Thursday, June 18, 2009

Jon minus Kate

I watch Jon and Kate Plus 8.

Not a rabid fan, nor do I hold the past episodes in DVD but I'll watch it once in a while with the wife. One thing that strikes me about the show is how demeaning and dominating Kate is to Jon versus trying enjoying the little baseball team minus one which should be the focus of the show.

Her compliments to Jon are rare and only when she is the direct beneficiary of his actions. And when he does the smallest thing to annoy Kate? Blow up out of proportion, much like in a recent episode with the family receiving some kick ass bikes from the American Chopper guys. Now, the stories about how Jon may have cheated on his TV/real life wife and the various newstand gossip rags are directing their wraith towards the bad-boy Jon.

If he did it, they're correct.

True, he is in a bad relationship. True, the woman is a self-centered shrill. True, the pressures of the papparazzi honing their Nikons on every drink he sips at a corner bar away from the bright lights could have gotten to him. Despite running a household with eight kids (only 23 less than Mookie and JJ by the way) he comes off as well-adjusted to the pressure cooker family they've created.

In the past I was in a similar situation, torn between my love for a woman and her facade of maritial bliss which really hid her true emotions (which were let out routinely in public and at home). At recess or lunch hour you'd call it "whipped" and I was, blindly led around by my infatuation for her, there were no discussion when I'd take a mental beating from not parking the car perfectly or forgetting something from a grocery list.

Leaving wasn't an option as I saw something beneath the veener of her near sociopathic behavior towards myself. Instead of picking up and leaving, I searched to find my wife, and she in turn chipped through the thin wood as we both tried out this thing called marriage where its my belief that the couple should try work these things out until you get to a point of no return and go on your separate ways.

Yelling, tears, hurtful truths came out but each time the next day became a little easier to wake up to a good morning kiss that meant more than just a routine before slapping on our clothes for work. It could be the hearing aids, it could be getting vertical again from my head injury, it could be her new found interest in going out with friends and family. But, there's a mutual respect that wasn't been there in a while that is slowly seeping into our once broken household, as I in turn find more things to love about her when I can feel no guilt from visiting friends in other states or working for PokerStarsBlog.

While I can see a person like Jon doing what he is being battered for in the press, his options besides running into the bed of someone other than his wife is a discredit to her though. If you don't like the relationship and don't have an "open" one, then cheating on her is cheating on yourself no matter how much of a complete bitch she is. At this point those two are on camera as a couple for the money. Period. Which makes the show unwatchable this year, as it takes the reality out of the reality show and puts in two cardboard figures acting as husband, wife, and parents. Instead you get two poorly trained actors trying to squeeze an extra dime out of TLC, the crowd and general DVD buying public.

Of course I realize my situation is far different to that of Jon's, as my wife's attempts to better herself and our marriage in recent times has woken me up to the fact that instead of sitting around and playing victim I need to get off my well-manicured ass and improve my life as well.

Remember the question I asked here? I think I answered it. Thank you Kari. My hopes are someday we'll get back to seeing each other for the first time on a softball field, with a blank mental slate and just enjoy being around each other again.

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