That line has cost me my entire month of profits in the last two days.
When your eyes say time to go to bed. Listen. Cmitch had a similar problem with finding the power off button (of course for a lot more then I'd ever think of playing for).
If you're presently tilting like me, hit me up tonight for some Euchre or any card game that doesn't involve getting a second best hand and losing $200.
This is not a whine, this is me not listening to my own advice and playing stupid. I can't control the cards, but I can control not making such boneheaded decisions.
Anyone have a clue I can borrow? Suburban dad with stupid parenting stories, and occasionally plays poker variations that make Hold Em' players seize up from confusion.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
The Other Shoe to Drop
You just got laid, that big all-in with the nuts just got paid off, the cashier forgot to charge you for that second package of Juicy Fruit. Life is good. But why is the hair on the back of your neck standing up? This may be a personal problem as maybe I’m not psychologically stable to handle success. If you’re a competent poker player, don’t you win once in a while too? Most self-help and poker books deal with “how to cope with losing” and go through in great detail how to get back in the saddle and ride that variance bitch until she begs you stop whining and starts letting you enter the promise land under her new pink V-String.
Take my weekend for instance, started off ahead two buy ins at the $1/$2 PLO8 games on PokerStars thanks to an unfortunate player that didn’t like money very much. Feeling good I returned to Full Tilt to face the demons that left a severe red gash in my bankroll, not unlike BG trying unsuccessfully to woo an anime girl into blissful alien tentacle sex (I failed in my many attempts to undress an anime nurse but was successful in unlocking the nudie hentai picture from the slot machine!). No, I’m not publishing the link to these wonderful games you perverts. Wow, going from poker to hentai, I think that’s a low even for me.
Anyway, I started out with some marshmallow peep sex tourneys (ok I officially have “issues”) and promptly won two $26 tokens in my first two attempts. Then in the cash games I managed to snag a half a buy-in win to get my Full Tilt bankroll out of the I.C.U. section of the poker hospital. Saturday rolled around and lo and behold I won not one but TWO coin flips in the $18K NLHE tourney and managed to claw my way to a 32nd out of 900+ finish. Not the $5K for 1st, but for someone who sucks at tournament play and not getting AA or KK for a solid 4 hours, I was happy with the $78 ROMPSI (that’s Return On Marshmallow Peep Sex Investment for those scoring at home).
I must be really really good at the poker! I bet I win!! This game is E-Z!! Then last night I take a hit while pushing my edge a little too hard in a cash game and POOF (make a cool cartoony sound here at my expense) there goes half my profit for the weekend. All weekend I was waiting for that to happen. This is a bad mind set for anyone, poker or life situations. Expecting the proverbial “other shoe to drop” is different from knowing that variance will swing in other player’s favors sometimes. You can’t enter a game expecting to lose just because you won the previous 2, 3, or 10 sessions. People say the cards have no memory, and you shouldn’t either when comparing last night’s success/failure to your current session/tournament. This goes for the cards only, obviously if you’re playing against the same opponents keeping mental/physical tabs on them will help to make you a successful player. So the next time you’re on a high from nailing that nut flush and winning a buy-in or two at the cash games, don’t get weak/tight from waiting for your Aces to get cracked because “I’m bound to lose since I won last night” type of mind set.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you how you feel when first get off the plane in Vegas (this goes for the gambOOlers and poker bloggers)? SLOTS, DRINKS, POKER, STRIPPERS, PORN SLAPPERS, BUFFETS, PETE ROSE SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS AND REFUSING PROP BETS. It’s a mental overload of all the debauchery you will partake in over your 2-5 night stay in Sin City.
That’s why when I took Little Drizz to a train show this weekend, I tried my best to keep a smile on my face as he pulled me in 15 different directions trying to play with every model and plastic train being displayed. The World Greatest Hobby as it was toted displayed every thing about trains, model trains, train tracks, train sets, and all sorts of trainy stuff. Little Drizz couldn’t contain his excitement as I had to stop him from playing with the working model trains that cost more then I make in a week. I had no idea to the amount of cash these people put into their displays, I mean we’re talking $200-$400 for ONE small model railway car. That’s a dinner, drink, lap dance, and maybe some back seat action. Since Little Drizz was acting like a junkie who just downed a fist full of PCP and 12 pack of Red Bull, despite me taking care of the little ball of flipped out energy I was able to observe a couple of the type of people who would be interested in a Walt Disney railway car for $399.95.
I wanted to approach the gentlemen wearing his son’s Thomas the Tank Engine backpack and inform him that his balls were back inside his mini-van and he should retrieve them before he buys a conductor’s hat and stripped overalls and starts singing the Thomas theme song during karaoke session while slamming O’Doul’s. Now if it was a Dora the Explorer backpack he’d get a pass because she kicks Swiper’s pansy-ass on a daily basis.
And to the yuppy douchebag who brought the SUV-sized stroller into the 8 feet wide walking lanes between exhibits with hundreds of people walking in both directions? I hope a kid on a pixie stik high bites your ankle for the next 30 years. Moron.
Being the kind of dad I am, the grand finale of the show was to ride on this 30 foot oval track with a scaled down train. Of course being a free ride there was a bit of a line. Little Drizz didn’t wish to wait, so for the next 45 minutes the words “no”, “don’t”, “please stop kicking me in the balls”, and “we’re almost there” were repeated being I like hearing myself talk. He was in euphoria and not listening to my pleading that we had to wait before going on the 30 second joy ride (which was kinda cool despite my leg cramping up from try to squish onto the mini-bench). Excellent time, just wished I didn’t have to be a parent and tell him “no” so much.
From there we went and had a pizza at the original Broadway Pizza in Minneapolis. It looks a little burnt out outside the restaurant and the interior isn’t much better. But the Ham, Bacon, Pepperoni, and their specialty Italian Sausage all in a deep dish pie made me forget all about the hoochie mama spilling her funk out of the spandex outfit at the adjacent table and Little Drizz’s inability to sit still for three seconds let alone the 35 minutes needed to craft this artery clogger of a pizza. If you’re visiting this state and don’t want some cookie cutter Old Chicago/UNO/Domino’s/Papa John’s type pizza (yes I realize they've "sold out" and they're franchised now), hit this place up, you won’t be left unsatisfied and may need new pants.
Thanks for dropping by, now go tell that bitch variance to hit the road jack and don’t come back no more no more no more no more!
Take my weekend for instance, started off ahead two buy ins at the $1/$2 PLO8 games on PokerStars thanks to an unfortunate player that didn’t like money very much. Feeling good I returned to Full Tilt to face the demons that left a severe red gash in my bankroll, not unlike BG trying unsuccessfully to woo an anime girl into blissful alien tentacle sex (I failed in my many attempts to undress an anime nurse but was successful in unlocking the nudie hentai picture from the slot machine!). No, I’m not publishing the link to these wonderful games you perverts. Wow, going from poker to hentai, I think that’s a low even for me.
Anyway, I started out with some marshmallow peep sex tourneys (ok I officially have “issues”) and promptly won two $26 tokens in my first two attempts. Then in the cash games I managed to snag a half a buy-in win to get my Full Tilt bankroll out of the I.C.U. section of the poker hospital. Saturday rolled around and lo and behold I won not one but TWO coin flips in the $18K NLHE tourney and managed to claw my way to a 32nd out of 900+ finish. Not the $5K for 1st, but for someone who sucks at tournament play and not getting AA or KK for a solid 4 hours, I was happy with the $78 ROMPSI (that’s Return On Marshmallow Peep Sex Investment for those scoring at home).
I must be really really good at the poker! I bet I win!! This game is E-Z!! Then last night I take a hit while pushing my edge a little too hard in a cash game and POOF (make a cool cartoony sound here at my expense) there goes half my profit for the weekend. All weekend I was waiting for that to happen. This is a bad mind set for anyone, poker or life situations. Expecting the proverbial “other shoe to drop” is different from knowing that variance will swing in other player’s favors sometimes. You can’t enter a game expecting to lose just because you won the previous 2, 3, or 10 sessions. People say the cards have no memory, and you shouldn’t either when comparing last night’s success/failure to your current session/tournament. This goes for the cards only, obviously if you’re playing against the same opponents keeping mental/physical tabs on them will help to make you a successful player. So the next time you’re on a high from nailing that nut flush and winning a buy-in or two at the cash games, don’t get weak/tight from waiting for your Aces to get cracked because “I’m bound to lose since I won last night” type of mind set.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you how you feel when first get off the plane in Vegas (this goes for the gambOOlers and poker bloggers)? SLOTS, DRINKS, POKER, STRIPPERS, PORN SLAPPERS, BUFFETS, PETE ROSE SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS AND REFUSING PROP BETS. It’s a mental overload of all the debauchery you will partake in over your 2-5 night stay in Sin City.
That’s why when I took Little Drizz to a train show this weekend, I tried my best to keep a smile on my face as he pulled me in 15 different directions trying to play with every model and plastic train being displayed. The World Greatest Hobby as it was toted displayed every thing about trains, model trains, train tracks, train sets, and all sorts of trainy stuff. Little Drizz couldn’t contain his excitement as I had to stop him from playing with the working model trains that cost more then I make in a week. I had no idea to the amount of cash these people put into their displays, I mean we’re talking $200-$400 for ONE small model railway car. That’s a dinner, drink, lap dance, and maybe some back seat action. Since Little Drizz was acting like a junkie who just downed a fist full of PCP and 12 pack of Red Bull, despite me taking care of the little ball of flipped out energy I was able to observe a couple of the type of people who would be interested in a Walt Disney railway car for $399.95.
I wanted to approach the gentlemen wearing his son’s Thomas the Tank Engine backpack and inform him that his balls were back inside his mini-van and he should retrieve them before he buys a conductor’s hat and stripped overalls and starts singing the Thomas theme song during karaoke session while slamming O’Doul’s. Now if it was a Dora the Explorer backpack he’d get a pass because she kicks Swiper’s pansy-ass on a daily basis.
And to the yuppy douchebag who brought the SUV-sized stroller into the 8 feet wide walking lanes between exhibits with hundreds of people walking in both directions? I hope a kid on a pixie stik high bites your ankle for the next 30 years. Moron.
Being the kind of dad I am, the grand finale of the show was to ride on this 30 foot oval track with a scaled down train. Of course being a free ride there was a bit of a line. Little Drizz didn’t wish to wait, so for the next 45 minutes the words “no”, “don’t”, “please stop kicking me in the balls”, and “we’re almost there” were repeated being I like hearing myself talk. He was in euphoria and not listening to my pleading that we had to wait before going on the 30 second joy ride (which was kinda cool despite my leg cramping up from try to squish onto the mini-bench). Excellent time, just wished I didn’t have to be a parent and tell him “no” so much.
From there we went and had a pizza at the original Broadway Pizza in Minneapolis. It looks a little burnt out outside the restaurant and the interior isn’t much better. But the Ham, Bacon, Pepperoni, and their specialty Italian Sausage all in a deep dish pie made me forget all about the hoochie mama spilling her funk out of the spandex outfit at the adjacent table and Little Drizz’s inability to sit still for three seconds let alone the 35 minutes needed to craft this artery clogger of a pizza. If you’re visiting this state and don’t want some cookie cutter Old Chicago/UNO/Domino’s/Papa John’s type pizza (yes I realize they've "sold out" and they're franchised now), hit this place up, you won’t be left unsatisfied and may need new pants.
Thanks for dropping by, now go tell that bitch variance to hit the road jack and don’t come back no more no more no more no more!
Friday, February 24, 2006
Wyatt Says WAKE UP!!
And can someone hurry along the fuckin cold weather so I can get back to the diamond.
Final tabled last night in a PLO MTT for a whopping thirteen dollah win! I'm going blow that on a luncheon special at Chin Yung (best sweet and sour pork in Maple Grove!).
Yeah, I don't have much today except I'm gonna make some eggs and bacon for the little guy now. So PLEASE do yourself a favor and check out the blogs on the right. Especially the on going Holliweird tourney coverage by the always entertaining, but never asleep Dr. PAULY!!
Have a profitable weekend folks!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Comic Relief
Ok, I tried out the Stripcreator found via Mike's website and attempted some lame humor and misspellings (it wouldn't let me edit).
Enjoy the comic.
I'll be bouncing in and out this weekend, hopefully wager on some ponies, and finish up reaching the "Silver" status at PokerStars. After playing two hours at two tables of PLO8 ($100 and $200 tables) last night and only getting 45 "VIP" points, its gonna take a lengthy session this weekend to hit 1,500 points.
I promise some cute pics of a beat up Little Drizz this weekend. Unfortunately, he caught the wrong end of a door a couple of days ago while chasing a ball and forgetting that he has to open the door and not try to go thru it. So he's sporting a decent cut on his cheek at the moment.
Dr. Pauly is now covering the WPT Invitational, make sure to drop by for the Titty... er, Tilly shots. And see Former Star Trek Actor Wil Wheaton in action as he survived the first day!!
Enjoy the comic.
I'll be bouncing in and out this weekend, hopefully wager on some ponies, and finish up reaching the "Silver" status at PokerStars. After playing two hours at two tables of PLO8 ($100 and $200 tables) last night and only getting 45 "VIP" points, its gonna take a lengthy session this weekend to hit 1,500 points.
I promise some cute pics of a beat up Little Drizz this weekend. Unfortunately, he caught the wrong end of a door a couple of days ago while chasing a ball and forgetting that he has to open the door and not try to go thru it. So he's sporting a decent cut on his cheek at the moment.
Dr. Pauly is now covering the WPT Invitational, make sure to drop by for the Titty... er, Tilly shots. And see Former Star Trek Actor Wil Wheaton in action as he survived the first day!!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Play The Hand You've Been Dealt
Goddamn it Blogger and Word are fucking up my world. Nice to know the two programs get to pick and choose which paragraphs to cut and paste. Awesome! So, please forgive my worst then usual crap-tastic post today.
I had a nice lead in seguing the current UEFA Championship and my horrid soccer career that thankfully ended in the 4th grade. Mumble something about ending up playing baseball due to my lanky arms and bad knees that couldn't take the punishment of getting tackled (but it was oddly ok to play hockey for 13 years).
Say you've heard that SnGs can be CRUSHERED but you're usually a ring game player. You read about the easy competition on (insert a poker room here), you see the exploits of SnG masters like PokerNerd, Mourn, or Wes. They constantly crank out profitable “sets” of SnGs with excellent skill, overcoming that variance bitch in the long run with superior play over and over. I’m sure everyone by now has played in some SnGs and has read about optimal strategy in playing them and maybe found a bit of success. But, over time you look back at your PokerTracker stats and see a bright blood stain of numbers and curse all those suckouts and occasional bad plays by yourself. So, you crash the 2+2 forums, re-read Harrington like its Jessica Alba nude in Playboy (NICE PURCHASE DP!!), and read all the poker blog primers about SnG play… and still come away emptier then a SoCo bottle at the Boathouse after BigMike and Al show up.
Now what?
Do you drudge on? Are you fighting the quicksand? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Be honest about your play, and your bankroll (and love for the game) will thank you for it.
It’s a simple thing really; find the game/structure/blinds that you are comfortable playing at (with the exception of “taking shots” at higher levels). These are my tournament stats at PokerStars, as you can clearly see I am not a tournament player. Granted I do cash once in a while, but more often then not, I’m on this blog whining about some short bus riding, exhaust pipe sniffing, helmet wearing donkey sucking out on my dominating hand. Only on a very rare occasion will you hear me bitch about a PLO8 ring game hand. Why? Isn’t losing a stack in a ring game much more costly then losing a tournament buy in? Generally yes its more money, but less of a psychological burden since you can buy back in a start playing again, not unlike the phoenix rising from the ashes. Good tournament players are able to get pass that mind block of losing while “putting the chips in while ahead”. They are ok with not cashing in a dozen or more tournaments, knowing that eventually variance will unlatch her lace Victoria Secret's number, slide down her fishnet stockings (and not get the urge to go to Arby's), and bend over at the final table to receive your huge junk.
I don’t have that mind set nor the huge junk.
Rather then wasting buy-in after buy-in at tournaments, (except at times like last night when I needed some fun and entered in a couple of SnGs) I stick with what works for me and my abilities (or lack thereof). My lanky arms and patience to wait out the overly aggressive players (or pick off their bluffs with a rare bluff of my own) fit better in the ring game setting then SnGs or MTTs. Much like finding a relationship with the opposite (or same-sex, not that there’s anything wrong with that) you need to find how your intelligence, wants/needs, and beliefs match up with your potential spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, one night stand, lab partner… you need to do the same with your poker game and match up your aggression level, psychological fortitude, knowledge of the game, and your bankroll to the game that will yield the greatest amount of profit.
Thanks for dropping by, now head over to the ACHE and help pick out a name for BigMike’s 40th birthday bash. I know you can do much better then my pathetic dribble.
And if you're in Minnesota and listening to K102, my brother was busy last night setting up for the St. Jude's telethon that's going on at the Mall of America. Say hi to Eric the Engineer if you call in for this very worth-while charity.
I had a nice lead in seguing the current UEFA Championship and my horrid soccer career that thankfully ended in the 4th grade. Mumble something about ending up playing baseball due to my lanky arms and bad knees that couldn't take the punishment of getting tackled (but it was oddly ok to play hockey for 13 years).
Say you've heard that SnGs can be CRUSHERED but you're usually a ring game player. You read about the easy competition on (insert a poker room here), you see the exploits of SnG masters like PokerNerd, Mourn, or Wes. They constantly crank out profitable “sets” of SnGs with excellent skill, overcoming that variance bitch in the long run with superior play over and over. I’m sure everyone by now has played in some SnGs and has read about optimal strategy in playing them and maybe found a bit of success. But, over time you look back at your PokerTracker stats and see a bright blood stain of numbers and curse all those suckouts and occasional bad plays by yourself. So, you crash the 2+2 forums, re-read Harrington like its Jessica Alba nude in Playboy (NICE PURCHASE DP!!), and read all the poker blog primers about SnG play… and still come away emptier then a SoCo bottle at the Boathouse after BigMike and Al show up.
Now what?
Do you drudge on? Are you fighting the quicksand? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Be honest about your play, and your bankroll (and love for the game) will thank you for it.
It’s a simple thing really; find the game/structure/blinds that you are comfortable playing at (with the exception of “taking shots” at higher levels). These are my tournament stats at PokerStars, as you can clearly see I am not a tournament player. Granted I do cash once in a while, but more often then not, I’m on this blog whining about some short bus riding, exhaust pipe sniffing, helmet wearing donkey sucking out on my dominating hand. Only on a very rare occasion will you hear me bitch about a PLO8 ring game hand. Why? Isn’t losing a stack in a ring game much more costly then losing a tournament buy in? Generally yes its more money, but less of a psychological burden since you can buy back in a start playing again, not unlike the phoenix rising from the ashes. Good tournament players are able to get pass that mind block of losing while “putting the chips in while ahead”. They are ok with not cashing in a dozen or more tournaments, knowing that eventually variance will unlatch her lace Victoria Secret's number, slide down her fishnet stockings (and not get the urge to go to Arby's), and bend over at the final table to receive your huge junk.
I don’t have that mind set nor the huge junk.
Rather then wasting buy-in after buy-in at tournaments, (except at times like last night when I needed some fun and entered in a couple of SnGs) I stick with what works for me and my abilities (or lack thereof). My lanky arms and patience to wait out the overly aggressive players (or pick off their bluffs with a rare bluff of my own) fit better in the ring game setting then SnGs or MTTs. Much like finding a relationship with the opposite (or same-sex, not that there’s anything wrong with that) you need to find how your intelligence, wants/needs, and beliefs match up with your potential spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, one night stand, lab partner… you need to do the same with your poker game and match up your aggression level, psychological fortitude, knowledge of the game, and your bankroll to the game that will yield the greatest amount of profit.
Thanks for dropping by, now head over to the ACHE and help pick out a name for BigMike’s 40th birthday bash. I know you can do much better then my pathetic dribble.
And if you're in Minnesota and listening to K102, my brother was busy last night setting up for the St. Jude's telethon that's going on at the Mall of America. Say hi to Eric the Engineer if you call in for this very worth-while charity.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Working Nine to Five
*cracks fingers*
Nothing like a four day weekend to get refreshed. I try to plan my personal days with my wife’s schedule so we have similar days off and she doesn’t have to get up at 5am to drive my handi-capable ass to work. Since the schools got to stay home and watch women’s curling on CNBC, I thought I’d take the day off as well.
Canadian women’s curling team… hot
Thursday I visited Grand Casino Hinckley with great expectations of becoming a thousand-aire by plunking down my hardly earned poker money into Slotski, Mr. Cashman, and Monopoly penny and nickel slots.
I didn’t win. In fact I came very close to taking my whole home bankroll to the high stakes blackjack area to blow the rest of the monies that I brought. Slot tilt is a powerful thing, beware of the warning signs such as: Drinking your 15th cup of free lemonade without using a restroom, cursing that stupid cartoon for not landing on the big bonus loud enough to make people cash out and walk away, and hitting on blue haired ladies smoking a Parliament while discussing the house band’s last number (the band was pretty good).
I did manage to break my conversation with Estelle Getty long enough to hit up the poker room for some games of the two card variety. My request for an Omaha 8 or better game was met with squinty eyes and a slight chuckle. After inquiring about the four card game with the brush and five of the dealers, in the course of a year only one of them has even dealt it. So much for check-raising douche bag ice fishermen with nut nut hands. I did manage to sit down at a table where I was the youngest player by 20 years (I’m 31 years young by the way). Of course my immediate read on everyone was rock, rock, rock, and a column of slate at end of the table. Fortunately they all disappointed me, as AK unimproved was called to the river multiple times, runner runner straights and flushes were common, and third pair was GOLD JERRY GOLD! Not really exciting poker when you bet when get a good hand and must fold when you don’t, and bluffing was a worst gambling proposition then tossing $200 into penny slots (but we won’t mention people who do that). I made my profit of $30 for my little two hour session in two hands 64o and 65sOOted. But, the grumpy old men hardly looked up from their coffee when I raked in the two decent size pots.
The trip wasn’t all gambling as I got to take Little Drizz swimming in a pool that gave all three of us a slight chemical rash (which washed off in the shower), that was enjoyable. And of course we spent some time playing skee-ball and earning tickets in the arcade to try to get the stuffed SpongeBob SquarePants he’s had his eye on. Fourteen bucks for the room (with tax) made the trip a bargain (despite my donation to the Indian Reservation via Mr. Cashman slots).
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rest of the weekend was spent relaxing, sipping on Cap’n Cokes, and watching the Olympics on my broken HDTV set (repairman coming today). Bode Miller? Well played sir. Women’s Hockey team? Tough loss. Women’s Curling? Its better then the pseudo-porn on Spike TVs informericals in the morning, the captain of the Canadian team looks like the hot teacher you always wondered if she was really a stripper on her off-days. Yum. And who doesn’t like attractive women shouting “HARDER!!!” at you.
Despite SOME PEOPLE *cough* Otis *cough* not enjoying the Olympics, I loved watching these athletes jump, shoot, ski, and skate their ways towards a metal donut. Granted the “scoring” events need to get the fuck out and be replaced with more definitive rules (i.e. Snowboarding, get rid of the half pipe and add more of the downhill racing events, maybe a slalom-type event). And no more “Olympic Ice” and Shani Davis’ whining about being oppressed. I don’t know the whole story about his personal vendetta against US Speedskating, or the rest of the Speedskating team but you’re representing your country, think about that before spewing off in front of a camera RIGHT AFTER WINNING A MEDAL. He made Barry Bonds and Phil Helmuth seem downright bashful.
I did manage little profitable poker this weekend, including a cash in a $22 LO8 MTT on Stars, one beat away from a final table, but it wasn’t meant to be. Since getting back to the PLO8 cash games, my bankroll continues in a direction toward mediocrity again. Hopefully with a few more good months I can plan for invading the WSOP again. Now if someone could please provide me with the mental strength to hop back into the Full Tilt ring games, I would appreciate it. I miss playing there on a regular basis, as I’m still a bit gun-shy due to some nasty losses last month. If you have the +5 Tonic of Anti-Suckout I’ll exchange it for my +3 Staff of Scooped Pots.
Thanks for dropping by, now check out this item if you’re having trouble waking up in the morning. *As found in FHM Magazine* (I read it for the articles!!!!)
And if you're not following Pauly's Live Blogging of the LA Classic in Junk-grabbing land, you just don't like life much do you. Click on over there!!
Late addition after reading SirWaffle's blog... can you say PWNED? This arguement is up for debate though...
Nothing like a four day weekend to get refreshed. I try to plan my personal days with my wife’s schedule so we have similar days off and she doesn’t have to get up at 5am to drive my handi-capable ass to work. Since the schools got to stay home and watch women’s curling on CNBC, I thought I’d take the day off as well.
Canadian women’s curling team… hot
Thursday I visited Grand Casino Hinckley with great expectations of becoming a thousand-aire by plunking down my hardly earned poker money into Slotski, Mr. Cashman, and Monopoly penny and nickel slots.
I didn’t win. In fact I came very close to taking my whole home bankroll to the high stakes blackjack area to blow the rest of the monies that I brought. Slot tilt is a powerful thing, beware of the warning signs such as: Drinking your 15th cup of free lemonade without using a restroom, cursing that stupid cartoon for not landing on the big bonus loud enough to make people cash out and walk away, and hitting on blue haired ladies smoking a Parliament while discussing the house band’s last number (the band was pretty good).
I did manage to break my conversation with Estelle Getty long enough to hit up the poker room for some games of the two card variety. My request for an Omaha 8 or better game was met with squinty eyes and a slight chuckle. After inquiring about the four card game with the brush and five of the dealers, in the course of a year only one of them has even dealt it. So much for check-raising douche bag ice fishermen with nut nut hands. I did manage to sit down at a table where I was the youngest player by 20 years (I’m 31 years young by the way). Of course my immediate read on everyone was rock, rock, rock, and a column of slate at end of the table. Fortunately they all disappointed me, as AK unimproved was called to the river multiple times, runner runner straights and flushes were common, and third pair was GOLD JERRY GOLD! Not really exciting poker when you bet when get a good hand and must fold when you don’t, and bluffing was a worst gambling proposition then tossing $200 into penny slots (but we won’t mention people who do that). I made my profit of $30 for my little two hour session in two hands 64o and 65sOOted. But, the grumpy old men hardly looked up from their coffee when I raked in the two decent size pots.
The trip wasn’t all gambling as I got to take Little Drizz swimming in a pool that gave all three of us a slight chemical rash (which washed off in the shower), that was enjoyable. And of course we spent some time playing skee-ball and earning tickets in the arcade to try to get the stuffed SpongeBob SquarePants he’s had his eye on. Fourteen bucks for the room (with tax) made the trip a bargain (despite my donation to the Indian Reservation via Mr. Cashman slots).
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rest of the weekend was spent relaxing, sipping on Cap’n Cokes, and watching the Olympics on my broken HDTV set (repairman coming today). Bode Miller? Well played sir. Women’s Hockey team? Tough loss. Women’s Curling? Its better then the pseudo-porn on Spike TVs informericals in the morning, the captain of the Canadian team looks like the hot teacher you always wondered if she was really a stripper on her off-days. Yum. And who doesn’t like attractive women shouting “HARDER!!!” at you.
Despite SOME PEOPLE *cough* Otis *cough* not enjoying the Olympics, I loved watching these athletes jump, shoot, ski, and skate their ways towards a metal donut. Granted the “scoring” events need to get the fuck out and be replaced with more definitive rules (i.e. Snowboarding, get rid of the half pipe and add more of the downhill racing events, maybe a slalom-type event). And no more “Olympic Ice” and Shani Davis’ whining about being oppressed. I don’t know the whole story about his personal vendetta against US Speedskating, or the rest of the Speedskating team but you’re representing your country, think about that before spewing off in front of a camera RIGHT AFTER WINNING A MEDAL. He made Barry Bonds and Phil Helmuth seem downright bashful.
I did manage little profitable poker this weekend, including a cash in a $22 LO8 MTT on Stars, one beat away from a final table, but it wasn’t meant to be. Since getting back to the PLO8 cash games, my bankroll continues in a direction toward mediocrity again. Hopefully with a few more good months I can plan for invading the WSOP again. Now if someone could please provide me with the mental strength to hop back into the Full Tilt ring games, I would appreciate it. I miss playing there on a regular basis, as I’m still a bit gun-shy due to some nasty losses last month. If you have the +5 Tonic of Anti-Suckout I’ll exchange it for my +3 Staff of Scooped Pots.
Thanks for dropping by, now check out this item if you’re having trouble waking up in the morning. *As found in FHM Magazine* (I read it for the articles!!!!)
And if you're not following Pauly's Live Blogging of the LA Classic in Junk-grabbing land, you just don't like life much do you. Click on over there!!
Late addition after reading SirWaffle's blog... can you say PWNED? This arguement is up for debate though...
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Proper Dime Tourney Hammer Play
PokerStars Game #4021186436: Tournament #19614104, Hold'em No Limit - Level V (75/150) - 2006/02/18 - 23:28:05 (ET)Table '19614104 258'
Seat #9 is the button
Seat 1: ArcheryHntr (4130 in chips) out of hand (moved from another table into small blind)Seat 2: EnglishSteve (1255 in chips)
Seat 3: joel6990 (3740 in chips)
Seat 4: Drizztdj (1270 in chips)
Seat 5: betabet (1245 in chips)
Seat 6: Supresid (5490 in chips)
Seat 7: kosokw (1185 in chips)
Seat 8: mtgranny (6460 in chips)
Seat 9: sierrafish (1305 in chips) is sitting out
EnglishSteve: posts small blind 75
joel6990: posts big blind 150
*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Drizztdj [7s 2d]
Drizztdj: raises 1120 to 1270 and is all-in
betabet: folds Supresid: folds kosokw: calls 1185 and is all-in
mtgranny: folds sierrafish: folds EnglishSteve: folds joel6990: folds
*** FLOP *** [6s 3s 5s]
*** TURN *** [6s 3s 5s] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [6s 3s 5s Ad] [4s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***Drizztdj: shows [7s 2d] (a straight flush, Three to Seven)
kosokw: shows [Ks Qs] (a flush, King high)
Drizztdj collected 2595 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 2595 Rake 0 Board [6s 3s 5s Ad 4s]
Seat 2: EnglishSteve (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: joel6990 (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: Drizztdj showed [7s 2d] and won (2595) with a straight flush, Three to Seven
Seat 5: betabet folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Supresid folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: kosokw showed [Ks Qs] and lost with a flush, King
Seat 8: mtgranny folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: sierrafish (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat #9 is the button
Seat 1: ArcheryHntr (4130 in chips) out of hand (moved from another table into small blind)Seat 2: EnglishSteve (1255 in chips)
Seat 3: joel6990 (3740 in chips)
Seat 4: Drizztdj (1270 in chips)
Seat 5: betabet (1245 in chips)
Seat 6: Supresid (5490 in chips)
Seat 7: kosokw (1185 in chips)
Seat 8: mtgranny (6460 in chips)
Seat 9: sierrafish (1305 in chips) is sitting out
EnglishSteve: posts small blind 75
joel6990: posts big blind 150
*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Drizztdj [7s 2d]
Drizztdj: raises 1120 to 1270 and is all-in
betabet: folds Supresid: folds kosokw: calls 1185 and is all-in
mtgranny: folds sierrafish: folds EnglishSteve: folds joel6990: folds
*** FLOP *** [6s 3s 5s]
*** TURN *** [6s 3s 5s] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [6s 3s 5s Ad] [4s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***Drizztdj: shows [7s 2d] (a straight flush, Three to Seven)
kosokw: shows [Ks Qs] (a flush, King high)
Drizztdj collected 2595 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 2595 Rake 0 Board [6s 3s 5s Ad 4s]
Seat 2: EnglishSteve (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: joel6990 (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: Drizztdj showed [7s 2d] and won (2595) with a straight flush, Three to Seven
Seat 5: betabet folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Supresid folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: kosokw showed [Ks Qs] and lost with a flush, King
Seat 8: mtgranny folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: sierrafish (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Thursday, February 16, 2006
As You May Know By Now...
I didn’t win the Powerball.
Assholes didn’t even pick one of my 30 numbers.
One again my Comcast High-Speed Internets decided the $60/month that I paid for its wonderful service was not enough to actually function. No check-raising, No alone bids on Yahoo Euchre, No Tera Patrick.
Just a fun night of convincing Little Drizz that it was time for bed 15 times, “TREAT DADDY!!”, “NO SLEEP DADDY!!!”, “READ BUBBLE BOOK DADDY!!!!!!”. Of course I gave in to letting him watch Jeremy Bloom come a little short in his quest for gold (or any medal for that matter). I hate the “judging” part and moguls skiing in general but the story of being locked out as a college football player because of his Olympic endorsements seemed worthy of five minutes of viewing time. Finally after a bowl of Lucky Charms and reading “B” is for Bubbles he nodded off to the island of Sodor.
Tonight, I’m heading up to Grand Casino Hinckley tonight because of the gracious player’s club host that deemed my paltry live bankroll big enough to call and offer a room when none were available. There will be a little poker, a little penny slots, and a little Let-It-Ride being played. Little Drizz seemed more excited to go then I was while exclaiming, “CASINO DADDY, GO!!!” this morning after waking him up. He was actually a little upset that we pulled into my mom’s place instead of the casino parking lot.
Glad this kid has his priorities straight.
Thanks for dropping by, its my intention to write up the short trip tomorrow but should the Internets decide not to work, crazy customer/former credit collector Drizz will be placing a call into the Comcast Internets helpless desk. I lost two years of my life the last time the “tech” told me to use the “power surge” technique FOUR FUCKIN TIMES, after calmly explaining to this honors degree graduate of Hooked on Phonics that his “power surge” technique was about as useful as a limp dick on a porn set.
I pray for competency, and hope for at least mediocrity if forced to deal with calling in. And if they suggest I use their “online customer service tools” again, I might just flip the hell out.
Assholes didn’t even pick one of my 30 numbers.
One again my Comcast High-Speed Internets decided the $60/month that I paid for its wonderful service was not enough to actually function. No check-raising, No alone bids on Yahoo Euchre, No Tera Patrick.
Just a fun night of convincing Little Drizz that it was time for bed 15 times, “TREAT DADDY!!”, “NO SLEEP DADDY!!!”, “READ BUBBLE BOOK DADDY!!!!!!”. Of course I gave in to letting him watch Jeremy Bloom come a little short in his quest for gold (or any medal for that matter). I hate the “judging” part and moguls skiing in general but the story of being locked out as a college football player because of his Olympic endorsements seemed worthy of five minutes of viewing time. Finally after a bowl of Lucky Charms and reading “B” is for Bubbles he nodded off to the island of Sodor.
Tonight, I’m heading up to Grand Casino Hinckley tonight because of the gracious player’s club host that deemed my paltry live bankroll big enough to call and offer a room when none were available. There will be a little poker, a little penny slots, and a little Let-It-Ride being played. Little Drizz seemed more excited to go then I was while exclaiming, “CASINO DADDY, GO!!!” this morning after waking him up. He was actually a little upset that we pulled into my mom’s place instead of the casino parking lot.
Glad this kid has his priorities straight.
Thanks for dropping by, its my intention to write up the short trip tomorrow but should the Internets decide not to work, crazy customer/former credit collector Drizz will be placing a call into the Comcast Internets helpless desk. I lost two years of my life the last time the “tech” told me to use the “power surge” technique FOUR FUCKIN TIMES, after calmly explaining to this honors degree graduate of Hooked on Phonics that his “power surge” technique was about as useful as a limp dick on a porn set.
I pray for competency, and hope for at least mediocrity if forced to deal with calling in. And if they suggest I use their “online customer service tools” again, I might just flip the hell out.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Brokeback Internet
Why must thee go limp wristed on me? No porn, No WWdN tournament, and no pokery adventures/bad beat stories/brags for this morning. I was rolling along as a happy internet surfing monkey last night when my connection suddenly went out while watching the attractive Svetlana Zhurova tear up the speedskating competition. One concern… how big are those thighs some of those women had? I love an athletic woman, but I think most of the skaters could have walked up to The Governator in his Mr. Olympia days and called him chicken legs. Too bad about the Bode Miller hype, getting DQ’d after a decent downhill run, but the US did manage to snag the gold as “second fiddle” teammate Ted Ligety nailed his 2nd slalom run to win the combined event.
Note to NBC… more women’s curling (SKOL MINNESOTA!!!)
While I was setting up a home-game at my grandpa’s senior-assisted living complex over the weekend I managed to catch the US women’s hockey game (SKOL MINNESOTA!!!) vs. some country that’s not Canada so the US were going to pummel them like Chico's Bail Bond's Bad News Bears before Tatum O’Neal decided to show the boys that girls can play too. This place wasn’t your run-down depressing nursing home atmosphere. Leather reclining poker chairs, big screen TV, maple finished pool table, two octagon leather felted poker tables, and a dartboard for those who like that sort of thing. Mom made some teriyaki chicken wings and chocolate chip bars (the kind with too much butter that melt in your mouth before you even start chewing) and everyone brought assorted chips, dips, and Miller High Life! Can’t go wrong the champagne of beers.
5000 chips, 9 people, high stakes of $10 a person, and guess who won. I’ll give you a hint… he never wins coin flips, loves to surf the net for Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures, and occasionally leaves comments on other blogs.
Your hero took it down by playing good cards and staying ahead of the 15 minute levels and doubling blinds. Is it wrong to feel good that your grandpa’s flush didn’t get there after flopping a set? Afterwards, I “let” him kick my ass in a 3-man game of cutthroat pool afterwards so I didn’t feel as bad (disclaimer: while some people “pretend” they can’t play pool, I truly suck). $45 profit from poker minus $10 entry minus $1 lost to Minnesota Fats (aka grandpa) = $34 profit, not counting the 7-10 pounds I put on eating up the chocolate chip bars, wings, and drinking cheap beer.
It’s unfortunate that my family and friends (Burnsie managed to sneak away from his hungover wife to join us) can’t get together more often to play and talk a bit afterwards, because I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like. People in G-Vegas and LA are spoiled with all their home games that are readily accessible against good competition, while I get asked why I mucked A7o despite flopping a 7 on a board of 7 8 9 with two people betting. I like the interaction more then the action, the poker skill level is low, but the fun factor more then makes up for it. Perhaps after the wives are done squirting out babies, my friends will be able to get together on a more regular basis and maybe rival Murderer’s Row in the future.
Thanks for dropping by, now here’s a video found by my old DAoC friends. Pwned or Dickhead Parent? You decide.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happy Hallmark Day!
The WPBT Imperial Palace champ is asking for Filipino bone marrow donors for a friend's girlfriend in need of a donor. If you fit the ethnic description, please contact him thru this link, or click on "Studioglyphic" link in my blog roll on the right to find the correct website.
A member of FullTiltForum named Carol put together a private tournament at Full Tilt on Sunday February 26th as a fund-raiser for a member whose fiancee has been diagnosed with Leukemia. It is a $10+$16 NL tourney, with $15 of the fee going to the fundraiser.
What: Suckout on Leukemia
When: Sun, Feb 26th @ 17:00
How Much: $10 + 16
Password: playforjill
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm taking today to recoop a bit as I've been up late for the past few nights and its Valentine's Day!
It used to mean getting a hummer in exchange for a nice dinner, a $4.25 card, and a rose from the gas station. Now, its a chinese buffet with a screaming toddler and many prayers that he doesn't decide to take a dump in his Bob the Builder underroos while dishing up some Sesame chicken and cream cheese wontons and falling into a MSG-induced coma when finally getting home.
Make sure you give your kids, spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/favorite sex toy, and your fellow blogger an extra hug today because Hallmark says so!
I'll be writing bit more tomorrow about a home game with my grandfather over the weekend, and some wonderful service at the greatest retailer in the US!
Thanks for dropping by now please visit the links above and help out those in need.
A member of FullTiltForum named Carol put together a private tournament at Full Tilt on Sunday February 26th as a fund-raiser for a member whose fiancee has been diagnosed with Leukemia. It is a $10+$16 NL tourney, with $15 of the fee going to the fundraiser.
What: Suckout on Leukemia
When: Sun, Feb 26th @ 17:00
How Much: $10 + 16
Password: playforjill
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm taking today to recoop a bit as I've been up late for the past few nights and its Valentine's Day!
It used to mean getting a hummer in exchange for a nice dinner, a $4.25 card, and a rose from the gas station. Now, its a chinese buffet with a screaming toddler and many prayers that he doesn't decide to take a dump in his Bob the Builder underroos while dishing up some Sesame chicken and cream cheese wontons and falling into a MSG-induced coma when finally getting home.
Make sure you give your kids, spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/favorite sex toy, and your fellow blogger an extra hug today because Hallmark says so!
I'll be writing bit more tomorrow about a home game with my grandfather over the weekend, and some wonderful service at the greatest retailer in the US!
Thanks for dropping by now please visit the links above and help out those in need.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Ramble Rumble
Dear Players Club Customer Service,
I recently received an offer in the mail for a reduced room rate at your casino and decided to take you up on the offer. But unfortunately I was told this morning that there are no rooms available on the February 16th date that me and my family wanted to visit.
Could I be contacted should a room become available, or possibly receive the same rate at one of your other hotels should they have an opening?
Thank you in advance for your considerations.
This was a short email I sent to Grand Casino Hinckley after being told there were no rooms available for President’s Day weekend. Ah, the power of the electronic pen was realized when my wife answered the phone on Saturday morning and a room at one of their hotels (they have three) just happened to “open up”. I’m definitely not in Grubby’s realm of procuring casino comps, but I guess I spent enough trips (and penny slots dollars) there while going up to my cabin for “preferred” treatment. Thursday night may mean getting there in time for one of their poker tournaments and you my dear reader or two will get to hear my whinny bust-out story on Friday!
Poker has continued to remain in the black for February as I had another successful weekend at the PLO8 tables on PokerStars and Party. Yes, I have been playing at Party. Despite the hokey graphics, horrible customer service, and those stupid side bets/blackjack buttons, its still a decent place to find a hold em’ player wandering into the Omaha pool. How can you spot a Hold Em’ player at an Omaha table? (actual quotes taken from the cash games this weekend)
First Clue: “Of course, only I could lose to Quads”
This is after getting his flop bet pot-raised and turn bet re-raised all-in on a board of 5 6 9 9 Q. Obviously you can’t be so gun-shy that you’d assume the other guy has quads, but when you’re holding KK56 in Omaha 8-or-better and someone bets the pot on the flop he is telling you one of four things:
1) I have a straight, please lay your hand down and don’t draw out the low on me
2) I flopped a set, please don’t have the straight, I might cry if the board doesn’t pair
3) I have a low only wrap draw (keep these people on your buddy list as drawing to half the pot is the biggest mistake you can make in PLO8).
4) Dude, what the fuck are you playing KK56 anywhere besides the blinds
Second Clue: “Only I could lose with Aces”
Here’s a hint to those not familiar with Omaha…. POCKET ACES ARE NOT THAT GREAT IN OMAHA ESPECIALLY IN O8. But but but Aces are the best starting hand in “poker”! Yes, and I’m sorry that my straight plus a nut low “got there”, but keep bettin those aces sir, one pair is gold! Omaha is all about drawing, having draws, having re-draws, and then drawing again after your done drawing. There’s more drawing in a game of Omaha then you’d find at the Louvre. Always. Be. Drawing. (this will be repeated over and over in many of my “strategy” posts). Yes, there are times you SHOULD bet that two pair, or bluff at a dangerous board when someone stops betting after they have been slamming the pot bet button harder then a stunt dick in a double penetration scene for Vivid videos. Ok I grossed myself out there. But for the beginner, if someone bets the pot at a dangerous board, 9 times out of 10, they’ll have it (or have a big draw), back off and wait for the next hand.
Last Clue: “LOLOLOLOL nice drawing dikhed, wtf u cal wit that crap 4”
No one is immune to saying the above but if you’re reading here the AOL-speak comment may confuzzle you. Most likely you would say the above in a calmer tone with more like real words and stuff. I’ve borrowed from Felicia the “nice hand sir” comment when someone’s runner-runner gets there and they had no business staying in the hand. But when you have 15+ outs, and most of them to the nuts (that is an important factor, when in doubt, draw to the nuts or not at all) you SHOULD call that raise even though you are probably behind at the moment.
Ok, no more stupid advice on a “non-poker” games. One of these days I vow to actually become competent at all of poker’s variations but for now I’ll have to settle for being a student of the game that makes some side cash after selling plasma and sperm every other week.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyone watching the Olympics?
I said I wouldn’t watch but DAMN, dudes going 85 m.p.h. on a sled is exciting to me! Hell, even the cross-country skiing competition got my attention. Who won’t be glued to the set during the Curling matches?!?!? Sorry no sarcasm today, I enjoy watching all of the winter sports… except Snowboarding.
What a useless piece of bong resin. Stoned out duuuuuuude flip thru the air to be judged in a way only figure skating judges can figure out. And we know from the last Olympics how “fair” those judges can be.
The snowboard races from the X-Games on ESPN?
Awesome.
2880 (that’s 8 circles for the Geometric deficient) front fakey jimmy flip with a blaze out but only getting a 5.2 from the Japanese judge? Not-so-awesome. I’ll take Eddie the Eagle landing 500 feet behind everyone else in the ski jumping competition over any sport that relies on someone else’s opinion to determine a winner. How would you like it if someone came up to your poker tournament table and said “the 9 seat’s hand looked much more pretty after the turn, despite your rivered nut flush we are going to award him the pot”.
Great “sport” sir.
Thanks for dropping by, now I must retreat back to my bite size cubical so I can listen to my neighbor hack up a lung for the next 9 hours. Happy Monday!!!
I recently received an offer in the mail for a reduced room rate at your casino and decided to take you up on the offer. But unfortunately I was told this morning that there are no rooms available on the February 16th date that me and my family wanted to visit.
Could I be contacted should a room become available, or possibly receive the same rate at one of your other hotels should they have an opening?
Thank you in advance for your considerations.
This was a short email I sent to Grand Casino Hinckley after being told there were no rooms available for President’s Day weekend. Ah, the power of the electronic pen was realized when my wife answered the phone on Saturday morning and a room at one of their hotels (they have three) just happened to “open up”. I’m definitely not in Grubby’s realm of procuring casino comps, but I guess I spent enough trips (and penny slots dollars) there while going up to my cabin for “preferred” treatment. Thursday night may mean getting there in time for one of their poker tournaments and you my dear reader or two will get to hear my whinny bust-out story on Friday!
Poker has continued to remain in the black for February as I had another successful weekend at the PLO8 tables on PokerStars and Party. Yes, I have been playing at Party. Despite the hokey graphics, horrible customer service, and those stupid side bets/blackjack buttons, its still a decent place to find a hold em’ player wandering into the Omaha pool. How can you spot a Hold Em’ player at an Omaha table? (actual quotes taken from the cash games this weekend)
First Clue: “Of course, only I could lose to Quads”
This is after getting his flop bet pot-raised and turn bet re-raised all-in on a board of 5 6 9 9 Q. Obviously you can’t be so gun-shy that you’d assume the other guy has quads, but when you’re holding KK56 in Omaha 8-or-better and someone bets the pot on the flop he is telling you one of four things:
1) I have a straight, please lay your hand down and don’t draw out the low on me
2) I flopped a set, please don’t have the straight, I might cry if the board doesn’t pair
3) I have a low only wrap draw (keep these people on your buddy list as drawing to half the pot is the biggest mistake you can make in PLO8).
4) Dude, what the fuck are you playing KK56 anywhere besides the blinds
Second Clue: “Only I could lose with Aces”
Here’s a hint to those not familiar with Omaha…. POCKET ACES ARE NOT THAT GREAT IN OMAHA ESPECIALLY IN O8. But but but Aces are the best starting hand in “poker”! Yes, and I’m sorry that my straight plus a nut low “got there”, but keep bettin those aces sir, one pair is gold! Omaha is all about drawing, having draws, having re-draws, and then drawing again after your done drawing. There’s more drawing in a game of Omaha then you’d find at the Louvre. Always. Be. Drawing. (this will be repeated over and over in many of my “strategy” posts). Yes, there are times you SHOULD bet that two pair, or bluff at a dangerous board when someone stops betting after they have been slamming the pot bet button harder then a stunt dick in a double penetration scene for Vivid videos. Ok I grossed myself out there. But for the beginner, if someone bets the pot at a dangerous board, 9 times out of 10, they’ll have it (or have a big draw), back off and wait for the next hand.
Last Clue: “LOLOLOLOL nice drawing dikhed, wtf u cal wit that crap 4”
No one is immune to saying the above but if you’re reading here the AOL-speak comment may confuzzle you. Most likely you would say the above in a calmer tone with more like real words and stuff. I’ve borrowed from Felicia the “nice hand sir” comment when someone’s runner-runner gets there and they had no business staying in the hand. But when you have 15+ outs, and most of them to the nuts (that is an important factor, when in doubt, draw to the nuts or not at all) you SHOULD call that raise even though you are probably behind at the moment.
Ok, no more stupid advice on a “non-poker” games. One of these days I vow to actually become competent at all of poker’s variations but for now I’ll have to settle for being a student of the game that makes some side cash after selling plasma and sperm every other week.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyone watching the Olympics?
I said I wouldn’t watch but DAMN, dudes going 85 m.p.h. on a sled is exciting to me! Hell, even the cross-country skiing competition got my attention. Who won’t be glued to the set during the Curling matches?!?!? Sorry no sarcasm today, I enjoy watching all of the winter sports… except Snowboarding.
What a useless piece of bong resin. Stoned out duuuuuuude flip thru the air to be judged in a way only figure skating judges can figure out. And we know from the last Olympics how “fair” those judges can be.
The snowboard races from the X-Games on ESPN?
Awesome.
2880 (that’s 8 circles for the Geometric deficient) front fakey jimmy flip with a blaze out but only getting a 5.2 from the Japanese judge? Not-so-awesome. I’ll take Eddie the Eagle landing 500 feet behind everyone else in the ski jumping competition over any sport that relies on someone else’s opinion to determine a winner. How would you like it if someone came up to your poker tournament table and said “the 9 seat’s hand looked much more pretty after the turn, despite your rivered nut flush we are going to award him the pot”.
Great “sport” sir.
Thanks for dropping by, now I must retreat back to my bite size cubical so I can listen to my neighbor hack up a lung for the next 9 hours. Happy Monday!!!
Friday, February 10, 2006
Is It Ok To Get Lucky?
Even without Peppermint lotion?
BR is up, tissue usage is down.
Chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is until you call all-in right into the nuts.
Enjoy your weekend folks, Drizz's drinking has begun.
Cheers to all.
BR is up, tissue usage is down.
Chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is until you call all-in right into the nuts.
Enjoy your weekend folks, Drizz's drinking has begun.
Cheers to all.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
The Fine Line
First off, muy thanks to DuggleBogey for the awesome banner. Finally, one step towards making this blog look the opposite of retarded.
Many players never learn the lesson of humility before it’s too late and they tilt away their bankrolls. They whine mercilessly about the beats they’ve received on the real and virtual felt. I certainly am not immune to crying about my luck in tourneys. There’s a reason why I try to shy away from playing in tournaments, and most of it has to do with the mental aspect. I can handle losing $100-$200 in a cash game due to a beat, but “suckout” on me during a $1 PokerStars tourney and I’ll go postal. To a point, I can handle losing a coin flip or having another hand dominated, and losing to a runner-runner but its tough during a tourney. My immediate cop out is “I just didn’t get lucky”, and what is in the back of my head is “what a fuckin idiot for playing those crappy cards, in that position, with that chip stack, on that board”.
Is it really productive to be thinking that? You can’t “run them twice”. If you’re in a freezeout tourney and the luckbox had more chips then you, you can’t re-enter. You can’t go back to fifth grade and tell that chick that you teased with the bowl cut and bad teeth that grew up to be a Victoria Secrets catalog cover-girl that she’s really hot and you’d worship the ground she walks on till she finally blossoms into that goddess sporting the 38DD rack. Nor will anything you say or type change the fact that your cards plus the board cards (if you’re playing a game with board cards), do not have a higher ranking hand then your opponent. Do not pass Go, Do not collect the pot, go straight to tilt jail and hopefully you won’t get cornholed by the predators watching your every move hoping to capitalize on the fact your guards are down and your virgin ass is exposed for a pummeling last seen in a Jenna Jamison double feature.
Why did you get put on tilt in the first place? Because the results of the game did not go in your favor via “suckout” or because you’re the better player thus SHOULD win?
There’s the rub.
If you’re reading this trash of a blog, you’re probably a competent poker player, read your Sklansky or Ray-Zee (if you roll like that), you may be profitable, you can fold sOOted cards… at least half the time, and you wish that Lindsay Lohan would put on a little weight so she’d be hot again.
But do you think you should win solely based on your skill level versus your opponent’s level? Granted over time, your skill will net you more wins then losses (if you're a "good" player) but poker isn’t Madden’s 2006 where you can stimulate an entire season based upon your team’s strengths and weakness vs. the computer’s variables. You and I are playing today, not tomorrow, not last week, not next year, we’re playing now. In the present you may have just won 25 straight hands where you were an underdog and now think that you’re God’s gift to poker because poker is all about the money scoreboard, right? Bigger bankroll, higher limits, ego the size of the Gobi desert, penis size that would make Ron Jeremy go out to buy a double supply of MaxiPro. You got it all, the knowledge, the panache, and greenbacks. How could you ever lose to that idiot? Doesn’t he/she know that you should have won based on pot odds, pre-flop (or first three/five cards dealt in Stud) to-win percentages, and Orion’s Belt aligning with Saturn and Neptune to favor you?
Poker is random; it always will be random, just like any card game. As stated above, there is no replay function at a card table. All results are final, no rainchecks accepted, wagers cannot be reversed once purchased, buy at your own risk. So, the next time someone makes a “bad play” at your table, before you pass judgment upon that person, take a step back and replay the hand in your head and think about ALL of the constraints. Stack size, position, aggressive or passive table, what have you shown down when you raised, how many hands has he/she won recently, the limit of the table, the apparent skill level of players at the table, did he/she try the veal, etc…?
After looking back at the hand you might say “hey, if I was in his/her position I might have done the same thing” or “that play made no sense what so ever” and adapt to their skill level. At that point the heavens will sing your favorite Monster Ballad and you might be one step closer to improving your game.
Thanks for dropping by, now go forth, win lots of monies, and have plenty of Marshmallow Peep Sex on Full Tilt!
Many players never learn the lesson of humility before it’s too late and they tilt away their bankrolls. They whine mercilessly about the beats they’ve received on the real and virtual felt. I certainly am not immune to crying about my luck in tourneys. There’s a reason why I try to shy away from playing in tournaments, and most of it has to do with the mental aspect. I can handle losing $100-$200 in a cash game due to a beat, but “suckout” on me during a $1 PokerStars tourney and I’ll go postal. To a point, I can handle losing a coin flip or having another hand dominated, and losing to a runner-runner but its tough during a tourney. My immediate cop out is “I just didn’t get lucky”, and what is in the back of my head is “what a fuckin idiot for playing those crappy cards, in that position, with that chip stack, on that board”.
Is it really productive to be thinking that? You can’t “run them twice”. If you’re in a freezeout tourney and the luckbox had more chips then you, you can’t re-enter. You can’t go back to fifth grade and tell that chick that you teased with the bowl cut and bad teeth that grew up to be a Victoria Secrets catalog cover-girl that she’s really hot and you’d worship the ground she walks on till she finally blossoms into that goddess sporting the 38DD rack. Nor will anything you say or type change the fact that your cards plus the board cards (if you’re playing a game with board cards), do not have a higher ranking hand then your opponent. Do not pass Go, Do not collect the pot, go straight to tilt jail and hopefully you won’t get cornholed by the predators watching your every move hoping to capitalize on the fact your guards are down and your virgin ass is exposed for a pummeling last seen in a Jenna Jamison double feature.
Why did you get put on tilt in the first place? Because the results of the game did not go in your favor via “suckout” or because you’re the better player thus SHOULD win?
There’s the rub.
If you’re reading this trash of a blog, you’re probably a competent poker player, read your Sklansky or Ray-Zee (if you roll like that), you may be profitable, you can fold sOOted cards… at least half the time, and you wish that Lindsay Lohan would put on a little weight so she’d be hot again.
But do you think you should win solely based on your skill level versus your opponent’s level? Granted over time, your skill will net you more wins then losses (if you're a "good" player) but poker isn’t Madden’s 2006 where you can stimulate an entire season based upon your team’s strengths and weakness vs. the computer’s variables. You and I are playing today, not tomorrow, not last week, not next year, we’re playing now. In the present you may have just won 25 straight hands where you were an underdog and now think that you’re God’s gift to poker because poker is all about the money scoreboard, right? Bigger bankroll, higher limits, ego the size of the Gobi desert, penis size that would make Ron Jeremy go out to buy a double supply of MaxiPro. You got it all, the knowledge, the panache, and greenbacks. How could you ever lose to that idiot? Doesn’t he/she know that you should have won based on pot odds, pre-flop (or first three/five cards dealt in Stud) to-win percentages, and Orion’s Belt aligning with Saturn and Neptune to favor you?
Poker is random; it always will be random, just like any card game. As stated above, there is no replay function at a card table. All results are final, no rainchecks accepted, wagers cannot be reversed once purchased, buy at your own risk. So, the next time someone makes a “bad play” at your table, before you pass judgment upon that person, take a step back and replay the hand in your head and think about ALL of the constraints. Stack size, position, aggressive or passive table, what have you shown down when you raised, how many hands has he/she won recently, the limit of the table, the apparent skill level of players at the table, did he/she try the veal, etc…?
After looking back at the hand you might say “hey, if I was in his/her position I might have done the same thing” or “that play made no sense what so ever” and adapt to their skill level. At that point the heavens will sing your favorite Monster Ballad and you might be one step closer to improving your game.
Thanks for dropping by, now go forth, win lots of monies, and have plenty of Marshmallow Peep Sex on Full Tilt!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Save BG
I'm pretty picky when it comes to chariable donations. I give to the United Way and Courage Center, because they are the two organizations I believe in and have seen their contributions up front and personal.
For several years after my work accident, I was unable to enjoy many things that life had to offer. My marriage consisted of maybe sitting on the same couch watching TV, me hooked to a online game and her caring for me when I had a seizure. I didn't spent three years locked in my duplex, but it felt like it. The daily routine was, wake-up, have a taxi bring me to work, hope that I didn't have a seizure at work, come home, play online game, go to bed. This was repeated over and over for about two years. How or why my wife never left me still boggles my mind. Maybe she still saw the athletic guy hitting home runs while spouting off metaphors and one-liners with Dangerfield tenacity and not the depressed, broken lump of life who spat at himself while looking in the mirror.
But something changed me.
Friends and Family.
People like Burnsie, E, BJ, Jay, Fuckin Rice, my sister-in-law, my parents, my brother and sister and of course my beautiful wife. They chipped away at the shell of depression with seemingly simple offers of going out to grab a beer or two or just coming over to hang out and watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off (my favorite movie). Then I found internet poker as I needed to ween myself from my gaming addiction, playing the play chip tables at EmpirePoker. Wanting to learn more I found the United Poker Forums with Roy Cooke and a poster there named Felicia Lee who would invite people to read about her tournament and cash game crushings in a writing tone that only she can pull off.
Eventually I took the leap from serial commentor (with the gracious help of a diminutive sage) to becoming a blogger myself. And here I found even more friends to chip away the last pieces of that dark gloom that surrounded me. The live WPBT events put me over the top, meeting these people in real life, and knocking back SoCos and Cap'n Cokes while slinging cards and jokes. Since I don't hear very well (I'm pretty much deaf with a thick MinnesOOOtan accent most of the time I don't understand myself when I speak) I have to rely on IMs and IRC chatting for the rest of the year, but have managed to have several long meaningful conversations that have helped me get back to being the geeky, skinny guy with smile on his face and a quip or two in his pocket.
An awakinging if you will.
So, when I heard through other bloggers that BG could use some help with his hospital bills it was like betting on the river while holding a Royal Flush. I hope that you get well soon Tony. I know that my $20 won't pay for much more then a macaroni and cheese lunch at the hospital, but if other bloggers hop into the fray as they've done in the past. Hopefully we'll put together enough cash to get you an extra block of j-e-l-l-o to go with lunch.
Your friend,
Dave
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Molars, Canines, and Incisors
People speak of their dental appointments in the same respect as they do about their mother-in-law moving in for a month or three. Seeing that my last appointment was back when I was a freshly minted married man (that’s five and half blissful years of looking but not touching for those at home) and had just bought a new house, the wife thought it was time to visit the local ADA approved tooth expert.
So, as soon as I got home yesterday we dressed up Little Drizz to eat at the local Burger King with a super cool mini playground because eating fast food right before a dentist appointment is a sure-fire way to dazzle the hot co-ed assistant with short white skirt, and hint of DD cleavage showing everytime she’d bend down to take another X-ray. After snacking on passable “Chicken Fries” with some surprisingly good honey BBQ sauce, I called for the boy to finish going down the slide one more time because it was time to go.
But on the top tier of the gym he stared blankly back at me after I asked him a second time to come down.
Ruh-roh.
Parents of toddlers may recognize this stare and silence as the Britney Spears or “Oops I Did It Again… in my pants”. After calming telling him it was ok and trying not to make too much a scene for the only other family in the playground area, I took him into the bathroom to assess the damage.
And there was lots of it.
Want to learn humility? A good lesson in humility is spending 10 minutes in a Burger King bathroom cleaning shit that is smeared all over the toilet, then having to manually de-clog the toilet before it overflowed because you used too many wipes and there was no plunger, trying to hurry because you have a dentist appointment, all while trying to clean up a naked toddler before he spreads even more shit throughout the bathroom. I’m sure parents out there reading this have had at least one of these episodes while potty training the little ones, but talk about bad timing. Luckily the wife was prepared and had some spare clothes but that didn’t exactly choke the smell of the newly soiled pants as our car smelt like a Minnesota State Fair port-a-potty that’s next to the chili cheese fries stand. Ok, maybe not that bad but rancid enough to break through my stuffed up nose.
After spending quality time cleaning the King’s throne, we arrived at the non-descript dental office owned by two brothers I guessing they’re brothers since they both had the same last name, they could be cousins for all I know. The waiting room contained two leather couches, a magazine selection that you’d find in the rec room of a nursing home, but thankfully there were some odd lego-like toys to keep Little Drizz busy. The assistant came out to announce it was my turn for torture. She was more Golden Girls then Girls Gone Wild, a minor disappointment but you can’t win them all. Before I laid back in the leather chair that squeaked a little while getting myself comfortable, I was under the assumption that I was just getting my teeth cleaned and would be done in 15 minutes.
40 minutes, a couple of concertos playing in the background, and about 5 billion X-rays later, she finally starts the pick and clean routine that I was hoping for. “We needed to update your records” was the excuse despite my not asking for full service. I went along with it despite knowing I’d have a cranky six month pregnant wife in the waiting room with a be-fouled smelling hyper-toddler who has more energy then the output of your run-of-the-mill nuclear reactor.
Thankfully the rest of the visit was expedient as the dentist came in and said some words about maintaining my oral hygiene and pointed a lot to the X-rays. I tuned him out at this point, because my mind was tuned into getting home to watch “Las Vegas” and lose some money while chasing draws in PLO8. And after receiving the obligatory toothbrush/toothpaste set I was deemed well enough to smile again in public.
After reading Herry and the New Sister (think Sesame Street) to the little one, I kissed the wife good night as she had “Las Vegas” on to some strip club scene where Danny of course needed to go to find some information that only a pole dancer from his past would know. God bless Vegas.
My time on the virtual felt didn’t quite match the fun of the strip club scene. I got quartered on a hand that I made two mistakes. Calling a flop pot bet with only a nut low (I did have counterfeit protection at least), and “value betting” the turn with only the nut low. The river gave me a wheel low plus a six high straight, but I still paid off the obvious flush that got there (with a wheel as well). The hand should have only cost me 10BBs but ending up spearing me for almost half my stack. Bad aggression in the wrong place against a solid player isn’t a good recipe for success at PLO8. That negated a nice nut-nut hand on my other table where I got all of the high and 1/3 of the low against two all-ins that chased with just their A2 lows.
Always. Be. Drawing.
I finished the night by outlasting UpForPoker in a 180-person SnG, bowing out in the 50s due to losing a coin flip QQ vs AK (shock! Horror!), then donking off my chips in a massive 1900+ player $3 MTT on the bubble (since when is the SB allowed to wake up with Aces when you’re on a steal?!!?!?). I could only laugh off my stupidity after that one.
Thanks for dropping by. No sarcastic wit here as my thoughts and prayers are out there for some people in our little community who are having a rough go at it at the moment. Please get well soon BG, Change100, and Falstaff.
Perhaps a joke from my sister-in-law may cheer you up…
An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through she leans over and says, "I just let a silent fart what do you think I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
So, as soon as I got home yesterday we dressed up Little Drizz to eat at the local Burger King with a super cool mini playground because eating fast food right before a dentist appointment is a sure-fire way to dazzle the hot co-ed assistant with short white skirt, and hint of DD cleavage showing everytime she’d bend down to take another X-ray. After snacking on passable “Chicken Fries” with some surprisingly good honey BBQ sauce, I called for the boy to finish going down the slide one more time because it was time to go.
But on the top tier of the gym he stared blankly back at me after I asked him a second time to come down.
Ruh-roh.
Parents of toddlers may recognize this stare and silence as the Britney Spears or “Oops I Did It Again… in my pants”. After calming telling him it was ok and trying not to make too much a scene for the only other family in the playground area, I took him into the bathroom to assess the damage.
And there was lots of it.
Want to learn humility? A good lesson in humility is spending 10 minutes in a Burger King bathroom cleaning shit that is smeared all over the toilet, then having to manually de-clog the toilet before it overflowed because you used too many wipes and there was no plunger, trying to hurry because you have a dentist appointment, all while trying to clean up a naked toddler before he spreads even more shit throughout the bathroom. I’m sure parents out there reading this have had at least one of these episodes while potty training the little ones, but talk about bad timing. Luckily the wife was prepared and had some spare clothes but that didn’t exactly choke the smell of the newly soiled pants as our car smelt like a Minnesota State Fair port-a-potty that’s next to the chili cheese fries stand. Ok, maybe not that bad but rancid enough to break through my stuffed up nose.
After spending quality time cleaning the King’s throne, we arrived at the non-descript dental office owned by two brothers I guessing they’re brothers since they both had the same last name, they could be cousins for all I know. The waiting room contained two leather couches, a magazine selection that you’d find in the rec room of a nursing home, but thankfully there were some odd lego-like toys to keep Little Drizz busy. The assistant came out to announce it was my turn for torture. She was more Golden Girls then Girls Gone Wild, a minor disappointment but you can’t win them all. Before I laid back in the leather chair that squeaked a little while getting myself comfortable, I was under the assumption that I was just getting my teeth cleaned and would be done in 15 minutes.
40 minutes, a couple of concertos playing in the background, and about 5 billion X-rays later, she finally starts the pick and clean routine that I was hoping for. “We needed to update your records” was the excuse despite my not asking for full service. I went along with it despite knowing I’d have a cranky six month pregnant wife in the waiting room with a be-fouled smelling hyper-toddler who has more energy then the output of your run-of-the-mill nuclear reactor.
Thankfully the rest of the visit was expedient as the dentist came in and said some words about maintaining my oral hygiene and pointed a lot to the X-rays. I tuned him out at this point, because my mind was tuned into getting home to watch “Las Vegas” and lose some money while chasing draws in PLO8. And after receiving the obligatory toothbrush/toothpaste set I was deemed well enough to smile again in public.
After reading Herry and the New Sister (think Sesame Street) to the little one, I kissed the wife good night as she had “Las Vegas” on to some strip club scene where Danny of course needed to go to find some information that only a pole dancer from his past would know. God bless Vegas.
My time on the virtual felt didn’t quite match the fun of the strip club scene. I got quartered on a hand that I made two mistakes. Calling a flop pot bet with only a nut low (I did have counterfeit protection at least), and “value betting” the turn with only the nut low. The river gave me a wheel low plus a six high straight, but I still paid off the obvious flush that got there (with a wheel as well). The hand should have only cost me 10BBs but ending up spearing me for almost half my stack. Bad aggression in the wrong place against a solid player isn’t a good recipe for success at PLO8. That negated a nice nut-nut hand on my other table where I got all of the high and 1/3 of the low against two all-ins that chased with just their A2 lows.
Always. Be. Drawing.
I finished the night by outlasting UpForPoker in a 180-person SnG, bowing out in the 50s due to losing a coin flip QQ vs AK (shock! Horror!), then donking off my chips in a massive 1900+ player $3 MTT on the bubble (since when is the SB allowed to wake up with Aces when you’re on a steal?!!?!?). I could only laugh off my stupidity after that one.
Thanks for dropping by. No sarcastic wit here as my thoughts and prayers are out there for some people in our little community who are having a rough go at it at the moment. Please get well soon BG, Change100, and Falstaff.
Perhaps a joke from my sister-in-law may cheer you up…
An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through she leans over and says, "I just let a silent fart what do you think I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
Monday, February 06, 2006
More Rigged: Online Poker or Super Bowl XL?
If Phil Hellmuth was a Seahawks fan he would probably pacing the Seattle Seahawks sideline late Sunday night wondering how the hell his team lost despite holding the best starting hand. If it wasn’t for luck, Hasslebeck would be MVP, and my sportsbook account would be a little healthier.
The refs decided during the coin-flip (which I lost a bet on because Tom Brady has a thumb muscle with the strength of a broken toothpick) “hey the Steelers have been shit on by us all playoffs, how about a little help!”. One Hail Mary pass, one lightning fast run, one trick play, and one VERY questionable touchdown ruling all add up to a happy Mean Gene and a month worth of The Bus career highlight reels on ESPN while they show the new SI subscription package that includes a commemorative game ball from Super Bowl XL and a referee’s yellow flag to be thrown anytime a Seattle player makes the decision to choose Coke over Pepsi. Steelers are a great team, but they were not the better team on the field last night. Untimely penalties on touchdown passes (Fingertip pushoffs? Holding on someone who was defending the QB near the Uzbekistan border?) led to a frustrated Seahawks offense and a defense that played well enough to win.
Am I being a little biased due to losing a bet? Maybe. On the flip side I was the benefactor of the Big Ben TD call, and at a 25-1 shot, it more then covered my overall game bet. Hosed, duped, shanghaied, gipped, sucked out, rivered… how ever you put it, Seahawks deserved to win but are going back to Washington with a heavy heart, and one heavy wallet that is looking to get filled.
Ok enough of the Terrible Towel trashing, the commercials were a bit lack luster but DID have its highlights:
The Monkey/Jackass commercial from Careerbuilder.com: Well done.
Ameriquest Mortgage hospital scene: Almost lost my beer through my nose.
Mastercard with MacGyver (who is the greatest TV action star besides Ranger Walker by the way): Could have been better, but Richard Dean Anderson is still the man.
Aleve with Spock: No.
Diet Pepsi with Jackie Chan: Thought it was going be horribly bad, but ended up shockingly original and stomped Coke’s commercials (parts of the Full Throttle commercial were ok but a bit overdone)
Emerald Nuts: 99.9% of the population doesn’t know what a Druid is, let alone find it funny that they are welding machetes. Please let this commercial die a horrible death from the hands of a +5 Staff of Instant Pink Slip
FedEx Caveman: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, this one had several stop and go laughs
The Adam Sandler new movie: Looked funny, needed more 38DD slow mo action of course because who doesn’t love boobs? GoDaddy.com’s 2.5 million dollar investment needed about 5 more seconds and more old guy point-of-view shots…
Hidden Bud Lights: Budweiser rarely misses and doesn’t here. The bear commercial and fan “wave” was also passable for some good laughs.
Burger King: More King super-imposed NFL highlights, less confusing chicks dressed up as condiments. Everyone loves women pilled on top of each other but this just didn’t work.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beside football I did manage to give away some money to other offshore accounts playing poker.
My experiment with Turbo SnGs on Stars died a horrible death as I realized (and got reminded by a fellow Ray Zee-aholic) that my strength lies with pushing huge edges in cash games versus coin flips in a tournament setting. Don’t get me wrong, these turbo tourneys are extremely soft and easily beatable up to the $27 and $35 levels, but they require some psychological fortitude to take a string of beats that I do not possess at this time. When you are forced to push huge draws for all of your chips and don’t “get there” or have a hand that falls short of the mark to a “trash” hand it chips away at your psyche and you can go into Hellmuth rant mode that “I should win all the time if it wasn’t for luck”.
If you ever look at a board or screen after a beat and say start ranting about how you “should have won”, its time to get up, pour yourself a tall glass of shut-the-hell-up, and replay the action of the hand to make sure YOU didn’t make any mistakes.
Did your opponent tell you that you were outdrawn yet you called anyway? An ante saved is an ante earned to paraphrase of couple people smarter then I.
Thanks for dropping by, now if you had a favorite commercial other then the ones I listed or disagree with my criticism of the Super Bowl drop me a line and I’ll be happy to ignore you! Just kidding, but I’m thinking non-Steeler fans will side with my observations… of the game at least.
The refs decided during the coin-flip (which I lost a bet on because Tom Brady has a thumb muscle with the strength of a broken toothpick) “hey the Steelers have been shit on by us all playoffs, how about a little help!”. One Hail Mary pass, one lightning fast run, one trick play, and one VERY questionable touchdown ruling all add up to a happy Mean Gene and a month worth of The Bus career highlight reels on ESPN while they show the new SI subscription package that includes a commemorative game ball from Super Bowl XL and a referee’s yellow flag to be thrown anytime a Seattle player makes the decision to choose Coke over Pepsi. Steelers are a great team, but they were not the better team on the field last night. Untimely penalties on touchdown passes (Fingertip pushoffs? Holding on someone who was defending the QB near the Uzbekistan border?) led to a frustrated Seahawks offense and a defense that played well enough to win.
Am I being a little biased due to losing a bet? Maybe. On the flip side I was the benefactor of the Big Ben TD call, and at a 25-1 shot, it more then covered my overall game bet. Hosed, duped, shanghaied, gipped, sucked out, rivered… how ever you put it, Seahawks deserved to win but are going back to Washington with a heavy heart, and one heavy wallet that is looking to get filled.
Ok enough of the Terrible Towel trashing, the commercials were a bit lack luster but DID have its highlights:
The Monkey/Jackass commercial from Careerbuilder.com: Well done.
Ameriquest Mortgage hospital scene: Almost lost my beer through my nose.
Mastercard with MacGyver (who is the greatest TV action star besides Ranger Walker by the way): Could have been better, but Richard Dean Anderson is still the man.
Aleve with Spock: No.
Diet Pepsi with Jackie Chan: Thought it was going be horribly bad, but ended up shockingly original and stomped Coke’s commercials (parts of the Full Throttle commercial were ok but a bit overdone)
Emerald Nuts: 99.9% of the population doesn’t know what a Druid is, let alone find it funny that they are welding machetes. Please let this commercial die a horrible death from the hands of a +5 Staff of Instant Pink Slip
FedEx Caveman: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, this one had several stop and go laughs
The Adam Sandler new movie: Looked funny, needed more 38DD slow mo action of course because who doesn’t love boobs? GoDaddy.com’s 2.5 million dollar investment needed about 5 more seconds and more old guy point-of-view shots…
Hidden Bud Lights: Budweiser rarely misses and doesn’t here. The bear commercial and fan “wave” was also passable for some good laughs.
Burger King: More King super-imposed NFL highlights, less confusing chicks dressed up as condiments. Everyone loves women pilled on top of each other but this just didn’t work.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beside football I did manage to give away some money to other offshore accounts playing poker.
My experiment with Turbo SnGs on Stars died a horrible death as I realized (and got reminded by a fellow Ray Zee-aholic) that my strength lies with pushing huge edges in cash games versus coin flips in a tournament setting. Don’t get me wrong, these turbo tourneys are extremely soft and easily beatable up to the $27 and $35 levels, but they require some psychological fortitude to take a string of beats that I do not possess at this time. When you are forced to push huge draws for all of your chips and don’t “get there” or have a hand that falls short of the mark to a “trash” hand it chips away at your psyche and you can go into Hellmuth rant mode that “I should win all the time if it wasn’t for luck”.
If you ever look at a board or screen after a beat and say start ranting about how you “should have won”, its time to get up, pour yourself a tall glass of shut-the-hell-up, and replay the action of the hand to make sure YOU didn’t make any mistakes.
Did your opponent tell you that you were outdrawn yet you called anyway? An ante saved is an ante earned to paraphrase of couple people smarter then I.
Thanks for dropping by, now if you had a favorite commercial other then the ones I listed or disagree with my criticism of the Super Bowl drop me a line and I’ll be happy to ignore you! Just kidding, but I’m thinking non-Steeler fans will side with my observations… of the game at least.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Happy Super Bowl Day!
Chicken wings are marinating.
Cheesey pota-to-es are are getting a nice crispy top.
Chex-mix by the pound is spread out upstairs and downstairs.
Beer is chilled at the right temperature for mass consumption.
Cards are fanned out for halftime.
Family and friends eagerly awaiting the coin flip so they can laugh at my face for losing ten dollars betting on Heads.
Good luck to the Seachickens for they hold the rest of my Sportsbook account money.
Cheesey pota-to-es are are getting a nice crispy top.
Chex-mix by the pound is spread out upstairs and downstairs.
Beer is chilled at the right temperature for mass consumption.
Cards are fanned out for halftime.
Family and friends eagerly awaiting the coin flip so they can laugh at my face for losing ten dollars betting on Heads.
Good luck to the Seachickens for they hold the rest of my Sportsbook account money.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Happy Merry Thursday!
I returned to the virtual felt last night for a couple of PLO8 Turbo SnGs just to see if I could handle the junk-kicking in a sane, non-suicidal postal worker manner. All while watching the Sciencetology freak get run down by the Quaker Oats guy. It was fun to compete again on the virtual felt.
Runner-runner straight on the bubble? No problem.
Hitting three outs on the turn after the money went in on a flopped flush and locked low? Shit happens.
Calling my all-in with 558J with an equal stack on the bubble and flopping a boat vs. my AA2K? Aces never win (this statement is for all you tin-foil hat wearers out there)!
But, I didn’t care about the beats.
Sure I wish my bubble finishes didn’t happen and I’d made the money in more then the three out of eight SnGs I played. I was more concerned with HOW I played, not the results. I could have called in a few more spots, but my aggression and overcalls were correct in getting the maximum out of the cards I held. Instead of ice cream with Heath bar Magic Shell, whip cream, peanuts, and cherries, it was more like a dish of plain vanilla as I cashed out a few bucks down for the night. Satisfying, but nothing to get your taste buds into a sugary frenzy over.
Are you playing again?
I’m dabbling; I want to show a solid profit at the $16 SnG level before hitting the $35s harder. If profit from the $16s do not pan out after a set of 200-300 SnGs, and I finally realize that SnGs do not fit my style of play by the end of February, I will return to the cash games full time and play $1/$2 PLO8 and the shorthanded LO8 tables. Maybe even become a bonus whore for a month and start playing with a binky/banky/wooby again in order to pad the bankroll for the attempts to play in the WSOP in June.
I have also had bad thoughts of returning to play Dark Age of Camelot. I need intervention because if I start playing this game again you may never see Little Drizz or Helloooooooo Nurse avatar check-raising some douche-bag on Stars or Full Tilt. I do realize I need some game/porn/net distraction in order to break the Poker! Poker! Poker! (this said with a Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! Brady Bunch flair for those scoring at home) mentality I have at times. Everyone gets rattled at the tables and needs a way to bring the tilt-o-meter down from the top of the Stratosphere.
My love growing up was video games, I R geek, I heart playing games for hours on end to reach the final boss and roll the credits of a game. Using cheat codes is optional but kinda takes the fun out of Samus not being able to die in Metroid. I believe video games will be my personal drug of choice to lower my tilt-o-meter. Not a game like Dark Age or Everquest, but some video game out there for the PC (any suggestions?) will help remind me that we WANT people consistently drawing to 5% chances to win after that two outer hits in the opponents favor. A good player WANTS people to play 47o and hit that ragged two pair on the river after not having any odds to do so. Because if you don’t see this type of play, it means players have gotten tighter (not necessarily better) and grinding out wins will become even tougher without a couple “live ones” at the table. And if you tilt, how are you going to get your money back with interest?
How do you deal with tilt is a crucial part of any semi-serious player. One could go the Mike Matusow route and toss a laptop towards the Pacific Ocean each time a beat happens. But, for normal people whose laptop or computer signifies a significant purchase, we need to have a more economical way of displacing stored-up anger from the cards not falling your way. Taking a couple of days or a week away from the game DOES help immensely. Think of the first breath of fresh air you inhale while visiting your cabin or going on vacation.
Feels good doesn’t it.
But, your game can suffer from playing in spurts and taking time off is not always the cure-all remedy to getting jackhammered to the balls/mid-section/taco what have you. A player must find that zen of sereneness and focus on the positive aspects of those cards not falling in your favor. It may seem like trying to push the boulder up the never-ending hill but unlike Sisyphus you can enjoy the proceeds of your hard work along the way… as long as you’re able to separate the play from the results. Good play over a period of time WILL produce results. You probably see many bloggers bitching about never catching cards, etc. (I’m certainly guilty of this) but for every bitch post you’ll also see posts about tournament wins/cashes, big pots raked in, and iPods pocketed that negate most of those suckouts.
I’m sure if John Juanda or Erik Seidel kept a blog it wouldn’t contain seven posts a week of “OMG I KILLED THE $1,000/$2,000 GAME LAST NIGHT” or “I WTFPWNZORZED THE $10K TOURNAMENT AGAIN THIS WEEK FOR THE 40TH WEEK IN A ROW!”. Great players go through ruts too just remember that the next time you get your money into the middle correctly but the results don’t pan out.
Thanks for dropping by, and I’d like to take a moment to thank Spike TV for the soft-core porn informericals this morning. Nothing says “WAKE UP!” like Wild Party Sorority Girls stripping just for you while you eat scrambled eggs and chocolate-chip pancakes!
Runner-runner straight on the bubble? No problem.
Hitting three outs on the turn after the money went in on a flopped flush and locked low? Shit happens.
Calling my all-in with 558J with an equal stack on the bubble and flopping a boat vs. my AA2K? Aces never win (this statement is for all you tin-foil hat wearers out there)!
But, I didn’t care about the beats.
Sure I wish my bubble finishes didn’t happen and I’d made the money in more then the three out of eight SnGs I played. I was more concerned with HOW I played, not the results. I could have called in a few more spots, but my aggression and overcalls were correct in getting the maximum out of the cards I held. Instead of ice cream with Heath bar Magic Shell, whip cream, peanuts, and cherries, it was more like a dish of plain vanilla as I cashed out a few bucks down for the night. Satisfying, but nothing to get your taste buds into a sugary frenzy over.
Are you playing again?
I’m dabbling; I want to show a solid profit at the $16 SnG level before hitting the $35s harder. If profit from the $16s do not pan out after a set of 200-300 SnGs, and I finally realize that SnGs do not fit my style of play by the end of February, I will return to the cash games full time and play $1/$2 PLO8 and the shorthanded LO8 tables. Maybe even become a bonus whore for a month and start playing with a binky/banky/wooby again in order to pad the bankroll for the attempts to play in the WSOP in June.
I have also had bad thoughts of returning to play Dark Age of Camelot. I need intervention because if I start playing this game again you may never see Little Drizz or Helloooooooo Nurse avatar check-raising some douche-bag on Stars or Full Tilt. I do realize I need some game/porn/net distraction in order to break the Poker! Poker! Poker! (this said with a Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! Brady Bunch flair for those scoring at home) mentality I have at times. Everyone gets rattled at the tables and needs a way to bring the tilt-o-meter down from the top of the Stratosphere.
My love growing up was video games, I R geek, I heart playing games for hours on end to reach the final boss and roll the credits of a game. Using cheat codes is optional but kinda takes the fun out of Samus not being able to die in Metroid. I believe video games will be my personal drug of choice to lower my tilt-o-meter. Not a game like Dark Age or Everquest, but some video game out there for the PC (any suggestions?) will help remind me that we WANT people consistently drawing to 5% chances to win after that two outer hits in the opponents favor. A good player WANTS people to play 47o and hit that ragged two pair on the river after not having any odds to do so. Because if you don’t see this type of play, it means players have gotten tighter (not necessarily better) and grinding out wins will become even tougher without a couple “live ones” at the table. And if you tilt, how are you going to get your money back with interest?
How do you deal with tilt is a crucial part of any semi-serious player. One could go the Mike Matusow route and toss a laptop towards the Pacific Ocean each time a beat happens. But, for normal people whose laptop or computer signifies a significant purchase, we need to have a more economical way of displacing stored-up anger from the cards not falling your way. Taking a couple of days or a week away from the game DOES help immensely. Think of the first breath of fresh air you inhale while visiting your cabin or going on vacation.
Feels good doesn’t it.
But, your game can suffer from playing in spurts and taking time off is not always the cure-all remedy to getting jackhammered to the balls/mid-section/taco what have you. A player must find that zen of sereneness and focus on the positive aspects of those cards not falling in your favor. It may seem like trying to push the boulder up the never-ending hill but unlike Sisyphus you can enjoy the proceeds of your hard work along the way… as long as you’re able to separate the play from the results. Good play over a period of time WILL produce results. You probably see many bloggers bitching about never catching cards, etc. (I’m certainly guilty of this) but for every bitch post you’ll also see posts about tournament wins/cashes, big pots raked in, and iPods pocketed that negate most of those suckouts.
I’m sure if John Juanda or Erik Seidel kept a blog it wouldn’t contain seven posts a week of “OMG I KILLED THE $1,000/$2,000 GAME LAST NIGHT” or “I WTFPWNZORZED THE $10K TOURNAMENT AGAIN THIS WEEK FOR THE 40TH WEEK IN A ROW!”. Great players go through ruts too just remember that the next time you get your money into the middle correctly but the results don’t pan out.
Thanks for dropping by, and I’d like to take a moment to thank Spike TV for the soft-core porn informericals this morning. Nothing says “WAKE UP!” like Wild Party Sorority Girls stripping just for you while you eat scrambled eggs and chocolate-chip pancakes!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Low Content Ahead!
Got a dozen Krispy Kremes this morning.
Snow fell last night.
Minnesota High School hockey is more entertaining to watch then 95% of the other junk on TV.
Didn’t watch King of Vegas last night, hoping that Chris TiVo’d it and will send me a copy of the episode :)
Who’s the Korean dude in the Seahawk’s uniform that I saw on Sportscenter this morning?
People at the supermarket who pack ALL of their items before bothering to pay with five people waiting in line need get their gonads chopped by a bear trap then have a very pregnant woman nag them to death for bitching about the loaf of bread being five cents too much after taking their sweet time to get up to the register and scan all 50 million items for cost. Love people watching, hate shopping, at least Little Drizz gets a free cookie (chocolate chip if your enquiring mind needs to know).
Kristanna Loken is rather attractive.
I finally beat my wife at backgammon; plastic chips can hurt when thrown.
Did I mention Krispy Kremes? Sooooooooooooo goooooooooooooood.
It’s a new month, here’s to hoping the cards are more kind in February. Peace.
Snow fell last night.
Minnesota High School hockey is more entertaining to watch then 95% of the other junk on TV.
Didn’t watch King of Vegas last night, hoping that Chris TiVo’d it and will send me a copy of the episode :)
Who’s the Korean dude in the Seahawk’s uniform that I saw on Sportscenter this morning?
People at the supermarket who pack ALL of their items before bothering to pay with five people waiting in line need get their gonads chopped by a bear trap then have a very pregnant woman nag them to death for bitching about the loaf of bread being five cents too much after taking their sweet time to get up to the register and scan all 50 million items for cost. Love people watching, hate shopping, at least Little Drizz gets a free cookie (chocolate chip if your enquiring mind needs to know).
Kristanna Loken is rather attractive.
I finally beat my wife at backgammon; plastic chips can hurt when thrown.
Did I mention Krispy Kremes? Sooooooooooooo goooooooooooooood.
It’s a new month, here’s to hoping the cards are more kind in February. Peace.
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