A Poke of Sunlight

I'm too wired about Vegas to write anything of substance right now. Or it could be the fact that the theory of inverse stupidity tournament play panned out yet again.

The Theorem rule is basically this...

If you want to bust out of a lower buy-in tourney to get some sleep due to life hitting you like the wind chill in Minnesota while crossing a darkened parking lot at 5:30am, you will suckout like a fluffer in a web cam gang bang.

After I took A8 (personally I call this "The Fat Tourist") with my micro stack against QQ and sucked out trip8s, I managed to chip up enough during the Omaha rounds of the Dookie to get to heads up with a fellow Cap'n Coke drunkard Hoy. Congrats to Hoy on taking care of that 750ml of Morgan and my weak play like a pro.

I'll be at the Mall of America this weekend for a little mini-vacation with the family. The waterpark/hotel two day stay was my penance to join you degenerates next week. Cheers.

8 days.

Edit: Fuck the NFL Network for monopolizing a very good football game tonight. Despite having a deep dislike for both teams, good football is good football and forcing me to go to a bar that will mostly likely contain 95% Farve Fanbois to view the contest is plain rude of them.

There better be 2 for 1s

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Do these commericials on the radio and TV that use a popular holiday song and cleverly sprinkle in plugs for their products while retaining the melody of the jingle make you want to punch someone in the face?

I think I need an almond bark dipped pretzel and maybe some freshly made chex mix (not that pre made crap in a bag) to get this grinch into the holiday spirit.

Or maybe the itch for Vegas is blowing out to a full body rash.

9 Days.

Tomorrow Isn't Looking Good Either

Last night epitomized my journey through the wrong side of the percentages as I continued my 0 for Hoy streak to the point that I’m done donating money. I’m not a rebuy tournament player although I understand the basic strategies behind it, but with a month long losing streak my psyche wasn’t in the right place for dishing out more then the four buy ins I gave away after my flopped top two couldn't run down someone's higher kicker on the river.

To add insult to injury, I managed to bubble a Razz MTT after almost three hours when someone wouldn’t let go of his 9 doorcard versus my 8 on fifth street and managed a runner runner 6 low. Two negatives make a positive?

Kinda hard to write about poker when the negative results pile up, granted I did have a seven month win streak prior to this but when the other side of the coin comes and your ego dries up like Florida retiree’s skin just typing words feels like boulders resting on your fingertips. Good luck to those in the running for Oz, I wish you the best while I go back to more enjoyable activities like throwing myself off the roof of my house.

Peace.

I'll Take the Green One in 34C Please

I heard a commercial where a jewelry store proclaimed to “double certify” their diamonds and other precious gems.

Does that mean the first certification isn’t reliable enough that they had to do it twice? Luckily I have a spouse that isn’t into jewelry, instead she managed to single handedly raise my company’s stock up three points over the weekend with her four foot long receipt from shopping on Friday.

If you have plan on attack on how to enter a Target store and only purchasing the items you wanted in the first place, my checking account balance would love to hear it.

Poker and I are not talking again; she’s being a bitch without her happy pills and constant backstabbing by sucking on the neck of that Abercrombie and Fitch model standing by the pull tab booth with a three umbrella Mai Tai in his hand. But, like the pussy whipped high school horndog with a three year old condom in my wallet I am, you’ll see me at the Hoy tonight staring at her boobs hoping she’ll dip down to pick up her purse for a nice view down her shirt. Do Victoria’s Secret salepersons do this on purpose? Seriously, while going in there with the wife and having Wyatt pick out a few boob holders for the wife (dark green and one with stars on it) four different salepersons made sure that their feminine bits were hanging out far enough that I thought about offering $40 for a two song dance. After shopping for six hours the peep show was a welcome sight but I got slapped after asking the sale associate to model the complimentary g-string my wife got.

Football.

I enjoyed the game.

I still don’t think the Vikes are going to the playoffs. The jury is still out on Jackson, but he earned some points by not looking like Richard Pryor in “The Toy” while in the pocket and/or deciding to run. Eli decided to give his brother a live tutorial on bad quartbacking against a weak pass defense. More consistency is needed before the Purple can return to being a playoff team again, so don't make Purple Jesus cry against the Lions this week.

Just because the Vikes have an outside shot of the playoffs should it change when the Divine One returns to the Metrodome turf? In my opinion, no, He should sit, get fully healthy then return to His glory between the white lines.

Amen.

Merry Thanksgiving

Today I'm joining the masses with the boy to obtain a gift for the wife. My plan of attack against the swarm of housewives vying for that $2.99 57" Plasma HDTV and finding just the right present?

I'm going to have Wyatt point at something and that's what she's getting.

I think we'll start at Victoria's Secret.

Have a great weekend folks as the clock ticks further towards Vegas.

Who's The Real Donkey?

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame
someone else.

-- John Burroughs

When your chip stack proclaims a fat zero dollars, euros, drachmas, or loonies what is your first thought?

“That donkey sucked out on me, this game is rigged so bad players keep winning!”

“WTF!! How could he call with that crap when he should have been thinking I had the flush that I represented!”

“Coin flip taken, coin flip lost, poker sucks”

Now look at each statement in a different way:

“Oh, it was only small percentage of his stack to call, and he had the chance to knock someone out with two cards that were likely live”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to outplay him/her because “a move” is only as good as the other person holding cards”

“My stack was getting low and I took a chance that didn’t pan out where’s my new Cap’n Coke at?”

As I watched the running virtual spades drop last night I turned off the monitor, said my good nights and good lucks to Speaker who was motoring along in the 28K guarantee at Full Tilt as I busted somewhere in the 200s. Sure I had the opening raising small blind dominated with my QJs vs. his Q3s, sure I flopped a Jack to force running cards to beat me, but I didn’t place any blame. Maybe it’s the numbness after losing for a solid four weeks, or maybe I finally realized that instead of cursing the RNG for delivering the runner runner flush to the elephant, I could feel good about putting my money in good AND feel ok with his aggressive play that just got lucky.

I only had 8 BBs left behind and was ripe for someone to try to steal my blinds, but with QJs and hopefully live cards I was ready to push them in against any single raiser and no callers.

So, instead of tossing the cat towards Lake Superior and rambling off a tirade that would make George Carlin blush, I went to bed with the Mookie tonight on my mind because unfortunately I haven’t been playing in as many BBT2 events as I’ve wanted to. And I’d like to go to Australia.

See you tonight.

WPBT: Five Points to Follow

WPBT notes because its like only 17 days away and some people haven't even been to Vegas before!!





First and foremost, unless you don't read blogs, Dr. Pauly's tips on surviving a weekend with the bloggers should be your first read before heading to the Imperial Palace Geisha Bar to meet your favorite scribes. Take special note of number two, do not attempt a re-creation of my strip-wide wheelchair ride. I had a personal reason for going on a bender like that, and it had nothing to do with my birthday (which falls on the Saturday while we're there again) or trying to keep up with Al.





Second, make sure you're following the skinny playwright in a plaid skirt blog. Latest update on the tourney pushed it back to 3pm with advice to drink heavily. I plan to follow the sage's words.





Third, check out the prop board at this golfing pro's site: Number #42 for StB is a sucker's bet, he'll clear that before the kickoff of the Cowboys game with ease. As for me and another wheelchair ride, I don't plan on it, but I didn't plan on riding a mechanical bull in Key West either.





Fourth, while you'll be surrounded by people you read everyday, free booze, and free porn slapping, make sure you take time to do a little "raging solo". I tend to do this at eight or so in the morning and get text messages from concerned bloggers like "Are you still alive dude?" since I rarely even visit the hotel room . Personally, I go grab a breakfast sandwich or buffet (MGM is awesome) then just railbird some gaming tables or take a walk down the strip in my shorts and t-shirt to point and laugh at those who are wearing snowsuits and mittens while hitting up the porn slappers for fresh off the press boobies.





Fifth, if you see this stare while you're looking at top pair top kicker (pic courtesy of Otis):

You're about to get check-raised for your stack. Fold.

Thanks for dropping by, now as I mentioned a need for the World Series of Pai Gow... Otis delievers. Get your bets and greyhounds ready!!!

It Tastes Like Unflavored Water

You heard it here first.

The Vikes are not going to the playoffs this year.

Shocking I know, and please put down all liquids before reading that or it may stain your computer monitor or make the keys on your laptop sticky.

The Purple won, but was it exciting? It felt like they took down a $1 SnG when your bankroll is in the thousands. Fun, yes, but did do anything to advance the team’s bottom line towards becoming a solid playoff team again? Not really, they beat a worse team at home while fumbling more times then your first attempt to hit on that hot blonde with the Cosmo in her finely manicured hand after getting your ass handed to you by your friends while playing $20 a game eight ball at the local Dave and Busters.

If you took Chester Taylor yesterday for your Fantasy Football Live team? Well done. My Purple Jesus glasses forgot that the front line has been dominating all year at home and you could put Ki-Jana Carter back there and he’d rack up 100+ and a touchdown at least. And for those who have prayed to the Enlightened One for fantasy glory… he’s running lightly again, and could be back next week (but in my opinion he shouldn’t come back all year).

Do you feel dirty if you had T.O. or Randy Moss in your FSL team yesterday? Or if you finally cashed after 10 weeks but LOST TO A GIRL?!?!? Sigh.

Ben Watson can kiss my frozen Nordic ass for his garbage TD which cost me the victory in a game that looked like the freshmen team taking on the varsity squad. Those Pats can play.

Due to sheer exhaustion, I bowed out of the Big Game last night with regrets for the great job this BBT2 series has been. Had it been a $10 buy in tourney I probably would play, but for “higher” stakes I want to bring my best game to the table and not waste $75 just for the sake of being there. I’ll return tonight to open shove my Aces five times in a row unless the malaise comes over me again.

Thanks for dropping by, now congrats to Jimmy Johnson for winning the NASCAR thingy!



He wins an almost year long competition worth millions and Sportscenter devotes an entire weekend to Barry Bonds while giving him a sound bite in between jacking off to Moss and T.O. this morning.

Things Not To Put On Your Dick: Part 2

While visiting a local Buffalo Wild Wings and my son enjoying the video game plastered right into the booth, we managed to have a meal together that didn't end with having to change anyone's clothes or apologize to the waitress for recreating the Normandy Invasion around the table using ketchup, spilled milk, and various bits of food that daughter deemed unworthy of digestion.

However, Wyatt had to use the restroom and after downing the gallon size pops you get dinner there (despite FREE REFILLS!) we all resigned to the bathroom.

Unfortunately for my lower region under my Cap'n Morgan boxers, I had used just a common napkin while extracting the unholiness hotness from my fingers that is injected into those "Blazin" wings and as I gave it a last shake the burn came on. I was left to suck it up as rinsing my dick off in the sink may have attracted unwanted male attention (not that there's anything wrong with that), not to mention explaining to my son why his father looked like Lucas after putting on the loaded jock strap without a bird bath nearby to put out the flame.

I think I have issues.

Have a good weekend folks, and good luck to those shooting for the big bucks in the FTOPS tourneys!

Away Game

Drizz will be attending a home game tomorrow that doesn't include the groomsmen from his wedding, degnerate gamblers who type letters on the internets and make prop bets on who gets up from a recliner first and whether not you can get fat, nor are they going to be related to myself.

It is in the ghetto (anywhere with Minneapolis in the address) so I'll be holstering my father Marine issued sidearm while welding my trusty softball bat in my right hand to bludgeon that potential bad man in the polo shirt with a little alligator on it into a pool of his own life blood should he break my 100 foot radius personal bubble.

Wish me luck.

Tonight, we'll bring sexy back to poker as its drunken poker night and time for me to attempt again to play tournament poker for an evening and push AQs into QQ because I totally rule at the pokers! The Cap'n Cokes will be tasty and hopefully I can make some money back making last longer bets with Speaker.

22 days till Vegas kids.

Open Question:

Is there a chance for the World Series of Pai Gow to happen? I suggest the Gold Coast (I miss the ice queen of a pit boss from there and I'm sure she hasn't been able to cope with life after I left).

Just a thought. Or we could make prop bets on who will pass out prior to putting their room key in the appropriate slot.

Just Because Its There

How to defeat tilt:

Helicopter fun!

Watch a Pug spin around like a blender

Don't play poker

Kick some monster's ass



Stop staring at the calendar with December 7th circled. 23 Days.

Learning To Walk Again

“Daddy, my left skate is a little loose”

Since I’ve recovered from my accident a lot of things have taken a different flavor in life. Coming to work is no longer a chore, but an opportunity. Being married is having a friend around, instead of someone to argue about the bills with. Having kids is a blessing and seeing them learn via mistakes and asking questions, is a funny live daily Improv show versus a burden.

Nothing however could help the flavor of this hot chocolate that plopped out of the vending machine. The smell of an ice arena is mixed between a crisp Northern Minnesota morning in November sitting on a wooden deck that is overseeing a lake with a sunrise peaking through the tall pines and that last trip to the compost site where you took that month old bag of wet grass, cursing your luck for throwing scissors with your spouse on who got the honor of dropping the clippings off.

The chatter of future hurried hockey moms and dads assembled their three and four year olds to give their kids a first taste of gliding on frozen water. Not yet do the parents display three buttons of kids with fake smiles in jerseys sponsored by Dave’s Sport Shop and Osseo Meats. Nor do they feel the wallet or purse pinching ways of thousands of dollars in shoulder pads, shin pads, breezers, and traveling hockey fees. Today wasn’t about competition on who’s kid could race through a slalom of orange cones the fastest or dribble a puck around the kid who got stuck playing goalie (my apologies to goalies out there but did you really pick that position when you were five???).

I stepped off the sport court designed to act as blade protectors and shuffled the boy onto the ice and into the arms of some PVC pipe contraption that acted as an on-ice walker. He waved back cautiously before high stepping out to the fairly attractive figure skating instructor with teased long blonde hair who was surrounded by various high school assistants that managed to stay upright on two skates without assistance. I remember using an upside down garbage can and my father’s constant sighs as crutches while picking myself off of the outdoor rinks which gave an incentive to stay as dry as possible or suffer a chill equal to seeing your parents hold up your copy of Big Busty Bangaroo 16.

Flashbacks of days leaping over the boards to join the fray and absorbing another hip check from some defensive dickhead who didn’t get enough motherly attention and felt that a 120 pound beanpole was a great target for humiliation of having his skates point towards the tin roof while in midair. Most nights my revenge was to put up a goal or shuffle off a pass to a breaking winger after cutting behind the net and hitting them in stride. Luckily my son won’t have to deal with a different sort of hurt between the blue lines. The pain of not hearing a whistle after the play has been blown dead. Sitting in the penalty box while listening to my coach/father explain to the stripped gentlemen that his son was not acting in malice as he took off on a breakaway after everyone else gave up, are memories I choose to bottle up.

Nowadays they have organizations for hearing impaired players, back then it was a two ton brick of embarrassment to go along with the other fights to figure out what life was all about growing up. Luckily my kids got my wife’s ears, and with a little more luck they’ll get their dad’s stick handling skillz and sense of the ice. I never wore my glasses while playing either making me the Helen Keller of hockey using blurred outlines of colors and faint sounds to make my decision to pass or cut around a defenseman.

Taking off his plastic skates, I’m seeing a need for new ones as the blades resemble the body of a 55’ Chevy truck that hasn’t seen action since Marty McFly almost kissed his mom. The red indents from the helmet and sweat on his forehead say all the words I need to see as I offer a box of popcorn to him from the concession stand that now serves “gourmet” coffee and full five course steak dinners.

“I had fun Daddy”

“So did I” as I try to hold back a tear or seven.

Thanks for dropping by, now let us pray to Purple Jesus on a speedy recovery.

Amen.

Knowing When To Quit

You done yet?
We need to go read Truckin'

You know the time, you look at your stack or what's left of it after the money went into the middle and you're a significant favorite to win and don't. Then you make the decision, or let the anger do it for you, and continue to play with the calmness of a Key West Afternoon Shift Stripper trying to pay her gas bill twenty bucks a dance through the recently retired accountant.

Read Truckin' while I go wallow in pre-Vegas tilt as the minutes tick away with the slowness of the timepieces in "3 O'clock High"

Truckin' - November 2007, Vol. 6, Issue 11


And we're back...



1. Existentialist Conversations with Strippers: The Afternoon Shift by Paul McGuire



The club was just the type of seedy place where you might find William Kennedy Smith or any other soused heirs to the Kennedy name, knocking back cheap scotch at 3 pm while aggressively fondling the sketchy girls with visible c-section scars and multiple fresh bruises all over their cracked-out bodies.... More



2. Lonesome Cowboy Bill by AlCantHang My comfort zone is a dive rock club where I can chain smoke, power drink, and have my head assaulted with decibels equivalent to a jumbo jet taking off. The next step down the ladder would be the pubs and bars the exist for sole purpose of its patrons getting blitzed on various hardcore drinks. Then comes the sports bars, strip clubs, snooty yuppie bars, and hotel watering holes. Near the very bottom would generally be any place that plays country music... More



3. Seven Minutes with Olga by Change100 Olga led me all the way to the back and sat me down. She took her top off and grabbed my hands, placing them on her very soft, very real breasts... More



4. The Sleep Deprived Memoirs of I by Sigge S. Amdal I might as well go to sleep, I thought. And I thought about sleeping forever, the eternal sleep, and how it could feel – was it cold or was it cozy – had it not been for facts contesting life after death in terms of subjectively sensory experience... More



5. Their Father's Love by Sean A. Donahue



Tying to explain the differences and the complaints of a failed marriage is too complicated for a four-year old to understand. I think I heard the phrase, "But why daddy?" more than I ever thought I could. But it wasn't my kids' fault... More


What a Long Strange Trip It's Been...
From the Editor's Laptop: Welcome to the November issue Truckin' which contain 60% Key West themed short stories. I lead off the issue with another Key West installment of Existentialist Conversations with Strippers. AlCantHang is in the lineup this month with his own soused tale of debauchery during our sojourn to Key West. And don't forget to read Change100's piece where she described a wild night at one of the Key West strip clubs. Everyone's favorite Norwegian writer, Sigge S. Amdal, is back with another stellar submission and Sean A. Donahue returns with a tender piece about family and distance.



If you like these stories, then please tell your friends about your favorite stories. It takes a few seconds to pass along Truckin'. The writers certainly appreciate your support. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you know anyone who is interested in being added to the mailing list.Thanks to all of the writers who exposed their souls to the world, and did it for free. All of you inspire me and I'm admire your bravery and taking that leap of faith with me.Thanks again to everyone for wasting your precious time month after month with Truckin' and for your continuous support. Until next time.



Salukis,McG



"Being a writer is like being a psychoanalyst, but you don't get any patients." - Al Alvarez

I Plead No Contest

BobbyBracelet owes me big.

Congrats to the Packers, well-rounded game, Farve kicked ass, hat tips to all.

And I blame the Bracelet for the loss, and if Purple Jesus just got hurt, I will be bring my 28 oz. Tech Fire to Vegas and going all Jeff Gillooly on his ass.

Good luck to the cheeseheads on their season, except the dickhead who clip tackled PJ. He should rot in hell.

Drunk Poker Sucks When You Sober Up

You go out, have a good time, drink a little too much and whilst getting home the sirens of wrap draws and suckouts call your name.

Those sirens can firmly stick their thumbs up their asses next time. What was a fun little $5 knockout tourney at Full Tilt has turned into a four hour mess of falling asleep every other minute and torn between donking out for a happy meal profit, or playing my usual crap tourney game.

For now I'm choosing crap and Roxette's "Joyride" on loop. She says: Hello you fool I loooooooooooove you!

Of course she does when you fuckin give her free reign at Home Depot when agreeing to a new kitchen design. Any chance for take-backs?

If You Go Deep and Don't Cash Did You Even Play?

I think I need work on avoiding the one big hand prior to the bubble after being four of the money in the Moooooooookie and 10 off the money in a smallish $5 MTT where I stole for 45 minutes straight with my short stack (6BBs) before the hyper-big stack had enough and called my ATs push with the all powerful 43o.

Well played sir.

More points for the BBT2, but damn it sucks to be bubbling so close to the money this many times. Last night I just ran face first into Aces thinking it was a late position steal, a flopped sets of jacks gave me hope but with 9 to K straight on the board IGHN .

I r smrt pkr playa.

Starting QB for the Vikes gets announced today, does seem wrong that I hope the backup gets the start? I'd rather not have to succumb to wearing Packer gear at the IP/Mandalay Bay sportsbook next month.

Did Shula Celebrate a Patriots Loss Too Early?

The excitement is building, the Packers should be shaking after today's announcement...

KOY DETMER IS COMING TO THE VIKINGS WHOO WHOO!!!

Ok, anyone else have something midly amusing to say? Maybe they should have signed Ty instead? Is Jeff George still available? Why did I leave it on the soft rock station after switching cars with the wife, and sadly enjoyed Air Supply a little bit too much that the midly attractive chick in the Audi looked on in disgust at the stop light?

Maybe make fun of Don Shula's remarks about the asterisk because of the Patriots' "SpyGate" thingy?

I think maybe Shula popped the cork a little too early this year.

Could Someone Kindly Remove the Lure from the Packer Fans?

At least the press can get one thing right:

St. Paul, Minnesota is the number one place to come to for hockey. Damn straight.

If you're a hockey fan, there's no better place to come to then "The X" for game and the bars surrounding the place (since every ticket is sold out for the rest of the season that's probably where you're going to watch it from).

As for the recent rash of underground poker games being robbed and a very unfortunate death, I wish lawmakers would see it as an opportunity to improve security of these games, but most likely the bible thumpers will dance them to a different groove towards BAN BAN BAN ITS EVIL!!!!!1111oneoneone

No soapbox for me as I gear up for a week of Packer - Viking smack talk at KFAN.com and some Packer fans here that seem to have a super-sized shad rap stuck in mouths. Yes, little fishies it will all be over soon....

Tomlinson Who?

While Red Soxs fans corner the market on biggest annoyance outside of taking a 20 minute dump and realizing you have no toilet paper. Packer fans can be found slurping turpentine out of a Big Gulp mug behind the nearest 7-11 while jacking off to pictures of Farve’s Wranglers ads in Bow Hunter and Muzzleloaders Monthly could be coined as a close second.

I respect Packer fans unlike those who root on some team that willingly throws money at whomever they want, despite being a die hard Vikings fan and born to hate those in the green and gold. The Packer have grit, they play hard despite having one star on the team who WILL be found sucking on Pat Williams’ anus after big Pat clubs him to the Lambeau turf hard enough to imprint the yardage stripes on his back on Sunday.

Next week you get the honor of hosting Purple Jesus. Yes, He will come to your field and grace you with His glory and show just why He has returned to Earth to don shoulder pads and punish those who stand in His way of the endzone.

Amen.

I Would Gladly Pay You Tuesday for a Vikings Victory Today

Oatmeal stout in hand.

Vikes leading into the 4th quarter.

Rivers looking like a Vikings quarterback.

Could Childress hold on to his job for one more week?

I know this girl isn't betting on it.

Missed It By That Much

13th, 15th, and tonight... 4th (yes Don I misplayed that blind hand, I know).

Does it get me some player of the week love since I'm not going to Oz?

Sadly no. I cracked Aces on the way to the final table so I can't hang my head too far except for a poorly played blind vs. blind battle.

Weekend will be time to recharge from all these late nights and wicked cash game sessions.

Gash Needs Peppermint Lotion ASAP

Should you feel bad about losing to a suckout late in a tournament if you benefited from one earlier?

Now put yourself into my shoes, a player who is experiencing a month long bankroll and psyche beating worthy of a death trap in a "Saw" sequel. You know the pain is coming, but you don’t know from where, and most likely the pain is going to be self-inflicted by making a wrong choice (the scene with the Latina girl putting her hands into the box with the antidode in it and the shards of metal not letting her hands out in Saw 2? Genius). But, what if you make the right choices and come out with the wrong result; can you pour over the hand histories and forget that bottom cash you took because the board didn’t play out in your favor?

Or would it bother you that you took that coin flip at the right time after two or three hours of play, or made the right steal attempt against the right player at the right time and they just happen to catch cards. No one can claim a perfect read on this game at all times, but people can use misdirection, overbets, and assortment of “plays” to give themselves more lottery tickets to win a tournament or even come out ahead after a session at the cash games.

A percentage to win doesn’t just include the cards in front you, but the play that can surround those cards. If you can make your opponent fold more often then not, then your winning percentage with any two cards for that hand goes up. Fold equity isn’t a new concept if you’ve read a few books which most people who stroll by here have. If you can get a person who normally wouldn’t call you with a inferior hand, the EV of your hand goes up beyond the percentage given if the cards were to go to showdown. Value betting isn’t a new concept either, but it does shine some light for someone like myself who is struggling with results lately.

With the exception of a misplayed KK last night, I felt I got the results I wanted but fell short when I four outer hit the river last night. Moral victory I guess, but moral victories don’t get an interview with Mookie nor do they put you on the next flight to Australia.

Tonight Riverchasers, make em’ proud bloggers with another triple digit showing as I’ll waffle on whether or not I play since two deepish finishes this week, plus a final table tonight might net me player of the week. Good luck to all if I’m not there as I’d rather be swatting at softballs then staying up until midnight to win ten shiny American cents after three hours of poker.

Maybe a dial-a-shot would extract the brilo pad stuck in my vagina tonight.

Yes, the ball left the yard... well at least the infield