Tuesday, December 08, 2009

2009 WPBT: A Prelude

Don't worry, the Wilson Phillips video I play every year is going up tomorrow.

Yes tomorrow as in we're just two days from WPBT-gasm all over the Geisha bar and various poker tables spread across the Las Vegas Strip.

My itinerary is a road map, but as many people have gotten to know me on these pages, I'll be sure to find myself somewhere even the legend of the map doesn't have a symbol for. These things are locked down however:

Thursday -

  • Wheels up from MSP around 5 ish, meet OhCaptain at the airport taking separate planes around the same time, place first prop bet and drink first drink of the trip.
  • Land at LAS, promptly put first wasted money into a Star Wars slot machine. Make lightsaber noises when three Luke Skywaker symbols line up, tell random person to "may the force be with you... always"
  • Catch a cab (probably with OhCaptain) to the Strip, remind Abuzzl that I do not wish to take the highway
  • Unpack, sadly since I'm here five days will need to bring a suitcase get shafted by the airlines for the baggage fee.
  • Head to Geisha Bar, be wary of The Rooster buying birthday shots while partaking in the first late night Pai Gow session of the weekend


  • 9:30am in front of the IP in a collared shirt and khakis ready to destroy fellow bloggers in the four team golf scramble
  • Hit golf ball aproximately 140 times, curse 139 of those and cheer the one time it actually leaves the ground
  • Pay Speaker for all of the golfing prop bets I lost AND take him over to the Nine Fine Irishmen for a Bucket O' Sausage and pints. This doesn't really feel like a loss.
  • Time for -EV gambling
  • Mixed games at MGM, get told I cannot purchase $1,000 in $1 chips. Pout. Get $500 and have blogger chip runner bring me more.
  • Maigrey knocks over pretty chip tower. Pout more.
  • Show table that 789T rainbow in O8 really isn't a "premium" hand despite the pretty four card straight.
  • Actually understand 85% of the conversation (up from 10%!) at the bar behind the MGM poker room. Shed a quick tear for all those who helped with the hearing aid purchase and drink more.
  • Put on spandex and mullet and head to Steel Panther for headbanging to "Death to all but Metal" and "Asian Hooker" and pray I haven't passed out at this point
  • 3am $2/$4 limit poker with fellow concert go'ers? Yessir.


  • Get wheeled into the Caesar's poker room as the captain of Team Wheelchair (Al and StB).
  • Mention every tournament I've won online, and the chop I took at Binion's Poker Classic were done while having a BAC around my age and start drinking again after ability to sit upright comes back
  • Bust out in 12th place while holding pocket queens against 53 offsuit. Smile, grab a hot chocolate and watch Team Wheelchair take home the PokerStars infused prize pool.
  • Rage solo and try not to end up dead


  • NFL at Lagasse stadium hope Emeril's buffalo wings dont suck
  • Ogle at The Wife donning her newly minted Vikings #4 jersey
  • Take a second and third look
  • Cheer the Vikes to victory over Iggy's WHO DEY!
  • Say good byes to those leaving that night, find out who's sticking around for a run to the Gold Coast for my favorite Ice Queen pit boss while playing $10 Pai Gow and attempts to make her smile or perhaps bowling?


  • Detox by playing $2/$4 limit hold em' with hot chocolate on an IV drip in the Flamingo poker room. Tilt locals by hitting two pair with the hammer after capping preflop
  • Flight back to MSP in the afternoon, prepare for stories of how the other Vegas demolished the house while I was gone, do dishes like a good husband, kiss the kids good night, promptly pass out and dream of doing it all again the next year.

Two days folks. Tonight I have hot birthday date with my wife that will consist of eating and drinks at PF Changs at 6:30pm then sleeping by 8:00pm because that's how old people roll.

No comments: