Wednesday, January 11, 2006


My life can seem automated at times. Get up, work, go home, eat dinner, play with Little Drizz, kiss wife good night, make ass of myself online, and lose money playing poker. I enjoy my “schedule” and cherish my time I get with my family and also my friends online. Even those who have never heard of cheese curds before.

But last night I was given the green light to hit up a bar poker tournament despite feeling like ass. After downing some orange juice and some Halls (cherry flavored) cough drops I set out with my friend Burnsie to meet another friend and play some inspired donkey poker! We arrived at JCousineau’s around seven to see the poker action of 50 grizzled veterans of the Free Poker League…

… in the 3rd level of the tourney.

Thanks to our other friend J, who stated the tourney started at 7:30 (and wasn’t even at the bar), we didn’t get the chance to bust a ZZ Top look-a-like that seemed to stand up and dance around every hand he was involved with. So much for check-raising pseudo celebs off their 3rd pair.

Dejected but not defeated we hurried over to Alleygators for their Tuesday tourney. Once again players were already busting because it started 30 minutes prior to our arrival. I was even more heart-broken at the missed opportunity, for the chance to play against a pro was lost.

List the things that spell WPT-fanboi at a live table, then multiply them by 10 and you’d get this future $25NLHE PartyPoker dominator:

Mirrored Shades: Check
Ball cap listing in sharpie pen the dates of his recent “cashes” at the bar: Check
Oversized Bose headphones: Check
Free swag from an online site (actually I like swag…): Check
Huge card capper(s) (he had 4 of them, maybe he though Omaha was gonna get dealt?): Check
A scarf masking his mouth (no, he was not sick): Check
Rock-like stillness (even between hands): Check
Two minute staredowns even while folding 93o in early position: Check

What would cause someone to don I wardrobe worthy of a WSOP event?

Playing for WPT event package? WSOP buy in? Autographed picture of Otis falling at a Pai Gow table?

Nope… a bar tab, a t-shirt, and I think $50 cash (might have been more).

Which blogger do you think could crack the 1337dOOd’s fa├žade first by setting him on tilt? Al? Bobby Bracelet? Iggy? Maigrey? Hell, I would have put up a prop bet before the first hand for the first person to make him crack.

Two bar poker tourneys going on two miles from each other mid-week, and both were packed with the maximum allowed players. I don’t see the “decline” for this “fad” as the doomsayers in the news have been spewing out. Plateau it may be, but decline? Read Otis’ Pokerstars Blog to see the results of the recent PokerStars Carib. Adventure tourney and its attendance numbers and talk about decline then.


Our heroes were denied the fun company of bar poker so we hit up Mama G’s for a little Golden Tee and a light drinking night since I’m an amateur (or weekend drinker according to Al’s guide to bar patrons) and still feeling like shit. J finally shows up and doesn’t apologize for the bad poker information so we huddle around the Golden Tee machine and bullshit for a couple of hours.

At the end of the night, J said something that got me a little on tilt. “Why don’t you socialize more?” A little back story, J is over 30, he’s been out of work for several years since a car accident and lives at home still. He is not handicapped but has had addiction problems with painkillers and a back problem which can make him appear drunk at times. For years we have been trying to kick him in the ass to try to better his life by becoming more independent and stop glooming over shitty luck with a car accident.

Self-pity can be a bitch, I know from personal experience. You can’t do the things you used to, you can’t be the person you used to be, blah blah blah. After awhile you need to look in the mirror and say “I need to do something, my life is going no place”.

I did.

I went off on him about having two mortgage payments, going to work in six hours, and other responsibilities while he bitches about having to do the dishes after his mom makes dinner at night (maybe I was a little too self-rightous here). Maybe I should have been tougher, louder, because some people need to get knocked on their ass by their friends before they can get up on their own. Poker (along with blogger friends) was a portion of finding life fun again, but my dear and patient wife along with my friend Burnsie made sure I didn’t waste away into a Dark Age of Camelot playing hermit by making sure I was never without a smile and left self-pity at the door when we’d go out.

It’s fun to socialize, but its better to know your priorities, whatever those priorities may be.

Thanks for dropping by, now my priorities tonight are kicking Jordan’s ass at the DADI: Omalympics PLO8 tourney (PokerStars 8pm CST: password blogsaregay). Be there and tremble in fear of my weak-tight play.

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