Monday, February 06, 2006

More Rigged: Online Poker or Super Bowl XL?

If Phil Hellmuth was a Seahawks fan he would probably pacing the Seattle Seahawks sideline late Sunday night wondering how the hell his team lost despite holding the best starting hand. If it wasn’t for luck, Hasslebeck would be MVP, and my sportsbook account would be a little healthier.

The refs decided during the coin-flip (which I lost a bet on because Tom Brady has a thumb muscle with the strength of a broken toothpick) “hey the Steelers have been shit on by us all playoffs, how about a little help!”. One Hail Mary pass, one lightning fast run, one trick play, and one VERY questionable touchdown ruling all add up to a happy Mean Gene and a month worth of The Bus career highlight reels on ESPN while they show the new SI subscription package that includes a commemorative game ball from Super Bowl XL and a referee’s yellow flag to be thrown anytime a Seattle player makes the decision to choose Coke over Pepsi. Steelers are a great team, but they were not the better team on the field last night. Untimely penalties on touchdown passes (Fingertip pushoffs? Holding on someone who was defending the QB near the Uzbekistan border?) led to a frustrated Seahawks offense and a defense that played well enough to win.

Am I being a little biased due to losing a bet? Maybe. On the flip side I was the benefactor of the Big Ben TD call, and at a 25-1 shot, it more then covered my overall game bet. Hosed, duped, shanghaied, gipped, sucked out, rivered… how ever you put it, Seahawks deserved to win but are going back to Washington with a heavy heart, and one heavy wallet that is looking to get filled.

Ok enough of the Terrible Towel trashing, the commercials were a bit lack luster but DID have its highlights:

The Monkey/Jackass commercial from Well done.

Ameriquest Mortgage hospital scene: Almost lost my beer through my nose.

Mastercard with MacGyver (who is the greatest TV action star besides Ranger Walker by the way): Could have been better, but Richard Dean Anderson is still the man.

Aleve with Spock: No.

Diet Pepsi with Jackie Chan: Thought it was going be horribly bad, but ended up shockingly original and stomped Coke’s commercials (parts of the Full Throttle commercial were ok but a bit overdone)

Emerald Nuts: 99.9% of the population doesn’t know what a Druid is, let alone find it funny that they are welding machetes. Please let this commercial die a horrible death from the hands of a +5 Staff of Instant Pink Slip

FedEx Caveman: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, this one had several stop and go laughs

The Adam Sandler new movie: Looked funny, needed more 38DD slow mo action of course because who doesn’t love boobs?’s 2.5 million dollar investment needed about 5 more seconds and more old guy point-of-view shots…

Hidden Bud Lights: Budweiser rarely misses and doesn’t here. The bear commercial and fan “wave” was also passable for some good laughs.

Burger King: More King super-imposed NFL highlights, less confusing chicks dressed up as condiments. Everyone loves women pilled on top of each other but this just didn’t work.


Beside football I did manage to give away some money to other offshore accounts playing poker.

My experiment with Turbo SnGs on Stars died a horrible death as I realized (and got reminded by a fellow Ray Zee-aholic) that my strength lies with pushing huge edges in cash games versus coin flips in a tournament setting. Don’t get me wrong, these turbo tourneys are extremely soft and easily beatable up to the $27 and $35 levels, but they require some psychological fortitude to take a string of beats that I do not possess at this time. When you are forced to push huge draws for all of your chips and don’t “get there” or have a hand that falls short of the mark to a “trash” hand it chips away at your psyche and you can go into Hellmuth rant mode that “I should win all the time if it wasn’t for luck”.

If you ever look at a board or screen after a beat and say start ranting about how you “should have won”, its time to get up, pour yourself a tall glass of shut-the-hell-up, and replay the action of the hand to make sure YOU didn’t make any mistakes.

Did your opponent tell you that you were outdrawn yet you called anyway? An ante saved is an ante earned to paraphrase of couple people smarter then I.

Thanks for dropping by, now if you had a favorite commercial other then the ones I listed or disagree with my criticism of the Super Bowl drop me a line and I’ll be happy to ignore you! Just kidding, but I’m thinking non-Steeler fans will side with my observations… of the game at least.

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