Wednesday, July 27, 2005

100 Things You Wish You Didn't Know About The Author

I've been putting this list off because I'm a lazy but carrying 160 pounds of rock salt across a supermarket parking lot woke me up this morning!

1) I'm 6'4" and have stopped growing vertically since I was 25, laterally on the other hand....
2) I could eat a McGriddle for breakfast, Leeann Chin's seasame chicken w/cream cheese puffs for lunch, and Angeno's tortellini with alfredo sauce and shrimp (don't forget the oversized cheese bread) every day and never get sick of it
3) I am high-pitched deaf in both ears, which is the reason for my lisping sometimes, can't pronounce what you can't hear
4) I had a surgery to clip the ligament connecting the tongue to the bottom of my mouth to help me speak more clearly (if really want to see, its pretty gross), this does have its... um advantages though
5) I was born and raised in Minnesota and will probably die here as well. What can I say, I love a place that you can get sunburnt and frostbiten all in the same day!
6) I lived in Arizona for one year while attending Arizona State University
7) I moved back to Minnesota due to my roommates and lack of self-esteem at the time, not the college, and not the weather (maybe a self-pity post sometime in the future)
8) There's a scar between my chin and cheek from a dog bite I got in junior high school, after the 15 stitches to my face and 8 stitches to my neck the doctor said there would be no scar (thanks doc!)
9) Number 9 is my most favorite number in the whole wide world, I will play 99 at the poker table like aces
10) I dislike dogs and am generally afraid of them due to being bitten by "non-aggressive" dogs (according to their owners) four times
11) I have fallen in love three times in my life, luckily I live with one of them
12) My favorite authors are Stephen King, John Sanford, and R.A. Salvatore
13) I have hit a golf ball 400 yards, a softball 400 feet but for the life of me I can't hit a jump shot to save my life
14) I used to play Class "C" USSSA softball and Class "A/AA" USVBA volleyball every single night during the summer and can still play at a competitive level but choose to spent time with the family now
15) Five years ago I got hurt at work, causing seizures and various unknown neurological problems that still hinder me today
16) I scored a 9 on the English part of my ACT test and was told I had to re-take the test at ASU the day before Freshman Comp started I needed a 20 to pass to prevent taking a remidal course. I scored a 20 by one question while hungover after drinking for two weeks straight at the dorms.
17) I have one brother and one sister and they both still live within 20 minutes of my house which is 2 minutes from where we all grew up
18) My HS girlfriend committed suicide two weeks after I started college (we were broken up several month prior to this)
19) Even though I love computers and video games, I am tone-deaf stupid while using them and other electronic "gadgets"... hence the iDiot comment yesterday
20) I will kick your ass at Galaga, Ms. Pac-Man, and Pinball, if I offer a wager in an arcade, walk away
21) My fat cat's name is Garfunkel (Funky for short), Simon is owned by my sister-in-law who's married to my best friend Burnsie
22) I'll eat corn and peas, any other veggies are not allowed to be on my plate
23) I have used the wrong bathroom by accident in public places more then once, women's bathrooms are sooooooooo much nicer
24) I have gambled for 24 hours straight, taken a college final exam, then headed back to the casino (90 minute drive... if you're driving just a little over the speed limit)
25) Due to the work accident I cannot spell any word (numbers are fine) backwards without seizing up
26) My favorite sports memories: Throwing a no-hitter in high school and scoring the winning goal for district finals in triple overtime in hockey
27) I have worked for the same company for 12 years and do not plan on leaving
28) I do not have a driver's license any longer
29) I will be celebrating my fifth wedding anniversary next week, our son was born two days after our third anniversary
30) If I match my shirt with my pants and put on two socks that match its a good day, whatever the opposite of Metrosexual is, that's me
31) After getting a "C" in a ninth grade Art class in Jr. High I quit worrying about my grades (I was a straight "A" student prior to this), I am NOT an artistic person but deeply in respect of those who can paint/draw
32) I switched HS English classes so I could watch Star Trek and Dirty Dancing for class assignments instead of reading/learning Shakespeare (watching Blade Runner at home was the final exam my senior year)
33) Don't ever try to feed me a cold sandwich, ever
34) 80's and some 90's metal and hair band music is the best, to say otherwise is demented
35) I have sold a character on Dark Age of Camelot to start what is now my poker bankroll, that character even a year+ without being played is still the highest ranked in his class on his server
36) I used to play Dark Age of Camelot for 12 hours straight without even blinking, and feel sorry for the damage it did to my marriage and social life
37) There are three things I will do before I die: Play at the WSOP, Visit Germany during Oktoberfest, and see a match at Wimbledon in person (hopefully Centre Court)
38) I once faked being sick for a week to watch Wimbledon at home on HBO
39) Lindsay Lohan will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine [/Wayne's World]
40) I like to fish but can't tie a hook to save my life
41) Ron White, Denis Leary, and Sam Kinison make me laugh
42) Somedays I just can't relax, even while fishing or on a golf course, give me a drink on these days
43) I will drink any alcoholic beverage with one exception no Pepper Vodka and/or Tomato Juice
44) My favorite drink is Captain Morgan and Coke, a close second is an Amaretto Sour
45) I am a hard worker, getting motivated to start working is a different story though
46) Despite a screwed up shoulder I can still throw an 80+ mph fastball, and I once tried out for the Pittsburgh Pirates
47) I have one ultimate fear in my life, I do not want to outlive my son or any future spawns
48) Do not ask me to use a tool and fix something, I will look at you like you're speaking Greek and possibly laugh at you
49) I will help you lift, carry, or stack anything just don't ask me to put together a desk or home entertainment system
50) In college I worked at Jack In The Box for three days, spilling hot coffee on myself was the last straw
51) I am the only person to talk back to my wife while she managed the kitchen at a nursing home, other workers stood there with the mouths open in amazement. She was being a bitch and I let her know that
52) My HS baseball coach had to add 15 pounds to my listing on the state baseball tournament program because 120 pounds at 6'2" seemed a little too skinny
53) The sexiest thing in the world is a woman wearing nothing but a long jersey or t-shirt with her hair down
54) On reflective days I wonder what life would be like if I'd had made just two different decisions or not been such a sex-crazed idiot in high school and college
55) I have cried during movies
56) My dream car is a midnight blue Stingray Corvette (unfortunately I'd need auto transmission because I'm a tard who can't drive a stick)
57) I can cook an awesome breakfast, but due to the wife I've never attempted lunch or dinner besides things that can be unwrapped and thrown into the microwave, being corrected with every measuring and ingredient added makes me give up
58) I pimped out my 85' Nova compact in HS with 2X12" subwoofers, tweeters, and a couple of amps and thought I was cool
59) My eyesight is 220/20 in one eye and not much better in the other, my glasses are a patented thrill ride if you've been drinking
60) I once drove off the side of a large hill ala Dukes of Hazard style when I misjudged a county road in Wisconsin, going 70 mph, my passengers were not amused but the people driving behind us were!
61) I put Triscuits on my bridal/groomal?? registry list (we got six boxes) and my wife had her "practice" bouquet made out of them... I like Triscuits a lot (not those fat-free or "cheese" flavored ones though)
62) Things that must be eaten at the Minnesota State Fair... Cheese curds, deep fried oreos, funnel cake, box of freshly made french fries, and a chocolate malt from the Kiwanis club
63) I once took my HS girlfriend to the state fair after ear surgery with my ears wrapped up in bandages, it was not a fun time since I was basically deaf from all the blood drainage
64) If progressive height continues in my family Little Drizz will be around 6'8"
65) I have only dated women that are over 6' tall or shorter then 5'3"
66) I find watching idiots while my wife shops to be therapeutic and educational, otherwise I'd never go with her
67) My biggest pet peeve in the world is... taking food off my plate. If you want to see how quick I can backhand your face, just try to take that BW3's teriyaki wing off my plate, I dare you
68) When I retire, I plan on living close to a casino to become one of those crabby old rocks at the $2/$4 poker table with my "Where's My Damn Senior Discount" t-shirt tucked into my golf pants that are pulled up to my moobs (while sipping on a Cap'nCoke of course)
69) Gotta put something sexual here... three women I'd most want to have sex with Lindsay Lohan, Gaberielle Reece, and Christy Canyon
70) Never ask me to wrap a birthday or Christmas present, I will go from happy to pissed off dickhead in .3 seconds after trying to apply wrapping paper to a gift. That's what tissue paper and gift bags were invented for
71) I will sit and watch any poker show that graces the TV, even if I've seen it 10,000 times
72) My favorite movies are Rounders, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and Tombstone (yes Little Drizz got his name from a particular law man in this movie)
73) Drizztdj is two parts Drizzt and dj: Drizzt is a drow ranger famous in the Forgotten Realms books and since there's 10 million other Drizzt fanbois in the MMORPG world, I added my first and middle name as initials on the end
74) I am an extremely competitive person and will get pissed at myself if I'm playing a sport and not performing well... unless I've been drinking which I did before any volleyball tourney to loosen the fuck up
75) I once bowled 11 out of 12 strikes in a league game despite barely being able to see or walk straight, two for ones kick my ass
76) I cashed in my first ever live poker tournament at Canterbury four years ago. It was a 7-CARD STUD tourney with 120 people in it (only the final table cashed)
77) You can call me Dave, David, Drizz, drunken idiot, dumbass calling all-in with 99... if you call me Davey I will punch you in the mouth and tell you about the nasty things I did to your mother last night
78) I can still hit a quick spike straight down before the 10 foot line
79) I have big ears and big feet, clown jokes are acceptable since there's nothing I can do about it
80) My happy place is any bridge overlooking the Vegas strip just watching the cars, casinos, and porn slappers
81) Reading to my son is a very relaxing, taking him to a restaurant is not
82) The Frontier is the WORST (even worst then the Plaza) hotel I've stayed in while visting Vegas (I've been there once or twice every year for 8 years, different hotel everytime).
83) Poker bloggers are the best people I've met outside of my tight group of friends, and I can't wait till we all meet again
84) Despite my rantings, the wife makes me a better person and I love her for it
85) I once stopped during a 10K race to let my friends catch up so we could all finish together (I was leading by a wide margin at the time)
86) I quit smoking eight years ago, but love smoking a cigar once in awhile
87) I danced with more women during my bachelor party then I have at any point in my life, I just wish I could remember what else I did
88) Vodka Lime Coolers are made from Ecto Cooler Hi-C, Vodka, 7up, and a little bit of sour, I can't list it as a favorite drink since they don't make Ecto Cooler Hi-C anymore
89) My father has worked for Otis Elevator for over 30 years and is a 3rd generation Marine (I'd be a 4th but something tells me I'm not cut out for military life)
90) My mother is a homemaker who gave me the gambling gene, if there's a chance to go to the casino she's there day or night
91) I got my one and only speeding ticket while bringing my mom home from Mystic Lake at 3am while in college
92) I broke my hand while in Myrtle Beach, SC hitting a video game (it was one of those punching bag games), I missed the Senior Babe Ruth State Tournament because of it after hitting .479 and going 7-1 on the hill during the season. The team was not happy and I didn't get to spend more time with the hot brunette I'd picked up
93) My favorite sport teams are all from Minnesota except I'm not much of a basketball fan
94) Peppermint Bon-Bon ice cream is divine! But if its vanilla I politely request honey roasted peanuts with carmel and hot fudge on it
95) Hearing about our still-birth is the worst thing that's ever happened to me
96) If you say the words politics, liberal, conservatives, or any other politicano lingo I will cease listening to you. I don't understand, nor want to understand how politics work, yes I voted for Jesse Ventura
97) I feel guilty not going to church more often, but don't really see a reason to go
98) NTN Trivia makes me drink more then I should
99) Despite working in a professional office I wear a hat and sunglasses due to the accident, kinda hinders me during interviews
100) I once drank 8 different alcohols and 3 different mixers together on a dare. We called the drink "Tar Spit"

Ok, now that you know the man behind the curtains please don't be too freaked out if I'm walking on the same side of the street as you :P

No comments: