same random number generator, just a different interface. For those players who play at multiple sites this is definitely something you should be watching and catching yourself on. It could cost you some cash, or another chance to bust a pro grrrrrrrrrrr, I’ll get you next time Ms. Gazes!


Tonight is a Halloween, and Little Drizz has been reminding us to go trickortreat (all one word). He will not be going as a Viking player on the love boat, as him and I did to my sister’s party over the weekend. Tonight he becomes a creature of the night, a vampire! Hopefully he’ll forgive us for the face paint and cute costume when he grows up, as I hate Halloween with a passion for the reason that my parents felt obligated to put make-up on me despite my pleas that I did not enjoy it. Only wrapping a Christmas gift or trying to figure out how licks it takes to get to the center of a Toosie roll pop gives me more fits.

Congrats to G-Rob on his win and Daddy’s bridesmaid finish at the most recent WWdN (in exile) tourney!

Thanks for dropping by, now go give April a big hug. Her Texans broke their win column cherry finally, despite trying to lose so I could make a few bucks on my parlay bets this weekend.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Drizz The Greek's Week 8 NFL Picks

This is "American Fries Delight", found at a local cafe in Crystal, Minnesota called DW's.

If your arteries are suddenly feeling a tad strained just by look at this no-amount-of-Lipitor-would-save-me-after-eating-it breakfast.

Your not alone but damn its soooooooooooo good if you like a hearty breakfast.

Thanks to the State triplets of Florida, Penn, and Michigan hitting my teaser bet yesterday we're freerolling today!!

2 teams parlay bets

Raiders +2, Browns +2 (betting against the Texans is like asking a poker blogger if he/she wants to go to Vegas)

Minn/Car over 44.5, Chi-town/Lions under 32.5 (anyone else think that both teams will end up with single digit scores?)

Redskins +2, Bungles -9.5 (Bungles, Bungles, Bungles!!)

Three team parlay

Bungles -10, Lions -3, Raiders -1.5 (Lions seem to screw over my parlay bets, but I'm a forgiving guy, don't fuck up Harrington!!)

Today in my wife's grandmother's 80th b-day and we're having a little party at our little abode. Any guesses on how long we wait till switch over to the AFC game of the week?

Can Drizz Not Suck?

20th and 25th in the last two $20+$2 180 person SnGs on Stars....

Currently your position is 2nd of 25.

And let us pray....

1:12am - Fine Young Cannibals is driving me crazy and just drilled myself up the ass going heads up with the chip leader nice work Drizz!

1:16am - Your position is please fuck yourself, god I'm going to be ill

1:18am - Steal attempt, was in the lead, lost, I hate myself

1:19am - your position is 22nd out of 24th

1:21am - got the blinds and a limper pushing with KJ

1:23am - folded 66 to a raise, he had aces, still kicking myself for blowing my stack on defending my blinds, why did I need to get aggressive vs. the one person who could dent me?

1:26am - Blinds at 300/600 ante 50 I only have 5BBs left, gotta catch something

1:27am - 54o thanks Mr. Random Number Generator

1:32am - AKo beats Q8s and we're solvent

1:33am - AKo beats A9o and we're giving oral to Mr. Random Number Generator

1:35am - Your position is 14th out of 16, but I have 10BBs now which doesn't suck

1:36am - 84o is good enough to pick off a limper and the blinds on a 9 9 4 flop

1:38am - Presto? Sorry, not interested with two raises in front

1:40am - The new chip leader has a spanish following, muy muy muy annoying

1:42am - AKo you visit me again? Bless you my son, and take the blinds on your way out

1:43am - Limit O8 isn't very fun at Pacific, dry site with a dry game and a dry Drizz doesn't equal profits

1:47am - Run 7s into aces when I raise pre-flop and get called by a shortstack, go Drizz go! So much for staying aggressive. Good play, bad play with 10K at blinds of 600/1200? No wussing out me thinks

1:50am - 44 all in vs A3s annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it HOLDS UP!

1:52am - Dirty Laundry by Don Henley pipes on I think I could use those big slicks right now

1:54am - Your position is 13 out of 13

1:55am - Just 3/4th someone at LO8, its not as exciting in limit to quarter someone, nor as profitable

1:57am - 3rd AA vs. KK on this table in 20 hands ouch someone needs to stock this table with some Astroglide

1:58am - all in AT vs 77.......... say good night gracie in 11th, one of these days I'll learn how to win those coin flips

1:59am - $21.20 profit, should have been more if it wasn't for that colossial brain fart mangling with the blinds with the other big stack, reminder to check with Joanne for some advice on this

1:01am - HA Fall back Spring forward everyone! I'm beat, night night

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Is There Anything Better On a Saturday Morning...

Then playing PLO8 with Daddy?

YouzaViper: drizz, you got another on the way?
Drizztdj: hmmmm would be nice not to wait in the room for 30 mins to be told it will another 30 mins
danger_russ: were 8.5 months along so I don't want to hear about knobs and other things.
Dealer: SHUNK, it's your turn.
You have 15 seconds to act
danger_russ: don't even know what they are anymore
owlB urQueen: lol
Drizztdj: yeah, she's filling out her bras finally
YouzaViper: hey russ, stick a cork in it, dingle.
danger_russ: what can't handle someone else talking
YouzaViper: no.
YouzaViper: shut up.
danger_russ: boo hoo
YouzaViper: shut the hell up.
YouzaViper: knob.
Dealer: Game #2921392181: danger_russ wins pot ($7.65)
danger_russ: will u love me
YouzaViper: do you have any crisco?
YouzaViper: butter flavor crisco and a tub of lard.
Drizztdj: oh no, don't go down this road
danger_russ: lard that is how i thought u like your women
JustinTexas: lol
Drizztdj: or that one
JustinTexas: is that all ya got russ?
YouzaViper: more cushion for the pushin.
Dealer: YouzaViper has a straight, Deuce to Six
Dealer: YouzaViper has 6,5,3,2,A for Lo
JustinTexas: the bigger the waist band the deeper the quicksand.....
Dealer: Game #2921399812: YouzaViper wins Hi pot ($7.40) with a straight, Deuce to SixDealer: Game #2921399812: YouzaViper wins Lo pot ($7.35) with 6,5,3,2,A
YouzaViper: Scoop Doggy Dogg.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Families Moving Forward

Ok, today we’re trying out something revolutionarily differentastical! Typing out a post on Word then… are you holding on to the edge of your seats folks? Cutting and pasting over to Blogger!

I am an e-tard, and don’t claim to be any smarter then your average brick wall. Picking up the memo would have been smart the first or fifteenth time that the internet clocked while saving my post thus sending my pre-school scribble into vaporware. But then again I play poker for a hobby, so I must like punishment.

For those who only come here for poker content, the Houston Astros’ scoreboard from game four of the World Series and my raked hand count from last night are the same. Nice effort guys, three solid all-star/Cooperstown caliber pitchers and you follow-through with an offense that had as much spark as a row of wet fireworks. I think the Twins showed more offensive fortitude against Guillen’s Gang while using a bunch of AAA not-gonna-make-the-playoff scrubs.


Instead of sitting at home with a nice Cap’n Coke after a long day of working and ref’ing, I decided to go help my dad with his project in the projects. I’m suburban white trash to the core. Going to “the city” gets my attention, especially when you’re not used to seeing drug deals out of lowered Caddys on side streets.

Family Moving Forward is a temporary shelter that helps families receive basic necessities in the face of homelessness/unemployment. The building my dad helps out at needed a new fence to block off the eating area from the kitchen, so armed with four tool boxes, fencing, and a rather heavy 4X4 post we made our way to the north Minneapolis building. Those who live in Minnesota know that North Minneapolis along West Broadway's side streets could be described like Pauly’s Redneck Riviera except with snow and decrepit homes instead of apartments. The building looks like a school from the outside but actually was a supermarket that my father was employed at in his younger days before deciding that engineering and elevator repair might pay the bills better then stocking Green Giant canned corn in aisle four.

After unloading the tools, my dad toured me around the place that was emptied due to a detailing crew that was coming through to strip and wax the flooring. A cavernous basement filled with second hand clothing from generous donators and savvy charity collectors who managed to snag the overstock from Carson Pirie Scott (a department store) when they went belly up. Props and costumes from an acting troupe that did not need them anymore were found in several scattered boxes. My dad also showed me the second-hand store that was connected to the building called “Freebies”. When you paid for any piece of merchandise in the store, you got that amount to spend on another item. Not a bad deal for people with small budget and a nice side business to help out the shelter.

After four hours of constructing our white, picket fence it was time to load my dad’s company-owned minivan back up and head back to the protected hills of the suburbs. Even though I got barely any sleep last night, doing a good deed unselfishly was a refreshing break and sparked my interest in helping out again. Maybe next visit I’ll meet some of the people who use the services of this organization to get back on their feet.


Does anyone enjoy going to the doctor’s office?

Raise your hands please.

My wife has been trying to get in to see Dr. Vagina for FOUR WEEKS, for a follow visit to see if her pregnancy is still running on all eight cylinders. I refer to him as Dr. Vagina, because for the last three times we’ve made the trek to his office we’ve received the pleasure of sitting in the waiting room and having the portly multi-colored garbed nurse come out to explain that it will be another (insert amount of time that we can’t wait) after we’ve sitting for 15-20 minutes past the start time.

I did get to read a funny story about how a man who walked up to a pregnant stranger and told her that she must be having a boy since her ass is so fat. Bobby, your story made it in Parents magazine congrats!!

I also learned that Prince William’s love once mooned some boys while in school, shocking. Jude Law apparently likes to nail his nanny and anything else within grabbing distance. And there were some pilots who thought having a bender seven hours prior to flight time seemed like a good idea at the time before they got two and half and four years in jail respectively. But, if it wasn’t for Dr. Vagina’s busy schedule I would have missed out on this learning opportunity. Thank you sir!

Since my wife had a volleyball game to coach and I had a tournament to ref, no Ms. 64-piece-Crayola-box-thrown-up-on-my-shirt, we cannot wait another 15 minutes for her 20-30 minute necessary appointment. That’s why I left work early you twit. With her best “I’m Sorry soooooo Sorry” (bonus points if you remember the commercial) look, we were directed towards the receptionist to make another worthless appointment.

Thanks for dropping by, now please let me know if you’ve had a similar experience while recently visiting the doctor.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Blogger Ate My Post.... again

I had a post about relaxing and enjoying life at whatever level you are at (poker and financially) and all that jazz but Blogger decided to deal me Kings vs. Aces this morning.

Not happy.

I was relaxed this morning, but now I'll just sigh and thank the blogging gods for erasing my post once again.

Maybe tomorrow I'll try to whip it up again when Blogger isn't acting like a toddler that you've told five times to stop using your desk as a big art canvas.

I blog with a steam of unconsciousness and doubt if I can remember half of what I wrote. I know there was Dr. Bruce Banner, mashed potatoes, and playing Pot Limit Omaha involved. You are all creative, just fill in the blanks mad libs style.


Let's see... I'll be ref'ing the final tournament for the 8th grade volleyball team today. So, instead of two or three parents from the opposing schools showing up, there will be entire bleachers filled with pseudo-soccer moms/dads from other schools. Lucky for me that I'm hearing impaired and they're seated behind me. Yes, being handi-capable does have its quirky perks once in a while.

Oh... this is a good time to remind people in Vegas, if my back is turned to you and you start talking to me, just tap me on the shoulder if I don't take the hint that you're expelling some english words for conversation. I'm not being rude, just deaf-dumb-and-blind :)


If you haven't been reading about the Heads Up Challenge between 16 different bloggers, well get with the program people!

Its a great way to play and meet other bloggers before many of us travel to Vegas in December. Think I could mention the December trip a couple of more times? Think I'm anxious to go? Is water wet? Does Al drink SoCo? Can the Houston Astros possibly choke more?

I met my first round match last night on UB. MtDewVirus has been around longer then I, and definitely more successful but I managed to steal some blinds and catch better hands when they counted. I think the two matches I won came down to hitting a higher flush and a straight vs. his two pair. Being a full ring player, shorthanded play makes my balls seek shelter like they're being forced to watch a Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation on Lifetime.

On to the Elite Eight where my next match will be Donkeypuncher or GCox. I'll need a Villanova vs. Georgetown type upset to get me into the next round but if Rollie I can win, I can too!

Unfortunately I did not share the same success in the PLO tournament on Stars with Maigrey, Grob, CJ, and last longest winner on_THG. Ran my top set with a redraw to a flush into a wrap straight draw (yes, I was a favorite) but when the straight hit and no pretty flush cards came I was done.

Thanks for dropping by, here's a cool desktop calendar/clock courtesy of my friends from DAoC

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Me, Myself, and I

I was in a good mood... till I got up.

Its only 6:50am and I've been been rejected by a vending machine (GIMME MY MINUTE MAID CRANBERRY JUICE!!!), had my favorite client (heavy on the sarcasm lever here) leave three messages about the same thing that could be taken care of over an email (but she'll never send one), someone swapped my computer thus deleting all my links to my work functions and it restarts every 10 minutes uploading some inane programs that I don't need, and to top it off Little Drizz fell while dancing around on a toy box giving him a good size bump on the back of his head.

Hi! I'm done bitching about my Murphy's Law morning now.

Long morning after me and BG were defeated in the WPBT Euchre tourney by the All-world and 28th ranked poker blogging player Bobby Bracelet and soon-to-be inducted into the South Carolina Moose Lodge poker hall-of-fame Otis. Against the ropes they battled back valiantly to win in five games. Well played guys, I have no doubt whoever won that game will win the tourney. I smell a prop bet in there...


While growing up my mother introduced me to bowling. There have been several lanes that I fine tuned my ability to play pinball (my favorite being the Addams Family one) and other video games for large blocks of time with minimal financial means. There was the old Montecello Bowl. An oversized tin lean-to with 8 lanes and a bar that served Schmitt, Schmitt Light, Schmitt Bock, and Miller High Life. I look back and wonder why my parents would travel 30 minutes to bowl there and still can't figure it out. The "arcade" consisted of a Ms. Pacman machine complete with cigarette burns, some turn-a-quarter into a palm-full of old candy stand, and a Brunswick ball shining machine. When I wasn't begging for mom to throw a strike which meant another game with my bow-tied mistress or some M&Ms, I would watch these grown adults chain smoke while tossing their 16 pound bowling balls down the lane. Great way to introduce your son to adult life.

Five years ago my parents started bowling at Spectrum lanes. During my youth, I would bike the mile and a half (using super cool shortcuts through the neighborhood) up there on a free summer day to snag a twist ice cream cone at McDonalds, then spend the rest of my allowance at the bowling alley between throwing a house ball down the lane with a palmed hook and at the arcade which had Street Fighter and Galaga to eat up the rest of my hardly earned cash. I was a fairly shy and lonely kid facing self-esteem issues back then and bowling was a fun, solidary activity if you were not on a team (which I wasn't). I didn't have teammates judging me if I didn't throw strikes, overthrow a cut-off man, or pop-up a sacrifice bunt. My ability to bowl was/is not spectacular but it was my time away from reality, my space to crawl into so I didn't have to hear the heckling about my thick glasses, or my busting the bell curve on a math test, or my hearing, or my goofy speech patterns. Me, myself, and I.

I have won awards/trophies for math contests, golf, hockey, baseball, volleyball, softball, even online gaming. But never before have I won something in the one activity that got me through the akwardness of growing up.

Until this weekend.

(Horrible picture alert, and Drizz shilling a site not-to-be-named)

That's the lineup of 1st thru 5th (going from right to left) at the Twin Cities Challenge at Earl Brown Bowl this past weekend. I'm the tall guy with the stupid smile of someone who downed three tall Leinie Honey-Weiss' a tad too quickly and the Absolute Poker *shudder* t-shirt that came in 4th.

The tourney pitted the top 10 Minneapolis bowlers and St. Paul bowlers from a tourney two weeks ago for most improved average in a freeroll for a $600 purse. I took home $75 in my 4th place finish. Which will probably cover my tips to the waitresses at the IP while playing poker and early morning Pai-Gow at the Coast in Decemeber.

A little dorky? Yeah, but I'm a self-proclaimed (ok, my wife affirms it on a daily basis) dork and when is it not fun to win something?

I got my wife to finish up a PLO SnG on Full Tilt the other night with 7 people remaining while I tended to Little Drizz's reminders that he needed a story read to him before going to sleep. A hardcover Dr. Seuss book to the face of the parent is a good way to convey your message when you're two. After MrsDrizz knocked out the fourth place guy with a set of aces, even she got excited... for about five seconds... as I came back down stairs and she was already bored with the game but I urged her finish up the tourney (she took 2nd) hoping she'd catch the poker bug. I tried but it looks like poker in my household will be played by Me, Myself, and I. (at least till Little Drizz is ready from BadBlood's chip challenges) .

Thanks for dropping by, now go here to learn more about bowling and why people seem to play better during the 2 for 1 league specials.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Does This Mean Someone Actually Reads This Scribble?

My blog is worth $33,307.86.
How much is your blog worth?

I'm sure Pauly, Iggy, or Al's site will hit six figures.

Got this from TFG's site.

Fire Mike Ti... Oh Wait They Won

I guess I should be an elated Vikes fan this morning after the way they played 30 minutes of football. Too bad the NFL requires 60 minutes in a regulation football game, more if your kicker doesn't fill the ball with helium and knock a 56 yard winning field goal.

"I spoke negatively in the locker room for the first time in two years" - Coach Tice

This was referring to the Vikes first half blunders of fumbles and missed opportunities that have marred what was supposed to be a playoff/super bowl type season. Farve looked like the Super Bowl days of Sterling Sharpe, Desmond Howard, and Reggie White on D in the first half, shredding our defense like it was an away game on grass.

Not so in the second half.

I don't know what was screamed in the Purple's locker room, but it certainly got people worked up and they managed to make Farve look sad on the sidelines as he watched helplessly to the balloon kick that started somewhere in Canada and split the uprights for the win.

A sad Farve makes every Viking's fan heart warm with glee. Good luck next week guys. And Tice... more negative talk, less nice guy approach when the game is going on.


I wish I had a story about running deep into the PokerStars Blogger Championship. I wish I had won the iPod Nano like a certain Professional Poker Player and a huge junk wielding, bluff-call busting, bracelet winner.

It wasn't my day.

There was a fresh Cap'n Coke on my desktop, some pretzel rods from Old Dutch, and the Bangle's singing Hazy Shade of Winter on iTunes. Ready for battle against 1471 bloggers.

I finished 1400 and almost edged out -EV for the Gigli prize.

I ran my flopped set into someone's TPTK and got all the money in the middle... then he turned a flush draw, and hit the flush on the river. Railbirding me in a tourney is like watching the virgin having sex in a horror movie. Its not a question that they'll die, its question of how gruesome Jason, Freddy, or Michael will dispose of the corpse.

Is this a sign of a good player? Bad beat whines? Am I destined to a life of Phil Hellmouth's type tirades? Lucky for me that I enjoy cash games more and leave tournies for those who have the patience to lose their buy-in after three hours with nothing to show for it.

At least a stiff drink plus someone stacking off in a cash game vs. your top boat winning you an iPod makes up for it. Kinda. Not really. But it helps the Vegas fund at least.

Sadly Little Drizz is battling the flu/cold and that put a damper on an otherwise awesome event. Thanks again to Ryan, Otis, and PokerStars for making this happen. Too cool for any words in my limited vocabulary.

Anyone have an update on Bobby's friend, the bluff-calling manaic Richie? I hope he found a Lifetime mini-series, a pint of Chunky Monkey and a bottle of Valium. I've never seen someone go off after LOSING WITH THE WORST HAND WRITING ALL IN CAPS FOR THE NEXT HOUR. Of course that opened the floodgate for some interesting quips because what's a blogger tourney without smack talk?

Pauly had the best bust out one liner when The Fat Guy met his demise in the tourney. "TFG just busted out and you can hear a collective sigh over Texas". Gold.

After sitting with the sick little one for a little bit, I came back down to hop into a blogger cash game with a couple of bloggers from across the pond (Pinky and Div forward me your URLs so I can link ya up). Pure LAG-fest of course while other bloggers poured in. Keeping poker fresh one hammer at a time. Thanks guys :)

Has anyone mentioned that the WPBT Imperial Palace tourney can't get here soon enough? No? Maybe Superman can spin the earth forward instead of backwards this time.

Thanks for dropping by now go check out the tourney recaps by clicking on any link on the right. Tomorrow... Drizz makes a split, and shills for a poker site he doesn't even like.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Drizz The Greek's Week 7 NFL Picks

Shorten, 2 minute, no-huddle post since I'm attending my nephew's 1st birthday party prior to today huge Poker Blogger freeroll put on by PokerStars

2 team parlays

Lions +2.5, Seachickens -3
Vikes/GB over 46, Colts/DavidCarrSucks over 44 (this will only win if Indy wins by 50)

4 team parlays

Rams -3.5, Bungles -1, Seachickens -5 (this line moved big time), Ravens +1
Vikes +1.5, Colts -16.5, Browns -3, Broncos +2

Ugh, I hate being hurried, but its neccessary for marital bliss. Peace and good luck!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Neither Here or There

The Grand Casino Hinckley trip was a success in showing my parents a good time, just wish the wallet didn't take a hit.

Poker - one 3/6 limit hold em table running *shudder* with the local rocks and an occasional ESPN WSOP viewer filing in to give away $60 a time when they caught middle pair and ran into a rock's set or overpair. Uneventful for the most part, except one rock managed to call four bets cold with JTs vs. my AA and another guy's KK. Story to be completed by scribbing one of those invisible ink pens over this page. +$22

Blackjack - saw a woman betting $50 a hand at a $5 table who thought Halloween started on Oct. 20th. She had more open scars and bruises than David Carr after playing the Colts. My table brought the fun back into blackjack as my luck has usually alluded me in this silly game. Girl needed money for a doubled down, being the knight in shining armor I flipped over a redbird and promptly won the bet earning a lusty smile. "Look at the menu but can't order" I think is the saying, so I looked at the plentiful rack being displayed while she sat on a corner seat. Also earned $4.32 in comps just in case I ever want a grilled cheese from the snack bar. +$29.32

Slots - I won, I lost, I let my degenerate gambling mother keep me in penny slot hell too long. Like having to drive home from your local neon moon bar... penny slots have a slogan.

"Know when, to say when" -$100.00

Buffet - Yum-e. I ate too much, and was surprised by the quality tonight. The crab ragoon was soft, the fried chicken juicy, and skin-on mashed taters were whipped just right. +8,356 calories

Long day today, grabbing a pumpkin for Little Drizz at the local fire station, then the bowling tourney, then a touring nature walk. Should be a fun, domestic day except for the chance encounter of women with names burned into the necks at the bowling alley. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Quality vs. Quantity

This arguement is made over lots of topics. Food, alcohol, sex, and... I know this is a surprise... ONLINE POKER!

I bet that topic tie-in hit you in the back of the head like a boomerang from an Outback Steakhouse commerical. /End failed attempt at online sarcasm.

I know there's been posts detailing win rates per big bet from playing like an ABC monkey robot over double digit tables on lower limit tables vs. moving up in limits and playing few less tables for greater stakes. Yes, the safe, profitable way is to play low limits playing only your own cards and you will be a winner simply from playing +EV cards/situations over and over blah blah blah.
But I would like to broach the subject on the online poker room experience itself. Why do established players choose one site over another? I have played at and have funds at several online sites and even though each one has a similar random number generator (RNG) spitting out the virtual cards to be shown on our monitors, players choose to play at site A over site B for different reasons. It could be the customer service, the comps (bonuses, swag, freerolls), competition, art work of the room, ease of use buttons, game selection.

A quality (when I say quality, I'm referring to his/her preference in online site not necessarily their poker skill level) player who enjoys the game as a hobby and/or has no desire to try to keep up with 5 games at a time might say to a quantity player "how the hell can you stand that site man?!?! it has the worst customer service, software that looks like it was built by Ms. Anderson's third grade tech lab, and the avatar in the three seat just won't stop staring at my junk".

In other words the quality player might be looking for customer service that doesn't take more red tape then your basic military requisition request to do something simple like changing your address (ARE YOU LISTENING YET PARTYPOKER?!!?!). He/she is probably searching for a pretty looking interface with plenty of customizable options on betting buttons, hand histories to be loaded into pokertracker, and timely resolutions to disputes on possible collusion/cheating, tournament disconnects/deals, and prompt cash-outs.

On the other hand the quantity player punching out a quarter of a big bet profit per hour on 10+ tables (which adds up VERY quickly, see a math guru site for actual numbers) might argue to the quality player that "dude, why do you care if the site has a customer service that's run by emus, just look at how big the fish tank is and how much I'm making in rakeback!".

The quantity player who multi-tables like a person with ADHD on speed probably isn't concerned with the layout of the interface except for ease of use betting buttons/commands, and is more concerned with the speed of the deal, and the availablity of games.

Different needs/wants for different styled players. So where does that leave the prospective poker sites looking to attract new players and/or improve their exsisting site?

Do you market the availabilty of playing against the pros (Full Tilt), having the largest game selection (PartyPoker), best customer service and tournaments (PokerStars), quickest deal/RNG plus available games other then Hold Em'/Omaha/Stud (UltimateBet), anytime reloadable bonuses with easy to use sportbook (BoDog), easy to clear bonuses and easy rackback offers (Absolute) attachment to a casino for super-fishy slot players coming over to the poker site (Crypto, Pacific, and Prima networks), seeing similar names every night, overlay on tournaments (any smaller site).

Is it possible to smush all these sites into one? Isn't variety the spice of life, and why don't wives recognize that? I already secured my place on the couch and in hell thankyouverymuch.

Online poker players should be thankful that these options are open to them. Much like choosing a bank, favorite grocery store, or which drive thru to grab dinner from this evening, online poker sites offer their own quirks and advantages. Do you want Arby sauce with that sir? Of course, silly question. Same basic services being offered in a slighty different way. Wendy's fries >>> McDonald's fries just so you know.

My personal poker preferences lean towards wanting availablity in my favorite game (PLO8), bonuses that do not have an expiration date (since I have no desire to five table just to bonus whore, and getting three hours of sleep each night hurts while working the next morning), cheapy tourneys being run continuously, and cash outs that do not take a week to receive.

Most of my play goes to Full Tilt, PokerStars, and BoDog for the reasons I listed. It doesn't mean the other sites suck, or are dysfunctional (except for Party's customer service which rivals a tattered ballcap wearing American trying to get service at a high priced French restaurant).

Is there a solution to poker sites catering to the quality vs. quantity player? If I knew the answer I would be typing this on a laptop from St. Kitts with some tropical foo-foo drink and topless models serving me pizza rolls.


I will be heading up to Grand Casino Hinckley tomorrow to show my parents my appreciation for the free day care they are kind enough to provide. And maybe hit up the poker room and penny slot or four. Then this weekend I'll be participating in the Minneapolis vs. St. Paul bowling tourney I qualified for two weeks ago. I heard the chick with the name tattoo'd on her neck will be there to answer compelling questions on branding herself in such a questionable manner that new scientific laws spawned to describe it. That, and I'm hoping to earn a little more cash for Vegas or at least pay off my bar tab while drinking during the tourney.

Look again at your calendar WPBT tournament folks... Dec. 10th is getting closer :)

Thanks for dropping by, and go check out Meek's Poker Bank Roll yet for a viewpoint not taken by other bloggers. My bankroll would probably be staring back at me repeating "are we there yet?". Sigh.

Monday, October 17, 2005

A Blog is a Blog that's a Blog

What makes a good (poker) blog? By Drizztdj

This is my thoughts and viewpoints on this subject for a contest being run by the PokerStars Blogger Championship Blog. Since the Vikes are just as likely at this point to win the NFC Central (hell... how about a divisional game), then I am to become a top referral to the wonderful freeroll being put on by PokerStars, I thought I'd bang out a few words about what makes poker blogs readable.

I'm not a good example.

But I will outline the two reasons why I read few talented yet humble folks on the internet, who invite us into their lives on a semi-daily basis to discuss the topic of their choice. As you can see from my personal blogroll, my topic of choice is poker.

Most bloggers have a back story on how they came about to this game we study/analyze/bitch about on a nightly basis. And that's the first step in beginning a (poker) blog.

What was your influence?

- Did you watch Moneymaker on ESPN take an online qualifier seat from PokerStars and roll through some of the toughest poker pros in the world on the way to that gold bracelet in the World Series of Poker?

- Did you already have a love for card games like five card stud, euchre, and cribbage while playing with your grandma growing up at the cabin for pennies and saw an ad while online for free poker versus thousands of other players? After seeing the ads you went "hmmmm that looks like fun, I have a couple of bucks from my paper route, maybe I'll end up on TV someday!"

- Are you a gambler who has been looking desperately for a game that "could be beat"?

Every blog you see on the right has a background story about how they came into this game we play/study/analyze/love/hate. Its what makes the blog more real and readable which segues into my next point of what makes a good (poker) blog...

Be yourself.

Everyone has their own personality, keep yours, no one likes cardboard cutouts when the real thing is available.

Its tales of drunken poker mastery or just drunken poker :)

Its people who play for a living.

Its professionals who found a hobby.

Its writers, journalist, and journeymen who weave their thoughts and experiences onto this medium much more eloquently then I. Some even score a gig to do this for a living.

Its talented people expressing their thoughts on poker strategy.

Its answering and debating on the tough questions surrounding both live and online poker.

Its humor and whitty sarcasm that makes you think rather then just read.

Its high stakes and low stakes players detailing their triumphs and defeats.

ok one more if your eyes don't already need that 15th drop of Visine from all the links...

Its tournament specialist, "weird" games specialist, and weird players who add color commentary to the world of poker not found on ESPN or FoxSports channels.

Try a couple of the links above and on the right, you'll see the variety for yourself. Clicking on a poker blog is like Christmas morning while still in your one piece zip-up Transformers PJs. You'll see big presents, small ones, ones that outline a hockey stick, and ones that feel like socks. But they're all different and new, because even the socks feel good to receive despite wanting that Voltron five piece all die-casted metal set instead.

Ok, I've linked out my little heart this morning now you can journey into the world of poker blogs or any blog for that matter. If you want to start your own blog, write about what interests you and how it runs parallel to your life. People do read these things, even mine, despite having English skills of a toddler that's just learning the word "no".

Thanks for dropping by, now if you have a blog and haven't signed up for the PokerStars Blogger Championship what are you waiting for... Christmas?

Fire Mike Tice

I had a post all ready about a really fun pokery weekend, including a wild blogger game at Full "servers are working fine according to Hank" Tilt.

But that got ruined at about 1:15pm CST on Fox.

Go see these fine blogs to catch a recap or two, or maybe just because I sucked out on them and I'm probably in the doghouse.

TEXANS SUCK! (actually they rule for completing my three team parlay bet thus wiping out all losses this weekend)
The lovely MrsCantHang
Doubleas (so close in that double shootout man, nice job, I know you'll get that ticket!!)

And remember.... Drizz = Rock


If the Gopher game's ending wasn't enough to kill the football spirit in this state, Mike Tice sent the bones through a grinder and into the incinerator.

You've said "blame starts at the top", time to own up for it. Sorry Mike, you're a likable guy and a hell of a character, but you're not a NFL head coach.

Sorry for the short post today, I love my Minnesota football and those two efforts really kicked me in the creative junk this weekend.

Thanks for dropping by, now head over here if you'd like to feel REALLY old and get your ass kicked by a seven year old in a video game. How soon before we can expect this kid to get sick of fraging people and own up the $1000 NLHE PartyPoker games?

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Drizz The Greek's Week 6 NFL Picks

Fresh off a night of sucking out more then Jenna Jamison at a stag party. I'm here once again to offer my losing NFL picks. Hey if I can win with the hammer three times in one session, the Vikes can actually cover, right?


Too busy nailing the local call girls to run post patterns? At least there will be an endless supply of Gatorade on the sidelines to replenish their lost fluids and probable hangovers from their Hedonism V boat tour.

I'm still miffed the Vikes would even think about pulling shit like this with their season crumbling before their eyes. Grow up guys.

Without further ado... my PICKS OF THE WEEK!! (remember opposites attract the money)


Jets and Bills OVER 33 - I know both offenses remind you of that flag football game you played during halftime of the family Thanksgiving dinner. But 33 points when both teams are struggling shouldn't be too far fetched

Parlay MADNESS!!

NYG +3, SD -2.5, Seachickens -9
NYG +3, Lions +1, Atl -6, Steelers -3.5, and SD -2.5

Lottery picks here but the strong games I feel are the Superchargers and NYG's Eli Manning finally finding his NFL footing. Plus for $5 and a chance to win $100 can't be horrible, right? Since people from Powerball are not beating down my door this morning with a $300 million dollar check, I'm forced to win money on a lesser scale.

7.5 point teaser bet
Atl +1.5, Vikes +10.5, Browns +13.5, and Colts -6

I haven't won one of these bets this year, am I due? Does AA EVER come up vs. KK pre-flop? Ok, that was mean. :)

Enjoy your NFL Sunday!! I know I will... at least till the Vikes game starts.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Live Tournament Post!

I'm drunk and playing four tournies today thanks to the beautiful JOanne. Let us begin.

$11 Rebuy, $2 NLHE, $1 NLHE, $11 LO8

9:36 pm - $11 Rebuy - got called down with trip 9s, and wished I had an more double cheeseburgers from McDonalds

9:39 pm - $1 NLHE Caught two pair with A2sOOOOOOOOted win big pot because I rule.

9:42 pm - wondering why the hell I signed up for all these tournies while smached.

9:48 pm- Out in rebuy due to back to back flush chasing fuckers hitting on the river

10:04pm - Started a BBJ table at Party, hating myself for doing it

10:08pm - chat on yahoo plus three games going is frying my brain, secretly hoping for death soon

10:23pm - Pocket Queens hold up vs. Pocket Jacks, not sure why but I'll take it

10:24pm - Helixx gets some music going, this is gonna be a long night

10:41pm - cracking an ice cold macro brew, taste like shit compared to Cap'n Coke but its cold and wet

10:42pm - Flopped boat with J9o got minimal action, thanks.

11:10pm - BG predicts USC by 10 at Sound Bend tomorrow, hit up 2nd mortgage and bet on

11:11pm - Wondering why I'm still in three tournies but go back to my beer for more insight

11:27pm - chat continues during the second break to discuss the finer points of Joannie and Chachi's courtship

11:28pm - busted in LO8 tourney with AA37 ds, flop the nut flush draw and a set.... someone gets a J high runner runner straight, god fuckin bless his/her heart

11:29pm - push with 66 thinking of the Spaceman, win the blinds and stay alive in the $2 tourney, $1 I'm above par still after busting someone with AQ

11:38pm - TT no gOOt, with three overs, I back off the chip leader's big bet, wuss? Mayhaps but I enjoy cashing because it makes me tingle between my legs

11:52pm - still in both tournies but getting blinded out on one of them, need some lovin like a catholic school girl here

11:53pm - J5o? Fuck you sir!

11:54pm - 65s? Not with two all-ins thankyouverymuch

11:56pm - CASHOOOOOOOOOOOOLA gimme some McNuggets baby!! Still hanging on in the other tourney

12:01am - Hand for Hand in the tourney that I'm EXTREMELY short in.... MONEY MONEY!!!!!! UP THAT TO A 10 PIECE NUGGET HONEY!

12:03am - Finally get Aces in the BB of the short stacked tourney they hold up vs. 77, the poker gods have taken mercy on me

12:05am - In the $2 get JJ, re-raise all in and snag a couple of limpers and blinds

12:09am - Found sailboats with my short stack..... coin flip... lost of course to KJ why does the poker god continue to smite me?

12:14am - and of course.... big stack runs 99 into ANOTHER LOSING FUCKIN COIN FLIP, god I hate this game sometimes

Thus endeth zee post. Enjoy your weekend.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Random Thursday Post

I was frisky this morning and hit the "random blog" button. Usually you get some spam blog but not today!

I don't know what the fuck she's talking about or the need for more pop ups then your basic porn site (not that I EVER visit those). But the author seems intent on being a model student despite her AOL-teen speak writing style.

Ok, that was lame. But it was neat to get an actual blog for once, rather then a shell for selling Viagra or the Suck n' Cut hair styling system.


Poker? I was just planing on being a railbird last night because the effects of four hours of sleep a night are finally catching up to me. In Vegas, I can stay awake no problem, just get me a McGriddle, a Cap'n Coke, and a loose $2/$4 table or some extreme Keno and I'm ready to go! At home, excitement is kept to burning a grilled cheese sandwich or finding some food that Little Drizz hid under a couch a few months ago.

But, while sweating BadBlood at a Razz table on Full Tilt, I decided to hit up a PLO tournament that was starting out in five minutes. Played two hands, caught a nut straight-redraw to a flush on the flop, called by a set, you know the rest. But, after the tournament I get a message "you cleared $15 of your bonus!", so I actually made four dollars by losing. What a site!

The domed muscle man then suggested hitting up Party's Bad Beat Jackpot tables with their gignormous $450K jackpot at the moment. I had less then a buy-in but it was money I'd receive from a referral so... why not? 40 hands played, AA, QQ, AQs, AK all held up to double up my short $75 buy-in and if a flush draw would have hit, I would have tripled my buy-in as the fish overplayed any paint even if it missed the flop. The problem with these tables is variance. Even though its limit, generally the variance is higher then even PLO or a regular stud game due to the amount of people involved in each hand. Four out of Five PartyPoker shills agree, if you can ride the waves of Bad Beat Jackpot tables expect a decent windfall.

I ended the short night playing an SnG, a little NLHE ring game, some PLO8 with Maigrey and GCox, and sweating AJ in a tournament at Stars.

SnG - I watch in amazement as someone received KK, QQ, QQ, AKs, and KK in five hands. Must be rough.

NLHE - Made $.55 at a $100 table after an hour. Rawr? I should have snagged a stack with a rope-a-dope from an over aggressive idiot who raised my blinds every orbit, but I re-raised with KK and he mucked for the first time. Doh!

PLO8 - Uneventful except to listening to Maigrey whine about hating my favorite game, and she even won last night! Me? I was down two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's. I'm vowing for revenge on the penny tables tonight.

The Naked Armani Model was aggressively checking down hands at the nightly $22 NLHE tourney so we had time to discuss paying off a wager on the Twinkies having a better record then the As. Another wonderful job of sports handicaping by yours truly. Hopefully the hotel employees don't drink winnings before I get the package.


The volleyball match went on without incident yesterday.

For me at least. My wife's assistant coach got a visit from a parent who forgot to take her midol in the afternoon. A little background... there's an "A" squad and a "B" squad, generally girls are moved up and down between the two squads if it is warranted by someone not showing the same talent they did in tryouts or disciplinary actions.

One girl got moved down due to a mix of school detentions and bumping the ball like Mr. Magoo. She played her first game with the "B" squad yesterday and true to whiny form, didn't try at all, pouted like Little Drizz not getting to watch Thomas the Tank Engine: New Friends for Thomas, and sulked off the court during the game. Yeah, sure fire way to impress the coaches kid. Anyhow, the den mother didn't like her poor cub being hurt and unleashed the fury DURING THE FUCKIN GAME WITH ALL THE PLAYERS ON THE BENCH LISTENING.

Word of advice to noted crazy parent: Grow up, it might teach your daughter to do the same. And secondly I was very close to making her the center of attention to the entire crowd by stopping the game until she finished her Bob Knight sidelines tirade.

End rant and good riddance.


A quick pokery question: Rakeback: I got a couple of offers at 2+2 the other day, anyone else do this? Is it worth it for a part-time, borderline retarded player like myself? They actually mention sites that I haven't signed for that are skins for UB and Prima.


Vikings (thanks DP for finding this before it came out in the StarTrib yesterday)

Sigh. First off what did the yacht owners think was going to happen with all those ladies accompaning a bunch of professional athletes? Talk about Marxism and its failings? Perhaps rousing game of Scattergories? The details are probably blown out of proportion. BUT... (and apparently there were many butts) nothing would have been in the paper IF the drunken horn-balls wouldn't have tried to hit on the fuckin staff of the boat! Smooth move kids. You're not in college, you get paid $XX millions of dollars to play a game AND try to maintain a good image. Yes, its part of being an entertainer. Going to a strip club? No problem, not newsworthy, unless of course you grope the bartender and throw her in the back of your Bentley. Is it really that tough to remain under radar enough to have fun without ending up on the front page?

I'll always be a Vikes fan, but can't help but feel a little embarrassed by this.

Thanks for dropping by, now check out a couple of Vikes denying the lewdness. I still think things were overstated, but involving the boat's staff in the party and pissing on someone's lawn WHILE SHE'S TELLING THEM TO STOP is simply showing the total disregard some pro athletes have for anyone outside of their "circle".

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Bring It On!

Courtney: Let's not put the "duh" in dumb!

I show the dumb everytime I type in this blog or hit the bet button. But, once in a great while I manage to win a little bit from this game we play or type up some amusing analogy or metaphor.

Yes, welcome to the roller-coaster existence once again of a low limit player. Each post is guaranteed to contain either reflections about losses or puffing out the chest about wins.

Not so much anymore.

Unless of course if I scoop some LAG that fleeced me previously, then IMs need to go out :) I love me some payback!

The winning and losing sessions are blurring more and more together now which is a sign of "growing" as a poker player. You'll get the phrase "its all one big long session" pounded into your head like a chair from HHH or Ric Flair, if not, you have some reading to do. If you have been playing for a semi-significant amount of time you'll realize that two nights in a row (or even a week) of someone catching a straight flush vs. your flopped quads, or a ragged two pair vs. your Queens/Kings/Aces is just variance. That 10% chance to win will hit 100% of the time over an infinite amount of time! Meaning, yes you were the favorite, yes you put your money in with the best of it, yes you're beautiful and sexy, but you'll only win 90% of the time.

A certain PLO8 loving Princess reminds me constantly "Get over yourself!".... even if she's wrong :)

Blunt and to the point, just like her. But this reminds any poker player from Johnny Chan to Phil Laak to Grubby to that WPT fanboi in the eight seat snacking down Extra-thin Newports with an iPod complete with Bose headsets, wrap around mirrored shades and four Dazed and Confused cast member rejects praising his every fold and raise like he was the King of Siam at the $2/$4 table, that poker is gambling.

Sure you had a good shot of winning, yes you can manipulate the results by bluffing and making the best hand fold, but when the cards are flipped over at showdown, you are at the mercy of the gambling aspect of poker. The more you realize this concept, the more a player can be at peace when the cards do not come out in his/her favor. Constant reminders that its a winning edge, not an absolute that you correctly put someone on a hand and bet accordingly. But as true to the Theory of Poker by Sklansky, if you play your hand the same way as if the cards were face up you gain, if you played them differently, your opponent gains. That's your edge on variance and what will make you a winning player, keep playing your cards as you've studied and eventually variance will greet you at the door holding a bottle of Cristal in a lace teddy from Fredrick's.

Missy: OK, so I never cheered before. So what? What about doing something that actually requires neurons.

Random quote, random picutre.

Carry on.

Golden Joey commented yesterday about a video game prop bet while in Vegas. A few months ago being rusty from my days of chucking quarters down a Galaga machine at Montecello Bowl as a kid while watching my parents finish up their Friday night league games, my wife acquired this for me. Until now I haven't had much time to play being busy over the summer with tiring things like drinking beers up at the cabin. That is going to change.

Arcade. Galaga. Bowling alley. Vegas. I can't lose. Bring it on sir.

Of course I said that couldn't lose last night when I flopped top-pair top kicker, a straight flush draw, and 4 to a nut low with counterfeit protection (try counting all THOSE outs!), only to lose to runner runner boat and no low. Maybe the power will go out right before I topple his high score. Stranger things have happened like Bush getting elected President again.

As seen from comments about Galaga previously, it seems poker bloggers lived similar lives. Euchre anyone? Strange and distrubing. Just curious.. did anyone else try skating onto the ice while being introduced in a hockey tournament while still wearing their skate guards? No? Just me? Ok.

Thanks for dropping by, I'll be ref'ing Jr. High school volleyball this afternoon, so if you have suggestions on headache control for two hours of high pitched cheering, over-excited parents, and occasional coaching arguements. It would be most appreciated.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Euphoric Kick To The Junk

A short post today due to my not wanting to break a two-week promise to a certain Princess.

I had quite the roller-coaster of emotions yesterday. While at work I receive a very pleasant mid-year review. Its always nice to hear positive things about your time in the cubical jungle.

Then my sister emailed me later on about the result of the bowling tourney I participated in on Saturday since she finished 4th in the women's division. Yes, brother and sister both finished as the best loser (most improved average) of the same league... wheeeeeeeeeeee. Anyhow, I guess I should have stuck around for the awards ceremony because I finished tied for 3rd out of ~80 bowlers!! I didn't think my score was even close for a cash, but cash I get! Its not "you can buy-in to the 10/25 NL game now" type of cash, but it will sedate my bonus penny slots fetish at Grand Casino in Hinckley next week for an hour. Also, I get a freeroll in the Twin Cities Bowling Challenge next Saturday at Earl Brown Bowl for even more cash.

Me > Pete Weber

Free cash is always +EV

However 2nd best hands and the San Diego Super Chargers are not (Field goals suck ass m'kay?).

I caught a couple of nasty second bests last night while playing a quick hour session before heading to bed. I got caught with hands that were very difficult to release and paid the price. But, I've been surprisingly calm about losing hands lately. Maybe the princess knows what she's talking about...

Naw. What do chicks know about playing a man's game like poker?

Did that wake you up? Good, I'm trying to make a joke on the internet. It always works of course.


Since I'm in Ozzy Osborne mode here for original content this morning, so I'm going to suggest a few posts I've read recently! SHARON!

Here's a blog I was forwarded to by a friend. Its about a charity dinner cooked up by two guys for the benefit of a hospice. Be sure to check out the sexy guy in the WPBT apron in the second pic. Also note that there are enough vowels used to choke Cookie Monster, Big Bird, Bert and Ernie for a year.

Doc does it again with his lastest Tao of Risk post. No European prostitues who squirt are in this gem of discussing the art of taking calculated risk at the poker table. On a weird side tangent, it ponders the question... who would be the best poker playing movie/TV character? My vote goes out to Michael Corleone. Calls his brother's bluff, not afraid to smack down his brother-in-law, instills fear and respect in people around him by just being in the room.

Would you call him with the 3rd nuts to risk sleeping with the fishes?

Here's 2+2's lineup of threads to bitch/applaud/mourn the decision of Party to disband the Empire/Eurobet/Multipoker skins from its network. As found on Bill Rini's PokerFilter. My take on the mess? I don't play much at Party because its customer service is non-existant, the software has been actually DOWNGRADED with the addition of blackjack and some weird "side prop bet". I've stated once, when I pull up poker tables, I want to play poker. If I want to play some -EV games I'll pull up Lucky Nugget or Royal Vegas casino.

Wearing sunglass to the table is Beck's latest post about live play in AC. There's a very fine line between "I'm a serious player" and "I'm a WPT fanboi". Can you pull off the sunglasses look without looking like Screech trying to ask out Lisa Tuttle?

Our favorite blogging dealer Linda has several posts about her experiences dealing the WPT UltimateBet event in Aruba. And a certain hammer icon wielding blogger steps out from behind the monitor into the live arena again only to receive a kick to the lower regions, a hangover, and an experience to savor. Well played DoubleAs!

If Bobby Bracelet doesn't make you spray your morning triple iced mocha all over your monitor, there's something wrong with you. And if you have 36DDs to go with your Gabby Reece legs he might even acknowledge your existence.

JoeSpeaker comes out a better man from childhood roller-rink love experience. It may not be about poker, but I definitely saw my ex-marine dad in a different light after reading it. Inspiring prosaic post once again from the Beckham of poker bloggers.

PokerProf knocks one out of the park with a recent post about retaining online players to sites and customer service. As a player who plays on many different sites, I would love to limit my play to one or two sites if the right rakeback/bonuses/comps were offered.

Thanks for dropping by, now if you haven't signed up for the PokerStars freeroll listed above, you are in the words of the blogfather "profoundly retarded". But please don't take my iPod I'm shooting for!!!

Monday, October 10, 2005


"Sleep deprivation is rampant. A large proportion of the problem is due to the high paced lifestyle causing the lack of time to get the sleep we need. The other reason people are so sleep deprived is due to sleep disorders. Most people are unaware, as are most physicians. Sleep was not taught during their medical training."


Anyone else feel like this guy this morning? *Raises hand*

Yet another sign you're not ready to be a pro poker player? Can't play back to back nights until the clock reads "AM" and function normally the next day? Many wanna-be pros forget that what you see on TV is just a small snipet of that 18 hour day (or two or three) before the players reached that final table. One of Phil Ivey's or Barry Greenstein's many talents is being physically ready to play a full tournament day and have enough gas in the tank to lap the field in the cash games at night. Me? I'm finally learning the difference between how I play while rested and alert versus tired/drunk/chatting it up with my fellow degenerates found on the right hand side of the page.

But if a player is to become better he/she needs to learn to play optimally under any circumstances. Everyone gets tired, no one has that Mickey Mouse Club size smile on their faces 24/7, and if you do, put down the moisterizer and turn off the Playboy channel that your brother hacked so you could watch for free. Pervert.

Life brings distractions, if it didn't what's the point of living in the first place? Life is all about the distractions. Its the toaster that burns the top of your Wonder bread, while leaving the bottom paler then a Minnesotan in January. Its your spouse telling you she's pregnant (but I'm waiting till the ultrasound till I start buying cigars, but everything is looking good at the moment). Its friends coming over on two hours notice and Tropical Storm Little Drizz just went through your house with a box of Fruity Pebbles. Or, Its globe-trotting while covering poker events in Europe, you know like normal people :) Being able to handle these distractions while playing is yet another reason why the pros are pros (as stated above) and you and I are playing on the internet grinding out a half a big bet an hour more or less.

How do I deal with the distractions? The easy way is to shut out everything, IMs, liquor cabinets, lock the kids in their rooms. Basically encase yourself in a poker cocoon and wait for the lustful Jessica Tandy to breathe life into your aging body. Where's the fun in that? I'm not saying that Miss Daisy wouldn't be fun in the sack... Ewww, I just grossed myself out.

I'm probably going against everything that is out there about dealing with distractions and tell you to embrace them, rather then fight them. If you spend all this energy on avoiding distractions, doesn't that become a distraction on it own?

This doesn't mean open up six tables of three different poker variations, down dial-a-shots like you're auditioning for The AlCantHang Experience roadie position, and keep up with five different IM windows. But don't attempt to shut off life while you're playing because more then likely you'll go on tilt from the boredom.

A certain known poker writer was kind enough to write back about boredom and how he combats it at the tables. "Play a game, within the game" to simplify his response. If you find yourself getting bored while folding J2o for the 24,631th time, try guessing everyone's cards, sexual orientation, hometown and occupation. Anything to learn more about your opponents, so when you are finally blessed with decent cards and/or position to steal/bluff you know how that gay Micro-Marine Biologist from Seattle, WA is going to react to your 3XBB raise from middle position.


I participated in this on Saturday. Is being the "most improved" at anything similar to being the best loser? I won an award similar to this at the Bemidji Hockey camp simply because I was the highest scoring yet worst technically sound player on the ice. My coaches could never get over this 75 pound kid who couldn't see two feet in front of him, couldn't hear the whistle, yet could stick-handle well-enough so he wouldn't get pummled by some over-grown moose of a defensemen even while camping in front of the net like a good center does.

Anyhow... I ended up with a 690 series with my handicap. According to the past years of that tourney it should be good enough to score me some penny slots cash. I might have done better if I'd started drinking earlier as my best game came after shotgunning a 40 oz macro brew. Little Drizz was restless while watching and I didn't have enough quarters to satisfy his Skittles hunger from the candy machine but luckly he was engrossed in watching THE GOPHERS BEAT MICHIGAN HAHAHAHAHAHA. Had to be said. Go Gophers!!!!

Bowling alleys brings out all sorts of characters, one of the female gender caught my attention. No, her tits were not hanging out nor was she giving lap dances for rolling a four bagger. But when she turned around she revealed a tattoo of her name (in black script) on her neck. Hmmmmm.... I posed this question to bloggers on IM over the weekend as to why she had this done. If you have a better answer then my three possible solutions below please leave a comment.

1) She was part of a sports team that got their names printed on their necks instead of their jerseys

2) She uses it as a set-up to kick out any jerk who calls her by the wrong name while tagging her doggie style

3) She has an identical twin and got sick of her boyfriend feeling up her sister "on accident"

Thanks for dropping by, now head here to see the quaint little apple orchard we visited on Sunday. Since the Vikes were not on (thankfully), we enjoyed a day of feeding goats, decent magic tricks, and paying $3.25 for the worst brat I've ever eaten. My opinion, go for the apples and sleigh-of-hand, eat lunch at McDonald's.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Drizz The Greek's Week 5 NFL Picks

Drizz adventures into college football a little bit today...

16 point - 4 team teaser! Madness!

Okie +30.5, Arizona +54.5, Marshall +51, Penn State +20

If I lose that bet I'm going to cry.

Single Team Bets

Gophers +8, Browns -3

Any game vs. the NFC North has to be a lock... maybe

Three team 6 point teaser

Ravens +10, Colts -7, Redskins +15.5

Think the defenses of the Ravens and Skins can keep the score close? Probably not.

Three team parlay

Packers -3, Dolphins +3, Texans -3

If there was ever a pick to go Constanza on.... here it is.


Over 46.5 SF/Colts

Payton throws for 4 TDs and Alex Smith somehow figures out a way to get 3 TDs in his first NFL start

Ok, so remember... if you want a lock, go bizzaro with these picks. Now I'm off to play in a bowling tournament despite my lackluster 173 average. Hope there's drink specials.

A special thanks to CJ... without that spur of the moment $55 tourney last night, I'd still be wallowing in this self-pity-I-hate-poker pool. It felt refreshing to take a shot, and thanks to some wonderful weak-tight players at the PLO8 tables I made the money back!

Two tournies + two cash games + three hours = $2.84 profit

Hot damn! I'm gonna go git me a biscuit and gravy special at Hardees! Or at least a Cap'n Coke at the bowling alley today.

Thanks for dropping by, now take your shot this weekend!!! But don't listen to Bobby Bracelet's advice while playing... :P I kid. I kid.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Dope Man Dope Man

Rap is the word this morning. N.W.A., Dre, Eazy-E, and some Ice Cube. Word.

I wish I had yet another exciting night of emu poker to report but I fell asleep during the WPT re-broadcast of the PartyPoker Millions. Not that limit tourneys are not exciting, something about getting 3 hours of sleep the night before and working 13 hours yesterday had to do with it.

Not whining, just stating a fact.

Tonight, my 1.5 liter bottle of Cap'n Morgan will be placed next to the computer monitor for minor consumption of alcohol. I plan on a long session of poker-y goodness and perhaps even reading the name tags of the games I'm playing before pissing away a stack. But if I start talking about playing pai-gow poker please BUZZ! me on Yahoo IM (hrking275). My last drunken adventure into that game didn't turn out too well.

Does anyone still watch hockey? Yes? One shutout in the NHL last night? A Lemaire coached Wild's team actually score six goals in a week, let alone one game? Rules changes? More question marks in this paragraph then on The Riddler? Could the NHL make a comeback with a higher scoring game? No more gay two line pass rule? Excellent.

I'd been turned off to hockey on TV for a while unless it was the Gophers or the state high school tourney. But watching the second period of the Wild's game last night piqued my interest. Minnesotans are treated to one of, if not the best hockey arena in the US, but the lack-luster Wild are/were boring to watch on TV. Watching the game at the Xcel is made even better when your brother snags a couple of all-access press passes. Yes, even the locker rooms ladies and no I didn't go check to see if any of the players go commando.

Dope man dope man gimme a hit, dope man says...

Wife brought me a mailing from Grand Casino Hinckley with a reduced rate hotel room for three weeks from now. Normally its to put in the trash, along with the coupons for dog grooming and aluminum siding. "Make reservations for Oct. 20th". Wha?!?!!? What's the catch? As pure, unadulterated gifts of my gambling soul come with some kind of clause. No catch, just hot tubs, cold calling three bets with sOOted cards, and progressive bonus penny slots! Now I wish I hadn't donked off that stack last night or it would be comfortable to withdraw a little bit more to play some blackjack also for comp reasons (since they don't comp poker nor three-card poker players, WTF BS!). Its my only gripe about playing there because the dealers are friendly, competent, and helpful to the people who bring $40 to the table and lose it within three hands of $2-$4. "Yes sir, that pair of deuces was an excellent hand to play unimproved with four people capping the turn, would you like more chips?".

Juice that fool 4 has much as u can

Any live poker is a treat for moi, yes even those no-brained pub tournies. Those are more for a "guy's night out" though. Tucking in Little Drizz and reading him Thomas and the Dragon for the third time in one night is fun and I wouldn't miss it for the world. But as stated in previous posts, everyone needs that one or two nights to do things that break the monotony of daily routine. What's the sense of earning that paycheck if all you're going to do with life is get up, work in some cube surrounded by pictures, eat some McNuggets, down a few shots/beers, stare at a TV or computer monitor for five hours, and sleep? Break the routine every day if necessary, even its an inane thing like turning on a faucet all day with your left hand instead of your right. Yesterday I pumped water out of a overflowing drain tile hole. Yeah hauling that water-filled shop vac to dump outside several times was a bitch, but at least it was doing something other then watching TV all night.

Not to mention it worked out the pipes to help take down BadBlood in an arm wrestling match December. I've been watching Over The Top and viewing plenty of inspirational videos on the internet. Better start doubling up on the cement mix protein shakes, you're going down!

** Author's disclaimer**

The above paragraph was written with dripping sarcasm, take it as such before leaving me limbless. Thanks.

My point is... don't be afraid to play/do/listen to something different and I guarantee you'll wake up each day a little easier and your poker game will thank you. Poker will be become more fun playing different games on occasion, instead of a infinite looping of suckout-suckingout-winning-losing. Hit up that .05/.10 Crazy Pineapple game on UB or 2-7 Triple Draw on GamesGrid. Or for me it would be playing limit hold em' *shudder*.

Man I'm all over the place today, must mean I'm in a good mood. Beware fishies... tonight, I'm bringing my D game.

Thanks for dropping by, now don't forget to tip your waitress and steal some mints and toothpicks on your way out.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Three Cheers for Stupidity!

Some famous and infamous folks dropped by to offer commentary on my poker playing last night...

Slater: Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky shit goin' on there. And it's green too. Man, I thought you were the shit in Geography class!

Thanks Slater, yeah I gave away several dollar bills last night but I still couldn't tell you the capitals of the Baltic nations. Hell, I couldn't even list all the countries.

John Madden: Boom! Did you see that play Al? I mean he just stood there and let the guy pummel him! Let me draw up the play on the TV chalkboard here [manages to draw all over the current live play]

Al Michaels: Could you wait until there's a break in the action... for the folks at home, Culpepper just threw his fourth interception under the line John drew at the 42 yard line

Talk about wrong strategies at the wrong tables. I aggressively called down a rock without the nuts, and passively value checked my good hands at an aggressive table. I'm a shoo-in for the All-Madden team for sure. Or at least a turkey leg at the Thanksgiving game.

Doc Holliday: [to Drizz] Why Drizz, you look like someone just walked over your grave.

No, I just managed to have a series of brain farts last night without any Beano to relieve the pressure.

Doc Holliday: [to Drizz, after shooting him in a duel] You're no daisy! You're no daisy at all. Poor soul, you were just too high strung.

Extremely high strung, I think I need some lavender incenses and some Yo-Yo Ma while sitting down to play online. About my only saving grace is my ability to view when I'm playing bad and stop.

Scotty Nguyen: Baby, your night was over before it started!

I don't know what the hint was... may it was locking up the nut low on my very first hand of the night and stacking off vs. a short stack... at a PLO table not PLO8. I got A23... oh wait there's no low in this game, THANKS FOR PLAYING! Sigh.

Maigrey: Are you ever going to stop staring at my chest for two seconds and listen to what I'm trying to teach you?

(looks up after being in a daze) wha.. what? Oh, hi! Open ended straight draws suck in PLO? Check. Be more aggressive pre-flop? Will do. Start watching Gilmore Girls? Eh, no.

Alex P. Keaton: All you need in life Drizz, is money. That and more intelligence then your average retarded Democrat if you want to succeed in poker.

Right now I have the comfortable bankroll but lack the SMRTs to consistantly make good decisions. I liked going all-in with several outs last night in PLO (not as great as odds as I thought, but it was nice to jump without the safety net). I disliked two bluff attempts versus known rocks while getting bet into when the board completely missed me. That cost me the fun I was having for the night.

Lindsay Lohan: I want you.

I'll be done in 15 seconds you won't feel a thing.

Chris Knight: First, you have to get back at Kent, it's a moral imperative.

I do need to pay off a bet, but get back at him? Naw. Actually... I do need to get back at him for that hand at the Excalibur. Thanks again man for the props last night. If this post sucks, well you inspired me to actually think ;)

Thanks for dropping by, go check out the link above concerning the Bloggers Freeroll at Stars. Its up to 600+ people as of last night. Has BG posted the early line for last longest among the poker bloggers yet?

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Green Bay Sucks!

Last night was more affirmation that the NFC North is indeed the red-headed stepchild of the NFL this year. How else could someone explain that an 0-4 team is only one game out of first? Farve will chuck TDs to Donald Driver all day (for my fantasy team of course) but they're still producing the same results as the Packers of the 80s led by Don "The Magic Man" Majkowski. Being a Vikes fan I'm delighted of Green Bay's misfortune and hope they continue to choke on the turpentine they swill before games. But, I'm also sad that the competition in the "black-and-blue" division has been reduced to Pop Warner youth league levels. 7-9? That's most likely going to be the "winning" record of the division leader and the only team that will stumble into the playoffs to be crushed by the Seachickens or the Giants (my picks for wild-card teams).


Las Vegas and the Crossing Jordan cross-over thing blissfully came to an end last night... I hope. Bring back Penn and Teller or Joe Rogan, but leave Jerry O'Connell and his tighty-whiteys in Ms. Uncle Jesse's bedroom.

More Nikki Cox please. The little cameos of "I'm going to __________ with Jake" is getting old. Get her and Molly Sims back into the picture.


Poker? Yeah I dinked around the lower limits last night and had FUN! Ms. Princess was holding court and bOObs for us male pigs at the micro-limit PLO tables. THG, Gamecock, GCox, and myself all took turns flinging pennies with the skill of an armless machete juggler. I'm not sure if I won or lost but I got lucky when my sOOOted aces managed to suckout on Maigrey's wrap draw but it didn't matter because I had fun, and that's what the intent was.

You can have fun but also learn a little about how to play these games. Folding, while frowned upon, is a good thing when you know you're beat, unless its to showoff that Omahammer that you bluffed with (the bluff-call is a VASTLY underrated poker play). These games can teach a subtle lesson of how to play in a loose game (you just need to dig beneath the smack talk). When the pot odds are giving you 8:1 odds to call you are correct to call with any four cards (two card games are meh, m'kay?).

Remember that most of the players will call you down with anything at these levels so its mildly prudent to keep that in mind while betting. But... if you do want to apply some fancy play go ahead and act like a rock for a while and when the flop pairs the board bet at it, you are more likely to pick up a couple of uncontested pots this way. Even penny ante players take notice of pot size bets on a scary board.

Uncontested is the key word, if you do get called by one of the eight people still in the hand you're probably beat. I have a hard time releasing hands once I go into aggressive mode, failing to take my foot off the gas when an opponent is telling that I'm beat. These tables are a great way to practice getting around this mindblock. Don't look at the denominations of the chips, look at how much of your stack you're throwing out there.

Thanks for dropping by, now here's the 1971 Sears catalog with commentary just for Daddy and Bobby Bracelet so they can enjoy those saucy 70s lingerie models.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Don't Cry

Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin's changin' inside you
And don't you know

- Don't Cry Guns N' Roses

I'm still trying to find the heaven above the world of sports handicaping but its kicking my junk like I stole baby Jesus from the nativity scene. Next week I'm imploying the Constanza method of sports betting, whoever I write down that's going to win, I'm betting the opposite. I believe you find great success noted on this method by other bloggers.


Vikings and Gophers.


Yes, you get lumped together today. Why? Could it be that you both decided run in the Indy 500 this weekend without tires, a driver, and a Lola Chassis? These garbage TDs at the end of the games are padding the complete domination both teams were dealt this weekend. Granted the Gophers have been playing decent ball and ran into the buzz saw of Penn State's decent run defense...

But my beloved Vikes, oh how the mighty have fallen. Your offense this year reminds me of a lifetime honor roll student who doesn't study when they get to college and assume everything will be just as easy (of which I would know NOTHING about of course). You can't tell me just one person could completely cause the Jenga block tower to fall? Prepare for more of the annoying "Randy Watch" type articles in the Star Trib. Each week that this offense adds to the fire that Moss made the offense, yet can do nothing to disprove the theory.

I have one solution. On the first play of every drive throw a long post pattern to anyone of your fine receivers. It doesn't matter if it get picked off or thrown into triple coverage, just wing it. Its the one play I haven't seen nearly enough of this year and needs to come back.


On the poker front, I played a little PLO8 over the weekend despite being at the cabin for the most part. The success wasn't there, but I'm going to do a little experiment over the next two weeks and re-evaluate my game.

No tourneys for the next two weeks. Tourneys for me have been a kick in the mental junk, playing for two/three/four hours with the money on the line based on one or two hands is not worth it at the present time. I need a new mentality to attack these things. My mindset with coin flips and losing higher PPs to lower PPs isn't right for tourneys.

All high achievers plan their work and work their plan, for they are keenly aware that "luck" is most often being prepared to take advantage of a situation.
-- Unknown

I don't know if I'll ever be a "high achiever" playing poker because its a hobby for me, but I'd like to be a good player. I need to get the mental side of the game back on track before I can move forward. More reading? I have Ray-Zee's split games book and Harrington's NLHE tourney book to finish at the moment. But how about a non-poker strategy book? I've read some good reviews on books that deal with the psychological aspect of poker, I suppose one more book to the poker library couldn't hurt.


Is there any better artery-clogging fast food burger then a Hardee's/Carl's Jr. 1/2 pound Frisco Burger? Remember we don't get In N' Out burgers up here near the Arctic circle.

But, what's with the attitude in handing me my drink that comes with my "combo" meal? The Napoleon Dynamite with a beer gut look-a-like wouldn't fork over the $.03 cup when I requested it because even though I paid $6.50 for the combo he forgot to give me the cup right away because the food was still being cooked. Appearently this genetic misfit doesn't understand that COMBO means a COMBOnation of fries, burger, AND A GLASS FOR SODA.

"I'm sure I gave you a glass sir, I NEVER forget to". Was his line when I went up to pick up my meal and Little Drizz's chicken strips with a cool little pop-up toy inside.

Do you really want to go there for that $.03 soda? Of course he had no problem in giving a cup to the hockey player toothed grandpa with the coffee stained "Old Fart" trucker cap on, when he cut thru the line to request one. I know I'm not racking up frequent burger points at this establishment like Archie Bunker here, but just GIVE ME MY DAMN CUP!

Nothing like added stress to the long car ride home from the cabin.

Thanks for dropping by, now stop your whining and go check out the slew of new posts up by the bloggers on the right.