Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The 79,200 Inch Run For The Roses

I don't know if anyone noticed but there's a sizable horse race coming up and no whiff of LEGAL internet wagering on said horse race.

The employees of that wonderful roast beef snack shop, Arby's, need to stop testing my squirrel-sized brain. I was in my happy place, my team won a softball national qualifer, my window was rolled down taking in the beautiful Minnesota day along I-94, and the 5 for $5.95 special at Arby's was about to take care of my malnutrition of drinking a couple of flat Coors Lights after an entire day of rather competitive play at the fields and no Snickers to satisfy my hunger.

My wife requested one roast beef sandwich, bun, Arby's sauce, and hold the government tub of nacho cheese (which I love). Since she took take of the kids all day while her husband was busy working on a farmer's tan at a remote softball field, I figured obtaining a round disc of beef and bread with no dairy products should be a simple request to fulfill.

But nay.

"Can I take your order, sir?"

"Yes, you can, I would like the 5 for $5.95 special"


"Two Arby's Melts, Two Curly Fries, and one Regular roast beef sandwich"

"Sir, you can't order a regular sandwich"


"But, you can have an Arby Melt without cheese"


"Sir? Are you there?"

If you know what the other person means, is there a reason to make those tiny pistons in someone elses brain to run hot enough to reach maximum viscosity and thermal breakdown (kudos if you know the brand of motor oil)?

Thanks for dropping by, now remember the Mooooookie is tonight, expect my weak-tight ninja cow (hat tip to Wicked Chops for the clip) game unless we receive some bad news about an ailing grandmother.

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