The rain would hit the hood of a ski jacket that had seen its better days. A cigarette burn just below right second pouch, a reminder of the last time the garment actually saw a slope of snow other than its front yard. The dark blue color fading sightly, but not so much to match Tar Heels baby blue. The crackle of rain off the hood amplified by hearing aids sounded similar to the omnipresent fresh popcorn maker which was used last on Sunday night as the family has taken to watching "Family Game Night" on Hub network while munching on the freshly popped corn with too much cheddar seasoning.
Its rough coming back after rejection, walking through puddles towards the office. If you followed my Twitter feed yesterday knowing that another candidate was chosen for the promotion I applied for. Knowing from the first syllable and tone of voice with the recorded message that it was not positive, then listening to a very ambiguous HR rehash of the reasoning left me more confused than hurt. While at the time my plans were to punch a few kittens to alleviate any inner-pain, sorting through the interview and whether or not it was worth the feline violence seemed better for the Meow Mix crowd and any karmatic retribution.
Luckily I have an awesome supervisor and friends who offer their experience as mine in this situation is extremely limited. She offered a few explanations that fit the mold of how the interview went without even being there. As you know, I am very excitable, something I try to can at times but it's me and well, not gonna happen. I may have been too knowledgeable, too eager, too much for the job which was a small promotion, but nonetheless, one that would mark another step towards overcoming the darkness that plagued me for years.
Couple that with nearly dusting off my online poker bankroll on the weekend and you've got two days worth of suck. But these are VERY minor, personal problems (well, not the dusting because I'd never done that before in such a I-dont-give-a-shit way). But, this is a personal blog not a news outlet, a political sounding board, or a place that cures hunger, just me and a boring suburban life that takes enough twists and finding a few words along the way to enter on the Internet.
Will I be applying for another position? Yes.
Regrouping first to get the details and next time not coming off as used-car salesman trying pawn off a Pinto as a Maserati Quattroporte while interviewing. The first equation that came to mind was best qualifications = best candidate.
If my personality doesn't jib with those who work in the department, it doesn't matter how productive my cube may be if the rest of the time sits there seething. Just its their petty problem, but one the supervisor doesn't need if it can be easily fixed by finding someone who fits the need both talent and personality wide. Keeping an open mind to that rather than finding an excuse an hour to belittle the deserving person who did get hired will keep petty jealousy next to the stapler in my middle drawer.
The hearing aids will continue to pick up new sounds, and I continue to pick up experience until my name is called. Now, the poker issue, that's a different post, maybe one for a place for such things.