Thursday, March 08, 2007

Meat Goes Mooooooooooo

Warroad 3

Albert Lea 1

April wins a free date at CC's weekly tourney (next week because I'm not going home after work). And yes I let her choose the team, I doubt it would have been fair for me to do it.

I'm continuing to make some out-of-body horrible calls at the cash games this week which irks me to no end. Posting a profitable day doesn't seem to have the same flavor when you're making bad decisions on the end. But a win is a win and I'll add it to my stacks of pennies with the good intention of joining my favorite degenerates on a trip later this year should my recent profitablity stick round for another couple of a months.

If I get sick at the casino tonight there will be a return visit to the Ruby Tuesday's as my family decided to drop by there for a meal last night. A spunky, decent looking blonde similar to that bookish blonde chick on Smallville made the first mistake of the night besides not performing a table dance in her slimming, ass clinging black uniform. She seats us next to some high stakes bingo players who were smarting over their loss afternoon session with hi-balls and seven trips to the salad bar. I didn't want to smell the Ben-Gay, they didn't want to listen to Wyatt playing tic-tac-toe with his father and throwing a few fist pumps after connecting three X's in an "L" shape design. Open space to the left, front, and right but seated right next to the only other group in the section, strike one.

Strike two took a little longer as our waiter took one too many bong hits while retrieving another gravel tasting libation for the AARP crowd and some how managed to walk by the screaming 10 month old for nearly 10 minutes. I finally instructed the wife to stick one of her lovely stems outwards to gain a two minute penalty for tripping. After our hero retrieved his writing utensil from his anal cavity, he only took another 10 minutes to retrieve a tall Blue Moon and vodka collins after watching him disappear into the kitchen and keeping a firm eye on the too-young-to-be-slinging-drinks bartender who never got our order until our overweight Spicoli handed it to her.

Then the strikeout with some high-stinkin cheese came with the meal. First the portions were slimed down to manage my adonis frame, while I appreciated the thoughtfulness, the prices remained around $10 for the bacon cheeseburger with batter fried onion shavings. Throw some slaw in or something to justify the price.

What sealed the bad night was after I cut my burger in two (which I always do since I enjoy dipping my round patty of meat into BBQ/Honey Mustard/Ketchup) and found the middle of the burger chewing some grass on the prairie. "Medium Well" was the demand from my lips to the space cadet when we finally flagged him down from the now bustiling three tables he was waiting on. He looked perplexed that I even suggested how I wanted my slab of cow done, but for a $10 burger it was my assumpion they would honor such a request.

Next time I'll busy myself with talking to the low-slung light fixtures left-over from Shakey's Pizza instead of asking for my meat not to moo back at me with every bite.

Thanks for dropping by, now I've pleaded with the morons who continue to let Sanjajerqoiwrj make my ears bleed. Don't be an assface, just vote for Jesus boy and go back to your article in Tiger Beat about who broke Ashley's heart.

And if you're rooting for Edina in today's Class AA Minnesota High School hockey starting round, I hope you fall face first into the icy pavement while getting out of your Hummer.

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