Did you know that donkeys kill more people annually then plane crashes? Remember this next time your Aces get called down by someone with eight-three offsuit and hits two pair on the river.
It felt like spring yesterday here in the frozen north as the outside mall area saw people shaking off ice chunks on their ski jackets to enjoy the 30 degree temps. We took the opportunity to take the kids out for a walk and browse the different kitchen wares (how many knives does a chef really need?!!), mass produced scented soaps and oils of Bath and Body Works, and lose the rest of my hearing going by the Hollister store. Stupid pretty people.
A strange thing happened as we stepped inside Pottery Barn for kids, and maybe it was strange since I spent the earlier part of the afternoon taking money from Scott Fischman at the PLO8 tables and voluntarily raising my blood alcohol levels while watching Tiger Woods remind me that golfing is easy on the couch. The other stores had rather attractive, albeit younger then I, female clientele but when we entered the Pottery Barn for Kids several fat women with bloated stomachs and very loud T-shirts exclaiming “Party at my crib!” and “These feet are made for crawling” threatened to knock over every overpriced French to English color wheel (do kids really need to know what color Periwinkle is???) and organic navy blue towel set within their sizable girth.
They did have nice tits however.
Poker was meh, except for Pauly’s PLO tourney on Saturday which rocked due to the people playing. I thank the good doctor for taking time out from his busy schedule to put together a blogger tourney that’s more for the fun versus card prowlness. Yes, I was the bubble boy but I’ll gladly spend eleven bucks to sling cards with friends of a couple of hours. Even with the pending BBT3 on the horizon, make sure you mark this one down to relax to.
Showing posts with label Shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shopping. Show all posts
Monday, February 25, 2008
Monday, November 26, 2007
I'll Take the Green One in 34C Please
I heard a commercial where a jewelry store proclaimed to “double certify” their diamonds and other precious gems.
Does that mean the first certification isn’t reliable enough that they had to do it twice? Luckily I have a spouse that isn’t into jewelry, instead she managed to single handedly raise my company’s stock up three points over the weekend with her four foot long receipt from shopping on Friday.
If you have plan on attack on how to enter a Target store and only purchasing the items you wanted in the first place, my checking account balance would love to hear it.
Poker and I are not talking again; she’s being a bitch without her happy pills and constant backstabbing by sucking on the neck of that Abercrombie and Fitch model standing by the pull tab booth with a three umbrella Mai Tai in his hand. But, like the pussy whipped high school horndog with a three year old condom in my wallet I am, you’ll see me at the Hoy tonight staring at her boobs hoping she’ll dip down to pick up her purse for a nice view down her shirt. Do Victoria’s Secret salepersons do this on purpose? Seriously, while going in there with the wife and having Wyatt pick out a few boob holders for the wife (dark green and one with stars on it) four different salepersons made sure that their feminine bits were hanging out far enough that I thought about offering $40 for a two song dance. After shopping for six hours the peep show was a welcome sight but I got slapped after asking the sale associate to model the complimentary g-string my wife got.
Football.
I enjoyed the game.
I still don’t think the Vikes are going to the playoffs. The jury is still out on Jackson, but he earned some points by not looking like Richard Pryor in “The Toy” while in the pocket and/or deciding to run. Eli decided to give his brother a live tutorial on bad quartbacking against a weak pass defense. More consistency is needed before the Purple can return to being a playoff team again, so don't make Purple Jesus cry against the Lions this week.
Just because the Vikes have an outside shot of the playoffs should it change when the Divine One returns to the Metrodome turf? In my opinion, no, He should sit, get fully healthy then return to His glory between the white lines.
Amen.
Does that mean the first certification isn’t reliable enough that they had to do it twice? Luckily I have a spouse that isn’t into jewelry, instead she managed to single handedly raise my company’s stock up three points over the weekend with her four foot long receipt from shopping on Friday.
If you have plan on attack on how to enter a Target store and only purchasing the items you wanted in the first place, my checking account balance would love to hear it.
Poker and I are not talking again; she’s being a bitch without her happy pills and constant backstabbing by sucking on the neck of that Abercrombie and Fitch model standing by the pull tab booth with a three umbrella Mai Tai in his hand. But, like the pussy whipped high school horndog with a three year old condom in my wallet I am, you’ll see me at the Hoy tonight staring at her boobs hoping she’ll dip down to pick up her purse for a nice view down her shirt. Do Victoria’s Secret salepersons do this on purpose? Seriously, while going in there with the wife and having Wyatt pick out a few boob holders for the wife (dark green and one with stars on it) four different salepersons made sure that their feminine bits were hanging out far enough that I thought about offering $40 for a two song dance. After shopping for six hours the peep show was a welcome sight but I got slapped after asking the sale associate to model the complimentary g-string my wife got.
Football.
I enjoyed the game.
I still don’t think the Vikes are going to the playoffs. The jury is still out on Jackson, but he earned some points by not looking like Richard Pryor in “The Toy” while in the pocket and/or deciding to run. Eli decided to give his brother a live tutorial on bad quartbacking against a weak pass defense. More consistency is needed before the Purple can return to being a playoff team again, so don't make Purple Jesus cry against the Lions this week.
Just because the Vikes have an outside shot of the playoffs should it change when the Divine One returns to the Metrodome turf? In my opinion, no, He should sit, get fully healthy then return to His glory between the white lines.
Amen.
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