Working Nine to Five

*cracks fingers*

Nothing like a four day weekend to get refreshed. I try to plan my personal days with my wife’s schedule so we have similar days off and she doesn’t have to get up at 5am to drive my handi-capable ass to work. Since the schools got to stay home and watch women’s curling on CNBC, I thought I’d take the day off as well.

Canadian women’s curling team… hot

Thursday I visited Grand Casino Hinckley with great expectations of becoming a thousand-aire by plunking down my hardly earned poker money into Slotski, Mr. Cashman, and Monopoly penny and nickel slots.

I didn’t win. In fact I came very close to taking my whole home bankroll to the high stakes blackjack area to blow the rest of the monies that I brought. Slot tilt is a powerful thing, beware of the warning signs such as: Drinking your 15th cup of free lemonade without using a restroom, cursing that stupid cartoon for not landing on the big bonus loud enough to make people cash out and walk away, and hitting on blue haired ladies smoking a Parliament while discussing the house band’s last number (the band was pretty good).

I did manage to break my conversation with Estelle Getty long enough to hit up the poker room for some games of the two card variety. My request for an Omaha 8 or better game was met with squinty eyes and a slight chuckle. After inquiring about the four card game with the brush and five of the dealers, in the course of a year only one of them has even dealt it. So much for check-raising douche bag ice fishermen with nut nut hands. I did manage to sit down at a table where I was the youngest player by 20 years (I’m 31 years young by the way). Of course my immediate read on everyone was rock, rock, rock, and a column of slate at end of the table. Fortunately they all disappointed me, as AK unimproved was called to the river multiple times, runner runner straights and flushes were common, and third pair was GOLD JERRY GOLD! Not really exciting poker when you bet when get a good hand and must fold when you don’t, and bluffing was a worst gambling proposition then tossing $200 into penny slots (but we won’t mention people who do that). I made my profit of $30 for my little two hour session in two hands 64o and 65sOOted. But, the grumpy old men hardly looked up from their coffee when I raked in the two decent size pots.

The trip wasn’t all gambling as I got to take Little Drizz swimming in a pool that gave all three of us a slight chemical rash (which washed off in the shower), that was enjoyable. And of course we spent some time playing skee-ball and earning tickets in the arcade to try to get the stuffed SpongeBob SquarePants he’s had his eye on. Fourteen bucks for the room (with tax) made the trip a bargain (despite my donation to the Indian Reservation via Mr. Cashman slots).

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The rest of the weekend was spent relaxing, sipping on Cap’n Cokes, and watching the Olympics on my broken HDTV set (repairman coming today). Bode Miller? Well played sir. Women’s Hockey team? Tough loss. Women’s Curling? Its better then the pseudo-porn on Spike TVs informericals in the morning, the captain of the Canadian team looks like the hot teacher you always wondered if she was really a stripper on her off-days. Yum. And who doesn’t like attractive women shouting “HARDER!!!” at you.

Despite SOME PEOPLE *cough* Otis *cough* not enjoying the Olympics, I loved watching these athletes jump, shoot, ski, and skate their ways towards a metal donut. Granted the “scoring” events need to get the fuck out and be replaced with more definitive rules (i.e. Snowboarding, get rid of the half pipe and add more of the downhill racing events, maybe a slalom-type event). And no more “Olympic Ice” and Shani Davis’ whining about being oppressed. I don’t know the whole story about his personal vendetta against US Speedskating, or the rest of the Speedskating team but you’re representing your country, think about that before spewing off in front of a camera RIGHT AFTER WINNING A MEDAL. He made Barry Bonds and Phil Helmuth seem downright bashful.

I did manage little profitable poker this weekend, including a cash in a $22 LO8 MTT on Stars, one beat away from a final table, but it wasn’t meant to be. Since getting back to the PLO8 cash games, my bankroll continues in a direction toward mediocrity again. Hopefully with a few more good months I can plan for invading the WSOP again. Now if someone could please provide me with the mental strength to hop back into the Full Tilt ring games, I would appreciate it. I miss playing there on a regular basis, as I’m still a bit gun-shy due to some nasty losses last month. If you have the +5 Tonic of Anti-Suckout I’ll exchange it for my +3 Staff of Scooped Pots.

Thanks for dropping by, now check out this item if you’re having trouble waking up in the morning. *As found in FHM Magazine* (I read it for the articles!!!!)

And if you're not following Pauly's Live Blogging of the LA Classic in Junk-grabbing land, you just don't like life much do you. Click on over there!!

Late addition after reading SirWaffle's blog... can you say PWNED? This arguement is up for debate though...