Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Analyze This

My mind is a weird place.

I’m content, yet I still have dreams I’d like to achieve.

I have achieved, yet feel I have failed.

I’m happy, yet want things out of my reach.

Should I break out into song yet? I don’t think you’d want that, my singing is comparable to the sound of a dog after fighting a porcupine.

Wants and needs, needs and wants, feeling underprivileged yet having everything you need to live a good life. A strong, healthy family, solidified by the strong healthy lungs of my daughter who has been waking up my wife at 2am, thus making conversations with my better half short and to the point lately. I guess you learn as time goes on when to let arguments go, and when to stand your ground.

I cannot ask for more, nor expect less. I wanted a family and I’ll have that for an unforeseeable time in the future. I’ll enjoy the diaper changing, the punishments after Wyatt gets a little too rough with his toys, and time spent with the wife on a softball diamond or on the couch taking in a Twins game with Bert Blylevin (circle me Bert!!) and Dick Bremer. Sure there are things that come up causing snap reactions and words that are quelled later on when the temperature in the room returns to normal. But people get hung up on those moments, failing to let go of the time their spouse or kid does something “wrong” causing some little strife that really didn’t matter in the big picture.

I’m still overcoming my overly-analytical mind. Whether it’s debating a 3-bet or what my wife’s tone of voice means, I have always tried too hard to categorize EVERY message being conveyed. It is the sole reason why my relationships have failed in the past and a good reason why I struggle with daily nuisances despite the cheery, cheeky, happy, happy, joy, joy outlook on life that I have.

The only reason I haven’t imploded from the weight of all these thoughts can be found through scribbling here. It’s a place I can unload my mind, dark or humorous, dirty or clean, stupid or semi-intelligent. The dry erase board of the internet helps purge any clogged thoughts I have rambling in my head and allows me to “move on with the day”. I hated English classes in junior high, senior high, and college. I avoided those classes because learning proper sentence structure and breaking down Shakespearian verses wasn’t exactly a high priority for someone who’d rather take two hours to solve an inane calculus problem.

How I did get here?

Why am I still here?

Who the hell came up with the wonderful combination of putting breading on pork chops?

See, I can’t get away from asking questions. I could probably go on for hours, and eventually get to trying to break down the Keaton’s family problems on Family Ties. Yo Mallory!

A fine mess of letters and words that opened a door to a group of friends that I wouldn’t have met otherwise. I wouldn’t trade you guys for Alfonso Soriano or even a final table at the WSOP. You’re worth more then that. Because through your postings I’ve learned that life isn’t really that bad, and people go through similar daily struggles that I do, even if it means to digest a couple of keno crayons in the process.

Thanks for dropping by, now mo’ pimpin and hopefully I get it right this time (sorry Dan and the Pokerblog crew, I plead stupidity on my part!!!!).

Pokerworks with the grand dame of dealin’ Linda Geenen, Michael Craig, CC from Quest of a Closet Poker Player, and tilted kilt wearing, Excal wheel prop bet winning Falstaff make up yet another excellent blogging team covering the WSOP. If you can’t be there like a certain G-Vegas crew going this week, make sure you’re keeping up through Ted Steven’s tubes like I am.

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