Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Capturing the Milk Spills

Dance to your own music, but make sure others can hear the song.

Don't know why that quote or thought rolled in my head this morning while negotiating Hwy. 169 and its labyrinth of uncapped steel and half-finished concrete structures which is a year out from being finished. But, there's one guy (or Guy) that is waltzing with life and currently orbiting the earth as a result. Familiar to Vegas show go'ers and high stakes poker fanbois, billionaire Guy Laliberte founder of Cirque du Soleil blasted off from inside Kazakhstan to orbit until Friday according to this Yahoo article.

The one thing that caught my eye in the post was his age:

Williams, a two-time space traveler who recently became a grandfather, and Surayev plan to stay in orbit for 169 days. Laliberte is to return to Earth after 12 days in space.

Laliberte, 50, has a 95 percent stake in Cirque du Soleil, a circus arts and theater performance company that turned 25 this year.

Really? He's only 50? After watching High Stake Poker the last few years I would have put him the solid upper 50s/low 60s catagory.

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After watching the kids for the past two evenings while the wife gets her stress relief from pounding volleyballs, there's too many things I'd like to capture on film before the days of dating, parent hating, sexual confusion, and teen angst settle in. My little spider monkey daughter's iron grip while waking her up and carrying the Strawberry Shortcake clothed form to the car every morning, is something that refreshes the batteries quicker than any new product from Starbucks would ever do.

As soon as some dollars flow from online poker and reporting picking up a cheaper but decent camcorder/camera is on the list of fun money spending after the red ink is chipped away from a meager summer.

Any suggestions from the tech-heads out there? I don't need fancy settings, just something that doesn't completely blur out while trying to keep up with the kids.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Cleaning Up the Wet Spot

Ok, the pants have been hit with a shot of Spray-n-Wash, cleared mostly of the Favre-gasm from yesterday. Now, how did the Vikes get to the point where they needed to come up with the ironic replay of "The Catch" which an hour prior to kickoff was the subject of the "Mayne Event" on ESPN, complete with interview with Jerry Rice and pass from Mayne to Clark.

Foreshadow much?

First problem: WAY too many throws coming from Favre. Thanks to the amount of three and outs from the defense, the offense was on the field for a sizable amount during the game as they enjoyed a five minute advantage on time of possession. 46 throws should be said in the same breath while discussing a New Orleans Saints game and Brees going 39 for 52 with 6 billion yards and 50 TDs causing fantasy owners to mock those stuck with Trent Edwards. We won't mention such people as they are scum and deserve to have their faces swirled in the ass of that overly hairly fat naked dude in the gym locker room that insist on "air" drying for 30 minutes. True, the 49ers had some excellent run D, knocking down Purple Jesus by not allowing him his divine cutbacks but 46 is too much and asking for late season collapse (a.k.a. everyone's prediction).

Second problem: Stems from the first, catching said glutton of passes. The drops by Berrian and Big Jim Slade (shown below) are of dual concern since Berrian is supposed to be the #1 wideout and Shinacoe seemingly got over his mortar wrapped hands last year catching wounded ducks from T-Jack. Harvin and Rice are huge compliments to the above with size and speed and may need to step up if Berrian/Shinacoe can't find their hands.






Third problem: Blocking, specifically pass protection beyond the front four. Loadholt is having some growing pains, but its the Purple Jesus that needs to learn the art of picking up the blitz when he's not called upon to make defensive back a skid mark while dashing to a 70+ yard touchdown run. Taylor is excellent at this but when he's on the field teams rightfully assume the pass is on.

Fourth problem: The decision between Trader Joe's Hawaiian Style Hickory Barbecue Potato Chips versus Spicy Sweet Chili Dorritos. Good god people why must you make gametime snacking so difficult??? The beer part is easy. Four pack of Surly in a frosted mug, but the complimentary chips that should not be mixed but are equally tasty is maddening and is more confusing than what to do when the adult female of the house says "No, I really don't need help".

JUST SAY YOU WANT HELP AND DON'T LET MY LITTLE BRAIN TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT WITH BEER, CHIPS, AND FAVRE-GASM ALL IN 1080 dPi HDTV.

On another note: That MNF game last night? The battle of the headcase quarterbacks was utterly unwatchable for the first half. The second half was mildly better but the Cowgirls need help and with now two very good but busted up running backs, they'll be needing Simpson's ex to get his thoughts out of her daisy dukes and back in the game and Roy Williams to find his game from four years ago.

As for Carolina, Mr. Peppers you really should have signed with us. 3-13 isn't a stretch unless DeAngelo Williams scores all four TDs in several upset. Delhomme makes T-Jack look like the second coming of Montana, the dude needs to give up tackle football and start up a car dealership with excellent finanacing available and a free Garmin GPS device with purchase.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The First Time

It started like every other first date, the excitement of the first kiss coming strong and hard, the tingle of unfamiliarity not knowing where it was going. Hands sliding across places left untouched for so long causing goose bumps and heavy breathing followed by eyes closing right before the dual money shot and then collapsing on the bed spent from the emotional and sexual high. Throats dry from screaming, eyes looking across the room wondering how the hell we got sideways on the bed, and a sly smile like you just got away with bluffing with seven-deuce offsuit in a game of strip poker causing her to lose that newly acquired lavender lace see-through bra showing the goods underneath. Sadly, it all lasted all but over a minute, leaving me wanting more.

The day after my first Favre-gasm, I still feel dirty from the win that shouldn’t have happened in a game that seems to break from every NFL script of long drives determining the winner. A blocked FG for a touchdown made a 10 point swing before halftime, a 101 yard return for TD, refs trying their best to pad the stats of Yellow Flag who seemed to have more yards gained than both teams combined at one point. The team leading 58 minutes into the game failed to convert a single third down play (note they did convert a clutch fourth down play), but they also played some awesome run D shutting down Purple Jesus to a mere 80-ish yards.

On Saturday night a concerned FFL owner asked about the Purple Jesus against the 49ers and I told him how the game should play out:

1) Purple Jesus will grind out some yards, but will not score
2) Percy Harvin will score in some way
3) Favre will throw much more than in the first two games

Check, check, and check. But, I had no idea “more” meant over 40 tosses, my estimates were around low 30s as the Vikings shouldn’t need to lean on Favre like this but wow did he hit me with a lightning strike of amazement since Cyndi let my hand slide up her t-shirt in my parent’s porch when we were supposed to be at the homecoming game 17 years ago. Not since Puckett was fist-pumping around the bases in the World Series have Minnesota sports fans have been treated to just excitement. True, it’s week three and with only one divisional game under the belt of the Purple but just to get the pulse racing to an hour long aerobic workout is more action the average Viking jersey donning rube as gotten since a rookie Moss was taking in bombs from Cunningham during the fabled 1998 season.

Could it happen again? This week is the test. Will Favre’s age come into play and forget which locker room to come out of? Will there be more Packer #4 jerseys in the stands? Will the Vikes front four destroy the soft O-line of the Packers and disrupt a very good QB in Rodgers as the Bears did?

Madden would cream his pants to announce this one, and don’t be surprised if somehow the announcing maven finds a way to get into Metrodome’s media booth next to KFAN where Tirico, Jaws, and Gruden will be settled in to throw a Favre mention every other play on offense or defense.

To more important things: I’m now one prop bet down and Speaker will be receiving free pints and a bucket o’ sausage at the Nine Fine Irishmen at NYNY in December. This week will be The Wife’s shot at my homerism as I give betting lines too big (I would have bet the 49ers +7 all day with any parlay card) because of my Purple-tinted sunglasses. I know she’s traveling as the big shot VP at the moment so if you’re reading, drop a line on the proposed prop bet and we’ll get down to negotiations without the lawyers in the room.

SKOL!!!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Fantasy Flop

Worst. Fantasy. Picks. Ever.

I managed to pick a whopping four picks right in Pauly's pool and five in another pool with some softball buddies.

Nine. Out of 32.

Decent hitting percentage for a journeyman light-hitting baseball player who's a defensive specialist, not so great for someone who actually pulled some cash that same pool last year and would have won the other pool if he wasn't getting shit-faced at a Pai Gow table with a bunch of poker writing donkeys while listening to the Freddy Mercury deal-a-tainer at the IP and forgot to make his picks.

Repeat performance, not happening. Throw in starting 0-4 in two fantasy football leagues (one which I won last year) and all those hours reading up on ESPN/ProFootballTalk.com/KSK etc. were all for not. All except KSK which is simply awesomeness sqaured wrapped in pigskin (if you don't make it a daily page to read, check out the weekly Sex Mailbag and Monday Morning Quarterback with Peter King posts if you enjoy NFL humor and the sex mailbag since everyone likes sex, well at least I do, I'm not sure about you).

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The Midwest Poker Classic at Running Aces kicked off this week and after scanning the promo flyer from the racetrack (NOT CASINO!) there was exactly one Omaha tourney on the schedule.

Typical.

Before checking out the date I was mentally making plans to hit up the tourney if time off of work was needed since the WCOOP coverage actually saved vacation time. Instead of lucking out with a Friday or Saturday tourney start, its on the end-of-month Sunday which other responsiblities are more important than chasing a final table appearance at Binions and the fleeting thinking that I can play this game live for profit.

Maybe I can, maybe I can't but as it always has been, poker is a hobby something to do after all else is done. Lately, all else takes up the time space allotted for a rotation of the earth thus the poker (playing) takes a back seat to soccer practice, getting buff at the gym, and mopping up piss on a hardwood floor because your daughter mistook the kitchen for the bathroom.

Since I'm ok with the above, its nothing to miss out on another 15 hours of listening to how great Mark from California can throw clay chips and flip over pieces of plastic on a green felt. People wonder why I get drunk and purchase 200 big blinds while playing live poker? So all the brags and bad beat stories become funny rather than tiresome and annoying.

Live poker is supposed to be an enjoyable time away from everything and the Captain allows me to focus on the task at hand versus worrying about the broken database at work (DAMN YOU MICROSOFT!!!1111) or my kids' next week schedule. There's nothing but cards in front of me and people chattering to the drunk so I can learn how likely they are to play back at me or meekly give up if the board is scary because the idiot double fisting rum and cokes can't possibly be paying attention.

Right?

Of course not.

Now a blogger table, that's different. Those are friends, and frankly I'm there to chat about what's been going on since the last time we've met. Otherwise, you better believe I know the fact you folded your blinds for the last five orbits and raised twice showing down suited aces while taking fully liberty in checking out the massive exposed side boob of Lynda from California serving you hot coffee with two creamers.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

WCOOP Post-Partum Depression

And whew.

During my week at the PokerStarsBlog helping out with the final week of coverage for this years WCOOP at PokerStars I had to neglect my personal home of internet scribbling for the sake of watching people dish out millions of dollars. ElkY was a big winner taking home two WCOOP bracelets. djk123 took down player of the series honors with two huge bracelets and a deep run (4th place) in the WCOOP Main Event (won by Yevgeniy "Jovial Gent" Timoshenko). Day 1 Live blog that I helped out with is here.

As for this guy, I covered the lengthy PLO HU-matches which thanks to huge blinds and a chip of luck lasted 21 hours. Each level had one match that would go on for over an hour longer than the rest, so picking and choosing quick cat naps was a bit difficult. My favorite of course was the NLO8 with 10-minute levels, even though I'd rather be playing this myself, to watch the high level four card crack game was a bit of an eye-opener that got me thinking if there's such a tourney on the schedule next year I may have to ask the boss for a night off and think about throwing a paycheck towards this event.

There's a little sadness after the whirlwind week finally died down as "normal" schedules seep back into the household instead of kissing the wife before she goes off to work at 5:30am while typing up the bust-out hand of the seventh place finisher. I loved every minute of it. Sure the hours got a little thin but something different in the way of work is a piece missing from my corporate self as my job is fairly flat without chances of climbing any imaginary ladder. The people are fun, the hours almost me to have a day with the kids, the benefits secure their health coverage until my daughter finds her way into the medicine cabinet or constructs a Jenga-like tower out of pillows, step-stools, and oversized lego blocks to reach her favorite puzzle book on the top shelve that even my 5'3" wife can't reach, and bust her arm from a fall.

Otis sent an email after we closed the books on the WCOOP for the PokerStarsBlog thanking the five person crew (myself, Change100, Short Stack Shamus, and California Jen) that made the long morning hours seem like minutes. Thank YOU sir for the faith you have putting this half-child in a group such as you four and see you in December...

... which segues into WPBT Winter Classic hype mode.

With the plane tickets in hand, the deposit is down for Bloggers Booze and Balls, and Mr. JoeSpeaker himself started of the NFL blogger prop betting season since the Nardi brothers missed an optimal chance at this Viking fanboi giving up 20 points to the lowly Lions. This weekend its the newly minted 49ers trolling into town for the Vikes home opener. Led by the black R Lee Ermey of the NFL, according to the aftermentioned blogger there's new toughness to the 49ers team but that didn't prevent him from requesting I give up 6.5 points. NO FAITH IN FRANK GORE RUSHING FOR 34 YARDS ON 27 CARRIES?????? DROP AND GIVE ME 25 PRIVATE PYLE!!!!!!!

I'm not in full Vikings Rube mode yet as the wins came against bad opponents and horrible first half performances on both sides of the ball. Should the Vikes pull out a win this weekend against an upstart team with the stingy defense (by more than 6.5 TYVM) this fan may start plastering globs of Purple love on these pages.

Until tomorrow folks. SKOL!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

"Mixed Game Specialist" Wins

Not sure why I stayed up, or what I was thinking but cashed in HORSE tourney, still running in a $2 rebuy and managed to do this:


Went out in the $2 Rebuy "luckily" catching TT when the chip leader had jacks. Meow.





I'm such a pussy. See you tomorrow night/morning at the WCOOP.





Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Good Word

Yesterday was very refreshing. There's something about working overnight then hitting the covers for an afternoon that feels cold side of the pillow or feet-hitting-fluffy-carpeting good.

Due to the extra work at PokerStarsBlog yesterday and this coming weekend (Go over and check out our WCOOP recaps!!) for the WCOOP, this page will lag a bit since my co-worker is on leave and hometime is at a premium with Wyatt's soccer team is in full practice/games mode while Kyra starts up gymnastics next week and I'm finishing up my two adult t-ball (softball)leagues there about enough time to check the phone for messages (sorry about that Otis, my phone was dead) and head out to activity #1,945,023.

In other news, busy is good.

There's an enjoyment beyond typed words that I derive from being called on to work since my usual duties consist of keeping numbers alligned and stacking TPS reports alphabetically. My 9 to 5 is not the most thought provoking job in the world but I love the company and it pays the bills. Since I'm a low-level grunt with nothing more than a 2-year degree, professionally I'm stuck with what is given versus outreaching for what could be. Sure, going back to college and picking up a piece of very expensive paper could open a few doors but anyone want a half-deaf manager with a penchant for overplaying aces and tendency to make gag worthy white-boy dance moves everytime there's 80's hair metal music on after a few Captain and Cokes?

Aside from the finances and time that I don't have, there's a million other excuses that could be thrown at this college thing that keeps nipping at me but I rationalize it like this:

I'm happy right now, I'm satisfied where I'm at, and my family is taken care of.

Why throw those things into a spin cycle to be washed at high speeds for the sake of an educational facility to proclaim that I managed to break down a math problem or memorize an equation that will never been used again outside of a test with my name politely written at the top with room and period number.

Until those three things are threatened or in the forseeable future need to be upgraded, there's no desire to complete a bunch of mind-numbing textbook reading just for credits. Learning a new language, improving my writing, learning SQL... those things I'm interested in but don't cover the 8 credits of art history or Calculus III (better known as lets-give-you-one-problem-that-takes-four-pages-of-calculations-to-complete) needed to get a degree.

I'll choose happy for the first time since, ever. My inner-anger is gone (until of course someone brutally cracks my five million outs twice tonight and my laptop ends up embedded in the neighbor's overused hot tub), and for once in my life I don't feel like there's a need to prove myself of anything. Stable job (but need to cross fingers thanks to the economy), good friends that are trusting and trustworthy, and a renewed marriage/family life now that I can be the person they want and I want thanks to my bionic ears and refound need to stay in shape.

Don't worry, there's no attempt to become "born again", as I respect others' faiths, I hold true to the house of the present. As my belief is in family, friends, the angle of the dangle, and good drink with conversations not a book or teachings of the past. I had an old school-mate try turn me to biblical readings and living a more "clean" life. I told him I'd rather live how I want and not limit myself due to 2,000 year old "rules" or interpretation of those rules handed down through a book. I won't get into stances of abortion, homosexuality, etc. etc. because you're going to believe what YOU want, and I'll believe in want I want. To press someone's beliefs on another (unless you have the inside scoop on an NFL line SHARE WITH ME PLEASE) its best to keep it to yourself.

Rant over, feel free to recant and tell me I'm going to burn in hell.

Done blowing sunshine up your asses today. See you tonight as there's no WCOOP on tap for myself, so I'll be murking in the low limit tourney waters with a 52 ounce liquid stress reliever in my right hand.

Cheers.

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As for what you should be reading... Truckin' is coming back at ya, read the latest issue below, that Human Head poked his Jupiter-sized melon into. I have a story swirling around for the good doctor once the WCOOP madness dies down and the temperatures make it less desirable to step outside for a walk.



1. Tangerine Rockets by Paul McGuire Lennie was an international legend. His father walked away from a plane crash and passed along some of those good luck genes over to Lennie.... More

2. The Red Pill by Sigge S. Amdal She dropped the face and began to cry, as tensions rose around me. The waiters stopped waiting tables, people stopped talking; they were just exchanging knowing glances and judgmental comments... More

3. Fine Tuning by Milton T. Burton He looked perplexed. I slipped my hand beneath my coat, came out with the little silenced .22 Magnum auto, and shot him right in the center of the forehead. The hollow-point bullet exited the back of his skull, making a colorful little jet of blood and brains as it went... More

4. On Scoring by Human Head One look at the eyeliner, eyebrows, gold hoops and herringbone chains, and I knew this was the Angel we were supposed to see. As she drew closer to the door, the tattoo's left little doubt. She didn't say anything. She just looked at me... More

5. The Joys of Gambling by Johnny Hughes Saratoga Springs, New York in August was the gambling capital of America in the 1920s, with the horses, the spa waters, large and ornate casinos, and America's wealthiest citizens in a gilded age, when money and wine were treated like water... More

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Blue Collar to White Collar

Walking off the 18th green of Cedar Creek on Sunday near noon with a newly sunkissed face, a scorecard that said under 90 next to my name for the first time, and surprisingly only one Captain and Coke consumed (sober golf?!!?) there was only one thing I wanted to do next.

Watch football. No celebration of golf superiority despite besting my score from just last month by nearly 20 strokes, just Purple Jesus and maybe a Fat Tire or Blue Moon on tap.

The much hyped Vikes finally took the field to play a game that counted meaning the ghosts of Spergon Wynn and practice squaders would no longer pile onto the field looking for a roster spot. It meant Brett Favre’s debut for the purple and gold to play a game he hasn’t been asked to do before.

Manage it, not win it.

The gunslinger persona was put into the saddlebags to allow one of the league’s best rushing games to form with the cushion of a competent quarterback and not allowing the defense to stack nine in the box. Those who grew up on the Favre bandwagon and hoisted the country boy up to hero status may have had a slight jerk WTF reaction to seeing their lofty future hall-of-famer go 14 for 21 with 140 yards and only one touchdown as the Vikes won their opener against the Browns.

In this fan’s mind that was perfect.

He managed the game. Favre didn’t wildly smack the mascot in the entrance tunnel after overthrowing the line judges by 10 yards, hit a DB in stride down the middle of the field with Berrian and Rice streaking down the sides, he did exact what he was brought here to do.

Not lose the game.

Of course as the season rolls on I’m sure the 50 yard hail mary-like passes of Favre's past to Sterling Sharpe will creep into the game due to Rice’s leaping ability, Harvin’s and Berrian’s speed the Vikes wouldn’t be utilizing Favre’s ability if that wasn’t part of the game plan. But the days of 35 to 45 attempts are gone, replaced by Purple Jesus making highlight runs now that he doesn’t have to run through the thick underbrush of the Amazon to see daylight or Chester Taylor catching one out on the flat for 15 yards.

Much like the star employee who developed the cool new database and always produced the big numbered sales results moving up from cubical hell to the skyline view of the city behind the oak desk with his name displayed prominently near his family picture and college degree, Favre has moved up to management. If he allows Purple Jesus, a nasty defense, and decent O-line to do their jobs this team will not lose often this year and my Viking brick won't punish the new TV in the porch every Sunday.

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As for that Pats game last night, anyone think the Bills kicker returner was paid off after Brady finally got the offense clicking with the final gun about to sound? It was an easy call that Wonderboy would take care of business from Bills territory after the fumble, but who slipped McKelvin a few greenbacks so the sportswriters and ESPN could tickle Brady’s left nipple with headlines of HE’S BACK!!!!11oneoneoneone

No, he wasn’t back. The Bills had the upset wrapped up in Gisele’s lacy black Biofit DD bra (ok I couldn't find the black one, check with Al I'm sure he's got one at the Borgata) and fumbled the boob holder’s back hooks like a band camp virgin. Thank you Buffalo for allowing Dawn Summer’s Pats bandwagon to pick up the yolk and start traveling again like nothing happened.

And what the hell was Brady attempting while making the Matron Saint of KSK run for a quick post-game interview? Did Dreamboat forget his souffle in the oven? Ass.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

"Proper" Football





Yes, those fleet footed crossing passes and diving for yellow cards shin-guard wearing gentlemen will have to take a back seat in this country now that the NFL is back with the Titans/Steelers game this evening (not the Dreamboat-led Pats as this rum-soaked blogger thought yesterday, my apologies to those Boston sports fans who think suffering is going through a year without a season ending championship parade).


The Vikes will wait until Sunday to take on the Browns. ManGenius and Favre are already in the media spotlight since one can't decide if he can play all 16 games (and if Childress likes his job 17, 18, or 19 games) while the other is trying to keep his starting quarterback decision silent? This makes sense how? Its not like Quinn and Anderson are THAT much different as both are pocket passers, right-handed, and probably enjoy Ranch dressing on their side salad during the half priced Wednesday night specials at Outback Steakhouse. This isn't Michael Vick and Peyton Manning different its more mint chocolate chip and peppermint bon-bon different, so where's the catch, where's the drama, where's the beef?


There is no beef because regardless of who starts the Vikes' defensive game plan doesn't change one iota. This isn't plugging in a lefty reliever because the opposing manager is sending a left-handed power hitting slugger to pitch hit. Even before coaching one game Eric Mangini is managing to not only confuse the local press but his own team and its fans by showing zero confidence toward whomever starts Sunday night but not naming him at the beginning of the week.


As for Favre. Expected.


But I did like the blurb about him taking 10 minutes in the locker room to be honest with his new teammates about his reasons for returning to football. For Vikes fans, let's hope it turns into a cohesive locker room around its aging future HOF'er and one man media circus, and wins not just headlines are the result.


SKOL!





Wednesday, September 09, 2009

PokerStars Rebuy Tourney for Kent Senter

Check out the full release here.


POKERSTARS TO HOLD BENEFIT TOURNAMENT FOR CANCER VICTIM
Online Event To Raise Money for WSOP ME Participant Kent Senter and His Family

ISLE OF MAN, UK: SEPT. 9, 2009 – PokerStars, the world’s largest online poker room, today announced the launch the $10 Re-buy tournament to benefit Kent Senter, a Pittsburgh man suffering from Multiple Myelome Cancer. In July, PokerStars sent the entire Senter family to support Kent as he played in the WSOP Main Event He made a huge impact on those he met and PokerStars is giving back to this admirable man by holding a benefit tournament to take place on September 12, 2009 at 8pm ET. Proceeds from the event will go to help Kent Senter and his family.


"I'm so grateful and there's no way to thank everyone for what they've done," said Patty Senter, "PokerStars and Bluff have gone above and beyond and anything they could have possibly done for us, they have. A 'random act of kindness' doesn't even describe what these generous people have done. This is something we will never forget and are forever grateful."

Kent was diagnosed with Multiple Myelome in 2007 and has been fighting for his life ever since. His dream was to play in the World Series of Poker and Patty, his wife, did everything in her power to make his dream come true. In June she reached out to Bluff Magazine publisher Eric Morris and PokerStars and together they made Kent’s dream come true. Kent, an amateur poker player, endured a great deal of pain while sitting at the poker table each day.

He made it to the end of Day 2 before busting out- an impressive feat for a non-professional player, let alone someone in Kent’s condition. Although Kent missed the money at the event his story struck a nerve with many people at the WSOP. The USA Today, Associated Press, the local Pittsburgh media and poker trade publications like Bluff covered his story. ESPN filmed a feature segment on Kent that will appear in the September 8th and 14th broadcast.

“Kent is a great guy and has an amazing family,” said 2003 WSOP Main Event champion and Team PokerStars Pro, Chris Moneymaker. “I had the opportunity to spend some time with them during the Main Event and really enjoyed getting to know them. Its amazing that PokerStars sees their members struggling, and steps up when appropriate to help out.”

The goal of the event is to raise money to help pay for Kent’s medical bills that have put him and his family into debt.

Tournament details:
Date & Time: September 12, 2009: 8:00PM EST
Tournament Name: Kent Senter Benefit Tournament
How to Sign Up: Register for the event in the Tourney / Private tab
Structure: $10 buy-in with $10 re-buys for the first hour, standard speed


Prize Pool:
PokerStars and Bluff Magazine have come together to put together a great prize package for tournament participants:



1st place: Buy-in to the PokerStars WCOOP Main Event
2nd Place: Seat to a WSOP Academy provided by Bluff Magazine.
3rd Place: PokerStars tournament credit voucher for $1000
4th Place: PokerStars tournament credit voucher for $500
5th Place: PokerStars tournament credit voucher for $300
6th Place: PokerStars tournament credit voucher for $200

All players who reach the final table will also receive a free year subscription to Bluff Magazine and Fight magazine courtesy of Bluff.

Foolsball Eve

This blogger is not the only one who finds today's 09/09/09 date as significant. My personal feelings towards my favorite number arouse the need to shove some cash towards various wagers this evening (VIKINGS SUPER BOWL CHAMPS BABY WHOOOOOO WHOOOO!!!!). Most likely in line with the two seconds I actually spend at home, I'll pass out while John Kruk breaks down the flat assed Twins on Baseball Tonight as they crawl towards another second place finish in the AL Central.

Thankfully I did not plan any trips to Vegas over this date or my winnings at Binion's during the WSOP would be disbursed among single moms offering companionship two songs at a time, that big dollar wheel while annoying the hell out of the unfortunate Harrah's employee in charge of swiping my 40 to 1 bet off the board with every spin, and of course the fine staff in the Pai Gow pits at the Gold Coast.

Instead a very tame, surburbanite day with my newly minted first grade boy with more attempts to get him roaming on the new bike that looks nothing like my Huffy BMX with kick ass gold mags and a crossbar held by duct tape after the pursuit to dissuade gravity from taking hold of my flight off a make-shift dirt hill ended with my face going through the metal bar with a Frank Dux brick-breaking force. Tonight might contain a neosporin/band-aid moment but no ER.

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Fantasy Football, Football Pick Em', College Pick Em', Eliminator, anyone else have a contest I need to know about before kickoff tomorrow?

Yes, the Pats are playing but they're still considered a National Football League team despite having a model for a quarterback and being a football fan I'll be compelled to watch after softball tomorrow night while in my normal cash grab for donkeys at Full Tilt and PokerStars on Thursday nights.

Anyone wager on DawnSummers single-handedly shutting down Twitter with Brady updates tomorrow?

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Thing Flips

Instead of the daily posting that I'd like to be mumbling out its been "let's see what I can type in the 15-30 minutes of free time".

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The extended "vacation" at the trailer/cabin for Labor Day was parts relaxing and parts non-stop partying. Whether it was taking the kids to the overflowing pool ladened with illegal teens wearing something that constituted as a bikini. Yes, I looked and yes I have aisle seat to hell thank you very much. The sheer amount of tramp stamps also viewed has me looking into a trailer trash safely vault for my prized daughter as I'll be the one shaking my head in 10 years (please make it a loooooooooong 10 years) as I'll get the speech about how Bobbi-with-an-i got the ancient Japanese word for rice cake tattoo'd across her ass cheeks yesterday and she wants one too.

There are also a dose of cliches waddling around like the 350 lbs. woman (I think) donning a living room drape with the words "I don't think you're getting lucky tonight". After seeing that, I didn't feel at all lucky.

But, freaks aside there's no place in the summer I'd rather be that doesn't contain overflowing Pai Gow Poker tables and LA douchebags looking to score at Sapphire with that one stripper who might come back to their hotel room after a couple grand in lap dances and $35 Captain and Cokes. The economical play would have been to hit up the hooker bar at the casino and get laid minus the glitter of course.

The quarter carnvial with mini-donuts, mini games, mini rides and mini golf suited both the kids and parents senses and wallets with promises of easily breakable light-up toys in exchange for a dash of skill. The park's yearly end-of-the-season activity closes the books on weekend drinking and flailing asleep on undersized beds for 6'4" semi-pro pinball players.

Get your game going if you think you can hang at Addam's Family pinball this December WPBT-go'ers. Tour the mansion and sparkly initials added? Yes sir. Annoyed looked from five people waiting to play? Go check out that Pole Position game in the corner or put a wager on the machine sir.

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Today marks the boy's journey into big boy school as his first day of first grade and all-day school attendance starts after walking into the bus on the corner of 69th and Hemlock. My hopes are as always that he keeps his spirits high and continues to be friendly to anyone within an earshot and doesn't fail where I did at that age.

Elementary school is something I've always looked back at with contempt as the skinny bookworm with a hearing disablity who tried to ingrain himself into some group of people only to find the library, home, and baseball diamonds after school as a place of solace. He has two good ears (as checked throughly yearly) but the acquired big blue eyes and smile from his father which hopefully will get a few smiles in return along with youthful friendship that I lacked growing up.

Good luck Wyatt, may you keep your smile and share it so others can enjoy it as much as your parents do.

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A quick Fantasy Football Draft question for those who still gather up their friends for a live draft:

Is every year a cluster-fuck of "OMG THAT WASN'T IN THE RULES?!?!" and other massive disagreements that take two hours longer then it should have to solve.

As always the food and drink provided by my friend BJ soothed the volleying of draft order, keepers, and points arguments but starting at five and ending somewhere around 10:30 shouldn't happen for a league of close friends that throw in $25.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Crackback Attack

It wasn't until I stepped into the gym yesterday and my ass took its place behind the horizontal bench piled with massive weights to impress the row of movable walking carpets with various bounces of MILF-ish asses just five feet away that I noticed the Vikings newly proclaimed savior on Sportscenter.

There was no sound (I did have my hearing aids in to listen to the Carrot Top looking guy in the free weight area grunt a 747 out of his 80's style short gym shorts) coming from the TV but none was neccesary. The first replay I just continued my reps towards building a body that will never become "chiseled" because of my love for foods that are on the EAT THIS! rather NOT THAT! side of the culinary equation. The second one after seeing the play in full made my eyes advert from the perfect stems walking in unison and abandon the exercise to watch number four more closely.

I'm talking about this. Of course ESPN blows the crackback block of Eugene Wilson up because its FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE!!!!111oneoneone but really you'd expect a little higher degree of sportsmanship from a guy hailed as an ambassador to the NFL. The Sportscenter crew would replay it 8 times (I counted with both hands) before finally moving on to discuss Michael Vick's attempt to pet a dog yesterday that ended with the QB's hand nearly becoming a Beggin' Strip (just kidding, but this needs to happen).

Bad karma was not needed for this team, especially for a 40 year old QB trying to stay in one piece while held together by dental floss. Granted its good to see he's playing hard, just not using the judgement that a 19 year pro in this league should have. Reverse the scenario for a second and Favre goes limping off the field and a flurry of #4 jerseys jump the walls of Reliant Stadium gang raping Wilson with ripped out bleacher seats based on the direction from Peter King's twitter post.

Hopefully an apology excuse ladden interview will put this behind quickly or some 2nd string Safety coming in on a suicide blitz will see a reason to end the immortal Favre's career and send Zygi's chances at a Super Bowl win from somewhat possible to how soon are we moving to some place that will give me a stadium?

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This afternoon I'll be playing at PokerStars Media event for a shot at a WCOOP buy-in. Likely it will be Texas Hold Em' (bleech) but I'll hold my bile for the game in if I can score a buy-in to play an Omaha event or some kind of HORSE/8-game mix that fits the schedule. The structures in these tourneys is mega deep making for a lot of play which fits my weak-tight-spazzy "game" perfectly. I stayed up all night last year watching/reporting on these events at the PokerStarsBlog (will be joining Otis, Change100, Short Stack Shamus, and California Jen again this year) and know most of the tourneys start in the afternoon and end sometime around last call at the bars and time for pigs in a blanket for brunch.

While we're on a poker kick... congrats to Change and Dr. Pauly on their new PokerNews gigs!! Both will be playing their strength as Pauly is doing an Op-Ed piece (click on link for hottest Old English t-shirt ever seen) on the weekends while Change will continue her globe-trotting ways as a tourney reporter.

I'll report a bit on Twitter on the media event today. Follow if you dare.

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If you think poker players are degens, check out a chick who managed to blow through a mutli-million dollar lottery win in six years. Idiot, she should have played more Pai Gow.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

What is a fan to do?

Ok, there was some mega-super-duper homerism going on after Favre made the perfect hand-off in the first play of last night’s EXHIBITION game. Watching the Purple Jesus glide on turf for 75 yards while even the D-backs couldn’t contend with the exalted one’s speed as it was the tinge of excitement necessary to get entrenched into this possibly epic season.

The fan in me wants to believe Favre is the guy despite age and injuries.

The homer in me still cringes every time number four trots out from the sidelines in a spiffy new Vikings jersey.

After seeing the schedule for the first five games, should the Vikes not come away with at least a 4-1 record over the Browns, Rams, 49ers, Packers (go 1-4 and this one is a must win since there’s December pride on the line), and Detroit they need to hang it up with the Super Bowl talk and face the music that this shovel of cash towards this talented team, and the three month media circus surrounding Brett Favre was not worth it as they’ll float back towards a possible wild card team and I’ll store the Helga hat for 2024 and wait for the next Fran Tarkington or Touchdown Tommy Kramer to lead this team to something significant.


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The Minnesota State Fair kicked much ass and deserves its own post with some pictures. The sad state of the average Minnesotan sports fan came out as the lowest common denominators strolled down Dan Patch Ave. while double fisting cheese curds and Wild Bill’s curly fries.

Oh wait that was me.

It was the below tilt-inducing numbers that got this home town fanboi shaking his head towards the quickness of the Favrewagon being unleashed towards the land of 10,000 lakes.

Number of seconds upon paying admission first Vikings Favre jersey/t-shirt spotted: 26.2

Number of Joe Mauer jerseys worn by studly bloggers who get free drinks from random women in Chicago-land bars: 1

Number of Joe Mauer jerseys worn by various fair-going fans: 13 (including one entire family of four)

Number of Brett Favre t-shirt/jersey variations found: 17

Think this is a Vikings town? The epitome of hometown sports hero and the first one people gathered around since Kirby Puckett (maybe KG, but most people have given up on the Wolves), and the fan base turns their “Favre Sucks” t-shirts inside out to expose how quickly their loyalties change.

Granted I’m climbing up the wooden steps myself, ready to hitch a rickety ride on the sparsely covered Favrewagon myself, but this is still baseball season with a team that isn’t giving up being only 3.5GB of Detroit after a 4-1 win last night over the White Soxs (thanks to Mr. Mauer’s home run of course). Part of me wanted to go up to each Favre toting follower to ask why they choose to lend their fan-dom towards a figure in a state that has made Brett Favre their personal Dr. Doom for all these years.

I still can’t explain what the heck I’m supposed to feel when he scrambles and hits Shinacoe down the middle for 19 yards (or as BG mentioned on twitter, 22 yards if you count his John Holmes sized baby rattle). A fan of the franchise forced to root for the enemy and looking to break the string of almosts and could-have-beens that have hung over the Vikes since Jim Marshall ended up on NFL Films for eternity by scoring a wrong-way touchdown.

Its only preseason, and ignoring their 3-0 record is easy but shying away from the spark that the defense and offense showed last night gives hope that sports fans in this town may have something to root for in January other than above zero temperatures for once.