I don't have "it".
Whatever winning poker players have that they can stand the losses, I can't do it.
For five months I have watched pots shift in the opposite direction and I have nothing to show for it except a bunch of elementary school whines about "money in with the best of it".
There is no "cure" for losing. I could read all the books, study, whatever the fuck I'm supposed to do to improve. The game has its winners and its losers.
I'm the loser.
I'm the guy you say "sorry" to. I'm the guy you say "LOLOLOL OMG YOU GOT PWNED ON THE RIVER!". I'm the guy that you will win that coin flip against. I can't handle my emotions, therefore I will never be a profitable poker player.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be back and have a fresh mind ready to donate more money, but why bother? This type of post will just pop up again with different words saying the same fuckin thing a few days from now. Yes, its unproductive negative thinking but what's the point when you do nothing but lose every night.
People say "it will turn around", "don't worry". Really? Five fuckin months of this and I'm supposed to be positive about a good swing in variance?
Its not variance, its me, I'm the problem. I need help, not condolences.
I have zero ego, so if you've watched me play, please beat the shit out of my game and offer any advice. FYI, I've tried playing all the different "games" LAG, TAG, Maniac, Weak/Tight, etc...
I am numb to "beats" to the point that I can't get out of this "oh no here we go again" attitude before the river card falls. Again if you have the fortitude to withstand five months of losing, more the power to you, I wish I had your strength.
I am not a snowflake in the losing regards, I know that. But the "why me's" and "why bother" have overtaken any attempts I've made to return to my winning ways that I enjoyed last year.
Sorry for the negative attitude, but I really was hoping I could finally start posting about enjoying the positive aspects of the game again or "guess who's going to Vegas in July!!!".
Its not happening, five months is beyond any streak that I ever imagined.