Monday, February 15, 2010

It's Just Science Folks

condensation (kŏn'dĕn-sā'shən)


The act of condensing.

The state of being condensed.
A condensate.
An abridgement or shortening of something, especially of a written work or speech.
The process by which a gas or vapor changes to a liquid.
The liquid so formed.
Chemistry. A chemical reaction in which water or another simple substance is released by the combination of two or more molecules.
Psychology. The process by which a single symbol or word is associated with the emotional content of several, not necessarily related, ideas, feelings, memories, or impulses, especially as expressed in dreams.

Ok, people or persons driving this morning who do not understand such wild and seemingly difficult subjects such as math and sit around watching Yo Gabba Gabba all day while contemplating on whether making a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch may be too difficult, please take in this brief science lesson.  Condensation are those little droplets on your windshield, magically and not from Hogwarts, those droplets may find their way to the driving surface found below your tires.  Which brings us to the second BIG term you seem to be unable to grasp from the slow morning commute:
Friction (frĭk'shən)

The rubbing of one object or surface against another.
Conflict, as between persons having dissimilar ideas or interests; clash.
Physics. A force that resists the relative motion or tendency to such motion of two bodies or substances in contact.

You see, your tires are specialy made to create friction with the driving surface.  Without that friction you would float off to space and be shot down by a horde of Tie Fighters then ravishly raped by a 20 penis-tentacled monster from the 5th moon of Endor.  Condensation on the driving surface causes less friction in turn does not give you the ability to attempt that last second four lane change to hit the 694 Eest - 169 South off ramp.  Most likely you will end up in a snow bank with paramedics and half-awake police officers who were ready to punch the time clock on the graveyard shift, shaking their collective heads at your stupid ass as your brand new Honda Civic ran into:
Ice (īs)
Water frozen solid.
A surface, layer, or mass of frozen water.
Something resembling frozen water: ammonia ice.
A frozen dessert consisting of water, sugar, and a liquid flavoring, often fruit juice.
Cake frosting; icing.
Slang. Diamonds.
Sports. The playing field in ice hockey; the rink.
Extreme unfriendliness or reserve.
Slang. A payment over the listed price of a ticket for a public event.
Slang. Methamphetamine.

What might have seem like a nice fluffy snowbank was an NFL offensive line wall of brick hard ICE due to the transformation of slush bring cooled down by the night-time temperatures.  Now you got no money, and got no car, then you got no woman so there you are.  I suggest just going to:

Because you sure the hell aren't going to get to work today.  Thanks for the freeway light show this morning idiots.

1 comment:

Bayne_S said...,0,3916943.photogallery

At least 30 people here don't understand adjust your driving for conditions