Starting today or maybe yesterday you'll find my posts (except the dark, semi-creepy, non-Confucius filled scribbings) both here and at MNPokerMag.com, with two kids and a continuation of last spring's fitness resolution there hasn't been time to squeeze out enough strictly poker-related material between two blogs. Throw into the mix that Playstation 3 that I bought on Amazon while comfortably in my lucky green and red jammies with dice on them on Black Friday for the same price as those who lined up at midnight at various stores (SUCKERS!), and my little poker free time is being torn into another half.

Dragon Age: Origins has been the name of the timesuck. It takes me back to the days before I dished out money on the virtual poker tables and spent my days doleing out critical hits on lvl 50 Enchanters and hunting down the latest uber gear in Dark Age of Camelot. Except this time it's with a clearer mind of not getting addicted to the seemingly endless storyline. For some it's killing pixels via Modern Warfare or Borderlands, for me I enjoy the specializations and nerdery of RPG games with valliant quests to find Rexel's mother who was lost in the woods during the Blight's latest's push to overcome mankind.

NERDS!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I know this. Some people do quilting in the dark, I play online RPG games and can still hit a softball further than you so there. I win at life and get the +6 DragonScale Cool Shades.

Poker will come back into focus by the weekend as the WBCOOP is starting up at the end of the month and this humble blogger would love to be on both sides of the SCOOP ticket this time. I'll also run a live-blog here most likely for the 8-game or PLO tourney if I'm at home and grab a piece of couch that isn't overrun by two kids hopped up on those M and M stuffed plastic candy canes.

See you then.

Packers Have Nine Zero Lives Left

(sorry for the title screw-up)

I tried to turn off the Packers/Cardinals game yesterday.

Down 17 and the Buzzsaw slicing downfield against one of the top defenses in the league for a fourth straight score as Fitzgerald Jr. racing beyond the red zone only to be met with a perfectly placed fist of Charles Woodson who started this track meet with a fumble. Rodgers struts out a promptly goes downfield for the first of many scores.

In what should have been a blowout, the Packers showed everyone just how underrated this team was (giving the Packers praise is making me nauseous) and doing without two big starters on defense and an offensive line where they had to pull some construction guys away from their 30 pack of Natty Light and ice fishing houses to play left guard. Kudos to the Pack for making this a game when rolling over and dying would have been the play for most of the other NFL teams. A 4th and 5 late in the game turned into a late touchdown, a missed 34 yard field goal by a kicker who'd missed just one kick all year with a few seconds left, AND winning the coin toss in a second half where both defenses decided to take in that figure skating special showing on NBC (I believe, sadly triple lutzes by women in leotards and sequins doesn't do much for me).

In the end it was a hesitation by Rodgers and a ball bouncing into Karlos Dansby's lap with no one but some uplifted turf to stop him from winning the game 51-45. Who wouldn't have wanted to see Favre Bowl III?

The Dallas Cowboys that's who.

To segue into this machine that face the Purple this weekend, that turned in another big performance by dismantling the Eagles on Saturday 34-14 and cementing the other team name on the NFC divisonal round playoff games at the Mall of America field (yes, corny name for a stadium that HOPEFULLY on its way out). While both teams carry solid defenses on their backs, I'm predicting a high scoring game although nothing like the one yesterday at the Pink Taco. Both defenses are going to get spread out by the pass leaving the running games to determine which team will control the clock and mostly likely the scoreboard. I wouldn't be a true homer if I didn't think Purple Jesus would hold a slight advantage but we'll see if the kid can return to early season form and not this 9 for 50 yards and a Tom Rathman-esqe goal line touchdown.

The nerves of Romo vs. the not-getting-any-younger arm of Brett Favre. Favre wants the ultimate fuck you to Ted Thompson, while Romo would love to have the fumbled field goal kick replays to stop, who is going to get their redemption?



Had to play it once...

Excuse me while I flog myself after singing praises to the Packers (seriously great game sirs, very entertaining win or lose).

2010 WBCOOP at PokerStars

Hoping I can play the PLO and 8-game at least.

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! Bloggers can register for to play for free in the WBCOOP, if you don’t have a PokerStars account you can get your Poker Download here.

Registration code: 074933

People of Wal-Mart Want You to be STD-free

We interrupt flashback 2009 for this:



Found on the site People of WalMart which is like having awesome people watching brought to your internets versus having to brave the mongoloid supercenter of trailer trash. Spot on ad because the first thing people think about WalMart are confused people with STDs or Mullets as shown below:



Tonight I'll be rockin a similarly awesome shirt than this lady while in the comforts of my own home playing poker as the three-day weekend takes start while the PCA rages on at considerably higher temperatures than Minnesota.

PokerStars Starts Off the North American Poker Tour

A pause for the flashbacks to bring some pretty cool news as PokerStars finally comes state-bound to the Venetian next month.

POKERSTARS.NET SPONSORS EXCITING NEW NORTH AMERICAN POKER TOUR

PokerStars.net is delighted to announce the launch of the long awaited
PokerStars.net North American Poker Tour (NAPT).

The NAPT is the first major poker tour in North America created by poker
players for poker players with accessible buy-ins, expectations for
massive prize pools and thousands of players from around the world all
competing for millions of dollars. The NAPT will start at the
PokerStars.net Caribbean Adventure (PCA) in the Bahamas on January 5,
2010.

Two further stops are already planned for the NAPT’s inaugural season,
with more events to be announced soon. The NAPT Venetian event in Las
Vegas, Nevada, from February 20-24 will be the Main Event of The
Venetian’s Deep Stack Extravaganza I; and the NAPT Mohegan Sun Main Event
in Uncasville, Connecticut, from April 7-11 will be the star feature of a
spectacular new poker festival there this Spring.

Both Main Event buy-ins will be $5,000 and like the PCA will feature an
exciting variety of side events with a broad range of buy-ins to suit all
players.

Joanna Krupa, famed from appearing on “Dancing with the Stars”
and “PokerStars.net Million Dollar Challenge” will be its TV host. It will
feature the very best players from North America and from around the
world, including team members Joe Cada, Greg Raymer, Vanessa Rousso and
Daniel Negreanu who is among those who have been eagerly awaiting the
launch of the NAPT.

“I'm really looking forward to the launch of the NAPT. PokerStars.net has
done an excellent job sponsoring meaningful tournaments around the world
with the EPT, LAPT, APPT, and various other local tours – and it’s
exciting to see them coming to my home town of Las Vegas! With the
addition of the NAPT, I'll have a chance to play some tournaments on home
soil, and I'm very excited about that,” said Negreanu

The Venetian Las Vegas and Mohegan Sun will provide perfect backdrops for
each of the Main Events, fitting destinations for what is expected to be a
popular tour. The Venetian is the largest property in the country to
receive AAA’s Five Diamond and Mobil Four-Star Awards and is home to The
Grand Canal Shoppes, Canyon Ranch SpaClub, world-class gaming, exquisite
restaurants and a wide variety of entertainment. Mohegan Sun, owned by the
Mohegan Tribe, is one of the largest, most distinctive and spectacular
entertainment, and gaming, shopping and meeting destinations in the United
States.

PokerStars.net will provide the easiest possible way to qualify for the
tournaments with free packages up for grabs on PokerStars.net. Daily NAPT
Venetian freerolls are scheduled on PokerStars.net and can be found in the
PokerStars.net lobby under Events/Special. Here players can win the $5,000
seat, plus accommodation, for absolutely nothing.


About The Venetian Las Vegas (NAPT Venetian February 20-24, 2010):
The Venetian Resort-Hotel-Casino, the largest property in the country to
receive AAA’s Five Diamond Award and Mobil Four-Star, is one of the
world’s most luxurious resort and convention destinations. Re-creating
Venice’s legendary landmarks, the resort offers unmatched service and
quality for leisure and corporate guests. Located in the heart of the Las
Vegas Strip, The Venetian features The Grand Canal Shoppes, an indoor
streetscape complete with gondolas and singing gondoliers, the Canyon
Ranch SpaClub, world-class gaming, exquisite restaurants, and a wide
variety of entertainment such as Phantom-The Las Vegas Spectacular, Blue
Man Group, David Spade and Wayne Brady on its premises, as well as
extensive convention and corporate services. For additional information,
visit www.venetian.com and follow on twitter @venetianvegas.


About Mohegan Sun (NAPT Mohegan Sun, April 7-11, 2010):
Mohegan Sun, owned by the Mohegan Tribe, is one of the largest, most
distinctive and spectacular entertainment, gaming, shopping and meeting
destinations in the United States. Situated on 240 acres along the Thames
River in scenic southeastern Connecticut, Mohegan Sun is within easy
access of New York, Boston, Hartford and Providence and located 15 minutes
from the museums, antique shops and waterfront of Mystic Country. More
information is available by calling 1.888.226.7711 or visiting
mohegansun.com.


About www.pokerstars.net:
PokerStars.net is the world’s largest poker site with more than 31 million
members around the world. It’s the first choice of the world’s top players
with more daily tournaments than anywhere else with the best security
online. More hands have been dealt on PokerStars.net than any other site.

PokerStars.net operates worldwide under the license from the Isle of Man
Government, UK.

PokerStars.net regularly sets the bar high, staging some of the biggest
online and live poker tournaments in the world:

The European Poker Tour attracts many of the best players
worldwide and currently generates the biggest prize pool of any poker tour
The PokerStars.net Caribbean Adventure (PCA) staged on the shores
of Paradise Island in the Bahamas is the largest and richest tournament in
the world outside the United States.
The Latin American Poker Tour unites many of the best players in
Latin and South America
The Asia Pacific Poker Tour does the same across Asia and the
Pacific

PokerStars.net is also home to an elite team of sponsored players– a group
of established and up and coming players that travel the world competing
in international tournaments. For a full list visit
http://www.pokerstars.net/team-pokerstars/.

A Walk Through 2009: April thru June

April:

- SCOOP became a big thing around my household. Not as a player (might change this year, as I’m looking to take a shot sometime this year) but as a humble scribe. I would have thought by now reporting on online poker tournaments the lack of human interaction would turn this job into a tedious one.

Exact opposite.

There’s a strange rush I get from watching unknown pros, hoodie/sunglasses WPT-wannabes, and the basement dwelling 30-tabling Supernovas battle it out for more cash than I’ll see in a decade. There’s no resentment of making the “here’s your new SCOOP Champion yaKKaZuMA69 who won $350,000.00 after defeating RubYoMama heads-up for the 6-max Super-Turbo One Card Exposed Hold Em’ Championship!”. It sounds ridiculous but I enjoy my Sunday nights and those big tournament gigs that test sanity with 6-8 hours of work till the wee hours of the next day, then trying to cram a 10-hour day of spreadsheets and invoices all while remembering that Kyra only likes the purple bendy straws in her chocolate milk.

- Had a shot at the elusive Mookie title but vacated the wait

- Got ready for another season of softball after “retiring” for the most part. One of the better decisions as the nights in the parking lot after the games were a mid-week stress relief.

- Minnesota tried to ban online gambling which would have effectively killed my future blogger endeavors since my funds for such trips comes from working on the PokerStarsBlog and the very rare tournament scores.

May:
- The first Brett Favre reports come out. Of course I’m in dreamland now with two games before a possible Super Bowl, but as a lifetime Vikings fan Brett Favre represented the epitome of football hated as the best player on the rival’s team (and even if they go one-and-out I'd thank him for the excitement this year). But, this fan of the Purple couldn’t comprehend the media coverage that follows this guy. Holy shit even Randy Moss, Joe Mauer, Kevin Garnett, and Visanthe Shiacoe’s dong combined couldn’t get more face time on ESPN than this guy.

- There was also quick hit about what your Minnesota sports jersey says about you

June:

- WSOP begins, friends start their long journey thru the Amazon Room’s bad food, strippers looking for tricks on the rail, and 17 hour days for the next 40-ish days.

Personally, I will try to make it out there again this year because I did seemed to do quite well chopping up the O8 event down at the Binion's Poker Classic despite being not in-the-bag, but thru-the-bag-and-searching-for-discarded-hooker-handouts after a 15 hour playing/drink-athon. Seeing Otis, Gene, F-Train, and Al railing me and CK while taking in that couple straight from an HBO special on “What Happens When Psych Patients Don’t Take Their Meds”.

Sadly the guy could have ran over the final table with the chip lead he had but instead watched that mighty fortress of clay reduced to pleading to be included in the 5-way chop. Basically his ego and harpy wife cost him the $5K difference between the chop money and stated first prize.

Next up July, August, and September also known as the only months you won't see three inches of ice on Minnesotan roads.

A Walk Through 2009: January thru March

I wasn't going to do this, but 2009 was a good year in the frozen white north. Maybe not for most, but this year saw my marriage repaired, and possibly my soul. It's not with light words that my push toward bettering myself knocked the final domino onto my wife who in turn wanted more as well. The recession sucks indeed, but this blogger made a couple decisions for the betterment of self and those lives who I touch each day and sometimes those who I get to see only on a yearly basis. Also, to remember as scrolling thru the posts I had a few font-filled moments that were forgotten and other moments I'll always keep tighter than my daughter's wrap around her favorite rainbow Care Bear.

January:

Started out with a trip to my 2nd favorite place on earth. Ely, MN. No, not the bone breaking cold temps but the pureness of the night’s skies and proximity to degenerate activities. I also won a small live Omaha tournament while visiting Fortune Bay’s Casino, sadly monumental victory over 20 players was not covered by PokerNews, PokerStarsBlog, or Dr. Pauly chatting with the Ice Fishermen at the Kwazy Wabbit about their 5:37am walleye rush before the first thermos of Baileys and Coffee was finished. Maybe next time.


---

- Wrote out another list as a milestone birthday approached and the Buzzsaw known as the Arizona Cardinals made their improbable run to being one play from Super Bowl champs (be the Vikes this year please, please, please) and sweated a river card of employment

- Also took the first steps towards a life-changing decision. No, I got the snip sometime ago and still remain blissfully blank in the sperm department, although my wife questions if they snipped out my remaining brain cells sometimes. That first trip to the ear specialist took a lot of introspection and now with retrospect I can’t see why it ever took me so long.

February:

- Received a couple of big somethings in the mail and email from friends that gave me the last push towards auditory freedom. Their generosity blindsided me as I spent a few nights wondering what I did to deserve such friends. I still ponder on this from time to time.

But, the wait kinda sucked.

March:

- More waiting for the hearing aids.

- And bad predictions of wanting horrible quarterbacks for my favorite team (good thing we held out for that other guy).
Then came the first sounds after inserting the puck-shaped batteries into my bionic ears. And more would pour in afterwards

I also penned a short story for Truckin which was very therapeutic to release as the pang of survivor guilt doesn’t ring as much after getting the story out. My many thanks again to those who helped. There's another Truckin story that I'd like to get out soon, and according to the Dr's orders I'll need a good drink and comfty couch with zero distractions except maybe some Steel Panther raging thru my new ears.

April thru June coming up tomorrow.

Restored for 2010

I should have done a year end wrap-up post, but didn't.

I should have had some words about laying out like an amateur on New Year Eve, but didn't.

I should, I should, I should but didn't.

Instead I spent the weekend with my family and getting plenty of rest in lieu of getting back to braving the sub-arctic weather that now rolls thru the plains of Minneapolis' suburbs (note to bloggers coming up here in August: the weather will be a tad different, maybe less spit-freezing-before-it-hits-the-ground type of cold). The result was getting rid of the nasty H1N1-Vegas strain of gunk that has held onto my lungs for the past three weeks, and seeing two kids with a little brighter smiles.

The weekend wasn't completely carefree and degenerate-like as there was the Sunday Warm-up final table wrap which Justin "looshle" Pechie a WSOP circuit event runner-up ran over the table for the most part but succumbed while heads up to take down $129K.

No, instead there was a lot of disconnect from the internet as nights I could have filled with my sudden re-interest in giving away money at the PL/NLO8 tables (as in 7 to 10 tabling like in years past), or sitting down with my thoughts and Cap'n Coke to chronicial a few tidbits for the friends that drop by here even after the Google bomb took most of the readers away, there was afternoon naps and no angry buzzing white noise in my head. Just peace.

This week will change that as I have three different projects/posts that I'm wanting to move from the in-box to the out-box as well as getting rid of the clutter thanks to hurricane Kyra as Christmas gifts have been spread to the nether regions of my home.

And home is where you'll find the Vikings after the Philadephia Eagles decided to watch game tape of the Vikings first half against the Bears. They looked as flat and out-of-sync as trying to belly up to the bar after partying with Al Cant Hang the previous night. Dallas on the other hand look competent with an array of crossing patterns aimed for #3 receiver Patrick Crayton, sidelines to Miles Austin, with Jones and Barber hitting the holes opened up the middle for a decent 24-0 win. While Dallas did win the game, the Eagles did many things to assure a loss and the now #6 seed instead of getting a week off AND most likely playing the Vikings where they have shown to display their worse football (away and outdoors), they'll have to return to Double J's StarWorld to prevent a second drubbing.

Two more wild card games are going off this coming weekend where they play the same teams in the first round, Cards vs. Pack (at the Pink Taco where the Pack looked scary good against a horrible Matt Leinart who must not have been fed his daily requirement of ASU virgins before the game) and WHODEY! vs. Jets-Jets-Jets where it appeared that Rex Ryan may have eaten those ASU virgins before putting a smackdown on one of the surprise teams this season.

As for the inconsistantly-consistant Vikings they spread their offense yesterday pummeled a depleted Giants team that started 5-0 only to be eliminated from playoff contention in week 16. 44-7 was the final score but factor in the T-Jack show for most of the second half and the Vikes improved their BCS bowl standings by rolling up an extra touchdown on 4th and goal while ahead 34-0. Not sure if Chilly had some motive for needling the 2008 champs but when you run the fake middle run and toss to the fullback or tight end six or seven times each time with success AND see Purple Jesus not getting huffy about the lack of touches while still running effectively (9 carries and 1 catch with ZERO FUMBLES), there's a chance this team will have some good things going for them in the upcoming weeks.

The playoff scenerio also assured the Vikes will play all of their playoff game(s) in domes which added to the 8-0 home record where they scored no less than 27 points a game. The bleak Super Bowl outlook just hit a huge river card please don't blow it, this fan would love to see his team follow through on something just once but the ghost of Gary Anderson is lingering with every TV stats-a-holic bringing up Longwell's accuracy rating from inside the 45.

How many PokerStars one-time chips can I use? Three would be perfect thankyouverymuch.

Dr. Jekyll and Missing Hyde

The glass is still half-full after last night.

In the two bad losses of the year (Cards and Panthers) the Vikes showed their ineptitude for the entire game. Last night they did that a for half, then came out and fought tooth and nail for the second half. On the road. Outdoors. In the cold.

They should have lost on the second Bears score in the 2nd half, but rallied down the field for a score with 8 seconds left. #reasonforoptimism if I were to hash it on Twitter. The team could have rolled over and died along with its purid first half "effort" that looked like a dress rehearsal for the football version of the Bad News Bears. Think Chilly wouldn't make a decent Buttermaker with a Coleman cooler of Schlitz in his hand giving the team pointers on proper beard grooming techniques?

Even down 16-0 in the first half, I girly-chatted with one of the many suddenly very interested Eagles fans and thought the Vikes would still win the game, but not cover the spread. They didn't of course, but again, at least they gave an effort in the second half unseen in the bad losses to Arizona and Carolina. Something to grow on? Yes. Another reason to line Purple Jesus' gloves with rubber cement? Please do. The kid with the iron tight handshake and ability to fumble like there's a contract stipulation for it baffles even the biggest homer of a Vikings fan. How can someone who can crush every bone in your hand with minimal effort hold on to a football?

From what I've seen, most of these fumbles occur when PJ tries to eek out 1 or 2 more useless yards by staying inbounds and gets stripped while being stood-up or poked out on the way down. Whatever it is, it isn't going to stop. No amount of coaching is going to stop the kid from his I-will-run-thru-a-brick-wall-for-an-extra-inch running mentality.

The defense should also bolster a big part of the blame as their pass rush has reverted to 2006's version without the stiffling run D. Jared Allen has been a non-factor thanks to double teams (awesome quote from the mulleted one: “If I could cuss right now, I would. … I mean, we’re playing bad right now. We’ve got to play better”. Pat Williams is hurt. And the secondary is getting burnt more often than the 1997 version of me trying my hand at "clubbing" and "dancing with the ladies". Awkward, tall white guys shouldn't be on the dance floor attempting to look good while Salt N' Peppa's "Shoop" is blaring over the 2 for 1s and glitter filled spaces. Thank god there wasn't YouTube back then or the world may need some serious eye bleach.

This isn't to say the Vikes saved themselves from a quick 1st round exit. Far from it. Without a complete effort against the lame-duck Giants AT HOME next week, the Vikes just might be launching a team they beat twice into the divisional round of the playoffs.

No Vikes, No Cry

Saints losing this afternoon put another sting into the dreadful loss at the hands of the Panthers, as the window of potential home field advantage is still not completely closed.

Or should they be called "resurgent" Panthers after pummeling the Giants 41-9 today? Yikes. Rallying behind a third-string QB and super stars Peppers and Smith they put the Giants on the brink of elimination while having to shake their heads at what could have been.

Eagles/Broncos are on with all the Brian Dawkins returns to Philly talks while the second round of the Battle of the Planets tourney plays on that I'm covering today. Wyatt's Bionical's are all constructed, Kyra's room full of Disney princesses has grown to flood water levels as the parents are recovering from the holidays with football and a calming drink this afternoon.

No Vikes today as they're playing tomorrow on Monday Night Football against the Bears. ESPN, Fox Sports, NFL Network, and CBS Pregame show all had FavreChilly watch 2009 on their agendas even though the game wasn't being played today, and frankly the media saturation of the situation resembles a used maxi pad. Time to shed the blood and hope the team starts running on all cylinders because the problem ISNT the quarterback, isn't not the suddenly mortal running back, isn't not the defense (although some flash cards on "how to tackle" wouldn't hurt). Its the offensive line's dreadful play over the past four games that resulted in the correct All-Pro (McKinney) finally getting benched last week.

What Did I Ever Do To Waffles?

Sorry Vikes fans, but the ultimate cooler has selected our team to win against the Bears this week.

Guess we'll enjoy being 11-4 and another week of Favre vs. Childress soap operas.

Sigh.

On a better note the new Truckin is out!

December 2009, Vol. 8, Issue 12

Welcome back to the new semi-Holiday issue of Truckin'.

1. Stiff Santa by Paul McGuire The Beverly Center had one strict rule -- never under any circumstances remove the bunny head in public. That would mortify young children. Josh turned to Ritalin to solve his problems... More

2. Christmas Money for Misty by Johnny Hughes Misty laid her best story on Sam, her road story. She was temporarily broke, like most casino folks, but she was to inherit the historic Morgan Ranch, 473 oil wells, 47,000 acres, and a bunch of cows in the Texas panhandle... More

3. The Hobby by Milton Burton The driver himself was a small-time coke pusher and wannabe heavy metal musician named Ronnie DeLoach who would never make it big, partly because he was void of any real musical talent. But mostly this sad fact could be attributed to his very limited life span... More

4. Dick-Hole, Part II by Bobby Bracelet Most guys will yank it twenty times a week but they won't feel their balls for lumps. I see it all the time... More

5. Absence of Fear by George Tate The turns became hard to handle and Gatlin knew it wouldn't take much to be over a guard rail and down the side on his back, load, tractor, and all. He suddenly cleared his mind and focused on the words, "Turn off the engine, that's it."... More

Looking Up From Coming Down

At bottom of a small hill on Friday there was nothing but clear blue sky with a wisp of clouds hanging for decoration. Laying face-up on the frozen pond after my seventh run with the midnight blue rocket sled on my left and a very happy daughter whose little legs couldn't negotiate the sharp drop off between our land and the reedy pond on my right it seemed right to try to nap.

Until of course the other sled in use did a snowplow stop just short of my head causing a mini-avalanche of frozen white stuff over my already fridge face.

It was perfect.

Not too cold, not too warm, the laughs were genuine, and there were no pulling rank of parent to child, just smiles.

I'll remember that short hour in the backyard as the holidays roll on which is sure to bring more tantrums from lack of sleep, lack of treats, and lack of patience as we truck between various relatives and greetings.

Speaking of lack of patience, WTF Minnesota Vikings?

Three weeks ago the "on paper" Vikes were mirroring the "on field" ones for the first time since those years before Chris Gamble ended Culpepper's career (aside from some horrible bloated attempts to regain form) and Randy Moss was busy showing off his ass to a stunned Lambeau Field crowd. On Sunday night versus the Panthers you were the epitome of people's perceptions of this franchise.

Great names with poor execution and worse results. You were Peter North needing a roadmap to a vagina. You were Louis CK killing the crowd and suddenly trying out a knock-knock joke better suited for your kids' preschool class. You were Scarlette Johansson on a bad hair day (which actually now that I think about it, sounds kinda sexy). But, damn you guys for making me believe.

Lets start with the big "schism" talk first since people who follow sports much better than I (and someone I owe a poker post to in the near future), think this isn't a bunch of blown smoke and its ready to ignite a sizable flame in that media circus tent that surrounds Favre. As you know the Vikes newly signed coach tried to yank a 100% first-ballot Hall of Fame quarterback from the game with THEM LEADING for unknown reasons. Now another starter did get the hook and it was well-deserved as Bryant McKinnie was doubling as a blocking sled made of sugar and spice and everything nice against a resurgent Julius Peppers. But aside from injury concerns or possible injury from Mr. Peppers mistaking Favre's head for a slab of Carolina's best BBQ, why would you even broach the idea of taking the leader of the team out of a tight game?

So Coach Chilly isn't doing this team's cohesiveness any good what else is going on? Purple Jesus having to shake off hits in the backfield is a major downer for an O-line that was supposed to be one of the NFL's best. Can't reel off those highlight film open field breakaways or plowing thru cornerbacks if the 350 lbs. fat-ass nose tackle is sitting on your franchise player two yards behind the line of scrimmage. Pass blocking until a few weeks ago has been solid but even that went to pot on Sunday as Favre went down several times, not helped by the fact PJ only rushed 12 times.

The defense gets a little ribbing here as well for not exploiting what was a cobbled together O-line from Carolina. Our front four has been excellent in getting pressure on the quarterback all year and came up limp, especially in the fourth quarter with tackling better used during a 8th grade flag football P.E. class as Stewart became the first 100 rusher against the Vikes in 36 games thanks to several second and third efforts to take a two yard loss into a seven yard gain.

I wasn't able to watch the whole game, just peering up from the laptop as the Sunday Warm-up folks thought it would be awesome to bust out in clumps versus spacing it out a bit as the steam rose from my typing fingers :) But, I got the gist of this team's effort that is/was a Super Bowl contender, it smelled like defeat before the final gun, and its rotten carcass is now prepping for a trap game in Chicago against an awful Bears team with nothing to lose and everything to gain by taking a flailing playoff team down another peg.

Will the Brett Favre that dazzled us earlier in the season return. Most likely not, a case of the "olds" is creeping in, and unless the O-line gets their collective heads together and starts plowing the road for Purple Jesus and the defense knocks up Sulkathor (wrong Jay Cutler sorry) like they did in the Dome win, Viking fans will have to wear their 2009 NFC North Champs T-shirt from Target with spite as they lose the bye to the Eagles and a probable 1st round bomb from the playoffs.

I still expect victory at Solider Field, but how they get the win is more important.

Smells Like Christmas Spirit

The WSOP schedule is out and I'm already thinking about making a return to the Rio this year for another shot at an Omaha Eight-or-Better tourney.

I'll catch back on this subject later in the year, and closer to tourney time. If there's an interest for a partial staking again, I may make the trip.

No post tonight just ready for the holiday season to come to its peak over the next week with screaming kids from the shuffle from house to house, lack of sleep from the mounds of chocolate dipped pretzels and Hershey Kiss centered sugar cookies. Its also a great time to catch up with the relatives whose company I enjoy yet only find a rare golf outing or birthday to say hi.

Be sure to check out the PokerStarsBlog this weekend for the Sunday Majors recaps, I'll be on the bag for the Sunday Warm-up this week, and the two promotional tourneys next week (Battle of the Planets SnG Challenge and $1 Million Turbo Takedown with PokerStars Pro bounties).

WPBT: The Obvious

From the desk of Ric Romero (of Fark fame) and Captain Obvious:

Sexually active girls run greater risk of catching STDs. As opposed to, you know, those who don't have sex of course. But where's the fun in that?

Also painfully obvious is the integration of bloggers from this weekend's WPBT festivities has been less than optimal since they did not install Let It Ride and Pai Gow tables into our respective cafeterias and break rooms while dancing in Vegas. No dealertainers welcomed the masses back to cubicial enclosed employement, no bundled up people of Mexician decent laced the walkway to your building handing out business cards with shapely women who couldn't even find enough clothing to wear this winter and for $79 and a call to 1-800-Sex-4-You these ladies would gladly accept any form of donation.

The bankroll is back in the bank minus the amount I paid to Expedia yesterday for a 10th anniversary gift to my wife (coming in August to a bar near you). A trip to Vegas with me and another couple at the end of March. So much for staying away until we can watch Betty and Al show the denizens of Imperial Palace how to Two-Step (watch below), and the proper way to celebrate a gathering of friends.

Here's Pauly's 2009 WPBT video, plus a link to some of the pictorial highlights of the latest memories of these grand gatherings:



Until we meet again Geisha Bar, next time more Cowboys and Hookers please.

WPBT: By the Numbers

One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.

- Sigmund Freud

The years of struggle may not yet be behind, the years of true pain may not have come out yet, but the present years are ones I'll choose to cherish.

Even today, a quick smile pops out randomly from a quick conversation at the WPBT, a quip, a bet, a toast, they all gather up into one awesome time with friends that I yearn for the very next time we meet.

By the numbers:

Number of days spent in Vegas: 5
Number of dollars won gambling: 1,100 (despite losing $450 on slots)
Number of dollars in profit taken home: 700
Number of dollars I'll get to keep after wife finds the money: 0
Number of dollars won prop betting: 40
Number of dollars should have won prop betting: 400 (Otis: BET MORE!)
Number of extra hours spent in room recovering from prop bet: Too many
Number of dollars lost because Waffles bet the Bengals: 50
Number of meals I ate in 4 days: 5
Number of Cap'n Cokes at Lagasse Stadium: 3
Number of lace purple panties viewed: 1
Number of times I jumped around like an idiot: Lost count after Caesar's Palace
Number of scared 7-Star high rollers because of jumping 6'4" 200 lbs. man-child hitting a point: 1
Number of tramp stamps spotted at Steel Panther concert: 14
Number of racks bought at Green Valley Ranch for $2/$4 game: 7
Number of racks cashed in at Green Valley Ranch: 8
Number of dollars for WPBT tourney buy in: 100
Number of minutes I lasted in the tourney: 15
Number of dollars won playing craps with Maigrey, Betty, and Chilly due to busting early: 750
Number of times Betty explained to me I needed water with each drink: 5
Number of laps I ran around slots while playing craps at Excal with GRob, Otis, and G+G: 6
Number of times my ball was used during the WPBT Golf Tourney: 5
Number of strokes the team had: 70
Number of temperature while golfing: 35
Number of dollars spent on a new jacket at the turn of the golfing round: 58
Number of consectutive hands of Chinese Poker won against Oh Captain during flight delay: 5
Number of wheelchair rides taken: 0
Number of quads hit on Let It Ride: 1
Number of dollars won on Let It Ride: 850
Number of inches of TV in the Lagasse Stadium luxury box: 103
Number of score at Galaga after Vikings game: 325,670
Number of friends I miss today: Too many

You bring the fun, and this time I was able to hear more of it brightening the trip a hundred fold. Thank you.

Until we meet again, stay thirsty my friends.

WPBT: Stills of a Weekend

Relaxation.

I guess I possessed a camera inside my head using my eyes as shutters and reproduce those photos on to these pages for the images I've taken in this weekend. Some pictures of course would remain off, only brought out for a good laugh between those who hated their livers and sleep during the WPBT Winter Classic for the past 3-4 days.

But other stills of the action could be used to show just why this group of professional degenerates decents upon Vegas every December to tilt a cowboy and leave with another story of friendship and gambling woes.

I didn't bet enough, yet bet plenty. I possess a $100 t-shirt from Harrah's. I watched Maigrey carry a couple of us to an empty craps table and haul away a lion share of cash while watching "Mr. Important" 7-Star high roller slink off with empty pockets because he was too wrapped up in his self-importance to have fun (not to mention hitting his number for ungodly sums that would have doubled my yearly salary).

There may come wrap-up post, there may not. For now I'll enjoy images in my head of Steel Panther's lead singer grabbing his crouch with the tall well-built blonde directly behind him trying desperately to keep her Fredrick's of Hollywood g-string hidden from the masses despite wearing low cut jeans and skin tight baby-t.

4 more inches of snow and below zero temps await me at the Lindbergh terminal tonight, until then its hot chocolate time while doing a little people watching for a few more photos before getting home to Minnesota.

WPBT: A Short Yet Long Day

Its after midnight here in Sin City as this will be wrapping up my third night of blogger hijinxs while in town for the WPBT Winter Classic. To the front and center Ron Jaworski and Merrill Hoge are explaining the NFL lineup that will be viewed tomorrow at Laggasse stadium in the Venetian (Palazzo). To my right are the silky concrete structures of the Belliago and Caesar's Palace. Viewable are dancing water, drive-by ads for 1-877-sex-4-you, and the Penthouse that Terrance Wantabe prceeded to give Harrah's 6% of their net earning via all the negative expectation games his alcohol-soaked brain could handle.

Caesar's Palace was also where I spent approximently half the day today. No, not from playing the annual WPBT Winter Classic Poker Tournament sponsored in part by PokerStars. That part took about 10 minutes for me to walk into the poker room, pay my $100 entry fee, and promptly ignore Derek's signs that hey YOUR TWO PAIR ISN'T ANY GOOD. I may have claimed such a hand was a cooler, and busting out 2nd from the tourney wasn't what I had in mind when I explained that I did not want to last long today. There was time to say hi to the table, clap for the annoncements and muck Ace-King while slinking over to CJ to inform him that my loser ass was done.

Could not sit afterwards. Instant grafication from slots further showed just how big of a drain those are on my gambling bankroll. No bonus game could dig me out of the hole, no fun was emitted from the cold machines as I was on the verge of packing it in for the day to further detox from a non-stop beginning (this part of the trip will be told at a later time). Back to the Palace part of the casino to attempt some Pai Gow-infused adrenaline. Push, lose, win, win, lose, push. End up winning $14 after a few hours of getting dangerously close to busting my buy-in for the day ($500). Instead those chips were better used back at the poker room.

Sitting down at a $1/$3 NLHE table with $300, I made small talk with a older figure that was soon-to-be divorced gentleman and couldn't understand why Omaha was such an action game. Not much materialized since NLHE live cash games in a casino are completely foreign to those who call Minnesota home. Until things went very right in a hurry, calling a small raise in the big blind with KdTd and four players in the hand we would see a bet to $30, a raise by the cutoff, putting the decision on the Qd Jd 8c flop. For those of you at home who know a bit about poker that is called an Open-Ending Straight and Royal flush draw. I couldn't call because he "only" at $120ish behind.

"All-in"

$30 better went back to rockin his fedora and the other guy pondered on what to do. He would make the call with a set of queens? Sure there's a straight posible but not prombable.

"All-in"

turn Ts, river Ad.

Suckout complete chips acquired), begin the ride to winning. Went back to the Palace casino station to sweat the St.Louis/G-Vegas/LA Douchebags convergence on a three-card poker table. No spots became open so I thru a hundred on the $10 craps table for shits and giggles and took a $40 profit from five shooters. By the time I turned around the lure of the sleek looking sirens Maigrey and Betty Underground were there to direct me to the unused $10 craps table and play our selves. And we would do so for the next two hours. An ultra-high roller would find himself stuck $12K while trying breach our run by putting those chips in play only AFTER the phenomial roll of the hazelnut-skinned lady hit hard sixes with the ease of getting your pajamas on before bed. He would leave at least $30K-$50K in lost bets on the table, but we would not. Actually amount will not be disclosed but we were able to make Derek's nipples raise from the texture of a $500 chip hitting his ribbed shirt while railing the final table as Astin, AlCantHand, and Speaker battled it out for the upside-down golden hammer.

From there our group would float from Casino Royale's e-coli caked roulette chips and back to the IP for a nightcap. I instead took leave from the group to enjoy a few moments in front this laptop screen and admire my view towards this town that has been the focial point of many extreme highs and lows of my life. Yes, I am and always will be a child wrapped up in adult clothing, I may cheer a little too loudly while a $5 blackjack hand becomes a winner, but my time in Vegas a growing experience with each visit. There's more I learn from the conversations over General Tso's chicken in a food court, leaning against a vacant poker table, or just admiring my newly found sense of seeking conversations with others simply because their voices make complete sentences (except for CK who for some reason I have the hardest time understanding despite her crystal-clear voice).

The journey continues from here as I sign off this evening as NFL Sunday is coming in few hours for yet another awakening from this pair of bionic ears I now possess. My thoughts are for a few friends who are having inner-struggles that could be much similar to my own over the past seven years, and if they need to sit down in that quiet corner or at the bank of Reel Em' Slot Machines, I'll be there with a good set of ears and hoping some words of encourgement for him or her.

Peace.

From

Brief Space of Time

For the next couple of days I'll have an internet connection in my room which means I'll drop by twitter and throw a quick tweet up:

Follow me here: TWEET TWEET for me here.

Short recap:

Drank
Drank
Jumped a bunch
Shed a tear at Geisha Bar
Ran around like an idiot at Excal playing craps with G+G Makeout Factory, G-Rob, Otis, Texan from the panhandle at 4am
Made a bet
Zombie
Steel FUCKIN Panther
Bought in
Won at $2/$4 with bloggers
Won Prop Bet, will rub G-Rob's $20 all over myself with peppermint lotion
Getting ready for WPBT Winter Classic Tourney.

SKOL!!!

Can't Wait One More Day

Winter is officially here in Minnesota:

A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL MIDNIGHT CST TONIGHT.LIGHT SNOW...OCCASIONAL MODERATE AT TIMES...WILL CONTINUE THROUGH MID MORNING ACROSS EASTERN AND PORTIONS OF CENTRAL MINNESOTA...BUTBEGIN TO TAPER OFF BY NOON. CONSIDERABLE BLOWING AND DRIFTING SNOWWILL CONTINUE THROUGH THE AFTERNOON AS WIND SPEEDS OF 25 TO 35 MPH WITH OCCASIONAL GUSTS OF 45 MPH CONTINUE.

In other words. Yuck. Especially for someone who's intending to leave on a jet plane only to come back again on Monday night. 45 mph winds happened in January/February here I doubt going outside for the paper would even be advisible. As is, just a winter storm nasty to pump gas in and shovel, but excellent excuse to warm up some hot chocolate and fire up a few tables of online poker on the day before I meet up with 100+ friends scattered across the US and Canada in Vegas.

This has been said before but I'm glad the degenerates I'm so anxious to meet up with are living in different climates and states because it keeps a check on my personal degeneracy to a weekend once in a while versus being knocked sideways every Friday and Saturday. A little nudge to cubical confinement, a little excitement to the cries over not eating dinner, a personal spa weekend without the $500 acai berry scrub and lava rocks chi-reviver. Instead we'll spread that money over the Geisha Bar at the IP, MGM's poker room and adjacent bar, Gold Coast trying to make the Ice Queen pit boss smile (I've been successful twice in four years) and throwing the horns at Steel Panther.

But, tonight will be the calm before the real storm brewing up in Vegas and holding on for one more day...




See you on the other side of sobriety.

One day folks.

2009 WPBT: A Prelude

Don't worry, the Wilson Phillips video I play every year is going up tomorrow.

Yes tomorrow as in we're just two days from WPBT-gasm all over the Geisha bar and various poker tables spread across the Las Vegas Strip.

My itinerary is a road map, but as many people have gotten to know me on these pages, I'll be sure to find myself somewhere even the legend of the map doesn't have a symbol for. These things are locked down however:

Thursday -

• Wheels up from MSP around 5 ish, meet OhCaptain at the airport taking separate planes around the same time, place first prop bet and drink first drink of the trip.
• Land at LAS, promptly put first wasted money into a Star Wars slot machine. Make lightsaber noises when three Luke Skywaker symbols line up, tell random person to "may the force be with you... always"
• Catch a cab (probably with OhCaptain) to the Strip, remind Abuzzl that I do not wish to take the highway
• Unpack, sadly since I'm here five days will need to bring a suitcase get shafted by the airlines for the baggage fee.
• Head to Geisha Bar, be wary of The Rooster buying birthday shots while partaking in the first late night Pai Gow session of the weekend

Friday

• 9:30am in front of the IP in a collared shirt and khakis ready to destroy fellow bloggers in the four team golf scramble
• Hit golf ball aproximately 140 times, curse 139 of those and cheer the one time it actually leaves the ground
• Pay Speaker for all of the golfing prop bets I lost AND take him over to the Nine Fine Irishmen for a Bucket O' Sausage and pints. This doesn't really feel like a loss.
• Time for -EV gambling
• Mixed games at MGM, get told I cannot purchase $1,000 in $1 chips. Pout. Get $500 and have blogger chip runner bring me more.
• Maigrey knocks over pretty chip tower. Pout more.
• Show table that 789T rainbow in O8 really isn't a "premium" hand despite the pretty four card straight.
• Actually understand 85% of the conversation (up from 10%!) at the bar behind the MGM poker room. Shed a quick tear for all those who helped with the hearing aid purchase and drink more.
• Put on spandex and mullet and head to Steel Panther for headbanging to "Death to all but Metal" and "Asian Hooker" and pray I haven't passed out at this point
• 3am $2/$4 limit poker with fellow concert go'ers? Yessir.

Saturday

• Get wheeled into the Caesar's poker room as the captain of Team Wheelchair (Al and StB).
• Mention every tournament I've won online, and the chop I took at Binion's Poker Classic were done while having a BAC around my age and start drinking again after ability to sit upright comes back
• Bust out in 12th place while holding pocket queens against 53 offsuit. Smile, grab a hot chocolate and watch Team Wheelchair take home the PokerStars infused prize pool.
• Rage solo and try not to end up dead

Sunday

• NFL at Lagasse stadium hope Emeril's buffalo wings dont suck
• Ogle at The Wife donning her newly minted Vikings #4 jersey
• Take a second and third look
• Cheer the Vikes to victory over Iggy's WHO DEY!
• Say good byes to those leaving that night, find out who's sticking around for a run to the Gold Coast for my favorite Ice Queen pit boss while playing $10 Pai Gow and attempts to make her smile or perhaps bowling?

Monday

• Detox by playing $2/$4 limit hold em' with hot chocolate on an IV drip in the Flamingo poker room. Tilt locals by hitting two pair with the hammer after capping preflop
• Flight back to MSP in the afternoon, prepare for stories of how the other Vegas demolished the house while I was gone, do dishes like a good husband, kiss the kids good night, promptly pass out and dream of doing it all again the next year.

Two days folks. Tonight I have hot birthday date with my wife that will consist of eating and drinks at PF Changs at 6:30pm then sleeping by 8:00pm because that's how old people roll.

Blue Balls Inside the Pink Taco

The better team won last night.

In what was bizzaro world in the NFL yesterday, Pats losing to the 'Phins, Steelers defense looking more broken up then the current Berlin Wall giving up late TDs to the Raiders, and the Redskins having the game gift wrapped against the undefeated Saints miss a chip shot field goal and fumble their way to a loss.

Then the Vikes took the field against the Cardinals in the Pink Taco and watched them turn into Super Bowl contenders. Swarming defense, solid front line protected the recently rattled Kurt Warner, and wideouts that made our safeties look foolish to say the least. A huge asset for the past two years suddenly has become a serious liability. The Vikings vaunted running game with Purple Jesus and Chester Taylor combined for 40 yards. Not on one run mind you, for the whole game. Neither one could match the 41 yards in two rushes that Percy Harvin put up in their 18 rushes.

Favre detractors were plentiful last night, quick to jump on the "HERE'S THE OLD BRETT FAVRE HAHAHAHAH ROFLCOPTER!!!!" bandwagon. Incredibly short-sighted if you're in this boat, as I thought he played average just not the 110+ rating 24TD/4INT type quarterbacking god he's been thru 11 games. Point a finger at the savior of team from his drafting three years ago. The run game that has been the key to victories until this year has given way to glutony and famine. No consistant 5,6,7 yards a rush, instead its -2, 1,0, 56, 3. This has a direct effect on Favre going down to sacks three times last night (as the talked-up Minnesota line put up exactly zero sacks). If the team is going to look towards Miami they need to find that crushing running game, that one move that makes her scream your name in bed, that loving feeling before its gone gone gone whoa whoa.



They need to find that running game, Favre did throw a couple of bad picks with one or two more that could have gone for a pick six (I hate that term), but generally did fine for the action I was able to see over the top of my laptop while working at PokerStarsBlog last night (Sunday Warm-up wrap found here). To add insult to the loss, EJ Henderson is gone for the year after this hit turned his left leg into jello (click here), McKinney and Loadholt were hurt turning the solid offensive line into a mis-mash of back-ups and back-ups of back-ups. All around it was similar to getting cockteased all day and night by your spouse only to get told while brushing your teeth that "I'm tired" complete with lights off by the time you spit out the Wintergreen Fresh Scope.

Started out fast, ended with blue balls quickly.

Three. More. Days. (well, tomorrow is my birthday as told by yet other white hair plucked from my chin this morning so that one should fly by quickly).

PSA: Dr. Pauly's Notes on Surviving the WPBT Winter Gathering

A quick hit since its my day/night to relax with an unclear beverage (or eight), sing 80s hair band songs, play some low limit donkey MTTs while fighting off the temptation of hitting up the cash games to make the money back. But an important post for all you WPBT go'ers next week. Most of you are hardened veterans of the cowboy-tilting, Geisha Bar clearing, Dick-Bro sighting weekend of revelry that this weekend always brings.

Dr. Pauly has your back as a Vegas regular (who has a certain book upcoming you've may have heard about... Lost Vegas). Here are the tips on surviving the weekend with your fellow bloggers AND coming home without a missing limb/missing iPhone/missing on the good time you are going to Sin City for.

Here's Pauly's 6.0 version of Invading Las Vegas. Detailed post of the first 23 here.

Make special note of #34, cribbed from friend of all poker bloggers, Wil Wheaton

34. Don't be a dick.

Have fun, but don't be a dick. Nobody likes a dick.

I'll add one:

35. Do have a conversation with me this year. As people who have seen me since I've gotten my hearing aids can tell you, I'm more likely to not just understand what you're saying I'll probably even respond with sarcasm!

One Night in Bangkok Minneapolis

Gray hair.

I has it.

Looking in the mirror before five a.m. and seeing the sign that I'm no longer the awkward college student, but the awkward man-child parent of two husband to one that is currently doing a 45 degree head tilt to get a better look at the unpigmented piece of stubble on his chin.

For the first time I was hoping it was just a zit.

Last night there was a taste of what is to become the 5th annual WPBT Winter Classic (with the Luckbox Challenge and $2,000 added bucks by PokerStars) next weekend. That taste came in the form of a fellow degenerate rolling through town on business, along with a fellow Minnesotan and finding a few hours to watch Tom Izzo's team get blown away by a University of North Carolina squad that looked like they were shooting ping pong balls into Lake Superior for baskets. It wasn't the game or the excellent Tripel served by the flirty dark eyed waitress at Rock Bottom Brewery. It was a brief moment to see a couple of friends that due to life getting in the way makes tying one on and making new friends $20 for three minutes a time unattainable but delightfully blank with a glass of imperial stout feasible.

No deadlines, conference calls, or having to tell your daughter that swiping something from your brother and being asked to return it but instead taking the item and dropping it behind the couch is wrong. Just a chance to chat without a 140 keystroke or internet connection limit. This is life. Mine at least. To some its reaching for that next corporate rung via late nights and cross-country flights. Noting the action of people with too much money as they flip over cards in exotic locales. Or dropping by the cube for 10 hours a spot to enjoy the company and hope that a challenge is thrown your way so that your not spinning your head about not doing enjoy and can enjoy the benefits package which keeps your kids healthy and under a newly shingled roof. We do these things for different reasons, but one should hope that once the veneer of work clothes are stripped away there's something that gets you to go back tomorrow and be free of resentment. Whether its the job itself that drives you, the rewards of financial stablity, or the ear-to-ear grin of a child that just got that Nintendo DSi they've been pawing you for, earned by those extra hours of overtime that drive should never fade completely.

For myself during those dark years of recent past there was nothing but resentment toward my wife, my job, myself. Only thru the patchwork of friends scattered in towns like Albertville, Brooklyn Park, Hutchinson and across the US did I get to the point sitting this chair and saying "I have it pretty fucking good right now". It wasn't my wife's decision to better her life, or mine to hear what I missing out on for so many years, it was my friends and family with their unabashed support. Whether it was a quote from a long dead Greek philosopher, funds and a note to turn me into a new person with the ability to chat about a decent way to cook edamame (ginger and soy sauce will be tried later in the week) in a crowded noisy restaurant, or a simple nod with a raised glass of barley and hops while the Purple destroy another team on the gridiron its the reason I get a little misty around this upcoming trip.

And before you ask, no I won't wax poetic the whole time as that should saved for quiet 4am chats in a dark corner of Sherwood Forest, its better to discuss who has a better rack between Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson or the whole Tiger-gate thing (my opinion, leave him the hell alone) at the Pai Gow table than discuss a mid-life crisis while you're shouting at Xi to finally turnover a 10-high pai gow.

Eight days folks.

Playing the Bully

- I read the short article on the Hadron Collider achieving a new beachmark that only those with scientific backgrounds or teaching would understand. Immediately after reading I visualized Christopher Lloyd hopping around after being told he would need 1.21 gigawatts to send Marty back to the future. Anyone know exactly what the end game is for that thing?

- Thanksgiving rocked as I shaved almost two minutes off my time at the Lifetime Fitness Turkey Trot in downtown Minneapolis from last year. Working out helped, but I had to stop three separate times from being winded, we won't mention the late night of online poker and still carrying a buzz to the starting line. One negative was the mass of people you needed to weave through to run at EVERY point of the race. In year's past after the half mile marker it would expand and you could just pick your line and run versus hitting the hole between the tackles every five seconds.

- Last night/this morning was PokerStars' monthly Turbo Takedown and Battle of the Planets promotions. Seriously, if you want free money playing SnGs or some use out of those FPPs end up these promos (it makes it more fun to have someone to root for, like Alexandre Gomes making it really deep in the Turbo Takedown yesterday). My own poker play sees a possiblity of hitting GoldStar status which relates to playing way too fuckin much lately. But I need the practice especially with the annoucement of Up for Poker's last longer challenge. PokerStars is adding $2,000 to the prize pool for the team challenge which will be won by three drunks representing Team Wheelchair, so just enjoy sipping on those Mike's hard lemonades while the champs steamroll the bloggers to victory.

10 days shopping days for bust out prizes at the tourney folks. After watching the kids for my Black Friday rabid wife this weekend I'll be taking a little time this week purchasing things my wife will just return and a little gift for the person lucky enough to take me out.

- The Vikes game yesterday avoided the trap, exposed the gaping weakness of the immortal Purple Jesus via two fumbles (one lost, one should-have-been-lost), and more Favre to Rice/Harvin/Berrian/Shinacoe magic. Going into the season I assume the aging Favre would play field general and hang back in the tent with the radios and maps in the command center instead of going all King Leonidas on the ass of opposition and chucking spears into the hearts of those who oppose. 36 times in Favre's career he has thrown three interceptions in a game, this YEAR he has thrown three interceptions TOTAL in 11 games.

A personal season-long "F U" to Ted Thompson or just taking advantage of an offense that seems to improve with every game? The defense also continues to excel even without Winfield's contributions as they gave up a very nice touch pass by Sulkathor that hit Knox in perfect stride for the touchdown. Aside from that 147 yards passing and 43 rushing yards given up and they didn't have a late third/fourth quarter letdown.

A comment from Yahoo sports: Let me do this in a way that might get your attention...... ready...... BEAT A REAL FOOTBALL TEAM, BEFORE YOU GO BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR GREATNESS!!!1 Something tells me the way they are playing it won't matter who they're playing, there's no team in the NFL clicking the way the Purple is right now on both ends of the ball. Not the Colts, not the Saints, not the Pats.

1998 indeed. SKOL!

1998 Vikings Revived

Its Vikings Sunday and the kids were up early playing with a mini-bowling game that was bought years ago and found after some massive cleaning around the house. Much like the Vikes will be doing today against Sulkathor and the preseason NFC North favorites Chicago Bears.

A "trap" game perhaps but the Vikes seem to have hit their stride the last few games easily putting away the woeful SeaChickens and Lions. Purple Jesus should be limited today due to an ankle injury but this game should present the return of defensive glue Antoine Winfield meaning Sulkathor won't be able to rely on Matt Forte to overcome a sure four interception day especially with Vikes becoming a top five rushing defense even without their backfield run stopper for the past month. Winfield is a late scratch, gah.

I mentioned at the beginning of the season how the media was going to start with comparsions of these team to the fabled 1998 squad should their record match the expectations. Here's Star Trib writer Jim Souhan with a comparsion of the two offenses (it appears to be "premium content" sigh.). Let's hope Longwell hits the field goal this time in the NFC championship game.

SKOL!!!!!

Black Friday

Black Friday shopping done WITHOUT getting up at a crazy hour or camping out at Best Buy (seriously there were over a dozen tents and folks with chairs at NOON on Thanksgiving day). Say hello to my new friend:

With all the spending last year going towards needs (big needs) a little frivolous spending was needed especially after that unexpected Binion's tourney windfall. As someone mentioned last year while handing out the WCOOP paychecks: "I hope you have a little fun with that money".

I think killing some zombies constitutes as fun :)

Lazarus of Vegas

PSA picture to remind you to always bet the bonus and have more fun than the craps table

Post #1,300.

A sign of futility at life or a self-proclaimed benchmark that shouldn't be ignored while denying that blogging can be pretty cool in a you-live-in-your-mother's-basement sort of way. Yes, the pictures of my cat and occassional worn-out bad beat story-type lazy post will graze across the screen but for the most part you'll get some fresh content from the eyes of a lanky Minnesotan who is trying to nail down the responsible degenerate moniker while cheering rabidly for the Vikings.

Most people who read here are currently updating their Vegas travel bags, unless of course you're currently just getting home from Costa Rica after shooting rifles with ex-Marine snipers or enjoying the night time paradise sky while covering the LAPT event. In 16 days the WPBT will invade Vegas, their poker rooms, their hooker bars, and sportsbooks once again for a gathering of minds in attempts to catch up with friends that seem to live right next door yet are behind a barrier of state lines, cubical walls (not a peep out of you Al), and family life. To some its escape, four days of zero responsiblity to relive a time of college-like collage of degenerancy and not having to worry about deadlines, frantic dashes with toddlers to the bathroom at 2am, or whether or not that TPS report was filed correctly.

Its about being you around like-minded people who express their opinions on Twitter, Facebook, and even their blogs once in a great while. If you are a blogger or enjoy reading them, grab a chair at the MGM Friday night and chat football with anyone at the table while triple flop Omaha is being spread or pull up a seat at the Pai Gow Table and ALWAYS bet the bonus, we don't bite. Each person there is as genuine as the words you read. You'll find my aloofness both parts annoying and funny at the same time, if there's a desire to slap me at some point because I can actually hear you now but still have trouble getting the snark out of my mouth by all means go for it.

The WPBT represented both a high and low in my life on the same day. After hitting rock bottom being passed out after I decided to ignore every warning my body was giving me on the infamous Wheelchair Ride three years ago, I took a long look at my life after that. Granted the poker tournament was an after-thought when people started filling me in on the details that left me facedown on a bed with my wife shooting daggers across the room through her black belt sudoku book and the tournament beginning in three hours. To say we were married at that point would have been a fallacy. There was no connection besides the bouncing toddler at home, just days that strung together while we retreated to our corners except to face each other for another round of trading verbal barbs that left us both on the brink of exhaustion.

It was friends who dug me out of the hole. Friends that carried that lifeless body with a BAC that should have gotten me into some Clark County hospital. That body was lifeless for other reasons beside the concoction of Patron, Captain Morgan Rum, and Absolut running thru those veins. There was no fight left, no standing up after the eight count, by all means if I'd been flushed into the Imperial Palace sewer systems it would have been a fitting end. Instead, because of those friends I got a ride back to the hotel, I played in the tournament the next day (busting on a bad beat with two tables left), and from that point on to typing these words today things have gotten nothing but better.

Slowly for the past three years we put back the building blocks of our marriage and ourselves in the process. First was admitting the problem which consist of yelling Jerry Springer style at each other until the donkey-like stubborness finally wore off and changes were made. Two years ago another burden was dropped as seizures from the head injury vanished and she no longer had to double as a caretaker to an oversized kid with a gambling problem and be a mother of two. Last year we both finally admitted to long standing gray areas that prevented us from being friends instead of two signatures on a marriage license. She got help for depression, but this time stuck with the program and medication. Whereas I finally took the leap and got hearing aids (with a big dose of help once again from those who still read these pages) which opened up a world of sound and easy conversations. Along with gym memberships to stay active, the want to improve ourselves instead of slinking behind a Facebook page came back into the picture.

To say I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the people I'll see huddled around inked-up bottom barrel ladies of the night and a shot of SoCo at the Geisha bar in 16 days is literal, not figurative. My soul was restored that night, and now armed with a true friend for a wife three years after that night I'll be returning to Vegas a more complete person ready to write another chapter of this tragedy turned comedy. And yes, I'll have a Captain and Coke in my hand waiting to buy you one.






See you there folks.

Sulkathor You Are Next

Holiday week means quick hits since everyone looked my calendar and said: "hey let's schedule everything for Monday morning since we know Dave is a bright and chipper morning person!"

Bright? Not so much. Chipper? Despite finishing up the Sunday Warm-up wrap up around midnight I could say my step has a certain bounce to it. Why? Doing those write-ups and various blog posts (paid or unpaid) gives a certain satisifation that after five plus years (I guess I missed the five year Nickleanddimes "anniversary", guess I'll treat myself to some Nordic dominatrix porn that takes place in an ice hotel and involves Swedish meatball vendors and hockey sticks). The fire to write about this card game won't ever go away, it may simmer at time underneath a layer of ash and kindling, but there will always be a spark to chroncle that last river card coming out.

Or writing in general for that matter. Whether the subject is my kids (as seen by Kyra's game face), being a homer for this "fly-over" state's teams, or a pissed off rant about people at Costco who can't calculate the force neccessary to push their jumbo sized cart in a manner that doesn't ram them into my ankles. I know my ass is becoming a thing of beauty better enshrined on the pages of GQ but please keep your distance.

You could quote Denny Green's "they were who they thought they were" line yesterday as the Purple broke out of their slumber after the first quarter to put away the anemic Seattle Seahawks 35-9. After the 0-0 tie, someone got Favre out of his afternoon nap time by turning off the World War II synopsis on The History Channel just in time to go out and tear down the SeaChickens' defense for two quarters and get back to the 52" Tobisha during the fourth quarter just in time for the D-Day invasion complete with milk and cookies.

The old man jokes won't fade here, but good grief he looks someone playing Madden 2010 on easy mode. 22 of 25 and four scores, including another cartoonish catch by Sidney Rice in the back corner of the endzone (to those who selected Mr. Rice in your FFLs and dropped him after a few weeks, I point and laugh in your general direction). The talent was always their since this Gamecock arrived a few years ago, but injury and T-Jack's wounded ducks limited his potential. The receiving core has fed off the 40 year old number four, and vice versa. Combined with seemingly unlimited time to throw and giving himself time to throw, Favre alone with Purple Jesus have given the team the balanced offense they've been looking for.

The real shut out was on the other side of the ball as the defense locked down the Seahawk's offense with a parade of three-and-outs and limiting their running game to four yards. Four. Not forty, not five, just four on 13 carries. Which was to be expected since Hasselbeck has been called on to throw more than 50 times a game throughout the season.

The Vikes did what was expected of them unlike the team who gave the Purple their only black mark this season. The Chiefs? You let a team led by a backup quarterback, suspended All-Pro receiver, banished All-Pro running back, and all around asshole coach, win? Not good was seeing Big Ben taking a smack upside the head as the Steelers will need the oversized quarterback if they want to defend their title against the Vikes this winter.

Another WTF goes to the resurgently retreating Bengals who have scored several big wins this year only to lose to Oakland yesterday? Who Dey, not OK. Which team is going to show up at the Metrodome in three weeks? The one that beat the Steelers and Packers on the road, or the one that laid an egg yesterday against a squad better suited for the soon-to-be defunct UFL. I know the promising season of Cedric Benson was curtailed by injury but Palmer has a decent crew of receivers to go with a top five league-wise defense to overcome this.

T. J. Houshmandzadeh might be contemplating his career choice as he been on the opposite side of the sidelines yesterday, but another high priced free agent that was rumored to land here will get his shot this week to prove he made the right decsion. Sulkathor Cutler threw passes to various green-tinted jerseys last night much like the week before when it counted and lost the game for the Bears who come into town in a game that would wrap up the NFC Central divsion with a Vikings victory (yes, I'm aware that is fuzzy math go have another triple latte and smell the over priced coffee). Jay was also rumored to be coming here and had this author rather giddy at the prospect, except its Favre throwing touchdowns like Cutler, while Cutler throwing interceptions like Favre was supposed to. The pick by many NFL talking heads at the beginning of the season to win the NFC Central is one toenail away from going over the cliff into non-playoff territory. Lovie Smith will have even more on his gameplan plate as Winfield should be healthy enough to start this week and will benefit from Cutler's ability to hit cornerbacks in the numbers versus having to dive or annoyingly cut in front of receivers to obtain interceptions.

Tomorrow: Team Wheelchair is born for the Up for Poker Winter Classic poker tournament and a few tips about the upcoming WPBT trip. First tip, don't ever become a story about being wheelchair drunk in Vegas.

Its the Stuff in the Middle That Counts

Busy relaxing weekend?

Wrote posts for Poker From the Rail and MNPokerMag today and yesterday.

Will be covering the Sunday Warm-up at PokerStarsblog tomorrow.

But much like the Oreo, the best stuff is in the middle. Guys night complete with some much needed live poker before the big WPBT trip (you are going right? right?) in 19 days. And tomorrow afternoon will be reserved for Favre-gasm and recovery from the previous night's Jameson and Gingers.

Degen Night Wheels On

I play a bit of Omaha eight or better, a fair amount.

This was only my 3rd Steel Wheel in five years of nearly 6-8 tabling this game. Sadly it was at the beginning of a $5 tourney. Poo.

Cada on Sportscenter

While I plan on grinding out the fun low limit tourneys on Stars and Full Tilt tonight, our current world champ will be appearing on ESPN's Sportscenter tonight...

Ok RIGHT NOW!!! GO!

Pot Limit Prisoner

22 days. (this clock will stop once I can't count anymore and I have the G-Vegas gang surrounding me at the Pai Gow tables with an icy glare from Slavka the long legged former Ms. Kyiv after I turn over my fourth straight bonus hand)

We may love our double fried cheese curds wrapped in a pork chop over syrup, but Minnesota ranks as the 6th healthiest state in the union according to Forbes. The only thing this blogger contributes to that is going to work out for an hour then hoping over to Buffalo Wild Wings for two tall beers, a dozen wings, and buffalo chips with cheese.

It balances out.

My foray back into the world of online poker and poker in general (I'll have a post going up at MNPokerMag by the end of the week, my apologies as my blogging time became playing/other working time) has been going well lately. Aside from donating in the local blogger Skillz game last night where bluffing will get you called by ten high after playing tighter than Red McComb's wallet even in Omaha for two hours, it was another profitable night. That wasn't the case after a cooler hand of top full house meeting a 989:1 shot as I watched running queens give my opponent quads. My takeaway? I laughed.

Only due to the absurdity of this guy who plays 15+ tables at all hours, always starts the $50 buy-in table with $16.85 (shortstacker, which I hate) and procedes to shove preflop with any AAXX or any ace with wheel cards. He bemoans his bad luck consistantly if he loses the preflop flip, or taunts you should you get scooped. Yes, I already envision the mirrored sunglasses, hoodie, and bad teeth from downing cases of Red Bull while mommy changes his catheter every six hours so he can earn a couple of extra t-shirts from the site's VIP store.

Worse off, he ratholes (if poker lexicon isn't your thing click here). After doubling up he'll stick around for an orbit or two, then disappears only to reappear after the 30 min wait time with a fresh $16.85 stack. The real reason I stayed up to have the good fortune of taking one of his double stacks (and make a profit for the night) was because Ms. Gracie (or rather Mrs. Sweet Sweet Pablo) mentioned a show on TV worth checking out.

While 24 hours of college basketball on ESPN didn't pique my brain on a Tuesday night, a sci-fi mind fuck did. The Prisoner which I found on AMC started with the last episode as I was busy folding my way into obvilion in the blogger tourney, got my interest enough to stay up until watching the three episodes and getting gist of what was happening. A corporation with alternate utopia world created by the creepy number two (played by Gandalf!! errr... Ian McKellen) follows the characters around this "village" where everyone is known by a number. Former company man "six" (played by Jim Caviezel) is a corporate black-bagger who took care of folks that wanted out of this Pleasantville-esque place and now finds himself attempting to leave with his mind intact.

Been a long time since a TV show caught my interest like that, not back to the days of Central Perk or Mrs. Garrett's troupe but this show got you thinking along with every turn from the real world to this alternative one versus waiting for the punchline/laugh track. If you want to check it out, it will be replaying the first episode this Sunday.