Tuesday, May 30, 2006

How To Play Poker With a Minnesotan

This post is picture laden for the lovely Felicia (so you'll need to visit the site to see the pictures). She couldn't understand my MinnesOOOOOOOtan garble that came out of my mouth last winter. So, I used a high-tech Steno book and ravishing red marker to create popular phrases you may hear from me at the table.

Some of these require you to understand the "inside" joke as they'll only be semi-funny to those who read here semi-regularly.


This page would be used sparingingly as I raise about as much as monk talks.

Ah, my favorite word in the poker dictionary. While at a live table its usually followed by...

AARRGGHHH! Fetch me a drink you salty wench!

Should my hand hold up and become victorious. A Viking horn may also be played.

This is for "special" players who get their pocket twos counterfeited by two pair on the board, yet feel compelled to cap the river.

Too much Hold Em' gets me antsy for a game of nut-peddling! That and I suck at Hold Em'.

Shoving pre-flop in PLO8 is akin to playing Red or Black on a roulette wheel with Robert Redford in the background checking out your wife. Might as well give yourself the best chance to win.

The truth is hard to take. Time to go take up the Professional Galaga/Ms. Pac-Man/Skee-Ball circuit at your nearest Chuck E Cheese.

Phrase from -EV, Nines are just as good as Aces right?

Boy you really got me by playing that 94o for the runner-runner four flush! Next time I'll beat you senseless with my card capper and we'll call it even, deal?

These two are usually brought forth upon getting to the point in a tournament where I need to take a coinflip to move on. For those slot junkies out there... the new Powerball slots are really super-cool!

Still dragging ass today as Wyatt has a fever but refuses to take the chewable Tylenol that we got for him, meaning not much sleep for the missus and I. Tonight, I forsee missing the ball completely playing adult co-ed t-ball. Hopefully embarrassment will be kept to a minimum or we play a team of fish eyed cripples that allow my suck-a-tude to look good.

Thanks for dropping by, now its back to work! Whoo-whoo!


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