You Might Be A Hold Em' Player

If you think a big wrap is something you use after entering an Amsterdam whore house… you might be a hold em’ player

If you think a doorcard is something you leave for someone after moving out and wanting to break up with them… you might be a hold em’ player

If you’re playing Razz and yell at the dealer for dealing out the flop cards… you might be a hold em’ player

If you’re down to 9 people in a Stud tournament and wonder why they have not combine down to the final table… you might be a hold em’ player

If you think snowing someone consist of something you’d see at cumguzzlers.com… you might be a hold em’ player

If you heard someone yell “goddamn bricks!” at the poker table and offered the gentlemen masonry advice… you might be a hold em’ player

If you ever tried to fold before putting out your ante and the bring-in for having the lowest doorcard… you might be a hold em’ player

If you’ve ever had Felicia scold you for sucking at poker… you might be normal

If you think Badugi is something BG puts into his pasta creations… you might be a hold em’ player

If you think “Rapping Pat” refers to Mr. Miyagi’s musical moniker before the Karate Kid came out… you might be a hold em’ player

If you think playing H.O.R.S.E. means betting the 7 Race at Belmont… you might be a hold em’ player

If you received 9999 in Omaha and at showdown and stood to shout “THEM QUADS BITCHES!”... you might be a hold em’ player

If you think Ray Zee is the new DJ at Caesars Palace’s Pure nightclub… you might be a hold em’ player

If you’re not playing in the PLO8 blogger tourney on January 11th 9pm EST at Stars (password: blogsaregay)… you might be a pussy, go sign up

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I’m ok with getting sucked out on early in a tourney. Big pocket pairs do go down to connectors and the like. I’m ok with KK running into the 38DDs of AA. I’m not ok with playing for three hours to have a three outer hit just shy of the money when I had been running very well.

Lots of have been written about not tilting after beats during tourneys, but it still irkes the shit out of me to watch dominating hands go down late in a tourney. I only played in two tourneys yesterday, forgoing my usual cash games due to lack of concentration, and got rather far in both only to watch the suckout come on the river.

If I could play that Stars $3 rebuy tourney with any regularity, I think there’s some money to be won there.

Here's what I saw last night, maybe those of you who play these tourneys regularly can add a few things:

During the rebuy period, jam with any high pocket pair (don't worry about just taking the blinds you'll get called by any random hand more then 50% of the time) pre-flop and hope your 70-90% favorite comes in.

Trap a little bit with post flop monsters and get called by someone who hit second pair. It deviates from “normal” tournament play as overbetting will get called more often then not because everyone tries to establish a stack before the rebuy period ends of more then 4x the buy in (start with T1500).

After the rebuy period ends its your basic low buy-in tourney play riddled with A-Rag push monkeys, and people with “I Like To Call-Bluff” tattooed on their foreheads. GOLD BABY GOLD! Just avoid the suckouts, or build your stack up enough to absorb a few, and you’ll see a decent payday for such a small buy in (first place took down $5.7K).


Thanks for dropping by, now check out this story courtesy of Fark.com on an unusual divorce, on the second page spells out a couple of things from their pre-nup.

"Paragraph 11: "Renzie will rub Sally's back/neck 3 times during the weekdays, and one time per weekend for a minimum of 5 minutes, but hopefully more, each time."

And to think I do this under my own free will for my wife, maybe I should seek compensation.