But, then the positive half of me said "shut the fuck up and have a drink you little bitch".
So I did.
Turns out there's good advice found underneath the self-wallowing, as in accept what people say, not what you perceive to be a participation medal.
Yesterday, I shoved all self-doubt out the window for a period of 1.5 hours in order to chat about a job with three different individuals of separate corporate importance. The results of the chats are not important, as we're not talking about a life-type changing position such as Craakker hammered down recently. More of a Q*Bert disc to float me away from the purple snake of immobility and stasis while continuing this revival of all things progressive in my life. (*side note, damn you Doc, I played that game for almost two hours last night really wished I knew what Q*Bert says behind the !@$$#!@ when the snake gets him). Q*BERT4ROLLZ?!?!?!
An interview something my monkey suit and tie have not seen for seven years, perhaps overdue, and certain during a time this body could use less stress not more. But, neccessary. New blood was needed, is needed, and just the attempt yesterday gave a much needed transfusion in my "career". The word "career" sounds pretentious when referring to the types of jobs held by myself up to this point, perhaps after I stand in front of my family in 2013 with a cap and gown there will be a reason to take down the quotation marks.
For now, I hoist The Mystical Cup of Collating Papers to Mr. Wil Wheaton, for showing that we're all human no matter what degree of "celebrity" one has attained and some of us can make other's day just by sitting at a desk with a devious smile and neatly alligned 8" by 11" pieces of paper in hand.
Mr. Wheaton, stay awesome.
To the rest of my readers, I thank you for your continued support and don't make it too long until we drink together again.
Oh, to celebrate my lets-wait-for-a-month-before-hearing-if-I-got-the-job-and-cant-sleep-until-I-know Grand Casino Hinckley was kind enough
(Yes, I know it's the beginning of Lent, but my kids do not attend a Catholic/Christian school)