Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Tournament Tilt

I got this joke via email this morning and the "trained professional" represents the average tournament player I've been losing my money to. Or maybe I'm the trained professional and just can't get my head out of my ass to realize it.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage
area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told
the lady attendant there that my bags never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she
was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

For the life of me, I can't seem to cash in my lottery err.... poker tournament tickets.

Coin flip? Still 0 for the last 6 months. Maybe variance is saving them up for me to make a run in the WSOP Main Event in 2127.

3:1 favorite? Start begging the screen to have mercy on my tortured soul.

5:1 favorite? Two-outer is coming, better hide the cat and anything else that can be thrown.

15:1 favorite? I re-did the extra bedroom to mimic a psych ward's "quiet room".

Why do I keep playing in this damn things? Little risk for a big reward. The pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow next to the leprechaun that will grant you three wishes. And maybe gives you a cool marshmallow that changes color in milk!

Yes, I'm whining. Just like I would be estatically recapping how I crushed the competition by skillfully avoiding all coin flips and only winning on big favorites and suckouts if I'd finally won something. I can't help but be envious about hearing friends winning and placing high in tournaments. I'm very happy for their success and which probably proves since I haven't shared that degree of success that I'm doing something wrong.

Or I just suck.

I'm leaning towards suck.

Just swear off tourneys? Wouldn't be that hard to since I really don't have the time to play 3-4 hours during the week. Plus, I could save myself a few blood pressure points and useless whining after yet another high pocket pair falls to Ace-rag. Any tournament players out there besides Joanne and PokerNerd who have churning out cash after cash, experienced the dry spell longer then a 40 year old virgin (movie reviews anyone)? Please let me know I'm not alone. Or at least tell me how I need to cash out everything and take my ball and go home because if I haven't gotten it by now, I'm never going to get it. That would be your cue Felicia :)

Forgive me dear reader or two, this is a bitch session and I'm having very serious thoughts about going back to mindless bonus grinding for two reasons:

1) Profitablity, I made money every month I was bonus whoring regardless of some red ink on PokerTracker. With the WPBT event in December I need some cash for the trip, and even more for the side prop bets that are sure to pop up.

2) Ego, I have one and after 5 months of shitty tournament results and break-even cash game results (except NLO8) its pretty clear I can't play these profitably. I should have seen at least a couple of final tables by now, maybe even a win.

It takes a lot for me to give up on something, and I can read and study all the books in the world but when you get your money in as the favorite over and over and over yet still lose, its taxing to someone with my patience. Stop laughing. :)

I don't know what I've done to anger the gods, but I'm beginning to feel like Sisyphus and the boulder is tournament poker.

I push the rock uphill with knowledge gained through books, playing, and fellow players. Yet, it continues to fall back down through various means. I should have seen some improvement by now, right?

Do I need some kind of ancient Greek ceremony in the backyard and sacrifice a pack of KEM cards while dancing around with a PartyPoker shirt on?

I'm babbling here, and I know it, but I had to get it out before I plunge back into donating money to a tournament pool.

Thanks Easycure and THG for tilting with me on the Stars O8 tables. Pair draws in Omaha are gold!!!

Wax on, wax off, breathe in, breathe out, must use whole body to punch HE-YEA! Yes, Mr. Miyagi, I hit like a girl, maybe I'll have Ali (with an I) show me how to take down Johnny and his Corba-kai underlings.

I think I need to lay off the allergy medicine or watch some good porn.

That's a enough "writing" for one day.

Thanks for dropping by, now go check out Pauly's latest adventure as he finished much higher then I in last night's MTT on Noble despite taking a wicked beat. I foresee a big cash for him soon.

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