Thursday, January 17, 2008

Asshats Need Not Apply

Why is a re-steal a brilliant play except when your opponent flips up Kings or Aces and it becomes “I got impatient”. Got into the moneys last night in Full Tilt’s 28K and managed to blow a par stack deep because fighting it out blinds versus blinds with A3o is a secondary qualifier for the Special Olympics.

Missed American Idol due to more internet hijinks that were solved it time to sign up for the Mookie and go out near Gigli-like place with Aces falling early. At least the dOOkie provided a freeroll for finishing third in a PLO format. Is it me, or is the asshat rating of the newer players in these going through the roof? Sarcasm is always welcome, jokes are a cornerstone of having fun, but being an asshole in these is like the dumbass at a keg party who goes into the parents’ room to steal mom’s favorite pink panties.

It doesn’t make sense.

Go show your superiority at the cash tables, go question some donkeys play in a $2 SnG for a half hour after his/her 56o “got there” versus your high pocket pair, but don’t come to these semi-private tourneys and tear into players that you don’t know. I think dry humping a cactus with a Prince video in the background while staring at a poster of Tiffany Amber-Thiessen (I'm sure if prodded Al will find you better pics) is more constructive then trying to win $150-$200 via the Mookie or Riverchasers. Wanna show off that mental acuity and brag about it? Go play NTN trivia at the bar, and hit on that neglected busty MILF with the watered down appletini in her bejeweled hand at the end of the row while sipping on your 2 fer 1 Sex on the Beach with a giant pineapple wedge in it.

Or feel free to allow a bullet to carve a wind tunnel through that thick skull of yours.

On a lighter side, if you’re not hitting up Pauly and Change100’s work down under at the Aussie Millions stop beating those kittens with plastic sporks and do something right in your life for once.

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