Monday, February 13, 2006

Ramble Rumble

Dear Players Club Customer Service,

I recently received an offer in the mail for a reduced room rate at your casino and decided to take you up on the offer. But unfortunately I was told this morning that there are no rooms available on the February 16th date that me and my family wanted to visit.

Could I be contacted should a room become available, or possibly receive the same rate at one of your other hotels should they have an opening?

Thank you in advance for your considerations.

This was a short email I sent to Grand Casino Hinckley after being told there were no rooms available for President’s Day weekend. Ah, the power of the electronic pen was realized when my wife answered the phone on Saturday morning and a room at one of their hotels (they have three) just happened to “open up”. I’m definitely not in Grubby’s realm of procuring casino comps, but I guess I spent enough trips (and penny slots dollars) there while going up to my cabin for “preferred” treatment. Thursday night may mean getting there in time for one of their poker tournaments and you my dear reader or two will get to hear my whinny bust-out story on Friday!

Poker has continued to remain in the black for February as I had another successful weekend at the PLO8 tables on PokerStars and Party. Yes, I have been playing at Party. Despite the hokey graphics, horrible customer service, and those stupid side bets/blackjack buttons, its still a decent place to find a hold em’ player wandering into the Omaha pool. How can you spot a Hold Em’ player at an Omaha table? (actual quotes taken from the cash games this weekend)

First Clue: “Of course, only I could lose to Quads”

This is after getting his flop bet pot-raised and turn bet re-raised all-in on a board of 5 6 9 9 Q. Obviously you can’t be so gun-shy that you’d assume the other guy has quads, but when you’re holding KK56 in Omaha 8-or-better and someone bets the pot on the flop he is telling you one of four things:

1) I have a straight, please lay your hand down and don’t draw out the low on me
2) I flopped a set, please don’t have the straight, I might cry if the board doesn’t pair
3) I have a low only wrap draw (keep these people on your buddy list as drawing to half the pot is the biggest mistake you can make in PLO8).
4) Dude, what the fuck are you playing KK56 anywhere besides the blinds

Second Clue: “Only I could lose with Aces”

Here’s a hint to those not familiar with Omaha…. POCKET ACES ARE NOT THAT GREAT IN OMAHA ESPECIALLY IN O8. But but but Aces are the best starting hand in “poker”! Yes, and I’m sorry that my straight plus a nut low “got there”, but keep bettin those aces sir, one pair is gold! Omaha is all about drawing, having draws, having re-draws, and then drawing again after your done drawing. There’s more drawing in a game of Omaha then you’d find at the Louvre. Always. Be. Drawing. (this will be repeated over and over in many of my “strategy” posts). Yes, there are times you SHOULD bet that two pair, or bluff at a dangerous board when someone stops betting after they have been slamming the pot bet button harder then a stunt dick in a double penetration scene for Vivid videos. Ok I grossed myself out there. But for the beginner, if someone bets the pot at a dangerous board, 9 times out of 10, they’ll have it (or have a big draw), back off and wait for the next hand.

Last Clue: “LOLOLOLOL nice drawing dikhed, wtf u cal wit that crap 4”

No one is immune to saying the above but if you’re reading here the AOL-speak comment may confuzzle you. Most likely you would say the above in a calmer tone with more like real words and stuff. I’ve borrowed from Felicia the “nice hand sir” comment when someone’s runner-runner gets there and they had no business staying in the hand. But when you have 15+ outs, and most of them to the nuts (that is an important factor, when in doubt, draw to the nuts or not at all) you SHOULD call that raise even though you are probably behind at the moment.

Ok, no more stupid advice on a “non-poker” games. One of these days I vow to actually become competent at all of poker’s variations but for now I’ll have to settle for being a student of the game that makes some side cash after selling plasma and sperm every other week.


Anyone watching the Olympics?

I said I wouldn’t watch but DAMN, dudes going 85 m.p.h. on a sled is exciting to me! Hell, even the cross-country skiing competition got my attention. Who won’t be glued to the set during the Curling matches?!?!? Sorry no sarcasm today, I enjoy watching all of the winter sports… except Snowboarding.

What a useless piece of bong resin. Stoned out duuuuuuude flip thru the air to be judged in a way only figure skating judges can figure out. And we know from the last Olympics how “fair” those judges can be.

The snowboard races from the X-Games on ESPN?


2880 (that’s 8 circles for the Geometric deficient) front fakey jimmy flip with a blaze out but only getting a 5.2 from the Japanese judge? Not-so-awesome. I’ll take Eddie the Eagle landing 500 feet behind everyone else in the ski jumping competition over any sport that relies on someone else’s opinion to determine a winner. How would you like it if someone came up to your poker tournament table and said “the 9 seat’s hand looked much more pretty after the turn, despite your rivered nut flush we are going to award him the pot”.

Great “sport” sir.

Thanks for dropping by, now I must retreat back to my bite size cubical so I can listen to my neighbor hack up a lung for the next 9 hours. Happy Monday!!!

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