Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Better Then Giving a Toaster

If you're planning to play at Pauly's game on Stars tonight, DVR the Golden Girls marathon for once and play.

Do it for the kids.

Do it because you wouldn't want your wife (husband) to look at you like you just told her (him) that your anus is feeling a bit raw after using an Adam and Eve anniversary intimate bonus pack last night while standing next to your mother-in-law and daycare provider.

Do it to give me chips and award me an 8th wedding anniversary gift (yes, hard to believe).

Do it after going to read the latest issue of Truckin'

Truckin' - August 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 8Welcome back to another summer issue of Truckin'

.1. Even More Existentialist Conversations with Strippers by Paul McGuire On the third day of Prozac? That pretty much summed up my visit to the afternoon shift. The stripper was drunk, sedated on happy pills, sloppy, and slurring her speech like Albert Finney at happy hour... More

2. Explaining Amphetamines With Words by Sean A. Lovelace See the thing is an injection is a lot like a bullet from a gun, or words of anger, or like kisses—you can't get it back. And that Valium was working, working its way through his body, his veins, slowing things down, slowing, his pulse, his already pretty-fucking-slow pulse, and then he was, he was, well, he was dead... More

3. Black Hole Sun By Betty Underground I couldn't get her face out of my head. Blank and full of jealousy. Not directed at me, but me as part of the female species. As a representative of the sex that threatened her the most... More

4. Separate From Things We Didn't Want A Part Of by Philip D. Brown My friend fell asleep but the girl didn't and though it was dark I could see her watching me. She didn't look capable of sleep or even rest so I told her that I could help. She told me that needles were out of the question because they were an invasion she wasn't willing to accept... More

5. Capistrano By Brad Willis If the doctor says I'm living, he obviously is lying or seriously misguided. If he tells me I'm living, I'm going to laugh and tell him he better get busy dying for me, because somebody fucking has to... More

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