Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Quick hits: Parenting question for those with good poker faces

Quick hits:

  • Brad Childress fired = Drizz happy camper.  It doesn't help the team any, but least shows they're willing to move forward.  My hopes that the "moving forward" part means building a stadium in Blaine, MN not LA.

  • There are just 15 days left before the WPBT Winter Classic.  Do you have your three person PokerStars-infused prize pool last longer team in place yet?  What the fuck are you waiting for?  The Lions to the win the Super Bowl or Obama to admit he could have done things differently in his first two years in office?  Not gonna happen.  So go.  Sign up your weak-ass team that will visiting Davy Jones' Locker after run over by the Brad Childress-less Viking ship of TEAM SKOL!!!  If you dare bust one of us out I'm sending this guy to your house to rinse your mouth out with month-old dead trout or his unwashed arm pits:

Photo cred here

  • On Sunday I got a lazy day as a present to myself for waking up at 6am and busting out a two page essay on poems, half of my final paper (due in three weeks), and finished a statement of cash flow for a mock corporation. Shortly after the Viking's implosion that had Packers Fans creaming their green and gold g-strings my daughter entered the room with a worried face. Usually this means a) "Daddy, I took five bars of Hersey's chocolate and ate four of them while smearing the fifth one all over the kitchen" b) "I want to watch Strawberry Shortcake's adventure in Berry-Berry land for the fifteenth millionth time but can't get the DVD player to work after jamming three discs in there" or the dreaded c) "I did something that I won't tell you, but know it's wrong and need to be questioned like a police's person of interest". Can any parent tell me the secret behind keeping a straight face while your adorable four year old daughter tells you she cut her bangs with safety scissors? Bluff a flush draw on the turn in a heated PLO game with a stony face? Yes sir! Not laugh on my cutie's hair malfunction?
Not this guy.

Updated pic of said daughter for those who do not follow me on Twitter


Joe Speaker said...

Nope, nothing you can do there. AJ once clogged the toilet, which proceeded to overflow. He was 3 at the time. He didn't tell me, but by the time he made his third trip to the kitchen for paper towels, I knew something was up. I followed him and found him furiously trying to clean it up before anyone else found out.

How can you possibly be mad? I mean, I didn't want people to know when I puked all over their kitchen after too much Green Hungarian (that's a wine).

Joanie said...

Sorry, you'll get no help from me on keeping a straight face with kids. I'm the mom who fell off her chair with tears streaming down her face and suddenly unable to breathe after admonishing a two year old to quit eating like a little piggy and who, in her most darling manner possible, looked at me and oinked. Yeah. My kid oinked at me.

How do you NOT laugh?

Life's too short. Laugh and learn. It's so much more fun than crying and yelling and being miserable.