Monday, July 31, 2006

Tiny Bubbles

Bobby, you and your Tiggers (spelled on purpose) can go straight to hell!

That is all. Oh, and Bonderman deserved to win yesterday. I’m an impartial observer of sports (except for the Vikings because they are like totally awesome) he threw a masterpiece at the Dome that got blown apart by one Chico’s Bail Bonds moment after another. The balk, which was like a guy going up to the 15 year old at McDonald’s with the “trainee” name tag and clip on tie latched backwards and throwing down a tantrum with the force of a Hulk Hogan Wrestlemania monologue about not receiving a napkin and straw with your Super-Sized Big Mac Extra Value Meal, was his fault but a minor infraction like that shouldn’t have been called. Had that been a game with the Royals versus the Pirates, I doubt they’d bother calling it.

For a two-time confirmed parent, an all-guys weekend feels like an all-day spa cleansing yet has left a dent in my liver the size of a Monster Frisco bacon burger at Hardees’/Carl Jr. It’s similar to the feeling of attending a WPBT live event in Vegas, except without the porn slappers and junk grabbers.

I still haven’t fully recovered from a weekend of polishing off more then the recommended daily allowance of spiced rum and imported beers. Yet, I feel as though the psyche has been cleared of any stress that has been lingering due to the newborn and her penchant for waking up at the single digit hours of the morning. There’s a new batch of cute baby pics taken by the wife over the weekend so beware that Kyra Vegas may invade this page later on this week.

Friday started off with a sweat-and-beer soaked round of golf at Bulrush golf course. There’s something to be said about the hospitality of most bars north of the metro area. The bartender (who doubled as the golf pro I’m guessing) managed to whip up for just seventeen bucks, some Blood Marys for the rest of the guys while I stuck with my requisite Cap’n Coke because me and tomato juice just don’t mix (get it, mix, mixed drink HAHAHAHAHA, shut up). Along with two mini coolers full of Miller Lite, we were off to hit $3.50 balls into the woods and pay for the pleasure of doing so. I managed to not suck enough to score under 100 (which isn’t bad for me) despite playing two holes on the back nine in eight over par (I played the other seven holes at one over, including a oh-my-god-it-might-go-in-for-a-hole-in-one-shot grrrrrrrrrrrrr).

After taking a little extra time to regain the ability to drive after the round, we made our way to the cabin, well the other car did as me and Burnsie got side-tracked at Grand Casino for some quick –EV penny slots. I don’t ask for much while playing these idiots boxes for the profoundly stupid, just give me the damn bonus game, and I could care less about losing the first bill or even a second. Yeah, I lost $100 chasing a bonus game… on a penny slot. Sadly, you have to pay for alcoholic drinks at the casino, so I drowned my economic flunky self in lemonade and Sprite (because of the cache of drinks in the car it seemed stupid to pay five bucks for a watered down beer).

Despite the raging heat, our group of five guys decided to sit outside at the cabin, and slowly work our way into the bottles and cans that we brought. Finally when the oppressive rays of the sun traveled over the trees for the night we settled down for some micro-NL hold em’. One whole dollar got you 1000 chips, rebuy as many times as you bust. I wish I could say I played well, but at the time the cards didn’t matter as much as being with the guys and not having to worry about whether the kids were fed or if we’d wake up the spouses. Hell, even the neighbors were gone, so the mosh pit of music like Primus, Metallica, Beck, and I think Bob Dylan (my memory got fuzzy at night) got played at max volumes. Many rebuys were made, more stories were told, like Drizz puking in five separate areas (side of a highway, convenience store, someone’s lawn, in the car, and finally my own bathroom) after contributing too much to a “beer-a-mid” at BJ’s wedding. I’m sure my parent’s were proud of their son at that moment.

Then Bubbles dropped in (I’d go for the punny “burst into the scene” but I’m not Cardplayer and this isn’t a like-you-were-there-moment).

A light was flashing in our faces somewhere north of midnight and a woman resembling Felicia Lee (but she was strangely smiling… I kid I kid!!) suddenly appeared from the dark path in front of the cabin. At first I thought I was going to reprimanded for overplaying top pair, but Bubbles sat down with our depleting group as a couple of the guys pleaded out to tiredness. She even tossed in a few buy-ins (remember one whole American dollar at stakes!!) losing a couple of bucks when her big slick ran into the weekend luckbox of BJ and his KTo made a straight on the river. She had stories about living in Germany, being divorced, possibly being a switch-hitter, and jazzercise class which seemed very interesting at three a.m. after an entire day of drinking and perspiring.

Then came the storm…

Which I’ll draft up tomorrow because frankly I’d like to get my giddy WSOP main event fanboi hat on and catch up with all the super bloggers out there risking their sanity for our enjoyment.

Thanks for dropping by, now if you want WSOP coverage and were not fortunate enough to nail down a Main Event seat yourself. Please do yourself a favor and check these guys out. You know you want to. (if there's any bloggers still playing or have reports I'll be more then happy to add them to the list please leave a comment)

Dr. Pauly's Tao of Poker
Pokerstars Blog with Otis, CJ, and Darwin... I mean Wil
Up For Poker (with CJ's continuous needling of me having to stay home) I need to start reading his pics post at home.
Ryan makes it to Day 2 WHOO WHOO!!!
Wicked Chops Poker (sorry guys, I suck)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Can I Get a Hell Yeah?

I know you’re not supposed to “hurry through a week” or as Loverboy puts it “Working For the Weekend”. But, the nightly comedy show of Drizz walking into walls, stepping on the cat, and trying to squeeze in another five minutes of sleep after feeding the baby at two a.m., tends to tire this lead actor. We’ve finally managed to trick the baby into sleeping through the evening by feeding her latter last night… then the boy howls something fierce and stands in the doorway of his bedroom soaked from torso to knee. Parenting is fun!

Why don’t kids pop out with a FDA approved warning label: May Cause Drowsiness and weird dreams involving that chick on Sprout TV with The Teletubbies (not the purple one of course). Side note: She just got canned for a short spoof film on virginity done seven years ago??? The morality police seem to be not just limited to our cause about online gambling. How soon until we start up the Salem witch trials and public flogging for adultery and blasphemy again?


There. I’m calm now after wiping the spittle from the corners of my mouth and I apologize for any eardrums that I may have rattled.

Speaking of rattled, I think the dealers in the DADI rebuy tourney last night got a workout on a couple of tables as I was regulated to railbird last night. Was there anyone who didn’t rebuy and managed to cash, that seemed like a steep hill to climb after seeing a multitude of cash pool inducing rebuys being made. It was definitely fun watching Wes and Iggy spam the rebuy button like they were playing Level 26 of Galaga.

Unfortunately, or fortunately for my stomach at least, we were at one of my favorite restaurants last night due to “being in the area” after picking up a new mattress for Wyatt’s new “big-boy” bed as he was suppose to graduate to a normal bed (last night’s flunking pee grade wasn’t encouraging to hand him over the diploma however).

Billy’s in Anoka was the setting for my groom’s dinner many years ago (ok, six years), a spot we used to hit up for a causal dinner or beers after a softball game or a date. The food is reasonably priced, the portions are big enough to sedate my expanding waistline, and its loud enough so if Kyra decides to express her displeasure verbally we don’t get fifty pairs of daggers shot immediately in our direction. The ½ broasted chicken dinner with salad (ranch dressing), whipped skin-on potatoes with gravy, and a John Holmes sized breadstick washed down with a tall Leinie’s Red made my tummy very happy. Plus the courteous and easy-on-the-eyes wait staff recognized the need to leave quickly as both munchkins reached their patience threshold, thus receiving a little extra on the tip.

Well done once again.

1.75 liter of Cap’n Morgan – Check
Poker chip set – Check
Golf Clubs – Check
Tee Times - Check
24 pack of Guinness – Check
Cigar – Need to pick up at the casino
GambOOOOling funds – Low, but they are there
Shitty grin for three days with no kids or spouses and doing nothing but golfing, playing cards, and drinking – Check

My anticipation of this guys’ only weekend is rivaled only by the upcoming Bash at the Boathouse. Granted the heat outside is going to be set somewhere between Sahara and Gobi, the cabin does have some air conditioning and plenty of liquids will be consumed to prevent nasty things like dehydration and soberness. It’s not the WSOP/Vegas trip like I had planned at the beginning of the year, but being with my long time friends will more then make up for it.

Thanks for dropping by, now what in the name of Jason Bartlett got into the Twins? They went from being as exciting as a nursing home scrabble tournament to the champagne room at Olympic Gardens. And Bobby Bracelet, your team is next. You game for $10 on the series? That’s transferable to “Drizztdj” at Stars or Full Tilt. Just have your money ready.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Someone Hand Me a Happy Face

Because I'm grumpy this morning due to some inspired futility on my part playing softball last night.

I'll leave you Star Wars fans with a fan video this morning (it may be old, definitely worth a laugh or two).

Edit: Found on Tom Bayes' site... No more yummy Euro freerolls (or the BBJ that I snagged a couple of months ago).

This is getting sad and makes me want to kick a kitten or something.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Analyze This

My mind is a weird place.

I’m content, yet I still have dreams I’d like to achieve.

I have achieved, yet feel I have failed.

I’m happy, yet want things out of my reach.

Should I break out into song yet? I don’t think you’d want that, my singing is comparable to the sound of a dog after fighting a porcupine.

Wants and needs, needs and wants, feeling underprivileged yet having everything you need to live a good life. A strong, healthy family, solidified by the strong healthy lungs of my daughter who has been waking up my wife at 2am, thus making conversations with my better half short and to the point lately. I guess you learn as time goes on when to let arguments go, and when to stand your ground.

I cannot ask for more, nor expect less. I wanted a family and I’ll have that for an unforeseeable time in the future. I’ll enjoy the diaper changing, the punishments after Wyatt gets a little too rough with his toys, and time spent with the wife on a softball diamond or on the couch taking in a Twins game with Bert Blylevin (circle me Bert!!) and Dick Bremer. Sure there are things that come up causing snap reactions and words that are quelled later on when the temperature in the room returns to normal. But people get hung up on those moments, failing to let go of the time their spouse or kid does something “wrong” causing some little strife that really didn’t matter in the big picture.

I’m still overcoming my overly-analytical mind. Whether it’s debating a 3-bet or what my wife’s tone of voice means, I have always tried too hard to categorize EVERY message being conveyed. It is the sole reason why my relationships have failed in the past and a good reason why I struggle with daily nuisances despite the cheery, cheeky, happy, happy, joy, joy outlook on life that I have.

The only reason I haven’t imploded from the weight of all these thoughts can be found through scribbling here. It’s a place I can unload my mind, dark or humorous, dirty or clean, stupid or semi-intelligent. The dry erase board of the internet helps purge any clogged thoughts I have rambling in my head and allows me to “move on with the day”. I hated English classes in junior high, senior high, and college. I avoided those classes because learning proper sentence structure and breaking down Shakespearian verses wasn’t exactly a high priority for someone who’d rather take two hours to solve an inane calculus problem.

How I did get here?

Why am I still here?

Who the hell came up with the wonderful combination of putting breading on pork chops?

See, I can’t get away from asking questions. I could probably go on for hours, and eventually get to trying to break down the Keaton’s family problems on Family Ties. Yo Mallory!

A fine mess of letters and words that opened a door to a group of friends that I wouldn’t have met otherwise. I wouldn’t trade you guys for Alfonso Soriano or even a final table at the WSOP. You’re worth more then that. Because through your postings I’ve learned that life isn’t really that bad, and people go through similar daily struggles that I do, even if it means to digest a couple of keno crayons in the process.

Thanks for dropping by, now mo’ pimpin and hopefully I get it right this time (sorry Dan and the Pokerblog crew, I plead stupidity on my part!!!!).

Pokerworks with the grand dame of dealin’ Linda Geenen, Michael Craig, CC from Quest of a Closet Poker Player, and tilted kilt wearing, Excal wheel prop bet winning Falstaff make up yet another excellent blogging team covering the WSOP. If you can’t be there like a certain G-Vegas crew going this week, make sure you’re keeping up through Ted Steven’s tubes like I am.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Do You Hear What I Hear?

One of the advantages of playing poker is the ability to make an ass of yourself and still win. Sure there are books, forums, podcasts, aircasts, arms-in-a-cast, and good old fashion railbirding virtually and live. But, who needs all that?!?! Hell, if you watched ESPN Classic WSOP marathon all weekend you’d know all there is to know about this silly game.

Most players have a little voice in the back of their head when they are about to make a bad play at the table. This voice is called “having instincts” and can be a great addition to your game if you listen to it. Sure you’ve felt the buzzing before, it feels like a little bit of wax build up in your ear, a mosquito bite, or a hair that tumbled out of place. Away from the felt, you may remember going to the bar in your extremely stylish beige overcoat (it was winter, in my defense) and walking inside to indulge on the 2-for-1 specials as quickly as possible because hey its free booze!

After the specials stopped you may have slowed down the drinking a bit because that 86’ multi-colored Nova with the banging ghetto sound system isn’t going to get home George Jetson push-button style. But wait, is that a female I see? She’s digging your funky ash-white dance moves straight out of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo to all the hott 90’s dance music playing. She strolls up to your ear and… wants to put what, where?

Oh my.

There’s a buzzing going off in your head louder then your stupid morning radio zoo crew wake up call. No, its not the 16 Jag bombs that you wow’d your friends showing your stupidity as an alcohol dumpster. It’s the nagging of your internal defense about going home with this female as she’s a friend of the girl you’ve been trying to go out with for awhile.

Maybe I shouldn’t… I mean who likes having sex anyway, especially a horny just-out-of college kid with the sex appeal of a mis-shapened Gnu or Otis eating two keno crayons (which is gold, please go check out the video). But, you do it anyway and later on you can remiss about the experience and chalk it up to “gaining experience”.

But does gaining experience get you an iPod?

I gave it a good run yesterday in the iPod Bloggerpod give away despite cards that would make a collective studio audience sigh and groan for the taping of the show. And with the exception of the last hand, I played aggressively and was rewarded for the aggression even winning a coin flip and a 60-40! My 10th place finish was disappointing due to not listening to the buzzing of my instincts and calling off the rest of my chips into a made monster.

And unlike that night at the bar many years ago, I didn’t get a happy ending this time. I even tried to hit up the wife for sympathy and got peck on the forehead like I needed some chicken soup and a coloring-by-the-numbers book before going to bed. I think spouses are harder to seduce then random bar chick, I’d be willing to bet if you’d go $300K in debt for that leggy blonde on the perched bar stool, she’d probably say “put it where ever you want” in appreciation. With the spouse you’re just hoping she doesn’t kick your ass and expect you do rub her feet with the latest Bath and Body Works soothing lotion (yes this includes my infamous peppermint scented lotion, for the love of all that is unholy, don’t try that at home while reading the latest issue of FHM with Amanda Beard, just take my word for it that it stings and makes you want to cry).

Not all was lost on the weekend, as I made a purchase of poker trophy number three (I didn't have my camera so here's a generic picture).

Getting around at the cabin will be much easier now, not to mention just in time for the guys’ weekend up there. Ah, yes a whole weekend of golf, cards, golf, stories about picking up women in bars, drinking, golf, cards, and some fun at the annual casino night that the resort throws.

All games are a quarter, blackjack, roulette, modified craps, pick-a-number (from dice, not National Lampoon style). Drink as much as you can bring, and having fun is the only rule. Its micro stakes but you’re not there for the money, it’s an excellent way to blow off some steam and just enjoy the company while gambling on a roll of quarters for an entire night. I’ve gone three times and have never been disappointed with the low-rollin’ fun. Hey, there’s even free potato chips!

Thanks for dropping by, now please check out Otis’ Pokerstars blog so he doesn’t have to resort to downing the other 63 colors of crayons. The author of the video of course needs no props but I’ll pimp Dr. Pauly’s gonzo reporting as once again he shines a fresh perspective on the WSOP bettering his excellent coverage of last year, that and he's always a sucker for taking losing prop bets on the Yankees.

And last but not least these lovely ladies have traveled to the dark side to freshen up Party Poker’s blog with the infamous Dan M. and represent Party Poker’s only English speaking employees!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Waiting For Things Nets Results

I definitely found another leak in my game while puttering around on two different $2/$4 limit O8 tables last night. It didn’t involve paying someone off (even though I was correct to think he had junk, except his junk beat my junk, thus making my junk, junky). It involved variance within the same session. Losing somewhere between 17-20BBs within 15 minutes at the start of the session had my whine-o-meter cranked up to “IHATETHISFUCKINGAME” and even the Twinkies dominating the limp wristed Devil Rays didn’t do much to quell my crimson eyed view of those two squares of virtual poker.

Maybe I should watch more porn while playing. Nothing spells relief like l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s-i-n-a-t-h-r-e-e-w-a-y.

Did you see that Rondell White hit the ball out of the infield not once but twice in the same game? With the help of the Metrodome’s giant fans the balls even carried over the left field fence! I can taste victory over Speaker’s AAA ball club already despite giving up a three game spread as a handicap (Zito needs to get slowed down, he's showing some good stuff lately).

Since the All-Star Break:
Oakland: 5-2
Twins: 6-1

Poker, porn, baseball, not sure how I managed to bounce from one subject to the other but my mind is a terrible thing to try to understand and probably the reason why my wife just nods in agreement to most things I say with a soft pat on the back of the head.

I had time last night to get in a lengthier session then usual when the wife gave the green light for pokery goodness (yes Speaker I’m still 0 for 6 months). This gave me time to remain motivated not to tilt after losing so much to start. No loose calls, always have a reason to invest in the pot. Even if it took my wife’s tilted head to the side “you’re a dork” look, saying the previous sentence outloud or saying the reason why I was calling/raising helps me stay focused. Eventually my cards hit, and people folded to my semi-bluffs after showing down a couple of strong hands as I turned a 20BB+ loss into a 8BB gain by the time the Twins players were leaving the dome for their million dollar homes in Edina or on Lake Minnetonka. Or maybe they hit up Déjà vu afterwards. I know I would, free admission with a game ticket!

It feels good to win more often then lose again. I might be kicking myself square in the nads for making such a statement but when you watch nearly 60% of your bankroll dribble like juice from a slow cooked turkey down thru the wire rack into the pan for nearly five months it tests your fortitude to keep playing this masochistic card game.

No, I still can’t win races. But, winning while playing the Mookie last night wasn’t really on my mind. I did not “play stupid” nor make any rash moves that were not thought out. Rather enjoyed my time with some great friends over Ted Steven’s tubes making note not to shove too many poker chips all at once, or his internets might get delayed. I did manage a strong showing by placing one off the bubble in 11th after getting all of my chips in on a race hoping to see a lower pocket pair then eights. Being beat on the river meant nothing since the money went in pre-flop. Congrats again to Mookie for a fun time, and I’ll continue to try to sign up when Wyatt decides that being read Chugger Locomotive five times on Wednesdays is sufficient.

Did anyone see Richard playing last night on the PPT Foxwoods? Nice showing Quiet Lion!!! He even knocked out Barry “I can’t get my website to work” Shulman when he had the correct odds to call with his 75o, well done!

Thanks for dropping by, now if you need a couple of migraine pills after reading this slop I only have two left before I head up to the cabin this weekend.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

For Peyton Silent Auction Deux!

(To see the pictures of the auctioned items please visit Bobby's website or

That Bobby Bracelet is quite the guy. He's gone and set up a whole bunch of new items to be auctioned. It won't stop there, either. Look for additions like 2 tickets to Howard and Suzie Lederer's WSOP party, a signed cowboy hat by Kenna James, Matt Savage running your home game, Greg Raymer signed a fossilfor some lucky bidder, and even more!

Oh yeah, there will be a poker table auctioned off thanks to Bluff Magazine. It will be signed by every pro that Gavin, Spaceman, and Bluff staff can muster. It'll also be signed by the brand spanking new WSOP Main Event Champion. Then of course, Bobby Bracelet will be auctioning that off to one lucky bastard. Better bring your checkbook for that one though, cause it'll go for over 10k.

Here is a rundown of the stuff you will soon find on Ebay and ready for your bids. And by "soon" I mean later today, July 19th.

Two tickets to the Full Tilt Poker Gala Event at the WSOP! There are two tickets available, each one is allowed to bring a guest. This is up alreadyand will end in 5 days because the event is July 26th. It's at Pure night club in Caesar's. Check it out, make a bid, meet and marry a celebrity.


One lucky sob and a guest have a chance to attend Howard and Suzie Lederer's (and Steve Zolotow's) 4th Annual WSOB and Karaoke Championship. Thursday July 27th, from 6pm - ??? at a restaurant off the strip. Many of the top pros will be there, and you never know, possibly a celebrity or two. I can't think of much that would be more entertaining than seeing somebody like Phil Hellmuth belting out Endless love.

Gavin Smith, poker professional and all around great guy, has the tickets and we will get the winning bidder in touch with him to ensure the tickets are in your hand in time. (Note: this does not mean to imply that Phil Hellmuth will be there.) (Also: WSOB apparently stands for World Series of Beer. NICE!)

Steve Zolotow has donated a night out at one of his favorite hangouts, a place called Nice Guy Eddie's in New York. Dinner for two, drinks, and whatever sort of poker conversation you'd like to have. Ask questions, listen to stories, get some tips and pointers, or just shoot the breeze. He's a great guy that truly enjoys conversations on a variety of topics.

Robert Mizrachi has offered a 2 Hour Lesson. This will be by phone unless bysome chance you can work out a time and place that works for him. With tourneys and travel, chances are you'll have to settle for a phone lesson, but you never know. Doesn't hurt to ask.

Annie Duke sent two signed copies of her book along with 3 DVD's. They were split up into two packages. The first is the hardcover edition with the advanced secrets DVD, while the other is the paperback version with two DVD's, one for beginners andone for women.

Mike Krzyzewski signed a Duke hat. Bobby Bracelet tells me it has taken every ounce of his will not to stomp it into oblivion before setting it on fire. If you're a fan, it's a great Nike fitted hat. If you aren't, buy it for charity and do exactly as Bobby would do in hopes it will work like voodoo on Duke's chances next season.

There is another Card Player package like last time, only this time we have the ability to also add a one year subscription to Card Player Magazine.

There is another Phil Hellmuth DVD package similar to last time, though it will also be joined by a one year subscription to Card Player Magazine.Go To For Peyton and keep in eye on these items.

Should be up today.

Gambling In My Bathrobe

I saw that I missed the $5,000 Full Tilt freeroll from the fantasy league for placing in the top 500 of the WSOP H.O.R.S.E. tourney. Color me stupid. Free money tossed away, like me sitting at a NLHE live table while two fisting Cap’n Cokes and wondering why no one has yelled PAI GOW in the last 10 minutes.

Did I mention I'm beating the bloggers? Meow.

I couldn’t play anyway because of softball leagues on Monday and Tuesday and getting home between 11pm-midnight doesn’t help. But… I just checked the standings and if I can hold on to my current position in the top 100 there’s a freeroll for a 2007 ME WSOP seat! That’s far better then trying to battle 3000+ in other qualifiers that I have no time for, but I’d make time for this one.

Tonight I’m looking to hit up the virtual felt for the Mookie tourney and maybe slink over to an older site which I’ve found a juicy PLO8 game that is tempting me to dump some more monies into so I’m properly bankrolled there. Sadly the site only has $200 and $400 tables, while the buy-in doesn’t bother me too much (its what I’m bankrolled for), having only 1 ½ buy-ins there doesn’t leave much room for error and could easily cause me to play timidly. Then again, after playing there again for the past two weeks it seems that the skill level has not crested above the Mendoza line.

Or did I get lucky and find a couple of juicy tables?

People talk about table selection and hopping from table to table in search for “the perfect game”. Unfortunately due to time constraints and lack of tracking software (which wouldn’t do me much good since I don’t play enough) I’m forced to pick whatever tables become available. This could mean I’ve been playing on more difficult tables then I need to, and not seeking out easier places to play. But does playing against weak competition all the time improve your game?

Take the G-Vegas and Murderer’s Row home games. They get together a tough crowd of good (except G-Rob) poker players and get to match wits and trade thoughts on their game. Me? My last live tourney was with my uncles and family in which I got yelled at for laying down third pair on a four flush, four straight board in Hold Em’ with four people still in the pot. Mixed games? Nope, all hold em, all the time, even my card-savvy friends won’t touch Omaha or Razz.

Even when I get the rare outing to Canterbury, there’s only one O8 table running with half of the table sporting card club swag from four years ago. Sure, the regulars COULD be bad players but I’m certain they’re not a bunch of fish like you see playing the lower limit LO8 tables on just about any poker site. What I usually end up doing is jumping into a limit hold em’ table which I have an advantage only that I can read the card rankings and generally don’t drool on myself too much.

The question is: Are tougher games more +EV in the long run then a softer game even it means losing presently?

Obviously, if you do nothing but play games that are over your head in terms of competition you’ll go down faster then Tara Reid after a bottle of Cristal in a Vegas dance club. Yes, soft games are the yellow brick on road to the Oz of a greater bankroll. But, what will the wizard behind the curtain tell you once you have a sufficient bankroll and start playing in games that you don’t have a significant edge and have to play against players who *gasp* have read a poker book, read similar forums like 2+2, or once watched Celebrity Poker Showdown!

If you have been playing in tougher games all along, then the only shock you should have is the amount of chips going into the pot. You should be used to being bluffed off pots by a check-raise on a draw happy board. Real pressure on every street is more prevalent rather then being slogged to death by a bunch of passive calling stations who don’t care if they lose five bucks (its all relative of course). Your opponents probably have notes on you as you have made on them, so mixing up your once profitable sit-and-wait game is essential to becoming profitable again.

I’ll leave the debate up to you guys as how you become a better overall player because larger bankroll does not equate to a more skilled player, but a broke player is banished to the play chip games with my kids.

Thanks for dropping by, now if for some reason you haven’t watched the video from the Daily Show about the internets please visit Wicked Chops Poker (after viewing the eye candy and WSOP updates of course) or Bill Rini also has it up. I’ve watched it at least twice day and it has made me a more frequent viewer of Jon Stewart’s show as well as less confident about the Senate vote on the online gambling bill.

Tubes?!?!?! Bathrobes?!?!?!? These people decide on laws being passed? Oy.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Demolition Derby

I looked at the pictures taken from the Sherburne County Fair's Demo Derby and the poor lighting kinda fubar'd most of the pics. Wish I'd gotten a couple of pictures of the crowd, very diverse group of human beings. I saw one lady who had some kind of huge tattoo running on, between, and below her tits while revealing just about the whole thing through some bikini top. Are you supposed to look? Because she was attractive in a biker chick/Brittney Spears trailer trashy sort of way. I looked anyways and went off to grab a pork chop and chocolate shake.


Here's a couple that turned out.

#500 is my brother's car which stalled during the first race due to switching batteries just prior to the race and finding out it was the battery actually died after two hits. He later came back with a new battery in the consolation heat to win ($35) and move on to the "feature".

Sadly the car decided to take an early exit to Pop's Garage in the sky as it ceased to turn over and got sold for scrap metal and parts before mixing it up in the feature for the big bucks.

Wyatt attempting to eat his Sno-Cone with his shirt. Nice job having him wear a white shirt knowing he'd eat some messy food at the fair. Yes, my lack of fashion and common sense is getting passed on to the next generation, fear the demise of GQ now.

And here's the essential cute kid pic of the new spawn for the ladies.


Monday, July 17, 2006

Family Guy

The days before big words like marriage and responsibility. These are memories most people reflect upon in relief when TPS reports get stacked too high in their cubical or the kids decide to throw a mutiny against the oppression of having to go to bed without watching The Incredibles for the third time.

For me, those days were spent playing softball and volleyball at sport bars. I played on leagues almost every night of the week, and of course we were sponsored by various institutions which served alcohol beverages. These halls of lower learning would gladly hand over cold beer and hot wings on the cheap as long as we overtiped the attractive sport themed waitresses before leaving near midnight. There were no worries of getting babysitters, no monetary obligations to real estate, and no care about the next day since most of our jobs were nothing but stacking some boxes or stacking papers in file cabinet.

The good old days. Partying with friends then playing euchre till the sun rose up in time for that first Sausage McMuffin, hash browns, and cinnamon danish at McDonald’s.

But, as time saunters on I began to realize I could use some direction in life and there was a woman that put up with my antics enough to settle down to the quiet life of marriage. Quiet like a tween slumber party watching SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!! I love the family life, its fits me and most of the time I fit it. I’m not a globe-trotter, I don’t feel the need to roam, and much like my poker game, I am a rock.

This weekend I got a small taste of my past as I was invited to play a softball tourney while the wife went up to our cabin with a gaggle of her friends to swap bad husband stories and do that scrapbooking thing which I consider the Avon of the 00’s. You can make a decent living pawning off fifteen dollar sheets of paper and stickers to these ladies. I know because I made the mistake of asking my wife how much the page displaying part of our trip to Charleston cost. On the other hand at least she doesn’t gamble for a hobby, which would be terrible! Imagine the horrors of someone betting money on cards that represents a week’s pay. I don’t think I could handle such thoughts!

100 degree heat, dew point hitting “please fuckin kill me”, 20+ mph winds, and athletic competition for three hours. It was fun; I had a blast playing softball again without worries about the kids or what time I got in. Despite being the team with the oldest median age, we swept our three games on Saturday in a semi-convincing way to think some hardware or maybe a bar tab would be coming our way. Not to mention the ladies tourney being played simultaneously next to ours which provided some visual entertainment, since it was hot out and some of them wanted the improve on their tans their uniforms were tight-ish?

I didn’t look honey… much.

While back at home as the high of Saturday wound down, I decided to keep in the spirit(s) for the remainder of the night, totally disregarding the 8am starting time on Sunday. A fun night for sure as I played some penny poker with bloggers, probably recited too many 80s glam bands songs from the Arena Rock blaring in the house, and managed to win a token on Full Tilt (that’s bonus code Drizz99 that all three of my readers have used) with one of my favorite criminal bloggers and Suckout Specialist Speaker (can't complaining losing to 99 however). I even managed to go deep in a few MTTs, cashing in one and 50 away from a seat for yesterday’s Stars 150 seat WSOP bonanza (~700 person rebuy, 18 got seats).

Despite the aches and old man pains this morning, it’s refreshing to have a day once in a while to plunge into stupidity. Much like many bloggers did when they descended upon the city of neon sin last weekend. Liver still not talking to you?

Tomorrow, I’ll try post some demo derby pics that I attended last night, as I’ve found out there are people who are unfamiliar with this NASCAR-esque past time of smashing up old cars to the amusement of shirtless farmer tanned, Busch Light-beer-belly hanging over his torn Wranglers with blurry tattoos of blurred mystical figures on his man-tits.

Thanks for dropping by, now I have a question ethical/pokery question for people who a bit too nice at the tables sometimes (and I know I was wrong in the end).

Say you’re playing an H.O.R.S.E. SnG because sometimes you consider yourself a decent mixed games player and you figure the game to be +EV. You get down to four players and one of them has gotten there despite disregarding the name of any of the games as that are spelt right in the middle of the table (great improvement Full Tilt team!!!).

You see this aberration to poker cap four different streets in Razz with a board of xx/AAQQ/x and after 6th street attempt to quell the bleeding a little by reminding him which game we’re playing. At the time I felt bad for this guy as for some reason his Aces full of queens didn’t hold up and he ended up bubbling. I know after I knocked some sense into myself that I should have kept my mouth shut till the end of hand.

The question is: Would you bother to help the guy after the hand? I know there’s a “don’t educate the player” type code at the tables, but this wasn’t a cash game and it felt like being told the winning lottery numbers before the drawing.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Having Fun

Dr. Pepper + Cap'n Morgan + 6 hours of softball with no kids and Arena Rock blaring because its fun means nothing.

Except pure bliss and relaxation that I've been missing.

Thanks to the wife for this weekend, I needed it. Now back to Bang Tango with "Don't Stop Now"!

Me > Speaker + EZ


Thursday, July 13, 2006

My Only Win

This is where I started.

Its the only reason I have a bankroll currently.

You can also blame those 213 players for subjecting you to read my sad poker stories mixed in with a hint of being a proud daddy.

Since that MTT win two years ago, I have yet to win another. I know that I’m not much of a tournament player nor to do I put on rose-colored glasses while playing to think that since that win I’ve read a few books, blogs, and forums that I hold an advantage over some WPT-fanboi that’s wearing sunglasses while check-raising me with air. Unfortunately, there is a smoggy sense of failure that sticks in the back of my mind whenever I play. I’m not saying I change anything by becoming weak/tight or frightful that my good hand will get cracked.

“Oh, you just didn’t get lucky”

“Yes, I lost another coin flip at the wrong time”

“I had to take care of my kid”

"My boxers were on backwards"


On and on with a bunch of stupid statements that are meaningless whinny drivel better left for some post in the 2 + 2 forum bad beat section. I’ve batted the idea of playing strickly cash games versus tournaments around like a tetherball. Round the pole one way, and swinging back violently, whooshing the top of my closely cut hair. Is there a way over come this feeling of inevitability? Should I take the blue pill and forget about the journey I’ve taken since that victorious morning when I won some insignificant amount against some of the worst players on the internet?

Is it that I’m just not playing enough to overcome the variance? Totally possible. Given the fact that yesterday I got home from work and immediately passed out on the couch watching Sprout until Wyatt decided to wake me up for dinner in a not-so-polite manner (swatting me in the *ahem* midsection while missing my stomach). Also, he quite hasn’t grasped the concept of an indoor/outdoor voice yet.

And little Kyra who sleeps like the angel she is at my mom’s house but loves to hear her own voice between 2am and 3am while her parents are trying to sleep in the adjacent room gets a nod for helping go into a coma at 4:30 in the afternoon. Mix in some softball and a need to go outside to do some yard work and there’s not much time to plunk down a few bucks and a few hours for a tourney. I know I mentioned I would try to qualify for the WSOP this year as its still a dream of mine to throw away money like its grass clippings.

The only qualifers I entered were the blogger tourneys. Not exactly the greatest field of +EV to wage a shot at a free trip to the Rio.

I guess these are journeys poker players all take. The extended streaks of past wins and losses build up immunity to current triumphs and red marks spewed across your pokertracker or ledger. Thank goodness I have a totally gay online diary to rant on!

This weekend I agreed to lend my slender frame to the gods of softball. I haven’t play in one tourney all year, and I pick the weekend its supposed to hit 100+ degrees to pitch on Saturday and Sunday (at Diamonds in Ramsey if anyone is in the area, I’ll be on a rag-tag team wearing orange and a lot of sweat). Just like in tournament poker, I seem to have impeccable timing!

But, with the wife and kids away, Drizz shall be able to hit up some poker at night if I don’t use my face to stop a 100 m.p.h. batted ball and end up at North Memorial while they try to pick my teeth out of the back of my throat.

See you on the girly chat boxes this weekend.

Thanks for the dropping by, now go check out Pokerwire for up to the nano-second chip count updates from the WSOP.

EDIT: Paul Phillips rules... again. How can you not like the guy?!?! SoAMFP!!!!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Doughnuts Are Good For the Soul

I brought some doughnuts into work today.

That is all.

You may commence drooling now.

Can I get one of those auto-warning Windows pop up when I decide to make a bone-headed play at a pot?

That would rock.

And why when I did an image search for Krispy Kreme the first pic is some topless chick sliding her fingers under her panties. Is there something about the production of these yummy doughnuts I'm not aware of?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Just Say No To Karaoke

I'm happy for Liriano making the All-Star team, the spot had to pass through two other (well-deserved) players for him to get the nod but he's rightfully on the team.


Phil Hellmuth Poker Tip Of The Day:

Secret #6: Get the proper rest

My softball team managed two quick victories last night (and I wasn’t much help only going five for nine on the night). After turning down an invite to karaoke (I don’t sing, but I’m happy to make fun of your beautiful nails-on-chalkboard remix of “We’ve Only Just Begun”) at a local sport bar with a DJ named “Sexy Chocolate” (you make your own visual picture here). Instead, I was going to hit up a little online poker because it’s the cool thing to do as all the media outlets would agree.

At least the home run derby on ESPN didn’t cost anything, and I’m sure Sexy Chocolate would have had “1000 Points of Hate” all ready for me to rock my bad ass off too.

Sorry, I don’t “rock out”, I don’t dance, but if you get me drunk I might do the electric slide for your amusement. Its Electric!

Back to this poker thing…

Bubbled in a peep sex tourney (yes, it was a coin flip and no I still can’t win them, why is this not covered in Harrington’s books?!?!) then dropping a couple buy ins at a micro NLHE table while having fun with Bloody P. I’m still experimenting with a LAG style in the lower limits of NLHE and it’s surprisingly effective. Now if I could work on applying the brakes when necessary, hell I might become a break-even player!

Or am I wasting time by not taking my shots?

When I’m short on time I tend to play a SnG or two and some lower limit NLHE cash games which seems like a small tear in the bottom of a bag of cat food that’s slowly leaking pellets thru the rip. Not to say I’m not profitable playing SnGs or the micro limit games, but I am spending time playing games that will not have a significant impact on my bankroll.

I think I just confused myself which wouldn’t be the first time.

Yes, I’d like to advance thru the limits but you can’t do that without taking shots. Currently a 63 day old child enjoys getting her father up at different hours of the morning because its fun and empowering to weld this +5 Staff of Tears and beat me over the head with it at two or three in the morning. Mix in a toddler who’s running a fever and you’ve have priorities firmly in place elsewhere. I know I’m not the only parent who plays poker semi-seriously, and I’m definitely not the only parent who has kids that are/have been sick, but how do you make time pursuing something that requires time to become profitable?

Do I cash out my frequent player points and go dark till such a time that I can devote X amount of hours every day to yelling at the laptop to stop turning over virtual coin flips in favor of my opponents? Or can I continue to get by with an hour here, a nap-time there and getting more rest as suggested by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. When I started to play it was my intent to continue climbing up limits as the bankroll grew without taking the thrown cups of fruit, wife’s ice glares, or even yard work into consideration. After almost two years of playing “serious” poker I can see now that any hobby/pursuit should include the previously mentioned spots of life because that’s who I am.

I am not single, I have kids, and I do too many things outside of poker that I cannot devote the time to blow thru the limits and tournament fields as I’ve read on other blogs and journals. I made the mistake once of neglecting life while playing Dark Age of Camelot, a very dark time that I don’t wish to repeat. So, I might not get to realize my dream of playing in the WSOP till next year, or the year after. Maybe my slow growth thru the poker ranks is a sign that I should take up a new hobby like competitive stamp collecting, or perhaps I’m doing this correctly and not throwing my hardly earned bankroll into someone elses coffers when there’s little chance of me being a better player.

Have I failed because I’m not playing the $5/$10 or $10/$20 O8 games as I mapped out at the beginning of the year? Did I fail because I’m not lining Harrah’s pockets with $1,000 - $2,000 for the buy-in of a WSOP event this year?

It feels like a failure, but if you can’t get thru losing you’ll never become much of anything in poker or in life. I guess I just talked myself into trudging onward thru the mud and lost coin flips.

Thanks for dropping by, now I don’t know the whole story despite reading the whole story at the Star Trib yesterday, but there was a 17 year old who signed up for the National Guards with the intentions of cashing in those bonuses and free education for his two weekends a month and two weeks a year (which obviously weighs a greater enrollment responsibility due to the conflict in Iraq).

But *gasp* people in the military are directive and do things like “shout orders” and “expect you to obey” and “do physical things”. So when its time for basic training to start he wants out.

Instead of attempting to file the proper documents he gets a cool picture of himself on the front page of the newspaper and a sob story explaining that his parents couldn’t read the military contract because they don’t speak enough English (they are legal immigrants from El Salvador) despite the fact that he egged them on to sign it.

I may sound a little harsh, but it’s a life changing decision to enter the military and not something to be taken so lightly.

My question is: What the heck did you think you were going to do in the military, play Madden 2006 on your PSP all day in the barracks? And why didn’t you read the contract to your parents?

Seems like a cop-out to say “I didn’t know”, which is fine but he was advised on how to terminate the contract without wasting a reporter’s ink.

Monday, July 10, 2006

I Am A Grinder, I Am A Machine

But not that well bankrolled, nor am I good at poker, and I don't have a cool hat either.

Somehow I'll manage to live.

Back from your trip? How was the attempt to keep up with StB and Al? Hungover or currently getting a new liver before leaving McCarran airport?


Lucky bastards.

I’ll be there in December barring some fantastically stupid poker flame out while grinding away (or life getting in the way again), I’ll be knocking back Cap’n Cokes with a blinding pace at Mandalay Bay while betting on horses that can barely spell f-i-n-i-s-h (are you listening Mr. Otis????). Judging by the pics from Pauly, another great blogger get-together went off sans this whining pixie stick. And you let some other pixie stick win it all, grats to F-Train!!!!!

And this time, if you see me playing penny slots at three a.m., please direct my not-so-sober ass to the card room, a strip club, or my bed. The orgy of blinking cartoon characters and cartoonish sized breasts on the waitresses and hookers keeps me up way too long while visiting sin city and I end up a mumbling idiot by day three. And that’s no way to enjoy the company of all you folks, especially if you’re trying to meet everyone for the first time.


Due to some sage advice, I’ve reverted back a level in play for a little while to get my fish gills pointed in the right direction again. Want to see how serious you are about the game, and not about results? Play for stakes four to ten times less then usual and if you still hear yourself deducing your opponent’s hand when faced with a big river re-raise and/or silently cursing when that (put # of outs here) hit for that future donator, you’re stepping in the right direction.

When looking back at the board’s result that didn’t favor you, its ok to have a snap reaction of “there’s my great luck shinning through like a beacon of putrid moth riddled lighthouse light”. Its how you recover from the “beat” that marks how you can/will progress as a player. If your personality does not allow you to be totally numb to the cards coming out, then work on bringing down your recovery time from losing that hand you were a favorite to win at. Personally, I have lost much more then I should have because I allowed my emotions to get in the way of sound poker play after a so-called “beat”. After getting (put wonderfully beautiful, stupendiously awesome pre-flop hand here) cracked by some trash hand that had no business in the hand after the money went in (big difference between putting money in when you’re a favorite and the hand values pre-flop and if you don’t know that, go back to poker 101) you should be able to make the same decisions as you did on hand one of your session.

Ok, that’s my monthly quota of bad poker advice, I’ll leave you to scourge the rest of the internets for tips on how to lose but look good while doing it.


If you didn’t see Zidane’s headbutt from the World Cup yesterday, you’re missing out on a metaphor why shootouts are no way to end such a match. Can you really conclude four years of qualifiers/training/injuries/hot Brazilian chicks in dental floss thin bikinis with the equivalent of a basketball free throw? Play it out, let the athletes conditioning and temperament determine a winner, not the ability to guess which way the goalie is going to jump. There’s more excitement in reaching into an bag of food from an Arby’s drive thru and finding out you got extra Arby Sauce then watching grown men/a country cry because one of them didn’t guess correctly after several brutal matches. It had the feel of a turbo SnG, being forced to play push poker vs. more bluff re-raises and true poker play.

Refs, diving, stupid shootouts for elimination matches. I know I’m not the only one that would have enjoyed the World Cup more if these issues were looked as closely as Posh Spice’s panties reaction to Mr. Beckham’s goal.

Thank you for dropping by, now if you’re still here please proceed to refreshing everyone else’s blog for WPBT Caesar’s Palace recaps.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Saturday, July 08, 2006

All-Flop Team

I'm looking at the AL roster for the All-Star game and there seems to be a major brain fart on the internet.

For some compelling reason I couldn't find Francisco Liriano on there.

Anyone want to explain this? Mr. Gore your invention sucks for leaving this phenom off a roster he fully deserves.

Worst selection since leaving me off the 1985 Osseo All-Star baseball roster. Sure I had some control problems but my wicked curve ball made that team sponsored by Sundance Golf and Bowl suck the dust from the catcher's mitt!

I still hate all of you in Vegas. So jealous.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

For Peyton Charity Auction

Big announcement from the Bracelet and proof that I suck at the internets trying to get the banner to work :)


As many of you know, Bobby Bracelet has been on a mission to help a young girl named Peyton, whose mother passed away recently from small cell ovarian cancer. Many people have stepped up during this process to lend support. Gavin Smith, World Poker Tour Player of the Year, has worked very hard to generate a buzz within the poker community.

Gavin has gone above and beyond the call of duty, even spending enough quality time with Phil Hellmuth to persuade him to donate. That is what I call dedication.

Jason "Spaceman" Kirk has used his connections in the media to gather donations and turn Card Player Magazine on to our exploits.

Shelly Hokanson designed, and continues to manage, She has the worst job since Bobby Bracelet is a prima donna who can't seem to ever make up his mind about things.

I could continue on, but needless to say there have been many more who have helped along the way.

The For Peyton Charity Auction site

Currently there are a bunch of items up for bid. Items are available through Ebay. You can go to the sight and click from each item in the"Silent Auction" section to be taken right to its page on Ebay.

We havesome amazing things coming up in our second wave of items. Keep coming back to see us auction another lesson from a professional, tickets to an exclusive party held by the Lederers at the WSOP, and much more!

Phil Gordon -

Card Player -

Hellmuth and dummies -

Hachem -

Mercier -

Ivey jersey -

Smith jersey -

Seif jersey -

Grinder hat -

Negreanu package -

Fischman package -

Surprise For The Wife

While buying Christmas presents for my wife the conversation usually goes like this:

Drizz: Honey what would you like for Christmas

Mrs. Drizz: Just get me gift cards since you always buy the wrong size, color, shape, quantity, cut, brand name, non-diet, thing that I want

Drizz: Sighs

I’ve tried surprising her with imaginative gifts like the Gator Grip all-in-one tool!!!!!!, but instead of using it to turn sockets with ease; it got used to bludgeon my soft head for such a thoughtless present. Resigned to being bland oatmeal boring, I usually just buy her gifts while I slog through store after store on the day after Thanksgiving (recently this has changed, since I’m taking care of the kids now instead of wanting in line for the free 50% off coupon and stuffed animal at Target for showing up at two in the morning).

Birthdays are not much better as we’re usually celebrating the fourth of July and her birthday gift usually consists of a sparkler assortment, some of those black pellets that grow when lit, and a few illegal bottle rockets for FLAIR. She’s not the type to overhype a birthday or anniversary, in fact even if my sister-in-law didn’t pull off a very cool surprise party for my wife’s 30th last night she would have been content with the nice dinner I brought her to and watching the Twins before drifting off to sleep. Even with the garage door opening by itself, it wasn’t until she saw all of our friends and immediate family in the garage that she let a little wry smile dribble out from her lips.

The three B’s of burgers, brats, and beer were carted out as me and the wife resigned to just tipping back a few beverages. Since we all have kids now, they managed to take the mini inflatable ball-pit and redecorate the living room with multi-colored orbs of plastic. Despite being overly tired due to an infant that decided to forgo sleep the previous night, my wife was in good spirits the whole time despite 30+ people tracking thru the house. I got a few moments to see friends that normally take weeks notice just gather a foursome for golf (hopefully hitting up the links on Friday before hitting up Canterbury at night for the ponies).

Yes, I’ll be out at Canterbury while you fuckers are making wheel prop bets at the Excal, learning mixed games at the MGM, and trying to figure out which porn slapper can speak English.

If anyone enjoys meeting people, please walk up to these wonderful givers of smut along the strip and instead of just taking the porn, ask the customer service representative about the services he/she is hawking on those business cards/booklets:

“Have you tried out her willingness to make my fantasies come true?”
“Are her boobs as firm and perky as they appear on this page?”
“Will she still love me afterwards?”
“Is customer satisfaction guaranteed?”
“Can she handle 12 inches of my manhood?”
“Is she REALLY a cheerleader?”
“Does she know how to play AA4K double suited when the flop is 7 9 2 with one of her suit and she’s first to act into three tight players in a Pot Limit Omaha cash game?”

Very important questions, possibly a great podcast since most bloggers lack any shame and could rattle off these questions and more without cracking the corners of their lips upwards.

Go on, enjoy Vegas without me, I’m going to have a virtual tea party with the bloggers who are not going and we’re gonna show all of you just how much fun Connect Four on the internet can be!

Ok, I tried, the jealousy is too great, here’s a bunch of links to my recaps of the Aladdin and Imperial Palace tourneys. You’re all in for a great time.

Summer Classic Day One
Summer Classic Day Two
Summer Classic Day Three
Winter Classic Day One
Winter Classic Day Two
Winter Classic Day Three
Winter Classic Day Four

For Obie's Son

My condolences go out to the friends and family. Here is the memorial site for Obie's son.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I Need a Vacation From Vacation

Another stamp of parenthood is realizing that work is actually more relaxing then spending a weekend/holiday with your kids. Suffice to say that I’m a tad worn-out from the running around from cabin to cabin this weekend. I still think our investment of the trailer plus land was excellent for getting away for the weekend, but having to sleep with a toddler who uses you as a Chuck Norris kicking bag and wakes up randomly during the early single digit hours of the morning makes for one tired auditor this morning.

Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with the family, and especially my friends up there. But, add one (or seven) parts alcohol, plus a few trips to the pool, some mini-golf complete with shrieking teens in little bikinis (is it bad to look?? I feel like a dirty old man) with little to no sleep and you get some minced words thrown up into the internets from this guy.

Did I read it right, that Dutch sucked out on Oi Oi Oi for a bracelet??? I think someone slipped the karma police some roofies. I also saw the Rafe Furst nailed a bracelet finally, congrats!

If any Tiltboys like low limit gambles… I’m setting the Over/Under on Norman Chad references to his 20 minute bust out in the Main Event a few years ago during the final table replay at six. Contact me if you’re game for a single digit wager.

Me, myself, and I tried to collude on making some money while playing poker. And all three of us wishes to give poker a collective middle finger and some choice four-letter words to the various pixelized cards that didn’t not favor us. If it wasn’t for some ITM finishes in a couple of MTTs I think my Gateway would have met I-494. Seriously though, I did enjoy getting back into playing again rather then having to draft up recaps of feeding Kyra at two a.m. while watching the Ronco network and their latest spinning Rotisserie Randomizing Range.

Poker was fun, poker was not profitable. Yes, I pissed away some funds on bad plays. That was my fault. Yes, I got set on tilt late in a PLO tourney and managed to go from top 5 to out of the money close to the bubble. That was my fault. But, I will not accept paternity claims by the chick on Maury who after FOURTEEN tries can’t find the right guy to draft child support checks for her seventh child (and no the other six were not from the same sperm donator).

“Are you my daddy?”

I think I asked that after Bobby Bracelet showed me his nut straight thus knocking over my second buy-in after I was fortunate enough to get my money in pre-flop with KK vs. AA with my first buy in. No love at Full Tilt still. I must have pissed off someone there while in my drunken haze last December. Note to Full Tilt staff… love the new interface, well done, please keep up the good work and please stop beating me up there! (this is said with the elusive internets sarcasm, do not try this at home I am a untrained amateur who can make English sound like Sanskrit all in one post).

I’m off to get fanboish and read up on the WSOP going ons from Pauly and Otis. Still knocking it out of the park guys, and I’ll repeat my pleads for you guys to stay sane while watching bouncy internet poker room trade show hookers er…. strippers… er models and those bricks of cash with shiny wrist wear being delivered to whomever managed to emulate the luckbox for that evening.

Your work is appreciated, and I’m glad the corporate stiffs with the checkbooks are finally realizing that.

Thanks for dropping by, now I’m gearing up to wish my wife a happy 30th tonight with a nice dinner at this Italian restaurant. I hope they serve mac and cheese with hot dogs mixed in!!