Happy New Years From the Frozen North

When Wrong Seems Right

I brought my future wife to this movie as our first date because I found Pauly Shore funny at the time. I think someone spiked my Cap'n Coke.

Last night’s blogger tournament was breath of fresh air as usual; unfortunately the best hand I saw all night was AJs which lost a coin flip (go figure). Since I was card dead, I tried to spice things up by offering a bounty on April’s head which she took offense to by doubling up with the hammer pre-flop vs. someone playing a silly pocket pair of Aces. I think I busted out somewhere around 30th, right after the 1st break. Good to see the gaggle of bloggers that showed up for a mid-week/holiday private tournament.

The real fun was in the chat rooms and side game when EPT Champ Brandon Schaefer dropped by the blogger PLO table filled with Dr Pauly, GeekAndProud, on_THG, Veneno, Maigrey, and several others filtering in and out. The cash games were the bankroll killer tonight as I managed to lose two buy-ins, one on a decent draw, the other just playing stupid. Mix that in with my PLO8 cash game going nowhere as the table maniac managed to double up pre-flop (not against me) with 55TT, I applauded the play and promptly tagged the fish for later use when I’m feeling better.

Hey Drizz, did you notice that you signed up for a PLO8 tourney on Full Tilt? Ah, I knew there was a reason I stayed up besides to watch JoeSpeaker and Change100 battle it out in the blogger’s tourney (congrats to Change100 on the victory!). With 98 runners and getting quartered three times in the first hour (which was my fault), I didn’t really pay much attention to the tourney as the table chat was much more interesting as Gracie stated she wanted to enter the Women’s WSOP tourney. That of course got my attention as I’ve been pondering on entering the O8 tourney for quite some time. DrPauly was kind enough to dig up the WSOP information for the O8 tourney: $2,000 buy in on July 3rd at the Rio. What a horrible time!! Since it’s close to my wife’s birthday, and the room rates/airline ticket prices will be sky high due to Independence Day it’s not looking good. The buy-in does represent a decent chunk of my bankroll at the moment so this will have to be planned out and discussed with the dear and very pregnant wife.

Is it possible for a pregnant woman to be dear and patient? I didn’t think so. Maybe next year it will be possible.

Drizz you're still playing in the PLO8 tourney… I managed to sneak into the final table due to some rather interesting plays as the chip leader managed to beat two all-ins pre-flop with 8866, shooting me and my extremely short stack into the money/final table. Thank you sir. Two final tables in two O8 tourneys, I might be on to something here.

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After watching the chip leader pull out another middle two pair hand to beat my forced all-in and Change100’s straight hitting the turn knocking Speaker out, I traveled upstairs to watch “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” reruns on the Game Show Network.

One word: Wow.

How the hell did these people get on a quiz show without being able to tie their own shoes? Velcro looks cool until you hit junior high buddy!


I’ll recount the three questions this COLLEGE GRADUATE WITH A MASTERS DEGREE managed to bust out on:

Question One: On Sesame Street, what was the name of Ernie’s bathtime buddy that he sang about? (he used the “Ask the Audience” lifeline in which 97% correctly answered “Rubber Ducky”)

Question Two: Which one of these instruments is often played simultaneously by two people during a duet? (choices… a) Piano b) Violin c) Clarinet d) Tambourine) He used the 50:50 lifeline on this one.

His bust out question… Which of the following choices is a famous French cooking institution? (choices… a) Moulin Rouge b) Le French Fry c) Le Cordon Bleu d) Arc de Triomphe

His choice was Moulin Rouge. Well played sir.

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Watching some of these quiz show contestants reminds me of lower limit tournament poker. Granted I’m no expert, and I’m certainly not successful at it, but after playing in several of them over the past couple of years and seeing who managed to make the money/final table the solid player is usually left shaking his/her head on the sideline mumbling to him/herself about how bad of play it was to play *insert junk hand here* and beat my *insert top ten hand here*. These types of thoughts will kill your spirit on these lower buy-in tourneys.

Don’t let them.

View the tournament for what it is. A lottery with cards. If your number gets picked, congratuations you’ve won the prize! Even if you have 91 tickets (AA) to your rival’s 9 tickets (A-rag), your rival still has those nine chances of winning. Try reversing the situation, play some junk hands if you can get in with the right price. With escalating blinds and the inability to reload (in a freezeout or after a rebuy period), you can’t buy more chances unlike a cash game where you simply reload and wait out the rival. It’s easy to grumble about losing coin-flips (I need to practice what I preach) and suckouts, but if you keep it in perspective while playing these tourneys I believe it will make you a better player.

Thanks for dropping by, now here’s a little Walker, Texas Ranger webpage for a certain fan. It describes the awesomeness that is Chuck Norris.

Short Reflections

For some reason, working today in the relatively quiet workplace seems like a blessing compared to another day of listening to a certain toddler scream his objections to sitting on the Blues Clues mini-toilet. And the joy that I’ll get to change diapers again for another two years in five months! Can a person be sarcastically happy about being a parent? On one hand you have the dirty diapers, tantrums, thrown food, and money being spent like Paris Hilton on a shopping spree. The other hand you get the hugs, “play with me daddy”, and the giggles when you do something remotely funny but seems like a full out comedy act for the little one. Is it a zero-sum game being a parent?

Not even close.

For this guy at least its not. Parenting for me has been a sort of CPR on my life. Nearly three years ago I was crippled by a work accident, seizures, severe speech impediment, and a gaggle of neurological disorders. Pile that on top of self-pity and depression and you have one fucked up individual. But along came Wyatt, and a reason to fix myself up each morning and face the world for him and be a better husband for my wife. I lost a good three years of my life wrapped up in that black hole of work-play online games-sleep and shutting most everyone out emotionally. Looking back, I can’t figure out why my wife stuck it out with me. Even today it still befuddles me how strong she was/is to keep our marriage intact long enough to produce such miracle that is probably at this moment going through his third pair of Bob the Builder underwear.

Holidays are about reflection, and that’s what I’m doing in shorten sentences because my writing skills match those of someone who scored in the single digits on his ACT English exam. But we won’t mention any names, because I’d hate to embarrass myself.

I’m also thankful for this community of poker bloggers for giving me an *ahem* profitable PLAY CHIPS hobby and a circle of friends that understands the fun to have a little gamble, a lot of sarcasm, and maybe a little alcohol in them. If parenting has been the reason I get up in the morning and enjoy the day, poker is the reason the day is rarely dull. Being a suburban dad with a regular 9-5 type cube monkey job doesn’t scream excitement. Add in a little gambling, a little Captain Morgan, and a little NC-17 chat with fellow degenerates and you’ve got accessible adult entertainment in the comforts of your own home without having to order the playboy channel for the night. It’s sort of a virtual Vegas without the porn slappers, celebrity roshambo matches, and DD-breasted waitresses bringing drinks every 15 minutes.


Thanks for dropping by, now go check out the possibly new and improved pokerdb for Stars tournaments. I’d probably cry after seeing my actual tournament money stats.

Potty Training

Two words a parent dreads.

Well, at least this one.

Scorecard for the day:

Two pairs of pants
Three Thomas the Tank Engine underwear
One pair of socks
One Thomas the Tank Engine T-shirt (featuring Percy)
Six temper tandrums in the bathroom
Five tandrums in the porch on the way to the bathroom
Three denied bribes of candy/toys/pop for assistance in taking care of business

Yep, exciting to be a parent :)

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As for some pokery stuff, I got some live play in at Grand Casino Hinckley on the way up to Ely for my buddy's cabin to spend Christmas. Since I'm a live card room virgin (in a made it to third base with a prom date sort of way) I have a question for vets of the real thing:

New table is opening and seven friends all sit down, there's only two other tables running, one is over your usual limit and looks a bit intimidating. The other has about a 40 minute wait and standing around will cause your body to seize up from anticipation.

Do you play at the new table versus seven guys that know each other? Play above your limits? Or go knock back overpriced/underfilled shots at the bar and wait for the soft seat?

I played at the new table and managed a small profit, they were a difficult mix of clueless-ABC-calling station sorts but managed to get paid off on a couple of big hands thus paying for my slots addiction fix for the night. I had fun telling a couple of tales about the recent Vegas trip and they enjoyed the extra company as one of them was celebrating his 22nd birthday trying to earn some cash for lap dances at the small strip club .

Damn young'uns.

As for the online variety... my tourney winnings from last night allowed me to erase some bad luck at the cash game tables. I think playing with Erik Seidel for an hour late in a tourney is worth MUCH more then the $246 that I took away for taking 4th. I had a shot at the T-shirt bounty at the final table, but the flop didn't cooperate unfortunately. Muy thanks to the late night railbirds who proclaimed me to be a multiple WSOP champ in the final table chat then later suckered me into a limit hold em game.

Good to be home again.

Thanks for dropping by now do yourself a favor and check out Full Tilt for its 10K a day promotion currently running. All you need to do to win a slice of the pie is earn a Full Tilt point playing ring games for a drawing slip. Personally I suck and haven't won a thing but I'm sure you'll have better luck.

No T-Shirt But...

... a nice welcome back, thanks for the game Mr. Seidel.


















Hope everyone had a great holiday, I'll throw a post up tomorrow if I get up before Little Drizz does.

Jingle Bell Rock

This self-proclaimed rock is heading up north for a mini-vacation/Christmas with my family plus my sister-in-law and her husband for the next five days. I may/may not update this here internet space while up there since the time will be wisely spent ice fishing, getting dragged on a sled behind a snowmobile, and a couple of casino trips. Fortune Bay casino has really exploded into a resort/casino from a bingo tent with a row of slots and five blackjack tables. I remember playing blackjack with the local state senator back then as his wife hit two slot jackpots in a matter of five minutes apart and he hardly looked up as he was up $2K on a $25 table.

Rigged like online poker (from Iggy)? Maybe not that bad.

The bankroll has been turning in a positive manner over the week and I’m still on track to reach my bankroll requirement to take a shot at the WSOP this coming summer (I'm a planner, sue me). Granted I was hoping for a nice fat MTT win/cash this year, but that hasn’t materialized since my tournament play sucks worst then taking a big gulp of orange juice in the morning only to realize its chocolate milk.

I have been making it deeper into the field which is encouraging, thanks to the advice of a couple of known tournament crushers. But my grazing grounds are the cash games where a simple re-load gives me the opportunity to get back in the game from a tough beat or bad play by myself. I will have a friend of mine play a tourney or two on my PokerStars account up at the cabin just to observe the cards from a different perspective. Instead of sitting behind him and saying “OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT’S NOT THE CORRECT PLAY!!?!?!” hear him out and learn from the consequences. Much like learning to cook or having sex, you learn more from the mistakes then you do from doing everything correctly.

Ok, I’m going to pack up my Super System 2 that just came in the mail yesterday from Interpoker (thank you Ryan Hartley!), reading material for the five hour drive up to Ely, MN. I hear the people who wrote it might know a thing or two about this game. Have a happy holidays, or is that politically incorrect? Have a holly, jolly weekend? So sad that you can’t say “Merry Christmas” without getting a ruler across the knuckles for not recognizing the 15 other holidays of which I have no understand of. I live in the US, I’m Catholic, so Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Thanks for dropping by, I’ll be out of town until Wednesday but there’s an internet connection up north that I may utilize if I’m not busy catching walleye, skating with Little Drizz, or playing "carnvial poker games" with my buddy (I have a retort to this article when I get back).

Welcome To Winter

OMG Blogger ate my post!!

Put down the snowball Chris, I was just kidding yeesh.

Is it April yet? Something about trying to get a cold jacket on a screaming toddler while your nose freezes up isn’t the most pleasant way to start the day. Just like poker would be utopia if it wasn’t for the bad beats, Minnesota would be the perfect place to live without winter (and maybe those pesky skeeters and sport teams that leave you with blue balls at playoff time).

Little Drizz is getting better about getting up a 4:30am to head to nana’s house but I don’t blame him for not wanting to leave his warm cocoon of blankets in place of a frozen car seat even if the drive is only a mile. Despite this he never fails to give a heart-melting “bye, daddy” and a kiss as I hand him and his three stuffed animals over to my mom for daycare. If there’s one thing that can brighten up the darkest days at the office is a warm good-bye from your kid.

After getting home from bowling last night I should have went to bed, but the itch to get in a game or two was a little too strong.

Quick congrats to Wil on his final table appearance in his own tourney!

A Stud 8 tourney was starting up on Full Tilt so I tossed my money into the ring and chipped around on some O8 ring games. The games were uneventful, except seeing a familiar face at the $100 NLO8 tables on Stars… Thee Mark (Greenville) Hmmmm that name rings a bell.

Drizztdj: Thee Mark? G-Vegas?
Thee Mark: Drizzzz come sit down so we can clean up this table

Yeah, that’s just what my bankroll needs is another crazy G-Vegas alumni finding the internet games. Despite both of us taking a couple of beats it was cool to reflect on the lush filled past weekend. If G-Vegas is reading this, someone hook him up with Yahoo IM, so I can make more deposits into his virtual wallet.

The Stud 8 tourney for me never got off the ground per a tough beat with rolled up tens, fifth street Tens full of Aces, and getting beat by a rivered Queens full of Aces. What made it a tough beat was the fact that the case queen was folded, and I held the other two aces… yep, a one-outer. It happens, so I tried unsuccessfully to recuperate the lost buy in at the PLO8 tables.

Drizz go to bed before you do something really smart like play 5/10 PL.

Yes, ma’am.

I heard people asking for a post or two about PLO8. Anyone interested in some bad advice? I’m sure my dating advice would be much less useful, especially considering my track record with the lady-types before meeting Mrs. Drizz. Mix Tommy Boy with the fashion picking ability of your run-of-the-mill mullet topped trailer trash and you get me. Big shoe sizes and long tongues only get you so far unless you can belt out “I Wanna Rock n’ Roll All Night” till your over 50 and get airtime in Miller Lite commercials.

But if you would like some PLO8 (even NL or limit) advice just hit me up while you’re playing on the Yahoo IM girly box and I’ll be happy try to help. And if my advice sucks, there’s always the 2+2 forums where people will tell you that you suck, don’t have enough hand histories, and should fold pre-flop, do you see why? People like Big Dave D, Ribbo, and Wintermute are the people you should seek out for excellent Omaha advice. They are very aggressive players but extremely successful ones, so beware of the variance curve if you heed their advice. If you want less variance I can pass along the faux nut-sitters handbook to PL/NLO8 (I do manage to find some infliction points in big bet O8 where semi-bluffs do work even in the low limits).

Thanks for dropping by, now who’s up for going back to Vegas in six months? Can’t wait that long? Me neither, but real life needs to be played out while the liver recovers.

Drizz is a Stud

Playing online all night is MUCH different then playing poker in Vegas all night. I am beat down this morning thanks to a Stud tourney that wouldn’t die last night (I finished 25th out of ~680). To stay awake for the tourney I decided to play 3/5th of H.O.R.S.E. and do some laundry at the same time.

I Finished 4th in a Razz SnG playing with Alan, when I couldn’t convince the chip leader to drop his rough 8 in favor of my slightly worse 8. I managed to snag a few bucks playing PLO8 at Stars and BET365 (bonus this month once again, 50 raked hands gets you $10 up to $100 plus entry into their $30,000 freeroll on the first Sunday of the following month if you play at least 300 hands raked more then $.25). The players are Party caliber but the cashouts from the site are a little funky which is why I’ve left my earnings there. Instead of a direct cashout, you need to call them for instructions to do a vendor to peer transfer if you use Neteller. A player who is skittish about funky withdrawls/depositing may want to avoid this site, but it is ripe with easy pickings from the casino/sportsbook section. Plus if you get bored, some of the highest limits on the net are played here, watch the Swedish phenoms butt heads in the $100/$200 NLHE game for pots that would buy enough double meat Subway sandwiches to satisfy Daddy for at least a week.

When did Party’s software start to suck so badly that people won’t play there despite the free money the players are handing out? I try to close a window and have to resort to alt-tabbing to get it unstuck, and repeat till the table finally closes out. Betting buttons are not responsive some of the time which tends to be annoying to a multi-tabler like myself. And who in Dikshit’s name came up with the idea to start hand for hand nine people out of the money IN A LIMIT TOURNAMENT?

I realize that patience is one of the reasons I am not a good tournament player. But, you’re a nut-sitter Drizz, your game is all about patience. Cash game, I can wait out an idiot to bluff at the wrong pot for hours. Tournaments are about making moves yet remaining patient to play when the odds favor you, acquiring enough chips to gamble a bit (a.k.a. dishing out a suckout), and absorb a suckout or two if necessary. In the Stud tournament last night I was only a little below par when I decided to run off the rest of my chips into a passively holed AA without at least two pair. Had it not been 1:00am when I needed to get up in three hours for work, and nearly an hour of breaks and hand for hand delays, I may have had a different approach.

Is this whining? It sounds like whining.

Maybe it’s a plea for Party to shape up, because Stars and Full Tilt are kicking your ass when it comes to retaining the player’s interest. The variety of games/tournament structures, meeting the pros, playing with a few geeks, and most importantly to me… customer service. If have you been living under a rock, Full Tilt is currently running their 10K a day promotion. For each pot you win and/or Full Tilt point earned you earn entries into a daily drawing for cash prizes up to $2,000!!! Granted the last time I won a drawing I was in fourth grade still trying to figure out why a girl would want to talk to a 85 pound waif with glasses like me. Maybe she dug the $20 in half dollars I just won in the school raffle and thought I’d take her to Chuck E. Cheese for a pitcher of beer, some skee-ball, and the cool animatron shows that run every 15 minutes. Also for those who haven’t played at Full Tilt in a while they are offering a 50% redeposit bonus at this time. I’ll end the shilling now before I turn into a garden gnome like a certain Don Swayze look-a-like.

Here’s a recent wrinkle I’ve run into since testing out Danny N’s new site. Despite being a Pokerroom skin it’s getting my props and a little bit of my play. They have a live IM customer box which has answered my questions in under two minutes each time, with the politeness of a bible-beater asking for donations to their latest built-a-church scheme (without interjecting the Catholic guilt of course). There’s a reload bonus of 10% each time you redeposit thru Neteller and if you’re a Danny N fanboi, chances to take on the Canuck at random times, this skin might have the legs to stick around. Yes, Pokerroom’s software is crap and to those who can’t stay away from –EV games the same casino is attached to the poker room, but the expedient and friendly customer service cannot be overlooked by players who value it. I’m still testing the waters as to the degree of difficulty in the games but I have seen the usual fishy play at the PLO8 lower limits. I’ll adventure into a little hold em’ later this week to see how those games are for the players who are still just playing “poker”.

Thanks for dropping by, now go read Felicia’s latest post concerning the future of big bet poker err Hold Em’.

WPBT Imperial Palace: Day 4

Much like the Vikes yesterday, I couldn’t score in the red zone.

There was a rousing NLHE game at the Imperial Palace so I bought in trying my last luck at these wacky games. With only 50BBs at a 1-2 table it seems like bingo when you have to bet 1/5th of your stack for a pre-flop raise to get any respect. Bottom pair would call you down, so bluffing was out of the question and at 5am I was still downing Cap’n Cokes because I didn’t want to snap out of my buzz. About all I remember of the game were these gignormous breasts swinging by every 15 minutes for a re-fill on my drink and shoving my meager stack in on a draw to break-even for the quick one hour game. If you like push monkey poker and can stand the swings, these low stakes NL games are a gold mine, still ripe with WPT wannabe’s and drunk guys like myself who get a case of the “aw fuck it’s” and just shove their stack in at will.

After breaking even I decided to make use of the free buffet coupon to make up for barely eat through out the weekend. Say what you want about the rest of the place but that buffet definitely served its purpose. Made to order ham and bacon omelet, biscuits and gravy, some donuts, and about a pound of bacon filled me right up. I was expecting the worst and my stomach was pleasantly surprised, if you didn’t use up those coupons you missed out on some decent grub.

I had lost track of time unfortunately and suddenly only had 45 minutes to pack up, check out, and get my ass over to Mandalay Bay for a NFL/Horse betting orgy. Checking out was fairly quick but a little confusing since Chad was staying an extra day and he didn’t *ahem* make it back the previous night. But the beautiful desk clerk was able to get the ball rolling quickly with a smile. The hotel may be on its way out with all the confusing elevators and constant construction, but the staff and comps definitely made up for it. Thank you Imperial Palace for holding our tournament and keeping the bar properly stocked.

20 minutes to kick off and I’m sitting on the monorail heading for MGM Grand, knowing I still need to dash down the strip to get to another monorail from Excal to Mandalay Bay. I may or may not have run over a few blue haired slot queens in the process. With five minutes to spare I spot Mike in line to place a few parlay bets and after exchanging greenbacks for worthless pieces of paper I collapsed into a chair. I also may or may not have been in a comatose daze while trying to keep up with all the action going on. Betting on a horse race here and there while watching my parlay bets crumble on the big screens.

Pure Bliss.

Bloggers screaming for Too Drunk to Call and Mr. Otis, me getting shouted at by a be-thonged waitress for being too engrossed in the games, and finally taking a shot at the $25 Pai Gow tables (which didn’t work out too well). I pushed hard in those final hours but the house took the money, and Drizz went home only spending money on non-gambling things. Is a push considered a win in this case? I managed to gamble for four days straight yet the only money I spent was on the hotel, food, cab rides, and god knows how many tips. Like the Aladdin tournament, I left Vegas in awe of this little community of bloggers and how open and welcoming they are. Going to Vegas with my wife is certain kind of fun but she doesn’t really drink nor gamble much, the WPBT crew brings the real Vegas out for me at least. Yeah, I did not partake in an adult entertainment, as I missed out on hitting up the strip clubs once again but I got to do everything else I wanted on the trip.

Thanks again everyone, and can’t wait till next time.

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I won’t rant about the Vikes game yesterday since they beat themselves. Sure the media will say the Steelers were the better team. But the way the Vikes marched into the red zone at will yesterday showed they were much like a bad porn actor, driving the down the field too fast with an inability to finish in the end. Since their playoff hopes are slim to none now; I hope they’ll finish out the season at 10-6, and give the state a reason to back them for their new stadium bid. Even if they finish 8-8 it was a great ride while it lasted. As a fan, I hope the newly acquired defensive veterans don’t bolt over the off-season to warmer pastures. I think this group has a chance to make a dent in next year’s playoffs with the return of Birk, Culpepper, with the pick up of a decent offensive lineman or two.

Thanks for dropping by, now if you haven’t checked out the entire list of trip reports please click the links on the right to get a properly versed version of this past weekend’s debauchery.

Drizz The Greek's Week 15 NFL Picks

Trip report will be done tomorrow since I've been busy de-flooding the basement and running to every christmas party from here to the North Pole.

Thanks to the Mile High boys covering and hitting the over last night, I'm freeballing today. Not like JoeSpeaker of course.

Here's my uneducated guesses for losing money to those wonderful off shore betting parlors on the internet. Unless you're lucky enough to be able to wager at Mandalay Bay in person and ogle at the V-Strung waitresses while you watch your 4 team parlay go down in flames.

Two Team Parlays:

Vikes +4, Jags -15.5 (I hope Sean Salsbury eats dirt after this one, counting out my Vikings is not a way to treat your former employer)

SeaChickens -7.5, Cards -2.5 (Today's most unwatchable game unless your name is April)

Colts -7.5, Over 52.5 (I'm weary that the Colts will play pre-season football here, but someone's gotta stop the 72 Dolphins champagne bath)

Wasted Money Parlay of the Week:

Texans
Cowboys
Browns
Falcons

All straight up money line bets, where else can you turn $5 into $130 outside of PartyPoker?

Thanks for droping by and SKOL VIKINGS!!!!!!!

WPBT Imperial Palace: Day 3

The day of the big tournament.

My anticipation of an early bust out and subsequent whining enable me to catch four hours of restless sleep. Actually I was extremely excited to see everyone that I didn’t catch at the MGM or Excal. After snagging a cheese Danish at Starbucks with Chad and Speaker we strolled upstairs to the massive gathering of fellow online poker scribes.

This is where the tingle started. I probably repeated the phrase “I’m still tingling”15 million and one times to Otis and Rini because it was the truth. I’d never played in a big live tournament nor felt the exclusivity of the roped off area, OPEN BAR, and professionally set up poker arena. The only other time I’ve felt this was playing in the state high school baseball tournament. Except this time I didn’t have to worry about being eyed by scouts/college coaches. Instead I would be stripped mentally by fellow virtual card slingers.

People say you shouldn’t drink while playing a tournament, but for me it’s the opposite. While playing competitive volleyball, my teammates ALWAYS insisted I have a shot/Cap’n Coke before stepping onto the sand. Reason? Because then I would just react to the flow of the game, rather then think about it. If I made a mistake, I’d shrug it off easier and get ready for the next point. And as soon as BigMike graced the table with his presence right next to me all thoughts of sobriety went under the table. Shots of SoCo were handed out and consumed before the announcement of “shuffle up and deal!” came out.

I won’t go into detail about the tournament except to say thanks:

To all the participants: We all play this brutal game of taking each other’s money yet come together like one big happy, dysfunctional family. Your smiles and jokes are infectious. The generous offers of drinks and conversation, warm up a saddened heart of losing on the felt.

To Rini and Otis: Your leadership brought this tournament and gathering to life and exceeded every expectation. Be proud of what you’ve done and here’s to hoping it will happen again. Did anyone get a picture of Rini kicking me in the balls after busting him? I want to use it as blackmail for a Full Tilt hockey sweater :D

To Imperial Palace: Ok, your hotel is a maze worthy of a MENSA entrance exam question. But you put on a great show! The staff was attentive and polite. The waitresses’ boobs were firm and legs were long. The poker room, while small, provided some great side action (not to mention those yummy finger sandwiches and cookies).

To The City of Las Vegas: You left me with a depleted wallet, blue balls, and one massive hangover again. But, I’ll be back for more in six months. Keep seat 4 on table 22 at the MGM warm for me.

I managed to finish 18th in the WPBT tourney. Four hours of play with 100 friends all for the amazingly low price of $65 (does not include shipping and handling). As you probably read from our victor’s write up, you need to get lucky more then once and that just didn’t happen as I got shortstacked with 4BBs left and found 77 UTG. As soon as I saw –EV look at his cards, I knew I was in trouble. Queens never win, right? Yeah, the Hilton’s punched my ticket and sent me over to the open bar for one last Cap’n Coke.

After the bustout I spied the adjacent poker room for an open seat and found BG playing a little 2-4 with some WPT pros. After taking the seat to his right he informed me of the half kill which confused my alcohol addled head to no end. I decided on a short buy of $500 this time because my chip stacking skills were a little off due to the lack of food in my system mixed with a full tank of various drinks. My chip stack went up and down and BG kept taking my money like an Enron executive, but we were both receiving donations from the guy in the one seat who felt compelled to call to the river with any two cards completely ignoring my panting when I had a big hand. Then a kill pot came across while I was in the big blind, BG folded, raised by a scruffy/quiet kid in the two seat, SB was the kill, I called blind, and the kill also called.

Flop T T 6

SB bet, I called blind, the scruffy kid wakes up and raises. Hmmmmm. SB calls, and now I look down at my cards JTo and start doing a mental happy dance. I call the raise. And the turn comes out a blank which completed the rainbow. Blinds checked, scruffy kid leads out, SB calls, and Drizz RAISES! Suddenly the all of the air from the scruffy kid seemed to be let out but he calls and the SB folds because you know he’s wearing a poker shirt and stuff. The river is another blank and I throw out one more bet knowing I’ll get called by an overpair. Just before the showdown BG interjects “I bet my boy turns over a ten”.

You are correct sir. Scruffy turned over QQ.

After racking up, the batcall came from the Excal to return to alcohol and wheel spins. I found the Vegas Hold Em’ table already filled with G-Vegas and Wil Wheaton so I tried a little spot of 2-6 limit with Derek. After only playing two or three orbits, I wasn’t feeling well and decided to walk the floor a bit. Easycure and his lovely wife waved me over to play some Pai Gow, but my head just wasn’t in the right place to have fun. Little did I know I just gave up seeing her hit a Royal for $750 which paid the table as well. I tried bouncing around on the nickel slots to see if some cartoons would get me back into the gambling mood but alas, even a couple of bonus rounds on the Monopoly machine didn’t do the trick.

I finally realized I needed to be with the group.

Speaker, April, Columbo, Falstaff, and DP were slinging chips at the same table I lost $300 at on the first night. Figured if this doesn’t cheer me up, maybe I’ll check out a strip club on my own.

It only took one wheel spin to flip the switch back to fun.

First hand I watched Falstaff’s flopped TPTK with AQ, fall to runner-runner quad jacks by DP. Then GRob started dropping by to hand out money like it was candy. The wheel at the Excalibur has three colors, I took blue, Speaker had green, GRob had yellow, and then I also had blue with Falstaff taking green. Yellow missed the next 7 times in a row, reducing GRob to sob like someone who got left at the altar in the middle of the poker room.

“No more!” cried the meticulously coiffed one as he weeped back to something he could actually win at.

The game broke after a few hours and we were offered new seats which everyone but me took but I wanted to head back to the IP and possibly hit up the poker room for some comps towards the hotel bill and try out the NL game. Instead I got sucked into a penny machine with a super-cool bonus game at 5am! DP and friend were lounging by after getting back from the strip club (opportunity missed again) inquiring why I was playing video games as the lovely bouncy waitress came by with another Cap’n Coke. The idiot boxes usually calm me, but they were a sign of boredom tonight as I was stuck with a case of the shoulda-coulda-wouldas. Not soon after they left, Chad came bouncing by with a mile-wide grin on his face as he headed to the bar. He also inquired about me throwing away money playing slots but I think his mind was on other things…

Thanks for dropping by, tomorrow will bring a race to place a parlay bet, SKOL VIKINGS, Pai Gow losses, and will Mr. Otis fall out of the gate?

WPBT Imperial Palace: Day 2

Started the day as a tourist, by midday I was a man of the cloth, and by night I was a card slinging blogger.


The Tourist

When the Excalibur PLO8 game broke in the wee hours of Friday, I attempted to go back to the maze that is Imperial Palace for a quick hour or two of shut-eye. Even though I consumed enough alcohol to fill Lake Superior twice over, I couldn’t sleep. What’s a person to do when he can’t sleep in Vegas?

No, I didn’t dial up a “relaxation therapist”. I went for a walk up and down the strip. Its one of the most overlooked free things to do in Vegas. There’s something therapeutic about day-break on the strip. Its not overtly crowded with seniors hustling from casino to casino wielding their coupon books for a free deck of cards and a coffee. The strippers have succumbed to their narcotic highs and lay in comatose till the dinner buffet starts up again at their club. With the weather being near perfect for a winter-hardened Vikings fan, I also enjoyed watching people bundle up in gloves and coats while I carried my freshly made McGriddle and hash brown with no destination.

Maybe I’m a dork (ok, not maybe…), but I also enjoy watching others’ gamble. No, not just the people betting my yearly salary on four to six cards of baccarat. Its watching the frat boys slinging dice for $5 at O’Sheas, the slot queens with players’ club cards from every casino on the strip, and the degenerate who is wagering on borrowed money praying to the gods of Hoyle to turn over an Ace and face so he can pay his bookie and rent this week.

After the nice walk I met up with Joaquin, Donkeypuncher, and Performify to go raid the Orleans for an O8 tournament, with AlCantHang and F-Train already there. Since I wasn’t lying in a pool of puke on this morning, I was ready for my test to see if there’s ANY reason I should try to play in the O8 tourney at the WSOP in July. I figured if I bombed here there’s no reason to blow 1/4th of my bankroll to earn a souvenir stating “I Played in the WSOP and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt”.

But, I didn’t bomb, in fact I came darn close to cashing despite being the only person left who wasn’t wearing an Orleans hat/jacket/shirt or with a Las Vegas driver’s license. The cards just didn’t materialize for me as I was short-stacked much of the third hour, only able to split one pot, and steal another on a raggedy flop. I went out with a decent A25J hand but the flop came out mostly high leaving me to runner-runner and the chip leader’s continued run of premium AA(wheel)X hands held up. I placed 17th out of ~80 runners, excellent staff, excellent structure, well worth the entry fee. Sure, the WSOP will have MUCH better players but this was reassuring that I may have a knack for this mixed game. Or I'm just extremely lucky while playing.

Priesthood

I cannot properly write up that cab ride since I was still half-drunk and going on nearly 40 hours without sleep, but I can tell you next time I’m asking for the parochial discount on strippers. Check out DP’s write up of the crazy finger banging Hispanic cab jockey.

Time to gambOOOOOOOOl!!!!

Since the Orleans took up most of the day it was time to descend upon the MGM Grand for Joaquin’s mixed game mosh pit. I arrived a little early and found a Princess and a Genius silently stealing chips at a 2-4 table. Matty soon came up to intro himself after leaving a healthy chip stack at his table. I decided on a $700 buy-in at the $2-$4 table once my name was called but not after many drunken attempts to just sit at the open seat. If Helen Keller and Steve Urkel were ever to mate, you’d get me. Finally sitting down with my tower of blue chips I started playing my usual weak-tight game, calmly tossing the blackjack hands back into the muck with the flair of a TGI Friday’s worker. Maigrey managed to impress even CJ with a one-outer suckout when her short stacked opponent turned a straight flush only to get rivered by her four card Royal. I would have gone broke.

“Why do you have so many chips?” inquired the “serious” player in the one seat. The simple answer is that I loathe limit hold em, the complex answer is that I play looser with a big stack and see the towers as legos rather then checks which can be redeemed for money. Tight isn’t right at a limit table where it pays to hit those gutshots, flushes, and idiot two pairs. I’m not breaking any new ground with that statement, just overcoming a mental block that I have at a live table.

Soon the mixed HORSPE game started and I was back in blogger heaven. There’s nothing like slinging chips with friends and dragging a few suckout pots. I remember seeing Matty, CJ, BG, and Performify at my table (please help me fill in the blanks) and also bouncing back and forth to the back bar where blogger’s were yielding to the Roshambo skillz of Mrs. Head and discussing various subjects that need not to be repeated.

In between the bouncing, a surprisingly short Chris Moneymaker scrolled out of the restroom with the scowl of someone who just got stacked. I guess even WSOP World Champs lose once in a while. Then, my stomach started growling from neglect; it’s the food capital of the world and I choose a McGriddle for an entire day’s meal (unless you count my steady liquid diet of course). My dinner wasn’t much better as I settled on eating a warm pretzel with Speaker and Rini while watching futbol highlights in the massive MGM sportsbook.

After the pretzel was consumed, I went back to the IP for the only sleep I got the entire trip. All four hours of it.

Thanks for dropping by, tomorrow will bring tournament highs and lows, “I bet my boy turns over a 10”, and “Drizz, why are you still up at 5am playing slots?”

Side note… A big FU to shoveling snow at 4:30am this morning. That is all.

WPBT Imperial Palace: Day 1

Happy birthday to me!

My birthday couldn’t have started out better. I walked into the Lindbergh Terminal a few hours before the flight to Vegas and spotted a vacant Galaga game to see if I still had the chops. After level 43, I knew any challengers that may come about in Vegas would be crying in their own puddles of ineptitude to my greatness.

Ok, back to the journey to faux reality here.

Video games are fun, catching a blogger playing poker on his laptop when going to Vegas is better. Chad was busying rebuilding his online roll on a pretty slick laptop before our reaching our destination. I resisted the urge to ask to play myself, but that’s because I had more important things to think about… like getting some alcohol in my system. After seeing the overflow in the first bar, we settled down in a Spanish motif watering hole with significantly less patrons. A Tall Dos Equis and a Jag bomb to start things off while we discussed poker and how fuckin cold it has been outside.

After finishing the libations it was time to board to the Paradise City, where the grass is smoked, and girls are pretty (but mostly fake). The plane flight was pretty smooth, and I declined the option of buying a $3 pack of peanuts. Thanks to the ability to choose a seat, the coach seat right behind 1st class offer plenty of legroom and I was able to stretch my little legs out a bit.

McCarran airport was really changed for the better with all the restaurants and shop offered at the terminal. As we left the plane, I could have sworn I saw Lyle Berman, but as Chad pointed out, do you think a multi-millionaire would be flying coach on a crowded afternoon flight?

Perhaps not.

My luggage managed to only delay our cab ride by a few minutes as I found it rather quickly after the monorail ride to the main terminal. We were ready to stand in the cab line… but there was no line as we were directed towards an open cab and politely told the Arab-accented driver to take us to Imperial Palace. I tried to get him not to take the highway but since the flight plugged up my ears I couldn’t argue with his protesting (no tip for you sir). He tried to offer club tickets to lessen the blow, but these were turned down since 1) I still have the ones from the last time still in my wallet and 2) I’m not much of a “clubbing” type.

Once inside the hotel, we decided to check out the poker room for early arriving bloggers. Nada. Chad then suggested we check out Harrah’s for a little poker action while we waited impatiently for the blogger get-together to finally start. The buy-in was $100, the game… NLHE. Immediately after sitting down, I somehow get tangled up in the first three hands and watched $30 leave my stack rather quickly. One thing that took some adjusting to were the pre-flop raises at the table. On-line you’ll see a raise of 3-4BBs, here the raises were 2-6 CHIPS, since you’re given $100 in redbirds, that’s the raise of $10-$30 on a $1-$2 blind. It seemed very foreign to me and took a little bit to get used to. The table was definitely soft, especially with me sitting down, but I managed to snag a short-stack when he called my big slick $50 re-raise with AJo and didn’t catch his 3 outs. My first live play stack, I thought of celebrating with a Happy Gilmore bull dance but settled with a curt nod as the busted player had over $400 in his stack just four hands prior. Ouch.

Leaving Harrah’s without any clue as to where people were, led us to MGM Grand where we met up with several bloggers: I believe there was a Canuck, a hippy, and a BigMike (I'm HORRIBLE with remembering name, cards no problem, but names I suck with) so if you were there please let me know! After getting all giggly with the blogger folks after an hour or two, an announcement was made to storm the castle.

It was here’s where I got my first poker lesson of the weekend:

Top two pair isn’t very good versus two flopped sets and betting into them can make you look rather stupid.

The lineup at the table was rather soft compared to the rough table at Harrah’s. Rounding out this ego and nad-shrinking table… Otis, JoeSpeaker, BadBlood, Chad, DrChako (added!), TheMark, CJ, and TheATM (myself). Slowly, I managed to bleed away my profit, and a proper stacking when my top two didn't hold up against Blood's flopped set of deuces. Many more shots and Cap'n Cokes were consumed as I tried to defiled my ability to remain vertical, but it didn't work. Sadly, a Linda Blair impersonation never happened which was quite shocking to me since I can't remember the last time I drank so much.

After losing a buy-in and a half I heard some music to my ears… “let’s play PLO8” and no TheMark wasn’t kidding. I figured this was my only chance to skim some money off this lineup despite a quick $1 Roshambo win. Even though the game did not last very long, I managed to recoup about $80 from my weak-tight-stupidly-aggressive NLHE play.

It is possible that the amount of birthday shots consumed had something to do with my horrible play, but the main thing was… I was having fun despite losing, thus setting the tone for the remainder of the weekend.

Thanks for dropping by, tomorrow will bring stupidly tall chip stacks, O8 tourney at the Orleans, a cab ride with more raunch then a Sam Kinison routine, WSOP Champion sightings, and hot pretzels for dinner.

Can The Long Shot Come In?

I'm still recovering, be back tomorrow with Day 1 of the WPBT Imperial Palace trip report.

A tip to ponder on today...

Never bet on yellow.

Stupid People Amuse Me

Me and the wife were done with our respective shifts at work and she needed to drop off a doctor’s note at the school district’s main office explaining her recent increase in cup size.

Here’s the conversation between her and the HR lady that looked like the evil queen from Sleeping Beauty but seemed nice in a former Elementary school principle sort of way:

HR Evil Queen: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Wife: “I have a note from my doctor explaining that I am pregnant and will be missing work in late April-early May”

HR Evil Queen: “Well, congratulations! (starts to read note)”

Wife: “Thank you”

(time is paused for a minute while she scans the notes with the precision of an auditor scanning a ledger)

HR Evil Queen: (suddenly has a frown on her face) “Is this for a Workman’s Compensation claim”

Drizztdj: (head explodes)

Wife: (not missing a beat) “No, my husband got me pregnant at home”

Drizztdj: (must… not… laugh…)

HR Evil Queen: “Congratulations again, and I’ll make sure to update your file!”

Couple exits and resists laughing until the car starts up.

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Poker playing was a shorten evening for myself as I played in a PLO8 tourney on FT with no success as someone spiked a 2-outer on me, but I was shortstacked and it was correct for him to call my all-in. Such is life.

Most of the night was spent railbirding Otis on yet another excellent tournament run at Party. His modesty exceeds his poker skill as he slashed through 700+ in the Super Wednesday tournament. I had to pack up a few more things and try to sleep when there were 61 left in the tournament. Hopefully he’ll have a final table story awaiting us in Vegas.

You are going, right?

Thanks for dropping by, now check out the UFP crew’s listing of some great pointers for you Vegas virgins (and some vets) out there. I’m breaking the rule of checking luggage but it was necessary this time. SIXTEEN HOURS TO VEGAS BABY WHOO WHOO!!!

Poker Player Goes On Tilt After Spilling His Drink!

Two MTT tournaments.

Two cashes.

Still upset.

Immediately after cashing in a 180 person SnG on Stars (18 people left), I sat in the BB with less then five BBs left holding ATo, seeing the tournament maniac on the button I knew if it was folded to her she would push with any two. She pushed and had me covered by just a couple of chips, SB folded, now what? I knew I was ahead and the blinds were starting to hurt badly. Do I release here and pick a better spot? Or push my edge by calling and go for the bigger cash?

I called, she flips up K4 and proceeds to get runner runner full house. Awesome.

Is this a leak in my tournament game? Pushing edges instead of waiting to flop a Royal?

Hand me a Cap’n Coke and I’ll stop the whining now.

Tomorrow is the day I enjoy my 31st year of life with the people who put up with my poker whining and taking myself too fuckin seriously sometimes (ok, more then sometimes). The constant reminders that we’re gambling and playing a game are needed, and the bloggers deliver night after night.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen of the virtual felt (and in 36 hours, the real thing).

Sometimes when I watch Little Drizz throw a tantrum after being told no more snacks for the night, I realize that I’m doing the same thing when my favored hands get cracked. While funny to watch, I also see that he has a tough time calming down even after I let him kick and pout for a few minutes.

In poker we call it “going on tilt”. Playing a game where the nuts can change dramatically with each card (PLO8), a certain emotional shell should be worn at the tables. Celebrities have managers and bodyguards to protect them from the paparazzi and most of the time from themselves. I believe a poker player who doesn’t have friends to shoot a quick message to after their aces get cracked for the 5th time in a session, is a player who will end up on the cover of Star magazine next to the photo of a woman from Bubblebeez, Mississippi holding her second alien spawn after she thought it was her cousin that she was having sex with.

Bloggers have the IM chat box, dial-a-shots, and the sarcastic wit of those who can remind you that you’re too full of yourself and try to enjoy the fact that you played the game “correctly”. Sure, the results sucked more then finding a very soiled diaper under your toddler at the restaurant with no changing table, but eventually the odds will go in your favor. I have a love for this silly card game we play, but it’s the support and comic relief that bloggers bring on a nightly basis that keep me hooked to bettering my “game” and reducing the amount of projectiles stuck to the drywall after bad beats.

I think the biggest key to a successful poker player is the ability not just to calculate pot odds, read other players, or guess your opponent’s hole cards with the accuracy of Robin Hood’s arrows.

It’s the ability to control you.

When a player can watch his AA get cracked by someone playing “sub-optimal” cards and say “nice hand” without George Carlin sarcastic sharpness, you’ve made it. If he/she can get up from a tournament in gracious defeat on the bubble while being a 91% favorite pre-flop, you’ve made it. If you can keep your Corona to straddle ratio at 1:1 for over five hours yet still check-raise someone off a better hand, your name is Men the Master and you don’t need to read this crap. The point is, after you’ve mastered the basics that can be found in any 2+2 book, the real profitable poker players are the ones getting wet on the curb after five taxis splash them with freezing water, and getting into the sixth taxi with a smile and a destination.

Thanks for dropping by, now if you haven’t read JoeSpeaker’s WPBT poem do yourself a favor and click on the link. Wow, I wish I could write like that.

Practice Makes...

… me mad

I vowed to do nothing but hit up tournaments this short week and try to work out the kinks in my tournament game. But last night’s foray into the tournament arena was met with the resistance of the current or 85’ Chicago Bears’ defense. No Super Bowl Shuffle for this donkey of the play chips as I managed to bust out of two tournaments before the breaks on plays where I felt I was ahead, was ahead when the money went in, and lost.

There’s something to be said about patience in a tournament game that I just don’t possess. If I feel someone is full of shit or that I have the other person beat, the money is going in. Sadly, this back-fires on me more often then not, and there’s nothing but a lost buy-in and thrown objects scattered across the basement. Back to hitting fungos and quick sets for me, as practice makes perfect, right?


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Since I wasn’t playing poker the whole evening, that free’d up time to view the Iggles implode on their own home field. Three defensive TDs? Ouch. I think Jaws was ready to hop out of the announcer’s booth to toss a few fly patterns, anything to get the ball out of McPick and I’m-A-Detmer’s hands. Football does consist of 11 people on offense and 11 people on defense, but losing two (three if you add Westbrook) all-world players on either side of the ball are going to cause some problems. Then again, the Vikes are winning without Culpepper and Moss…

I purchased JoeSpeaker’s spoils from a little bet we had on our respective ball teams this summer. Unfortunately they won’t allow a 24 pack on the plane so I’ve had to pair it down to a 12 pack of bottles from Minnesota’s own Schell Brewery. I got a sample pack so there’s different flavors should one disagree with his palate. As for next year… Luis Castillo baby!!! Ok, at least he’s a step up from Tommy Herr, Steve Lombardozzi, and the latest abortion a gimpy Bret Boone. Now we need a third baseman, and we’re looking mighty fine for next year.

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After the liquor store we hit up my parent’s house for my birthday dinner (early due to other obligations). Per tradition my mom makes our favorite dinner as a present.

Breaded pork chops
Cheesy potatoes
Crescent rolls
Corn

Simple meal for a simple guy. The wife doesn’t care much for breaded pork chops so this meal is a once-a-year thing and I made sure to stretch for 15 minutes before attempting to put a dent into the stacks of chops my mom laid out. I ate so much I didn’t even have my usual big breakfast this morning, which is haunting me now since all I got to eat at work is some Club crackers and gummy LifeSavers.

60 hours to touchdown folks, please make these hours go by quickly as I ended up watching Best of the Best last night when sleeping wasn’t an option. The ka-ra-te parts were cool as usual but that geeky russian dude kept me off-balance with his whinning. DONT DO IT TOMMY!!!!!


Thanks for dropping by, now if I win a couple bucks in Vegas... this is what I'll be purchasing (props to Justar from DAoC).

Purple and Gold

Purple and Gold, Purple and Gold
Everyone wishes for Purple and Gold
How do you measure how much a backup quarterback is worth?
Just by winning games give us pleasure here in Minnesota

Purple and Gold, Purple and Gold
Mean so much more to win then to lose
Purple and Gold decorations
On every Christmas Tree

(From Burl Ives’ “Silver and Gold”)

Tis the season to watch Rudolph 15 million times on CBS, and by now fans of the Vikes should have been bitching and moaning over their lost season when Daunte’s knee got turned into pureed Buddig lunch meat.

Five-in-a-row.

The defense stepped up once again yesterday, and Jason Hanson WOULD HAVE kicked all the points had it not been for a bad call on a punt in the third quarter. By the way… nice job taking out the punter, class act. Mronos.

Going bingo to Koren Robinson on the first play set the tone to show the Vikes were not go to stick to little five yard slant patterns all day. Just giving the other team the HINT that you can throw the deep ball opens up the offense enough that even Michael Bennett can scamper for a few yards.

Are the Playoffs a possibility with four games to go? Vikes’ schedule isn’t getting any easier. If the Vikes can beat either the Steelers or Bears, I see no reason why they shouldn’t make the playoffs. Wow, five weeks ago all Viking fans could discuss was sex on the high seas of Lake Minnetonka and who would look good in Purple and Gold with Tice’s headset on the sidelines. Is this bandwagoning? Maybe, but I’ve been a loyal fan from Bud Grant to Les Steckel to Anthony Carter to Pat Williams, its good to see the Vikes right the ship when they have faltered in the past.

SKOL VIKINGS!!!

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84 hours from now flight 781 from Minneapolis (non-stop) arrives in Las Vegas, Nevada (food for purchase, no meal given). At that time this blogger will be seeking his first slot machine, as tradition, to play at McCarran airport. But, this time is a little different as I’ve never celebrated a birthday outside the state of Minnesota. Are there different laws to the “puke and rally” theme in Nevada?

What’s that? Casinos serve free alcohol?

My liver is in trouble.

One thing I have never done in the past is make sure I drink enough water, this has been recommended by the patron saint of SoCo shot consumption and endorsed by a New York City pharmaceutical representative. A bottle of Dasani attached to my hip while downing unknown alcoholic beverages will be mandatory. This sensory overload I’m sure all bloggers have been experiencing is bound to lead to disappointment like finally having sex with that one girl you’ve dreamed of since junior high school swimming class.

Right?

Wrong.

I had doubts before my first WPBT live event and they were immediately quashed by the time my first Cap'n Coke arrived for the mixed game at the MGM Grand. Who thought losing $100 to friends would pay back itself? The people you will meet in Vegas are exactly as they come off in their blogs. I am sarcastically geeky. Granted my one-liners come off a little slower due to my work accident, but if you sit around and wait 15 minutes I’m sure I’ll say something funny or at least look stupid while searching for the punch-line.

I see a lot of people writing “I’m a wallflower” or “I don’t meet new people with the suaveness of a politician”.

Neither do I.

When you can only hear half what people are saying, and can’t say what you mean, its quite tough for me to feel confident enough to go up to a total stranger and start up a conversation about whether its correct to inform a supermarket cashier that they missed ringing up a item. Yes, I informed her that my Cocoa Pebbles did not get rung up last night. Sheesh. Damn Catholic upbringing. Then again I’m already going to hell, so why not get a free box of cereal with an offer of a free music CD (after you send in 4 UPC labels)?

The point to my usual incoherent rambing is… meet someone you’ve been reading for the past year. Learn a few things outside of the written word on the felt. Play Pai Gow at 4am with a country-hopping blogger and make fun of him when he suggests to play the bonus dollar bet and waste the dollar anyway.

Most of all… I know this is tough…

HAVE FUN!

Poker is a social game to be enjoyed. Having mastery or beyond common knowledge of the game does give you an edge but you’re still gambling once the cards are turned over.

I struggle with my “I play better cards, therefore, I should I win” attitude during tournaments. While busting out with a 91% pre-flop favorite last night, I lost the control I have during my cash games and reverted to being a nay-sayer and table coach. In other words I was being the same dickhead we all hate at the tables.

I bring this up because guess what I’m going to want to bring up in Vegas when its poker strategy discussion time at 3am when the conversation sways more then a weeping willow tree during a windstorm. Anyone who’s read more then one poker book or considers themselves an “above-average” player has had this problem with tournament poker. Luckily an Encyclopedia Britannia of knowledge and wit will descend upon the Las Vegas strip in 72-100 hours from now.
Will you be singing SKOL VIKING LET’S GO with me at Mandalay Bay on Sunday?

I hope so.

Thanks for dropping by, now if you’re playing in the WPBT tourney and haven’t signed up for the UPF 3-man/woman challenge now’s your chance to take on Team Omatards! Chad, Mike, and myself will be squashing G-Vegas with quotes like “OMG where are my other cards?” and “Dude, I had a low wrap with a nut flush draw!” Good luck to all!

Drizz The Greek's Week 13 NFL Picks

Tourneys are heating up for me as I cashed in another 700+ person MTT yesterday. I would have two cashes but someone on a pair draw in a PLO tourney caught trips vs. my top two + nut flush + nut straight draw.

I crashed while trying to watch FSU upset VT last night (thanks to all-world bookie Daddy for that pick). I can't seem to watch any sports on TV anymore without passing out to dreams of 2am shots of SoCo, Pai Gow with Tiara'd ladies, and shooting dice with Professional Craps slingers and WPBT tourney crushers.

I received my first birthday gift today... the world's smallest poker table setup. Maybe Chad will be up for a game while on the plane if we can manage to find a midget to shuffle the mini-cards since I have the dexterity of an alcoholic who's been dry for two weeks.

Ok then, without further ado. Here's this week's edition of... How SHOULDN'T You Play It!

Two Team Parlays:

Bungles +3, Vikes -2.5 (I know they played the Colts last week but Big Ben didn't look very comfortable last week while getting pummeled)

Jags -3, Packers +7 (Bears win ugly again, but Farve keeps it close)

Vikes over 38.5, Bungles over 41.5

Bucs -4, Panthers -3 (Vick is looking much better, but I take the home team in this pick em')

Three Team Parlay:

Phins -5.5
Colts -16
Giants -3.5

(This was a "throw a dart blindfolded" type pick, you're better off picking the opposites as usual)

Thanks for dropping by and good luck! SKOL VIKINGS!!! Tomorrow, hopefully I'll impart some more bad advice for everyone :)

I'm No Spaceman

But occasionally I don't get unlucky.

Still never won a coin flip, and lost out while ahead, but I managed to cash tonight.

Thanks to the well wishers, and make sure you go give Jason some heavy props for overcoming a 9-1 dog, to win it.

C'mon Ride The Train

WHOO WHOO!! WHOO WHOO!!

Anyone else remember dancing like a drunken idiot to this song?

Wha? You still do?

And you call me a dork. Sheesh.

Ok, the train is getting ready to leave the station folks. Seven days to the end of your normal lives and the start of partying like rock stars for three to seven days. Seven days to seeing those avatars in live competition. Seven days to seeing GRob’s hair in person and asking him to use his “TV voice” to announce his raises with 83o.

(Vince Van Patten) “It appears GRob has forgotten he can’t double down here Mike”
(Mike Sexton) “You’re right, the only person I could see making a move like this is the legendary Stuey Unger”
(GRob) “Will you two shut the fuck up, I saw Walker make this same move while executing a perfect roundhouse kick, and saving Girl from a burning barn while flying a helicopter and holding a newly birthed baby calf in the other hand”

Seven days to seeing friends.

Sleep? Yeah, that’s something I get listening to Burl Ives belt out “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas this yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear”. Is it cute or sad that I fell asleep watching “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” with Little Drizz in my lap last night at 8pm? Yet, another night of falling asleep on the couch but getting up to play poker afterwards. I did tuck Little Drizz into his new toddler bed and read him the Thomas and Tank Engine masterpiece “A Crack in the Track” before relieving a few players of their monies in a short session of PLO8.

Degenerate gambler indeed.

I was planning on moving up my level of play from -5 to -3 this weekend by sitting in front of the glowy monitor for hours on end and playing some tournaments on Full Tilt and PokerStars.

But the wife has other ideas.

Friday - Shopping at Mall of America! I guess the dent she put into the credit card last weekend wasn’t enough and the bankers at Citibank rejoice! At least there’s a Hooter’s there... for lunch purposes only of course. Watching Little Drizz flirt with the waitresses is worth the overpriced food alone. I’m hoping to find a NKOTB or a Color Me Badd poster to use for JoeSpeaker’s ultimate demise in the tourney.

Saturday – Reindeer Run. We do this charity run around Lake Harriet each year, despite the frigid temperatures and well, we never run for fun or exercise. Raising money for Toys for Tots while missing a few toes or fingers from the frostbite. I kid, its damn cold running around that lake but well worth it for this excellent charity that brings toys to those boys and girls who normally would not receive Christmas gifts.

Sunday – Birthday party for one of my friend’s kids. That’s father-speak for getting the friends together to watch the Vikes’ game in a different room.

Think Dick is ready to lead the Lions to victory over the suddenly resurgent Vikings defense?

Can Jason Hanson kick all the points for a win?

Will Andre Ware come out of the tunnel to hand the ball off to Sanders who sprains all the defender's ankles and stops to pimp an on-line brokerage site before scoring a touchdown?

My prediction: Vikes 24 Lions 12 (all field goals), and several shots of Millen with his hands over his face during the telecast wondering why his team went to shit once again after wasting yet another #1 pick on a wide receiver. SKOL VIKINGS!!!

If the Lions do pull it together and win I’m fully ready to hear the smack talk from the Nardi brothers in Vegas.

Thanks for dropping by, now if there any WPBT attendees I have not added to the blogroll, please stand up and announce to this deaf-mute that I’m slow and retarded and have not added you to the list.

"Don't Mess With the Bull Young Man...

… you’ll get the horns”

Moo.

I felt like the cash cow early in the night playing some PLO8 with those wacky Europeans and their odd shaped coins at Interpoker. Getting quartered twice in a span of five hands gave me a British POUNDing to the mid-section, especially when I had 20+ outs to a 3/4th. But I managed to escape with minimal damage to my most recent attempt to play the $1/$2 game there with a well-timed bluff on a paired board and knowing the player had the ability to lay down his aces with no chance at a low.

What was that ruckus?

I can describe the ruckus sir.

Its Drizz’s heartbeat playing at the $1/$2 tables full time now (as games are available) and his heart is beating outside of his chest when making plays at pots. It’s nice to feel that excitement again, the well-timed semibluff, betting with a hidden nut-nut hand and knowing the other regular players are shaking their heads at the weak player who’s calling down with a straight on a paired board, with three flush cards, and no low. Instead of one to three regular players at the $.50/$1 tables, there’s now two to five of them at the $1/$2, still enough players for easy pickings but more caution to be used when entering a pot and/or attempting a bluff.

"Yo wastoid, you’re not gonna blaze up in here."

No, I’ll leave that to the experts next week ;)




Thank god for digital cable, now I can relive 80s cinema 24 hours a day! I think a brat pack marathon is in order sometime soon to appreciate the extra cable dollars I’m spending with digital cable each month. But, bonii at Interpoker needs to be cleared before the month is up so I have a little extra cash in Vegas for *ahem* entertainment and maybe a nice sit down dinner. Who am I kidding? My idea of a nice sit-down dinner is any place where you don’t need a tray to bring your food to your booth. Put more then one fork in front of me, and I’ll ask the stupid questions of which forks to use for which course. Yeah, I’m that guy.

The IM box was loaded with eager bloggers last night to swarm on the city of sin. I made a suggestion of hopping over to the Monte Carlo at some point in an afternoon to hit up a five liter micro-brew beer. I believe they’re called “giraffes” and come with a nifty tap. Me and my buddy Burnsie finished one a couple of years ago, and luckily the food was filling enough that the only reason I fell over was trying to get a better view of the be-thonged ladies in the pool right outside of the restaurant.

I doubt there will be many viewable g-strings outside of the strip clubs this time however; it’s a bit cold for those in the Southwest.

Bust out prize, bust out prize. I have one for busting me, which isn’t difficult, just get me in a coin flip and you’re a 99:1 favorite to win. Trust me on that.

It’s nothing extravagant. A small, leather backpack that I obtained through our company store with a deck of cards and professionally styled Yahtzee dice cup inside! I’ll take a picture of it once I get home today.

I’ve been hitting up the Vegas poker room websites for places to play Omaha 8 but have come up with “will spread on request” or flat out NO! I guess I’ll be regulated to watching Felicia and Badblood play the mixed game at the Wynn or buying in for $1K at 2-4 limit Hold Them at the Excal when we storm the castle again.

“Sir your chips are blocking your cards”.

“You’re right; I should get more chips, CHECKS!!”

My plans for my birthday on the 8th are... drink, get a lap dance, drink some more, play a little poker, get a straw so I don’t need to lift a glass to drink, play some more poker, puke and rally, play some extreme keno while drinking, then pass out (or "rest my eyes") after the fifth number is called.

Can’t wait.

Thanks for dropping by, now here’s a site that all you Jonathan Bender fanatics have been looking for! Sigh.

NKOTB

JORDAN!! Just saying that rang “Hangin Tough” off in my head and reminded me of my days as a skinny math geek at Northview Junior High. No poker last night since I managed to fall asleep watching cartoons with Little Drizz in the early evening (can you tell I'm ready for Vegas?).

Sigh.



Instead of my usual bitch and moan post, I thought I’d pimp some blogs that have been added to my daily reading roll.

StB: Listing “80s Hair Bands” as favorite music always gets a plus in my book! This investment banker from Mill-wah-kay (anyone else remember Alice Cooper describing Milwaukee in Wayne’s World? No? I’ll shut up now) has been blogging longer then I and describes drinking beers in cases rather then single numbers. Oof.

TraumaPoker: Trauma is a fellow PLO8 degenerate who brings the action and gets the nut-sitters off their game. His style of ramming-and-jamming has been very profitable and has me re-tooling my aggression in these games. He also is the co-champion of the Heads-Up Challenge #2, watch out for this guy shorthanded.

Poker Poison: She’s a heads-up specialist who enjoys taunting the boys via IMs into taking her on in HU matches. If you do manage to beat her, there’s some sexy about getting cursed in rapid-fire Spanish. I kid I kid.

TenMile: His soft Garrison Kellior storytelling voice about poker and rural life takes you down a pebble crusted road into his adventures on the virtual felt.

Tao of Poker: NYC blogger with a weakness for stripp... Oh, you’ve heard of Pauly? Well, go check out his tips on surviving a weekend with the bloggers in Vegas. The suggestions are gold, learn them. Since there are no marital restraints for Drizz this time I’m gonna need some kind of direction… towards the strip clubs :D

Change100: LA chick with a penchant for kicking in drywall and enjoying some herbal remedies after her aces get cracked. Remind me to wear a cup at the tables playing against her.

Columbo: Newer blogger who penned a post about my former addiction (Dark Age of Camelot) and plays in the same games as my current addiction (Omaha 8 or better). He’s got some cool WPBT hats made up. Go check em out!

Tonight I will be hunting down an O8 tournament to play in (shocking, I know). I really need to brush up on my limit game if I’m going to take a shot at that mixed game at the Wynn, or any O8 game in Vegas.

Note to self: Put down that Juggs magazine and start reading some Ray-Zee for the next week.

Thanks for dropping by, now click on the bloggers above as they are far more entertaining then this scribble.

Results Based Observations

Guilty as charged.

In poker you’re supposed to be focused on making the correct play, not how the cards come out. Value bet those draws to get maximum value when they hit, put the other guy to the decision for his/her chips, force the mouth-breather to CALL with a 11% chance to win.

Exhaling here.

I did manage to snag decent cashes this weekend, plus another $26 tournament token on Full Tilt (thanks Daddy for pointing out those SnGs). I should be pleased that my tournament plays have been correct despite a string of two and three outers hitting.

Right?

I don’t feel happy.

In fact I feel like that Packer idiot that fumbled the late 4th quarter kickoff preventing Joe Buck from creaming his pants if Farve would have led a drive for the game winning field goal. My god what an ugly game, the only bright spot was Westbrook and the emergence of an Eagles running game.

While we’re segueing from poker to football… SKOL Vikings? Amazing what four wins in a row can do to the image of your head coach. The offense has been slow and steady like serving a nursing home lunch line (one of my many former jobs), the defense has been living up to its price tag, and the coaching hasn’t been as predictable as a porn movie for once.

That rookie corner who’s been filing in for Smoot has been nothing short of outstanding, Sharper has been the ball-fiend he was in Cheesehead land, and D-line has finally been pressuring the quarterback. Granted it was a gimpy, over-the-hill Trent Dilfer that the D-line was pressuring but at least they didn’t let him have happy hour in the pocket while slinging errant passes off a bad knee.

Are the playoffs possible for this duct-tape riddled team? The schedule seems fairly soft from here on out, save the home games vs. the Steelers and Da Boring Bears.

I do know one thing for certain:

Dec. 11th I’ll be wearing my #99 Viking jersey at the sportsbook of Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino rooting on my Vikings vs. the Rams and doing shots with the finest collection of drunken poker players to walk the planet.

Are you antsy at work yet?

Stop tapping your foot and glancing at your Cat-A-Day calendar every two seconds! Maybe for the next WPBT live event we could just announce it 2 days before leaving so people could actually be semi-productive at work and sleep at night. I remember the weeks prior to the WPBT Winter Aladdin Classic being almost as restless as the first week we brought Little Drizz to our home. And this time it’s not the added sponsorship of Full Tilt and PokerStars (but that’s a VERY cool and welcome addition). It’s not the added pros and possible free swag.

It’s the people.

If you haven’t attended an event I cannot describe the energy and openness of this group. You won’t find a friendlier, diverse group of people anywhere. Every group has an asshole that makes everyone else uncomfortable you might say. Sure, if you go to a church group there’s always a holy roller that is a bit overzealous and smites you into brimstone if you misquote some obscure bible passage. Or that smelly, crazy uncle with three teeth, who cuts in front of your grandparents in the food line at family gatherings, then demands some money while dishing up some cole slaw because he ran out of booze and Reds and his wife can’t work because she’s pregnant with their 12th kid of which half of em are his.

Your not going to find an asshole in this group, unless you eat all the bacon at the breakfast buffet with Daddy standing right behind you. That would make you the asshole because that's just mean.

“But, we play a game in which we take each others money” you might say. True, poker players are known for deception and thievery at the tables. But, did someone online ever offer you an irish car bomb and a McGriddle at 5am to discuss why the leftover hookers are still sitting at the bar? Better yet, go ask them why they’re still sitting at the bar.

Ever want to learn about poker from a different perspective? Limit? No Limit? Mixed games? Live games? Bonus whoring online? How to deal with tilt? How to deal with never winning a fucking coin flip? Just look up the handy spreadsheet Bill mailed out last week and ask the question. You read the blogs, now ask the questions in person.

Here’s a good thing bloggers could jot down in a post this week:

Describe your looks, and what you’ll be most likely wearing during the weekend (JoeSpeaker does not need to list the 15 different brands of designer evening-wear he’ll be fashioning on Saturday alone).

I’m about 6’4” and slender build. A cackling, annoying laugh, with a toothy crooked smile. Pale white from all the warm weather we get here in the Artic Circle. Most likely I’ll have a visor with the Vikes or Monte Carlo on it. For image purposes I’ll wear some stupid poker t-shirt to throw off the locals and blend in with the fish at the tables. I may or may not wear my skin-tight Absolute Poker jammies bottoms but I will be wearing wind pants. If I’m at a low stakes limit hold em table I will have 300 BBs minimum in front me… unless –EV already bought out all the chips.

My accent tends to be difficult to understand while under the influence of alcohol (unless you speak Minnesotan Garble, which an offshoot dialect of Canuck Garble). So, if you’re looking for advice on how to win at Chinese Poker or if Felicia isn’t available… O8, catch me snacking on a McGriddle or at Denny’s sitting in front of a Grand Slam skillet in the morning before I start my steady diet of Cap’n Cokes for the remainder of the day.

Thanks for dropping by, now if you don’t have all the information for the WPBT Imperial Palace tourney click on the banner above. Now you can go back to glancing at your clock again.

Drizz The Greek's Week 12 NFL Picks

Ah, nothing like doing the weekly cleaning to a construction worker telling you where you can hang out with all the boys.

Bless this iPod.

Ok then, I finished up Weekend at Pauly's somewhere around 12th or 13th place overall. Not a bad haul for someone who sucks at tourneys and can't win a coin flip to save his life. Yesterday's card death ended with AQ vs. JJ, I didn't improve.

Without further ado, here's the picks you should avoid today!

Two-team parlays:

Vikes -4, 49ers +8.5 (Don't bet on your team is good advice, but gosh darn it I think the Vikes have a little mo-men-tim)

Raiders -7, Seachickens -5.5 (Shawn Alexander will rush for 5 million yards and Randy Moss will break out of his wallflower mode today)

Vikes/Browns Over 38, Rams -4 (yes I don't learn my lesson about betting on the Rams)

Three team parlay:

Bungles -10, Chiefs -3, Panthers -4 (the Panthers line today looks like a solid investment)

6 Point Teaser:

Pats +9, Bungles -4, Cards +10 (throwing away money here as usual, but Teaser bets are fun!)

Enjoy your NFL Sunday, I just got digital cable and plan on rocking to Arena Rock during the games while being shown in HD!

Can Drizz Win One For The Gipper?

Its been a long time coming, but I may be heading to my second final table on Stars....

Since I cashed in two other MTTs tonight and busted with suckouts, I think the poker gods should grant me some passage here.

Sadly, the cards have been rather frigid save the hand that I luckly caught a set, then rivered a boat vs. two low draws that didn't get there.



Limit O8 is about extracting value, unfortunately there's not much value in the cards being shot to me at the moment.

Down to 12 now, I'm getting frostbite from the cards and my weak-tight game is steadily creeping in since its been too long to remember my last Stars final table.

Update: I scooped with AA33 ss, when I caught a low gets me in ok shape with 11 remaining

Update: Hit a set, other player missed his straight draw 2nd now with 10 remaining

Update: FINAL TABLE BABY!!! Its fuckin 2:15am but I'm amp'd after a shitty day earlier

Update: Down to eight now, this is starting to get a little tense for me, as weak-tight Drizz from a year ago is creeping into my game, but I can afford to be a little selective with 10BBs in a limit tourney at this stage. Pino888 is by far the most aggressive at the table and has shown down some good hands.

Update: Shortstacks don't seems to be getting the memo about busting out. Sigh, one guy all-in 4 times, split each time

Update: Houston we have a disconnect, please add four fuckin minutes to his timer right before the damn break! I need a drink.

Update: Chip leader finally delivers a suckout-luckbox punch to the shortstack's aces right in the mid-section. Down seven now.

Update: Chip leader turns a nut-nut hand and another shortstack missed his straight flush. Down to 5 now.

Update: Out 4th, Chip leader has the suckout power of 10 hoover vaccums, over taking my AA46 ss, with trip threes. He had odds and the cards so I shouldn't complain, now that its 3am I think I'm going to treat myself to a little rest.

Thanks to all the late night railbirds for your support!

Turkey Day Musings

Snow has started to fall outside here in the Twin Cities and I find myself bundled up with emotions.

I saw the past last night as we partied after two different family dinners. Playing beer pong in an un-heated gargage at midnight with 20 others looking on.

I look at my son and see my present life as a father, caregiver, and an occasional rickety unsaddled horse with two bad knees. Even through the tantrums of not getting his way at the dinner table or crying for not being able to play with the toys he saw my wife bring in after her morning shop-a-thon, I find myself alive.

I look at my wife and see the future growing inside her and a life to begin with a family of four.

I look at myself in the mirror and wonder why I deserve such life. I still see a broken person staring back at me in the mornings and can't dispel a hate for my roadless continuation. A goal-setter without a goal to reach makes for one very confused and lost person. As I write this, I'm not sure where I want to go or what to do when I get to my next destination.

But Drizz you have the world waking you up at 8:30am with stuffed animals, a toothy smily, and a big "DADDY WAKE UP!". Maybe I need to separate my wantings and give into the collective family, and there I'll find the happiness I seek.

Or maybe I'm just pouting again because of yet another 2-outer knocking me out of a tournament.

Whatever it is that's nagging me and causing the nauseous swirl in my head better leave soon, because I'm going to Vegas in 13 days to see some friends. I'd rather not show up downtrotten as a degenerate gambler on his last proverbial nickel, but as the person I write about in this blog, the person my wife wakes up with every morning, and the dad who cheers on his son as he knocks down a row of plastic bowling pins that have been re-set for the 22nd time.

Whew. Sorry had to find a place to get this junk out of my head so I could go enjoy the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend. Tomorrow, better spirits as I nail up a post about my beer pong tournament victory.

Happy Holidays folks, and good luck to all!

Penultimate to Non-Cash

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.

-- Samuel Goldwyn

Thanks again for the sweat guys. Sorry I couldn't suckout on the massive chip leader.

Actually I was squarely the last to non-cash, not next to last. I just wanted to use the word “penultimate” and try to be a cool kid. Bubble boy again for the third time in three days.

Sigh.

SirWaffle mentioned on the Instant Messaging box that a PLO8 tourney was starting up on Full Tilt while I was just planning on checking my email, maybe find some midget porn, and head to bed with the nasty migraine I’d been fighting all-day. But, a PLO8 tourney stirs my loins more then seeing garden gnomes getting it on in a back seat of a school bus.

I think I threw up a little bit there.

Card death combined with calling stations and having the chip leader raise every single hand while getting blinded down is not a good mix. Granted ANY hand is playable when you have five times the stack of second place in an Omaha tourney, but it didn’t help my position of having to pick my spots to call and hope for a good flop with draws to try to snag a cash. I was more patient in this tourney then in the past. In fact I've been far more patient recently in tournaments and the results are finally coming in. I didn’t shove my chips in the middle without thinking about it first. This is a corner I’ve finally turned with tournament play as in the past I’d shove my chips in with a coin flip then write some whinny post/IM about how I never win the flip.

*** Warning stupid unwarranted poker advice is about to commence ***

The following presentation is not-suitable to those under the age of 21 or people who think that grape kool-aid is better then cherry.

In PLO8 it is FAR more advantageous to see the flop THEN take a course of action. If you shove pre-flop even with the holy grail of all O8 hands AA23 double suited, you’re only a slight favorite over two or three donkeys playing a two pair hand or four mid-range cards (such as 89TJ).

Being aggressive by shoving pre-flop (without a huge stack, bludgeoning people with a stack is different) is turning your tournament into nothing more then a War-styled card battle. I’ve read several blogger’s suggestions over the past week concerning the advantage to winning post-flop rather then pushing small edges pre-flop. I don’t think there’s a better game to do this at then PLO8. “Sweetening the pot” with min-raises is an excellent tactic with a potential scoop hands (three to a wheel and suited ace), that way if/when you do hit the flop hard (nut-low plus four to a flush/two pair/a set) you’ll get paid off without risking your entire stack in a game that your course of action is very dependant upon the flop.

Unlike Hold Em’ where a small pair can pull off a stop and go with a raggedy board if you put your opponent on two overcards, in PLO8 if the board comes out with three to a low and you hold AAKJ with no potential flush, your hand is now dead to half the pot the majority of the time, and you’re getting free-rolled for the high. This is a prime example of a hand I see overplayed in O8 tournaments time and time again.

I must really be sick for trying to offer poker advice. Please accept my apology to those who are rushing to the medicine cabinet for some quick dissolving Maalox-Plus.

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Ever gone to a retail store and had to pick the line you wished to check-out your exfoliating lime infused body wash and catnip toys for your cat, but three cashiers all ask you at the same time “would you like to check-out sir/ma’am?”.

Which one do you choose?

Think hard here.

Last night, my wife chose the cashier with a little Pillsbury doughboy thing seeping out underneath her straining red ribbed shirt instead of the Tyra Banks look-a-like. Even Little Drizz barely turned around to say his usual “hi hi” to the display of flesh oozing out between the stretchy pants and boob enhancing sweater top. I was going to mention the Six-Pack Abs video featuring a very sexy John Basedow was on special in the clearance rack, but that seemed a little immature.

Personally I’m not one to expose my midriff since my six pack from playing hockey is gone along the lines of a Budweiser party ball now and I shouldn’t be critical of others. But I wasn’t the one trying to accentuate my bosom at the expense of rippling wave of flesh across the belly button ocean. Even the pregnant wife gave a “what the fuck” look as she could tell those weren’t maternity pants the cashier was wearing.



Thanks for dropping by, now go check out Hank’s latest post concerning the psychology of poker. Your ego and sanity will thank you.