Thursday, July 24, 2008

Running for Air

Wow, could Matt Millen suck any more? Losing draft picks to ineptitude, buttah fingers, and now Iraq? Until the second coming of Eric Hipple, the Nardi brothers will have to settle for the nifty stadium, mack daddy mayor, and overrated wide receiver draft picks.

The Torchlight Run was awesome. The eye-gasm from hot female runners and spoting several faux celebrities made up for the pit bull-chewing-on-my-knee-pain that forced me to drink the samples of Mich Ultra Amber they passed out once those Under Armour workout outfit turned into a pool of sweat.

Among the crowd:

- Large Dog standing on guy's head with props while he clapped.

- Richie Cunningham if he worked out with Barry Bonds' trainer

- Rollergirl from Boogie Nights wearing "New York" across her tight shorts. After viewing the ripples of her thighs I no longer felt the need to split the lower burroughs and went back to gasping for air

- Female George Clinton whom the wife acutely pointed out her jean shorts were getting lost up her spacious ass but the rainbow hair coloring and feather had some appeal

- Che Guvera oddly wearing a Radisson front desk uniform and large Ray-Bans. Attempted to topple the Aquafina booth following the race and failed when the workers fought back with ice cubes and Norwegian swear words

The race from 14th down to St. Anthony's Main rocked for the views of downtown Minneapolis and crossing the Mississippi, but the cluster-fuck of the free snacks, pizza (which was fairly good), and near-beer in a small side park with 5,000+ sweaty runners waiting in a line better viewed as an L.A. traffic jam, needs improvement.

I'm posting the Montgomery Flea Market rap for the simple fact I can't get it out of my head this morning. Riverchasers tonight if the kiddies cooperate. See you there. Its just like, its just like, A MINI MALL!

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