Monday, November 17, 2008

Two Minus Two Does Not Equal Four

Well that was a downer on an uplifting weekend The Vikes seem to have a pre-written script they follow before Longwell knocks the opening kickoff to the opponent’s two yard line. Crush the first half with Purple Jesus and a pass rush that invokes the ghost of guys like Eller, Marshall, Millard, Randle. Then put the mini-van into cruise control while dressing down Christy Brinkley in the red sports car in the second half while dreaming about hitting the Megabucks at the Luxor.

The word “quarters” implies four pieces, not two, and if the Vikings want to prove they were only a few acquisitions from becoming a legit playoff/Super Bowl team, an effort to play a whole game needs to be shown by the entire team. The defense gave the offense several chances by holding the Bucs to field goals despite giving up golden field position in the second half. NFL pariah to the running back position, awesome speed guy on the outside, a resurgent tight end who’s hands went from bricks to pillows, fortress for a front four, and 80-year old quarterback lacking Viagra while staring down The Wife in her beer bitch uniform.
Limp, flaccid, and a dozen other synonyms for mush, the Vikes need something better then a rent-a-wreck at QB to “get by”, they are a playoff team but keep showing up for the exams without studying or going to class, which is fine until the material exceeds what you learn playing bar trivia on Tuesday and Thursdays at Dave and Buster’s.

In other news, the Surly CynicAle kicked much ass, as I kicked down another growler during the game. *burp*

Poker continued to please my wallet in a home game with some co-workers. Rivered flushes came in, value bets got the call, and she finally wanted anal! I’m not doing anything different on the virtual or real felt except playing more hands and not looking at the cards as much as the players and their stacks. The whine about cold hands and worse suckouts in T-minus three days if poker-y ideas make their way to this spot on the internets.

Anyone getting excited for Vegas?

I know The Wife is, since she’ll be donning some brand, spanking new Viking apparel (just kidding, actually your husband's idea was much better). And due to his zest in selections, I’ll be awarding the free beer and $10 wager to Waffles but Bayne's cheerleader suggestion is noted. I'll her pick out the bottom though to be fair. Let me know the sizes and learn the Vikings fight song before getting to the sportsbook. SKOL!!

If you're playing poker in December hit up Falstaff with the RSVP, I will be dining at the casino that night and regulated to railbird or hitting up the mixed game after stuffing my face with expensive steak and frites at Bouchon's.

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