Sunday, August 21, 2005

And Good Morning To You Sir!

I'm a little sick this morning so bear with me as I type letters into words onto this page for your viewing pleasure.

Had a decent weekend up north as I finally got some rest in and played a little live poker at Grand Casino Hinckley. Once again I failed at life and lost at the $2/$4 tables. Folding for three straight hours was quite fun as I tried a new technique of returning the cards to the dealer each time she'd deal me 84o or T3s again. The underhanded wrist flick, the overhanded wrist flick, the pointy-finger-making-the-cards-flip-up-and-piss-off-the-guy-looking-for-a-set trick (this one is a crowd pleaser, try it at your next home game!). I was up nearly 10BBs after the first hour when I caught set and turned a boat and got called down. Similar happenings with pockets aces rivering a set to suckout on 93o that called three bets cold pre-flop and turned two pair. Sorry buddy, aces win once in a while, I got lucky and be sure to remind me of this for the next two hours. Thanks!

Then I went card dead.

Cold decked even in Minnesota where we play numbered blocks of ice and ante up different game fish as checks.

As stated previously I folded for almost three hours... most playable hand in this time? ATs. Folded in LP due to being capped pre-flopped for the first time (AA vs. KK vs. T4s). So what did I do to amuse myself besides ogle at the cute, bespeckled drinks chick? Play blind! I figured if I can't win by playing decent starting cards, why not have fun playing blind? 64s? Trip fours are gOOt against Jacks. 69o? Sex-a-liciously overpowering compared to suited big slick. Three hours, two pots, both won playing blind.

I did manage to look down at AJs and tried to get fancy by raising pre-flop and got one caller (same doofus playing T4s capped...). 8 5 2 rainbow, I bet he calls. 6 on the turn completing the rainbow, I bet he calls. River T, I check, he checks and slowrolls the powerful T3s. Of course he starts a discussion of implied odds and how he check raised his grandma off a set during his home game that he crushes with regularity.

Unfortunately I didn't have the patience after three hours of getting cold decked to wait him out but playing live for an extended time was AWESOME. The people at the table were interesting and fun to watch:

- The internet/hyper serious guy who'd get pissed when he couldn't get away from that Ace-rag then asked for daddy to reload him because we were a bunch of fish (he went through 3 buy-ins).

- The 85 year old grandma who stayed in any pot with any two and lost graciously

- The old guy who needed a Hubble telescope to see his set of Jacks was good (and chewed on his glasses everytime he had a hand)

- The old ladies/sharks who knew what they were doing and had some stories about playing at the Golden Nugget before the renovation.

For the 7BBs I ended up losing, it was well worth the entertainment. This Thursday at Canterbury though... I'm out to make money or at least not lose the rest of my depleting monopoly money stash I keep around at home.


Happy about the most recent trip to the cabin I came home to read this e-mail vomit from Empire Poker where the motto is: Don't Like Our Rules? Go Fuck Yourself!

Dear Drizztdj,

While approving a cashout request of yours we see that you are cashing out an amount transferred to you by another player on our website via the Inter-Account Transfer feature. Please note that the Inter-Account Transfer feature is a privilege for all Real Money Account Holders who wish to help their friends on the site who go broke, or want to convert Play Money Players to play for Real Money. Using this feature for any purpose other than those mentioned above is not encouraged, so please write back to us with a clarification about the same for us to verify the cashout. We thank you in advance for your cooperation and patience.


Well Dinesh, I'm glad you took the time to copy and paste this regurgitation and send it my way. I had Little Drizz reply since I'm sure his grasp on the English language is about the same as yours.

Dearest DineshTK,

Choo-Choo, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Play, outside outside outside, drink, CHOO-CHOO!! Green GO GO GO GO! Daddy Daddy!! Arf Arf! Nana! Cookie! NOOOOOO SEEP! PLAY! MOVIE! One, Two, Thirteen! TWEET! TWEET!!

Sincerely and forever yours,

Little Drizz

Its my money, I'll do whatever the fuck I want with it OK? It wasn't thousands of dollars, it was a transfer favor for an up-and-coming player who needed some cash on Stars. I don't feel I need to justify a reason why I don't want to play on a Party-skin at this particular moment.


Who the hell woke up the Twinkies? Granted they're still way behind, but at least they're hitting more then pop ups. I'll go back into non-watching exile now.


Thanks for dropping by, now if you ever wanted a Scotch-Egg-On-A-Stick you can find it with ease! Yes, every Minnesotan goes to the state fair despite it being the same tractors, same 800 pound pig, and same artery clogging food every year. I will be attending on Friday, just look for the tall white guy toting around a kid with a bucket on his head. See ya at the Fair!

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