Thursday, April 16, 2009

Hearing Is Believing

Vegas made have its Elvis weddings, Chapel of the Bells, or pick any casino up and down the strip (found at

But, if you want to feel what your marriage is going to be like in a literal sense, you come to Minnesota and shop at Ikea for that perfect $59.99 end table with the unpronouceable name, hit up one of the many jewelry stores in the Mall of a America, after crossing home plate from the old Met, ride a roller coaster while taking your vows to abstain from sex have many lovingly years in each others arms.


It has been over a month now with my new bionic ears and the dividends are still paying off daily as they will slowly meld into regular life soon enough. It's a still wonderment that insurance companies turn a deaf ear (DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?!) on assisting people who pay premiums at their respective companies for purchasing hearing aids.

A quick Google (when are you going to allow my site back into your queue?) search for hearing aid insurance brings up websites that should how insurance turn their backs on those with hearing losses despite people like myself who's lives are vastly improved by wearing them. It's a state-by-state lotto in which the state's assure hearing aid coverage, but mostly for children. While my wife made be able to argue in front of a nine person actuarial panel my penchant for being a Toys R' Kid, my drivers license still allows me to fly to Vegas and make an ass out of myself while berating the two seat for calling me down with a gutter-ball straight draw on a flush board while I hold top two pair.

Health insurance should be just that. Improvement on health. After getting these wonderful devices I can now understand people at work without having them go into their tape recorders and rewind every message before their triple lattes from the Starbucks kiosk. Rushing downstairs to grab the wife and decipher my daughter's pleas at 5:00am as I wake her up are no longer necessary. Thanks to this, she actually knowledges me on occassion with more hugs and is willing to sit down to talk rather then me resorting to imperfect lip reading.

My son's voice and temperment have lowered since I don't speak as loudly anymore. We get to share more about his media center day and getting thru the rigors of Kindergarten without having to "take-a-break" (that's time-out for you naughty adults who's names were written on the board with little check marks growing up).

I've even seen a softer side of my wife since her pet peeve is having to repeat things (how we ever got thru nearly nine years of marriage before this without her placing a shotgun to my head is beyond me).

Most likely if you're reading this you know me personally or have at least had the pleasure of taking my money at the poker tables, but for those who don't, know that this gift of hearing will be a recurring theme here as what once felt like a lost cause between living, my spouse, and my kids now gets a new chance to meet each other and possibly learn to grow off one and another.


My slacking baseball fandom line of seeing the Twinkies in action this year is abysmal. If my viewing was a box-score it would look like this:

AB: 4

1B: 1

2B: 0

3B: 0

HR: 0 (HA! Like they hit any home runs)

SB: 0

SAC: 0

BB: 1

IP: 2/3

H: 1

BB: 0

K: 1

Watched the Twins bat last night (two on, no outs for Nicky Punto to send a co-ed softball-ish routine fly ball to center field and kill any rally while down 10-2 to the Blue Jays), then part of an inning where someone threw a knuckleball. First Twin I've seen throw one since Joe Niekro if I'm not mistaken.

A plea to FSN. I rarely look at channels that are non-HD as the TV snobbery is high, please stop being so cheap and broadcast those games on the HD channel so I know when they're on.

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