Gambling Mexican Style with Refried Beans and Rice

If you like even an iota of sports you probably watched the exciting ending to The Masters yesterday and today thousands of bloggers will pummel you with Spaceballs quotes.  MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE IN THE HOLE!  HIS SCHWARTZ IS MUCH BIGGER THAN YOURS!  Somewhere Mel Brooks is gearing up the distribute Spaceballs the Loft Wedge and Spaceballs the Divot Repair Tool.

Just remember who set the trend before the South African even stepped up to the first tee at Augusta National.

This guy.  

Not really, I thought Bo Van Pelt and the rest of the crew from the Grand Ole Opry would gank the green jacket yesterday.

I looked up this morning and saw it was April already meaning time is not exactly slowing down for this multi-tasking white boy, but at I can open the windows now without fear of catching frostbite while typing up the Sunday Warm-up wrap at PokerStarsBlog.  Or mindless entertainment from DragonAge 2 which will be in place until the poker gods decide to stop the spankings that would make a submissive scream the safety word.  January to Mid-March = Awesome, Mid-March to yesterday = fuck you very much

Subtle.

See?  Poker whines can be condensed to small packages in which you owe no one a dollar and they don't hop screens to read about Paris Hilton's new favorite orifice to hide crack rocks on TMZ.  If I can find my Flip camera, I'll try to post a wonderful short documentary on How to Survive a Mexican Bathroom by drunk Drizz in which I don't remember a thing and my wife's photos from Facebook were the only reminder that I was there.  That and some bruises from trying to arm wrestle with a beefed-up gringo slinging $2 movies named Jhonny.  Oh, and extending my reach of degeneracy to the younger aged members on Nuevo Progresso as seen below:

It's no Mr. Cashman, but the slot machine does pay out just not to me

I put in a dollar (12 pesos) and sadly did not win enough to feed the multitude of beggers along the streets.  But I did have enough for a Mexican Mojito which consist of nothing but alcohol with a faint splash of club soda.  Faint as in pouring as long as your four year old's attention span while Phineas and Ferb are on and you're trying to ask them what they'd like for dinner.

Good day.

This Calls For More PAI GOW!

Wilson Phillips is reserved for WPBT trips so today you get:




See ya on the other side of soberity and degeneracy. 

Are Those Real?

Soon I will be visiting the land that silicone and professional athletes built with a few friends, and was hoping for a couple of tips for these establishments that offer free buffets and bOObies!

I’ve already asked the female friend type one of these questions, and thank her gracefully for her unabashed answers.

- I know tipping the dancers in these adult playgrounds will warrant a slap in the face from the good doctor, do you tip the bouncers/bartender?

- If you are choosing to spend two songs of private time with a young lady of questionable morals (not that mine will earn me sainthood), are there physical signs of a well trained dancologist I should look for?

- Since its been several years visiting such an establishment and knowing displays of female flesh beyond a bare shoulder will cause the need to make subtle adjustments during the above mentioned dance to avoid tent-like wardrobe embarrassments, will the future actress, lawyer, pet shop cashier be turned off enough to call over “Red” from the front door and stamp “pervert” on my forehead while tossing my 6’4” frame like a Olympic decathlete throwing a javelin into the streets?

- Are there any other precautions an amateur should take to avoid getting “taken” at these time honored establishments?

I humbly thank you for taking the time to prevent a night of fun from turning into explaining to my wife why I’m missing a few teeth with glitter on my Minnesota Twins boxers.

Thanks for dropping by, now did anyone play in the Bodog blogger tourney last night? I was at softball and wondered if people were able to play or transfer moneys into the site.

Checklist For Bodily Destruction

Two tickets to McCarran Airport - Check

Suitcases not packed by me - Check

Bankroll to obtain round disks of monetary value at various casinos - Check

Liver - Questionable, but is a game time decision

Two tickets to Folies Bergere - Check

Spousal unit in a good mood - Will know more after Wednesday night, currently all smiles

Minnesota Sports Jersey - Gophers Hockey or Vikings? (I'm leaning towards Lucia's crew)

Lack of sleep for the past two weeks - Check

Poker hot streak before going to Vegas - Not exactly, but I'm still having fun

Random porn viewed for desensitization to four days of too much cleavage and women wearing less than six layers of clothing - Hmmmm Candy Canes


Two days.