Premature Cardulation

Much like every chance I have to consumate my marriage, I came too early playing the Skillz game last night.

First hand, nut flush.

Little bit later, Aces, got paid off.

Set over Set, capped pre, flop, turn, and river. Double up.

Still not enough as my small pairs late in the second hour went down in flames each time. No traction after the set over set hand and I busted somewhere between taking some generic cold pills and a shot of OJ to attempt to ease into bed.

Failed on that part as well, as my Arabian Nights dream kept getting more and more interesting with every passing harem lady marking the side boundaries of a broken stone path leading into some celestial mist. I couldn't seem to reach the mist but also couldn't gawk too hard at the sheer fabrics across the Persian hotties bodies because the stones would fall into an abyss if I stayed too long on one.

Which was a stark contrast to the view while attempting to sweat out this cold/flu in the sauna last night.

A note to old dudes who enjoy prancing around naked in the locker room: Its a towel, used to dry oneself off after showering or covering unslightly areas like your micropenis you seem to have a little too much showing off while surrounded by people of the same gender. NO ONE WANTS TO LOOK AT YOUR OLIVE-SIZED DICK THAT'S COVERED BY YOUR FOURTH BELLY CHIN. Cover the fuck up please. Thankfully by removing my glasses I was not subject to wee-wang in the sweat room and could sit in peace with my Benadryl-infused dreams.