Thursday, January 26, 2006

Marshmellow Peep Sex With Heather Graham

If you had a choice which Spice Girl would you want to impregnate? Posh for me pretty please.

Slim Shady aside how the hell are ya this morning? Me? Fever gone, and my cold has been reduced to a couple of Kleenexes for my runny nose and working without a case of the spins makes for a happy cube monkey. End of the audit season around here means for a little downtime and busy work to be coming my way. The job has taken a turn for the better with the introduction of a couple of cool projects to pull me away from scanning pricing reports and deals all day.

It’s ok to be in a good mood once in a while, right?

Despite my good mood, I hardly played poker last night. Opting to delve into girly chat with the bloggers about Heather Graham sex scenes and why the tools who play Aces for a min raise into seven people need to be beat over the head with a rabid wolverine. I played just enough to get into SilverStar status at PokerStars last night. Not sure when the Thai hookers and the Macallan 25 will be arriving at my doorsteps for reaching this stratospheric amount of play, but I’m hoping it will be soon.

Hell, I’ll settle for a six pack of Pabst, a skin mag, and maybe a box of Triscuits (and none of that sissy “low salt, low sodium” crap Mr. Lee Jones).

Kidding aside there are some cool perks to this VIP deal PokerStars is putting out. $2,500 weekly freerolls, increased multiplier for getting FPPs (towards that Jacket that I want), but a little disappointment that you need to satellite into their $100K Monthly VIP freeroll, I could go for broke trying to rack up 2,500 FPPs this weekend (not happening). Unless I make a permanent move to join the roller-coaster 6-max limit games, I don’t see myself attaining GoldStar status any month soon. Since my most profitable game is full ring PLO8 the game usually moves slowly and if there’s no action players in the game your ratio to played hands vs. VPP point hands is probably 3:1. I don’t have 10 hours a day to get those kind of points.

Last night I dipped a toe into the low limit 6-max O8 game waters. There was some strange post-flop play that allowed me to sneak away with a small profit for the night. I don’t know if I have the stomach for the harsh swings shorthanded play deals out but I’m going to find out today as I’m fixing to play at least 2 or 3 tables for at least 3 hours tonight. Starting hand requirements will have to go down obviously, aggression up, but I saw people will bet for you last night regardless for their cards. I wondered if some players were just racing to see who would cap the betting with nothing but naked lows and overpairs. As Felicia had mentioned in a post… value calling with the nuts on the flop/turn can be very profitable in O8, because overcalls will more then take care of the profit “missed” from raising with them. Low limit O8 players LOVE to chase that naked A2 low and some will even call down several raises to hit it.

The nut low is sexy isn’t it? All dolled up in a high cut cheerleader’s outfit, ruffled skirt showing her miles of leg with a tease of Victoria Secret on every step. The school name stretched across her over-developed chest bobs in front of you within reach. You know you’re going to finally use that four year old condom in your wallet if you can just “get there”. But when you get to her house with nothing but your nut low and stale Trojan, her quarterback boyfriend that drives a Porsche 911 is waiting with his Magnums and a high hand to take 3/4th of the pot leaving you to spank it quietly in the corner to scrambled porn again.

Getting quartered isn’t the end of the world as scrambled porn can be mildly amusing, but what if the low doesn’t get there and you get scooped? You just chased half the pot with no expectation of winning the whole thing. That’s like attending your first major league ballgame in a restricted view seat or betting the insurance wager in blackjack. The only way you’re going to win money is if your opponent concedes the hand and folds, and in low limit O8 don’t count on that happening.


Thanks for dropping by, now go forth and win many monies for the good guys, see you at the tables tonight.

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