Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Tubes Are Getting Clogged

People confuse me.

To be honest, lots of things confuse me, such as the wardrobe selections of our waitress last night. She did have a nice figure, curves in the right places, which was complimented by a easy-going smile. But this wasn't Hooters or any Las Vegas casino. And it wasn't that I minded her placing her ample cleavage within a nose length several times by reaching over the table to refill my macro-brew emptied glass. But, if it was an attempt to acquire a few extra nickels onto her tip...

It worked. I'm such a sucker for bOObs.


Now I may be WAY off base here and it certainly wouldn't be the first time, and I'm sure despite the very personalized email I'm not the only one who received this seemingly hypocritical message from eBay:

Dear hrking275 (actually I like to captialize the h-r-k because its cool like that but I'll let it slide),

As you know, I almost never reach out to you personally with a request to get involved in a debate in the U.S. Congress.

The key word is personal, I'm sure the CEO of a major corporation cares about my stance in political matters... when it effects them

However, today I feel I must.

This sounds important, let me get the popcorn, and watch The Daily Show so I'm up to speed on the latest Government type stuff since I barely know the difference between a Republican and a Democrat

Right now, the telephone and cable companies in control of Internet access are trying to use their enormous political muscle to dramatically change the Internet. It might be hard to believe, but lawmakers in Washington are seriously debating whether consumers should be free to use the Internet as they want in the future.

Yeah, unlike your stance right here, eh Meg? Oh, and this gem of a letter as well.

Join me by clicking here -- -- to send a message to your representatives in Congress.

I'll stick with the Poker Players Alliance for contacting the government on this type of issue thankyouverymuch.

The phone and cable companies now control more than 95% of all Internet access. These large corporations are spending millions of dollars to promote legislation that would allow them to divide the Internet into a two-tiered system.

The top tier would be a "Pay-to-Play" high-speed toll-road restricted to only the largest companies that can afford to pay high fees for preferential access to the Net.

I already pay a decent chunk of change to view Jenna Jamison's latest "hits" over the information super-highway and they want MORE money? Is the price of internets going up because of the war in Iraq?

The bottom tier -- the slow lane -- would be what is left for everyone else. If the fast lane is the information "super-highway," the slow lane will operate more like a dirt road.

Slower service? I doubt this would be legal since wouldn't this be the equivilent of buying a Porsche and having the dealer come out after two years to rip out the engine and replace it with a Yugo's? I might be wrong here in my comprehension of the statement, again wouldn't be the first time.

Today's Internet is an incredible open marketplace for goods, services, information and ideas. We can't give that up. A two-lane system will restrict innovation because start-ups and small companies -- the companies that can't afford the high fees -- will be unable to succeed, and we'll lose out on the jobs, creativity and inspiration that come with them.

Two-lanes? What happened to the series of tubes?

The power belongs with Internet users, not the big phone and cable companies. Let's use that power to send as many messages as possible to our elected officials in Washington. Please join me by (Link Removed) right now to send a message to your representatives in Congress before it is too late. You can make the difference.

Been there, tried that. If I wanted one-sided chain letters from polticial types I'd open up an email from CEOs. Oh wait...

Thank you for reading this note.

I do my best.

I hope you'll make your voice heard today.

I sang in the shower this morning, does that count?


Meg Whitman

President and CEO

eBay Inc.


Ugh. I'm turning into a bitchy old man, I blame this pinched nerve in my neck that makes me feel like I'm wearing a veterinarian-approve itch cone because turning incorrectly induces a shock similar to finding out that Lance Bass was gay.

Ok, maybe not that shocking.

Or maybe its because my lack of poker play lately has been building up like that five pound porterhouse you ate last night. Playing a freeroll for two hours knowing you can't stay up to finish it just doesn't cut it. Maybe tonight's the night. Then again I thought Sunday was the night but I got a speech about her not knowing if the birth control pills have kicked in yet. Offers of condoms and evasive firehose tactics were shot down.

At least some kind bloggers have been providing eye candy from the WSOP. My peppermint lotion thanks you.

Thanks for dropping by, now raise your hand if you got that eBay email and if you have any thoughts on it leave a message. I'd like to know if I'm just reading it wrong or if they are really being hypocritical with their "don't censor the internet" message. Similar but not the same perhaps?

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