Wednesday, January 21, 2009

First Step Taken

Edit: Thanks to everyone who commented yesterday, I'm not one to ask for help, but its great to know my friends out there are willing to give it.

The doctor visit.

During my time with the head injury I had several men and women in white coats poke and prod me like the meat contained in BG's wonderful Braised Short Ribs in Porter with Maple Horseradish Glaze, except instead of a stomach that begged for more, I found distrust. Being talked down continuously like a two year old who refuses to put away her princess dresses, countless back turnings and being told "that's not how you feel".

Yeah, those were fun times. If it wasn't for a my personal physician giving me straight talk, I'd splint a broken bone with some Ace bandage and some birch branches straight out of a Boy Scout handbook just to avoid the ER.

After leaving the doctor's office yesterday with a follow-up consult due to the severity of my hearing loss an audiologist was not qualified legally able to suggest the strength/make/model of the hearing aid. I'm fine with that, as she was polite, thorough with the hearing test, and this is the hardest thing to do with a hearing impaired patient... there was no coodling nor getting frustrated while administering the test or results. Well played ma'am.

(side note: a drug salewomen walked in behind me, looking like a pre-coked out and fed Kate Moss, yum)

Anyway. To the doctor part. The audiologist explained there was some gunk in my ear canals that might mess up the results of the test so I was sent to the doctor's office to get it removed.

Not happy with this. My intentions were to a) get a hearing test b) get a quote on a hearing aid c) avoid a doctor's poking and proding at all cost


Since I couldn't get to point "b" without enduring the doctor's visit I went through with it. Luckily the doctor didn't act like a total douchebag, he was cordial as I explained it been nearly 15 years since an ear specialist (called an otolayrngologist) has looked in there and since my last surgery. He explained there was still bloody residue from the surgery in there. Enjoying that lunch?? Good, because I was hardly able to eat after seeing the chopped up Earthworm-like stuff he pulled out.

If you've ever had your ears cleaned with a pick-like instrument which comes from the tray above then you may know how painful and how still you must remain unless getting jabbed Freddy Krueger-style down your ear is how you'd like to spend your afternoons.

He cleans, doesn't magically revive my hearing but feels like my ears got sauna bath and loofa treatment as I headed back to the hearing test where it was already explained I'd have to come back to see a doctor and shake my head no at all suggestions of surgery (think very expensive, six months recovery, and having to wear a receiver on my head for the rest of my life for just a small improvement). Yeah, I'll take door number two thank you very much.

As I told the audiologist my goal is to hear words with more clarity. I could care less if I hear my Rice Krispies pop, or some birds chirpping outside. Just being able to respond to people with the funny banter you find here or on the girly chat would put a gold star on the day for me.

Now, to the doctor rant... As I was leaving the restaurant (Chinese buffet, destroyed the cream cheese puffs, peanut butter chicken, and a mongolian plate) about 30 minutes later I felt an itch on my cheek which turned out to be blood dripping down the side of my face. My first thoughts were "oh, probably from the ear pressure nothing to worry about" or "DAMN, W-T-F did they put into the sesame chicken today?!!?!?". After waking up this morning with blood on the pillow it finally stopped without the aid of a panty liner with wings.

I did call in to the doctor's office and was told only to stuff some cotton as it will stop after a few hours (it didn't stop till this morning as I was up almost all night due to this water-swishing feeling in my ear that disrupted my normal dream about a high school friend who recently found me on Facebook and we were going to shoot a round of golf with Judy Garland at DisneyWorld). Writing this down Freud?

When I inquired about what could have caused this as my ear has not bleed since the surgery nearly 15 years ago, I got no answer. *sigh*

Since I'm fairly sure there will be blood scrapping for my next office visit on Wednesday, I would have rather not endured another round with that pick tray shown above as my dreams may go from Wizard of Oz to Hostel for the next week.

Will someone hold my hand and hand me a lemon flavored lollipop and take me to Dairy Queen for a chocolate dipped cone with sprinkles when the big, bad doctor is done? Thanks.


On a pokery note:

I read this article at Yahoo this morning. It seems our new president may get a glance at the midnight rule enforcing the UIGEA afterall. This is a good test to see if promises of being more stringent towards bad policies/laws that people do not want and didn't ask for will be fulfilled. At least talking about these midnight rules so quickly is a huge step in the right direction.

Again, will action follow-up the talk? That's the barrier that needs to come down before Americans will dive into "change". Look under "technology" here and our little special interest is #3 on the list (as of yesterday)

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