Mission Impossible

Your mission if you choose to accept it is to clear bonuses over five different web sites in the next 30 days. This is a solo mission that only you and you alone must finish. You will face dangerous characters like Fishy Fred who will call down his bottom pair to hit trips on the river. Whiny Wilma will test your nerves when you spike that inside straight draw and whines about it in chat over the next half hour. Gambooling Greg will raise every pot you enter testing your patience and hand selection.

Here are your targets:
Absolute Poker: 2200 raked hands at .25 or more raked per hand
Paradise Poker: 1600 raked hands at .25 or more raked per hand
Empire Poker: 1050 raked hands
Pokerroom: 700 raked hands at $1 or 1400 hands at .50 raked per hand
UltimateBet: Play until your fingers fall off or you finally earn that Harley for 3 million UB points

Good luck, and this tape will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

Think I bonus whore too much? Naw. But this month with moving, two weddings, and family illness its going to be a challenge to clear all these bonuses, plus the monthly ones from Crypto. The easiest one is Empire of course since nearly every $25NL hand is raked at least for a dime. The Pokerroom one is tough since four-tabling only yields about 100 total points per hour. Paradise was suprising when I played 500 hands this weekend and only 200 counted towards the bonus. Absolute isn't horrible to clear bonuses at since the 6-max games usually contain 1-2 maniacs that make sure the rake is done on almost every hand. The NL games are tougher there, usually 3-4 good players at the $50 level rather then 1 or 2 at other sites.

I didn't play last night due to fatigue from this weekend, just sweated the blogger table for a little bit. I've gotten much better about not playing tired/sick which was a big money leak for me in the past. Thinking you can just play ABC poker while sick/tired and still be productive at the tables is a sure-fire way to piss away your bankroll.

Fear Factor couples competition was interesting last night when the strongest couple left out of the four choked on the elimination challenge and only grabbed 3 flags out of 5 on a moving train. But, the very next couple went up and stumbled right at the start and got DQ'd for the same rules violation as the strong couple did and got eliminated only 11 seconds after starting the stunt. You'd think with no clock to worry about they'd be extra careful and just finish the stunt at their own pace. Bye-bye one million bucks for impatience.

Got a little good update from my wife's grandpa, he's feeling a little better then this weekend. The docs say it was a bad cold causing the extra difficulty in breathing that caused him to think he was going to go this weekend.

Barring any family emergencies or new house problems, I'll be bonus whoring it up at Empire and Paradise for the rest of the week. Gotta earn enough to pay for my wife's spa treatment at Treasure Island in Vegas next month. But more importantly, earn enough to battle the fishes at Excal and Aladdin per the bloggers advice. That and I'd like to splurge on a nice cigar should I actually have my first profitable Vegas trip (I've never gone home a winner in 7 years, damn bonus game slots!).