Home Game Full Moon

It was not 75 with a cool breeze sitting off the front porch being served cold cervezas.  There was no newly minted news anchors or like-minded degenerates sitting on my left and right.  Instead, my left foot was near frozen after coming back in from taking the garbage out and two kids needed tucking in after watching an Animal Planet special on desert animals.

The laptop was on to check my school email account and sign up for next quarter's classes and run through the personal accounts to delete messages from Adam and Eve and other companies who don't share my wife's opinion that my dick is long enough.  Twitter came on for a debate by various poker friends over the Two plus Two forums and their utility in the poker universe.  It is a great tool, vast amounts of information on just about any topic you could think of within the 52 cards in play.  But, it is also bloated to the point that non-regular users without a direct link to a certain article would be lost to find information on.  The last time I went diving into the forum without a link, I was searching for others having issues with Full Tilt/Stars check cashing problems.  30 minutes later I finally found a thread, despite trying to use the search function which normally I would feel fairly competent at, or even would brag that only the Cray-5000 supercomputer known as KevMath would be a faster researcher than I.  Great information, needs a slim-fast weight loss program.

Moving on.

While the virtual spittle was flying The Mark hopped on to catch a fish looking for some home game action.  The G-Vegas degens above such BadBlood and GRob were enjoy a peaceful southern evening under a half moon while I worried about catching frostbite thanks to a state that doesn't know it's almost April and decided to dump a half a foot of snow on the three million of us already suffering from cabin fever and quashing my plans of testing out my new disc golf set this weekend.

Thanks to PokerStars and their Home Game set-up I was able to sit at The Depot in G-Vegas to play some six handed PL Hold Em'/Omaha.  While I'd rather be downing a half bottle of Captain while losing music prop bets to the table, this filled in nicely regardless of outcome.

The outcome of course was brutal for one table member as I was logging in, BadBlood was all-in after a flop gave him an around-the-world wrap versus Grob's two pair.  Ship buy-in #1.  Happened a short while later with another big, favored draw against Grob's flopped set.  Turn, makes broadway for BadBlood, River ships quads to your new G-Vegas news anchor quietly awaiting his new desk.  Ship buy-in #2.

This went on for the ~2 hours of play with Grob of course giving several words of encouragement for the run-terrible heavy metal fan.  Then after dropping my son off in bed for the third time after the shadows spooked him again, I came back to BadBlood open raising the button for the 10th out of 10 time on my blind while I held 9-6-6-7 and Grob in the small blind making the call.  Badblood had a fresh $50 stack while I luckboxed into a little under $70 and Grob was over $200 with $.25/$.50 blinds.

*puts on reporting cap*

Why don't you take those quads and shove em' up your ass!

With the fixed blinds at $.25/$.50, resident table pinata, BadBlood44, made the raise to $1.50 as GRobman and Drizztdj in the blinds both called to see a coordinated 9c-6d-6c flop.  GRobman, sporting Trey Anastasio's mugshot, made a quick check as did Drizztdj who was fighting connection problems.  BadBlood44 followed through with a $4 bet as both the blinds found the courage to make the call.  Turn card came the Kd as again both blinds turtled up to the muscle bound man on the button as BadBlood44 shoved out $7 and was quickly called again.

River card was the Kc completing a potential stack busting flush, as GRobman starting listening to some Phish bootlegs he picked up at Langerago and checked, Drizztdj came to life and shoved out a pot-sized bet and BadBlood44 equally as quick shoved in the rest of his stack as GRobman said "whatever dude" and folded quickly while grooving to "AC/DC Bag".  Drizztdj holding 6-6-7-9 for the flopped quads quickly called and the half-moon outside may have really been a full one as BadBlood revealed not only the second nuts, but the second nuts made twice showing the flopped top full and rivered top full K-9-9-T and had to watch yet cooler and another buy-in ship outside of his reach.

First drink on me next time we meet sir.

2011: The Search for Perry

Fresh year, fresh quarter of school, and fresh snow for all!  Including our friends in G-Vegas who unfortunately lack the snow removal tools to deal with the white, slippery stuff.  It's a sliding scale of course as people in the northern states and Canada-land are used to the delays, hourly shovelling, and the bitter cold of the winter months whereas those south of the Mason-Dixon line may not have city wide plows, salting trucks, and a general tolerance for such weather.

 image credit

Dead birds, mass flooding, and the Packers somehow winning a playoff game have the conspiracy/Armageddon nut cases in a frenzy as 2012 approaches.  If the world is ending prior to my 2013 graduation from college (current GPA a double flex worthy 3.98, ladies form the line to the right, I've been told there's plenty for everyone) why not party it up?

This year will be busy if not more than last year when I stretched myself to the limits by returning to school on top my daily routine which tires most people out just reading it.  The plan is to stay the course, continue to find pockets of fun underneath the wave of swimming lessons and Income Tax code books that outweighs a pan of lasagna for 10.

Last year took me to G-Vegas for Mastodon Weekend which was the perfect kick off for returning to school.  A weekend without my fingers being frozen while waking up, bars that don't force their employees to wear flare and served awesome beers, and most of all like-minded friends who shared themselves and dropped their professional suits in the garbage bin full of empty Yuengling bottles and strapped on the degeneracy wear to tear up downtown Greenville. 

There was making sure I had the funds for such hijinks as I helped out the PokerStarsBlog for the PokerStars SCOOP and WCOOP tournaments, trading regular sleep patterns for final table wraps about people winning six, even seven figures online.  My love for cards and watching the action got me thru the wee-hours of the morning and kissing the wife go to work at six a.m. and finishing up while dishing out Fruit Loops and bacon for the kids.  Reporting on poker is something that gives me a little extra spark as my regular job lacks forward thinking and being able to shove a few puns and use active thinking while writing helps bring some energy to a rather drab cubical life. 

Then the circus came into town for a Twins game, golf, and gallons of Surly Furious as Gentle Summit invaded downtown Minneapolis where we got Speaker and his newly minted lovely wife Emet addicted to the local brew.  StB sailed in from Milwaukee and DonkeyPuncher found the ability to board a plane semi-sober and stumble down Hennepin avenue with us.  I was lucky enough not kill everyone with my "sunglasses at night" trip from Canterbury Park and even walked away with enough money to cover the weekend's lap dances and Drizz drooling over 2am beers and wings expenses.  This summer however I vow to best Speaker on the golf course despite having the inability to swing a club for the next five months and will remember not to partake in that seventh NewCastle on the back 9.

After our usual kick-ass summer at the cabin/trailer, the fall months quickly brought December and my month to unwind from a stressful year.  Birthday, WPBT, four day weekends, New Year's parties, two weeks off of school, basically an off-loading of every deadline, every six page double spaced paper with appropriate APA formatting and reference page, every "I DONT WANT TO EAT THAT!!!!1!!!", every argument with my better half who I lean on more than I should but she stands tall despite being a foot shorter than I.  Every inch of stress gone, ready to reload for 2011 as the only memory still not on paper is the kick ass Black Crowes concert that may be Truckin' worthy once I finish it.

2011 brings something to look forward to versus something to be endured.  I've already hit the ground running with a spring break trip in the works, and a long time friend dropping in from Philly to make sure I get my alcohol and poker quotient in for the month year.  If I survive the AlCantHang experience again, you'll read it here.

Darwin's Drinking Game

"I have never been a millionaire, but I have enjoyed a great meal, a crackling fire, a glorious sunset, a walk with a friend, a hug from a child, a cup of soup, a kiss behind the ear. There are plenty of life's tiny delights for all of us."


-- Jack Anthony

It was a series of tiny delights and big laughs through the hours of degneracy that many bloggers took part of in this past weekend.  No one walked, limped, or stumbled away from Greenville, SC that attended Mastodon Weekend without a story of fine dining, a quiet heart-to-heart talk, or losing a prop bet to the many gamblers that flew into this little-big town to awaken startled barkeeps with their penchant for good drink. 

For myself, it was awakening taste buds to things never before tried like sushi at Azia (very good, and love the three rolls that found their way to my mouth), the deep fried shrimp with lime at Sharkey's Pub, and a crab cake (I needed a strategically placed cloth napkin after trying this delight at the beautiful Rick Erwin's West End Grill). Of course you need something to wash down the culinary delights, and Greenville's beer selection knocked me, well, not sideways but definitely tipped my tall frame less than perpendicular to the ground.  The each bar visted had several beers beyond the Budweiser/Coors Light staples that sedated the beer snob in me.  First prize however goes to Barley's Taproom.  The sheer amount of Tripels and Quads in bottles and on tap was staggering as I was after hitting up a few of my favorites like the Koningshoeven Quad and Unibroue La Fin du Monde.  While I didn't try the food, the beer helped fuel a few bar prop bets that apparently I won since Sunday morning there were several cringled bills in my right pocket.

While the food and drink accented things it was the people who made the weekend one of those that make every meeting of these generous friends memorable.  The local organizers consisting of Otis, Badblood, The Mark, and G-Rob turned Greenville into a non-stop weekend party.  The standing ovation count for The Mark's business connections nearly hit double digits as our private poker party on Friday night sponsored by the good people at Bustout Poker which included the lovely Nikki (who I will admit looked even better in person).  The tournament was run professionally (my play could only be described as "putrid" but at least the Good Doctor and the actual Doctor kept me company while I folded an endless stream of 73o), and cash game that immediately followed with again the talented Greenville dealers and very attractive waitstaff that my eyes may have glanced at once than once.  Or maybe they were looking at my shirt (photo credit to Pauly).

Saturday morning we got to do this:



GRob hosted this side trip to Timmons Park and was completely correct as to my non-Frolfing skillz.  If you like money, find a way to get the idiot writing here to put a wager down on throwing pieces of plastic into chain coifed buckets.  Although if hitting water, thorny bushes, or trees was the game I'm the next Nikko Locastro (that's a real Disc Golf champion BG).  Now this isn't to be confused with hitting pool balls with a cue or throwing barroom shuffleboard, those games I'll gladly accept most challenges.  But, outside the air and weather was a perfect backdrop to the upcoming bar crawl later that evening.

Hole 1: Blue Ridge Brewing 
Hole 2: Smiley’s Acoustic Café (111 Augusta Street) 4:35-5:35pm

Hole 3: Chicora Alley (608 S. Main Street) 5:45-6:20pm
Hole 4: Oysters on the West End (11 W. Camperdown Way)6:30-7:30pm
Hole 5: The Gathering Spot (103 N. Main Street) 8:00-8:30pm
Hole 6: Meat Heads (109 N. Main Street Street) 8:30-9:40pm
Hole 7: Wild Wing Café (15 W. Washington Street) 9:45-10:45pm
Hole 8. Muraski (4 S. Main Street) 10:45-11:15pm
Hole 9: Connolly’s Irish Pub (24 E. Court Street) 11:30—Close

That was the original list but we were swarming so many bars I'd lost track, mainly due to women challenging me to drinking prop bets (which I let down my gender and lost EVEN AT SLAMMING A CAPTAIN AND COKE thus ripping my manhood from my gray BVDs!!!1111).  But each place had a separate vibe, no chain bars here as I loved each one for it's originalty.  The night and the party does have to end and as we closed down Connolly's for the third consecutive night there were the bloggers continuing to kick this party until the ugly lights were forced upon us at 2am.  Rumors of air guitar being played in the side streets at 2:30am and certain near deaf bloggers actually having meaningful conversations in crowded bar are highly spectulative.

Once again I find myself here writing, knowing it will be awhile before getting to enjoy their company again, no amount of cash money that I have or will make can ever compare to what they have given me (you know who you are whether you'd like to admit it or not).  Some more than others but all important, and if you'll excuse me it's getting dusty in here and there's some reading I need do catch up on.

VIP for the Low Roller

Tried a little experiment last night.

No, it did not envolve my wife, the Adam and Eve diry schoolgirl pack, or copulous amounts of Captain Morgan "Bite" (if you like lime in your Cap'n Coke I suggest give it at least a try, but snobbish me likes the real thing if I can be bothered to quarter them after buying the $.49 pack of citrus at Target).  Since this is was a poker blog you get poker more often than poke her news which if her parents are reading happened just three times over the past 12 years.

Had to test the goods before breeding of course.

Anyhow...   this month is a slight dip back into the playing pool of FPPs, FTPs, and any other acronyms used at the various poker sites for their frequent player points/VIP programs.  My intent is to achieve SilverStar again at Stars, and some variation of Iron Man at Full Tilt (this is split into Bronze, Silver, Gold, IRON MAN *cue Ozzy to jump out of your laptop looking a bit confuzzled asking you to score some Oxycontin while the rest of Black Sabbath starts up the BBBWWWWWOOOOWWWW I. AM. IRON. MAN).  Thanks to the new heroin of poker, Rush Poker is allowing people like myself (low rollers who don't keep a lot of cash online) to achieve status at their site so I can purchase a couple of college educations from their FTP store.  Saves a lot of trouble scrapping by on ramen noodles and our new peddle-powered cars so that my kids can enjoy the wonders of Anthropology 201:  The Study of Ancient Byzantine Sponges at the college of their choice.

Or that nikon camera might come in handy hitting up the beach for the two weeks during the summer that we can be outside from 1:00-1:15pm without having to wear five layers.  I kid, its actually three weeks and thanks to global warming there's an extra five minutes of beach volleyball and sand castles.

To the poker!  Ok, I fired up the following to see which would produce the most "points" at the two sites mentioned above in beautiful blue underline because I enjoy both and have friends working there so please support them or you're responsible for pulling them away from the back row of Mr. Cashman two cent slot machines at the Four Queens as they try to win back their once stable paycheck while double fisting $.99 shrimp cocktails with the pissed off look of someone who just had their puppy kicked.  No pressure.

Full Tilt:  One famous "Rush Poker" table $.25/$.50 blinds (because I'm a BALLER!)
PokerStars:  Eight No Limit Omaha 8 or Better tables with $.25/$.50 blinds and a complete lack of bankroll management since I keep no more than $600 on the site at all times

The play lasted for about ninety minutes as AlCantHang hopped on the girly chat and Twitter with pictures of those delicious TastyKakes only found in the heavily wooded area of Pennsyltucky which made my mind wander back to the greatest convenience store in the world, and also the site where I spent a little time with two police officers and failing horribly to appear sober while slobbering on a freshly made philly cheesesteak after last call at the Boathouse.

Zero focus, good for writing, bad for poker.  Live and learn on the interwebs folks we're here for you.

Ok, after ninety minutes of half attention I manage to not blow my meager bankrolls at the respective sites and managed to shuffle cash from one site to the other as par on most nights when I play at both.

PokerStars:  +$42.89
Full Tilt:  -$29.24

Since I do not play NLHE cash games often without being surrounded by the good folks who normally come here, what's with the new "let's-limp-aces-and-call-everything" style of play seen at Full Tilt?  The monsters under the bed radar goes way up after a can of Surly Furious and seeing this passive to the extreme play no less than four times in 90 minutes.  While I never played them for stacks, I did crack the aces twice with two pair simply because check-call all the way down is better left for a limit game.  Nonetheless, there were no horrible stackings after being down over a buy-in, I only lost a little less than a buy-in thanks to a flopped set of jacks and someone who just couldn't fold his/her pocket fours in the last five minutes of the session.

PokerStars went better despite getting stacked five minutes after pouring said beer, and in puke-and-rally form made a decent profit on the night thanks to people who try playing Omaha Hi in a split game.

The important stuff:

Full Tilt:  147.16 FTPs  (last 15 minutes of play was during "Happy Hour" thus points were doubled, would have waited for Happy Hour to start, but sleep is a fun thing to do when your daughter is bound to wake you at 2am to search for her Rainbow Care Bear)
PokerStars:  225.18 VPPs

Note:  PokerStars gives you VPPs to "rank" you in their VIP hierarchy but gives you FPPs at the same rate while multiplied by your "rank".  Example:  as a "SilverStar" I get a 1.5 multipler so I received *gets calculator* 337.77 FPPs to use in their store last night.

I thought it would be a wash but mutli-tabling still held king over the crack table BUT the risk of ruin is much higher with funds so far spread out, I'll continue this little experiment throughout the month as time and cookie monster kids permit as there's a poker game in G-Vegas next month that I will flying out for and need the practice against people who treat chips like lego blocks.