Bacon and Speed Poker = Win

Another day, another coin flip. Almost paid off my fall trip with some friends this morning while frying up some bacon and eggs. Its easy to play push and pray poker during these little turbo 180 person tourneys popping up on PokerStars.

1 hour and 45 minutes is all it took to hit the final table but Presto was not gold as AJ sOOOted turned a nut flush and my side pot worth more then the main pot vs. AQo caught a four flush with one of my 5s and instead of paying off the plane ticket and a meal or two, I'll be able to afford brunch at the Waffle House with a extra cheese on my hash browns.

At least the bacon and eggs didn't suck. And for more bacon that doesn't suck, go vote on Al's site for the person soon-to-be blessed with fine cutlets of pork products for a year. His post is also a reminder... PLO8 is for those who really don't like money.

Hope your holiday weekend included some relaxation unless you're a Mariners' fan, good god did they take money to tank like this?

Its Time for the Great Minnesota Get Together

I thought it was an urban legend regarding the gross overpayment of supplies for our men and women in the armed forces. This story ain’t coming from Snopes folks, and basically it’s the EBay trick of buying the item for a fraction of the cost and charging you the item’s cost for shipping. Except the shipping cost for these nineteen cent items included a couple Porsches, beach house, and a few Happy Meals at McDonald’s for good measure.

Can any bloggers play poker? Chalk up two more big final table scores for Absinthe and LuckBox Bayne. Me? I racked up an impressive 40th out of ~600 runners in a one dollar rebuy tourney! Sadly, I lost the last longer bet to Speaker who drank his way to a higher finish.

It’s a sarcasm thing again folks, I do it once in a while speaking of poker since my poker resume reads more like Stan from overnight at Home Depot trying to “move up” to a cashiering position so he can drool over the unattainable blonde Kassie who’s more worried about her three boyfriends coming into the store at the same time versus noticing the thousand dollar impact wrench the gentlemen is sneaking out in his cart under the five dollar piece of plywood.

Or maybe the thief thought he was shopping at the Pentagon…

Its not stasis as I routinely push for playing a little higher once-a-week, except in the tournament realm (minus the WSOP) where I am firmly in the low stakes bracket and there to stay since stringing together 4-5 hours of free time is only available one night a week, and playing “serious” poker isn’t on the agenda for that night. Ugh. I just sounded like one of those guys who sues a bar for getting drunk and totaling their car didn’t I?

I play a high variance cash games like PLO and PLO8 6-max, yet I can’t justify spending more then $26 on a tournament and even that carries a three drinking minimum with enablers like those chatting away about pubic hair shaving on IRC. I believe someone wrote about “playing games that are familiar” while building that bankroll and keeping the stakes low when “having fun” at things outside of your profitable game. Which I do, but when I looked at my ROI % in Omaha tourneys at Full Tilt it gets me to thinking that perhaps I should push for a poker night that I can start a little earlier in the evening to take some shots before the two tax deductions are shuffled off to bed under dreams of CHEESE CURDS AT THE STATE FAIR ON FRIDAY WHOO WHOO! Would Lindsay Lohan eat a cheese curd? Just wondering.

Or perhaps I’m content with winning a little here and there, moving up levels with the speed of a three toed sloth but being profitable along the way. And if it gets me back to the poker tent at the Rio next year for the WSOP, does it matter?

Thanks for dropping by, now if you love bacon in a way that it turned your uppity neighbor chalk white after seeing that g-string you fashioned from the 5 pound maple smoked thick cut bacon fresh from the butcher’s shop while getting the morning paper…

… hop or oink for that matter, over to AlCantHang’s for the writing contest designed for those who dream in pig latin.

Word Play

Milan manager Carlo Ancelotti is determined to make some use of Ronaldo and isn't worried about the striker's extra weight.

"Ronaldo is not fat," he said. "He is a very robust player.”

Yes, the very robust woman at McDonald’s yesterday barely avoided trampling over my kid because she couldn’t see over the top of her two feet of womanhood protruding from her chest and waistline.

Gotta love a play on words to describe a potential bust in the athletic realm.

I'm sure people have checked out Miami Don's odds for winning the WPBT Player of the Year:

SnG Machine 2/1
Lucko 3/1
Hoyazo 5/1
Drizz 5/1
Double As 5/1
Otis 5/1
Absinthe 5/1
StB 7/1
Byron 7/1

Oof. No pressure. Luckily we're not playing all NLHE tourneys and mixed games are more up my alley as I enjoy other forms of poker much more then Hold Em'. Guess I'll have to start playing more tourneys when the option presents itself. Staying up until 1 or 2 in the a.m. is a decent way to relive the days of Kyra coming home from the hospital, but bad way to audit a 500 page spreadsheet while handling vendor complaints.

A sign that I'm going to hell: R.I.P. Barbaro

I think I'll stay away from horsey wagering for awhile as the negative karma build-up will be massive for picking Barbaro in F-Train's Death Pool.

I'm sure Daddy was watching the re-posting of Berrian's nutrition lecture to a elementary school class:

Bernard: Do any of you know what it takes to make it in the NFL?

Redhead freckle-faced ginger-kid: Four-three forty speed?

Kid-giggles.

Bernard: That always helps, but first you have to lay a foundation—make your body strong. Do any of you know how to do that?

Pretentious kid with overly dramatic delivery: Massive amounts of jumping-jacks?

Bernard: No, I’m talking about diet—the food you put in your body. Before ever game in college I used to eat bacon and syrup, and I brought some with me. Come on everybody let’s eat!

And the crowd goes wild.

Money going on the pork lover's team. Skol Bears!!

Thanks for dropping by, now did anyone catch Jen Leo's announcement about the Wirecard becoming a new nicotine patch for players at Full Tilt. I stress the "patch" part because while it gives players a badly needed form of online poker funds liquidty, but just creating a new payment processor is like placing a bunch of finger sized Cars-themed band-aids on the Exxon Valdez to save the Alaskian wildlife.

Its not solving the issue, like the DayQuil I guzzled this morning.

Edit: Vince Flynn is kicking much ass, thanks for the tip!!! Had to start with Executive Power but I'll find the rest soon enough