Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Dr. Jekyll and Missing Hyde

The glass is still half-full after last night.

In the two bad losses of the year (Cards and Panthers) the Vikes showed their ineptitude for the entire game. Last night they did that a for half, then came out and fought tooth and nail for the second half. On the road. Outdoors. In the cold.

They should have lost on the second Bears score in the 2nd half, but rallied down the field for a score with 8 seconds left. #reasonforoptimism if I were to hash it on Twitter. The team could have rolled over and died along with its purid first half "effort" that looked like a dress rehearsal for the football version of the Bad News Bears. Think Chilly wouldn't make a decent Buttermaker with a Coleman cooler of Schlitz in his hand giving the team pointers on proper beard grooming techniques?

Even down 16-0 in the first half, I girly-chatted with one of the many suddenly very interested Eagles fans and thought the Vikes would still win the game, but not cover the spread. They didn't of course, but again, at least they gave an effort in the second half unseen in the bad losses to Arizona and Carolina. Something to grow on? Yes. Another reason to line Purple Jesus' gloves with rubber cement? Please do. The kid with the iron tight handshake and ability to fumble like there's a contract stipulation for it baffles even the biggest homer of a Vikings fan. How can someone who can crush every bone in your hand with minimal effort hold on to a football?

From what I've seen, most of these fumbles occur when PJ tries to eek out 1 or 2 more useless yards by staying inbounds and gets stripped while being stood-up or poked out on the way down. Whatever it is, it isn't going to stop. No amount of coaching is going to stop the kid from his I-will-run-thru-a-brick-wall-for-an-extra-inch running mentality.

The defense should also bolster a big part of the blame as their pass rush has reverted to 2006's version without the stiffling run D. Jared Allen has been a non-factor thanks to double teams (awesome quote from the mulleted one: “If I could cuss right now, I would. … I mean, we’re playing bad right now. We’ve got to play better”. Pat Williams is hurt. And the secondary is getting burnt more often than the 1997 version of me trying my hand at "clubbing" and "dancing with the ladies". Awkward, tall white guys shouldn't be on the dance floor attempting to look good while Salt N' Peppa's "Shoop" is blaring over the 2 for 1s and glitter filled spaces. Thank god there wasn't YouTube back then or the world may need some serious eye bleach.

This isn't to say the Vikes saved themselves from a quick 1st round exit. Far from it. Without a complete effort against the lame-duck Giants AT HOME next week, the Vikes just might be launching a team they beat twice into the divisional round of the playoffs.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

No Vikes, No Cry

Saints losing this afternoon put another sting into the dreadful loss at the hands of the Panthers, as the window of potential home field advantage is still not completely closed.

Or should they be called "resurgent" Panthers after pummeling the Giants 41-9 today? Yikes. Rallying behind a third-string QB and super stars Peppers and Smith they put the Giants on the brink of elimination while having to shake their heads at what could have been.

Eagles/Broncos are on with all the Brian Dawkins returns to Philly talks while the second round of the Battle of the Planets tourney plays on that I'm covering today. Wyatt's Bionical's are all constructed, Kyra's room full of Disney princesses has grown to flood water levels as the parents are recovering from the holidays with football and a calming drink this afternoon.

No Vikes today as they're playing tomorrow on Monday Night Football against the Bears. ESPN, Fox Sports, NFL Network, and CBS Pregame show all had FavreChilly watch 2009 on their agendas even though the game wasn't being played today, and frankly the media saturation of the situation resembles a used maxi pad. Time to shed the blood and hope the team starts running on all cylinders because the problem ISNT the quarterback, isn't not the suddenly mortal running back, isn't not the defense (although some flash cards on "how to tackle" wouldn't hurt). Its the offensive line's dreadful play over the past four games that resulted in the correct All-Pro (McKinney) finally getting benched last week.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

What Did I Ever Do To Waffles?

Sorry Vikes fans, but the ultimate cooler has selected our team to win against the Bears this week.

Guess we'll enjoy being 11-4 and another week of Favre vs. Childress soap operas.


On a better note the new Truckin is out!

December 2009, Vol. 8, Issue 12

Welcome back to the new semi-Holiday issue of Truckin'.

1. Stiff Santa by Paul McGuire The Beverly Center had one strict rule -- never under any circumstances remove the bunny head in public. That would mortify young children. Josh turned to Ritalin to solve his problems... More

2. Christmas Money for Misty by Johnny Hughes Misty laid her best story on Sam, her road story. She was temporarily broke, like most casino folks, but she was to inherit the historic Morgan Ranch, 473 oil wells, 47,000 acres, and a bunch of cows in the Texas panhandle... More

3. The Hobby by Milton Burton The driver himself was a small-time coke pusher and wannabe heavy metal musician named Ronnie DeLoach who would never make it big, partly because he was void of any real musical talent. But mostly this sad fact could be attributed to his very limited life span... More

4. Dick-Hole, Part II by Bobby Bracelet Most guys will yank it twenty times a week but they won't feel their balls for lumps. I see it all the time... More

5. Absence of Fear by George Tate The turns became hard to handle and Gatlin knew it wouldn't take much to be over a guard rail and down the side on his back, load, tractor, and all. He suddenly cleared his mind and focused on the words, "Turn off the engine, that's it."... More

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Looking Up From Coming Down

At bottom of a small hill on Friday there was nothing but clear blue sky with a wisp of clouds hanging for decoration. Laying face-up on the frozen pond after my seventh run with the midnight blue rocket sled on my left and a very happy daughter whose little legs couldn't negotiate the sharp drop off between our land and the reedy pond on my right it seemed right to try to nap.

Until of course the other sled in use did a snowplow stop just short of my head causing a mini-avalanche of frozen white stuff over my already fridge face.

It was perfect.

Not too cold, not too warm, the laughs were genuine, and there were no pulling rank of parent to child, just smiles.

I'll remember that short hour in the backyard as the holidays roll on which is sure to bring more tantrums from lack of sleep, lack of treats, and lack of patience as we truck between various relatives and greetings.

Speaking of lack of patience, WTF Minnesota Vikings?

Three weeks ago the "on paper" Vikes were mirroring the "on field" ones for the first time since those years before Chris Gamble ended Culpepper's career (aside from some horrible bloated attempts to regain form) and Randy Moss was busy showing off his ass to a stunned Lambeau Field crowd. On Sunday night versus the Panthers you were the epitome of people's perceptions of this franchise.

Great names with poor execution and worse results. You were Peter North needing a roadmap to a vagina. You were Louis CK killing the crowd and suddenly trying out a knock-knock joke better suited for your kids' preschool class. You were Scarlette Johansson on a bad hair day (which actually now that I think about it, sounds kinda sexy). But, damn you guys for making me believe.

Lets start with the big "schism" talk first since people who follow sports much better than I (and someone I owe a poker post to in the near future), think this isn't a bunch of blown smoke and its ready to ignite a sizable flame in that media circus tent that surrounds Favre. As you know the Vikes newly signed coach tried to yank a 100% first-ballot Hall of Fame quarterback from the game with THEM LEADING for unknown reasons. Now another starter did get the hook and it was well-deserved as Bryant McKinnie was doubling as a blocking sled made of sugar and spice and everything nice against a resurgent Julius Peppers. But aside from injury concerns or possible injury from Mr. Peppers mistaking Favre's head for a slab of Carolina's best BBQ, why would you even broach the idea of taking the leader of the team out of a tight game?

So Coach Chilly isn't doing this team's cohesiveness any good what else is going on? Purple Jesus having to shake off hits in the backfield is a major downer for an O-line that was supposed to be one of the NFL's best. Can't reel off those highlight film open field breakaways or plowing thru cornerbacks if the 350 lbs. fat-ass nose tackle is sitting on your franchise player two yards behind the line of scrimmage. Pass blocking until a few weeks ago has been solid but even that went to pot on Sunday as Favre went down several times, not helped by the fact PJ only rushed 12 times.

The defense gets a little ribbing here as well for not exploiting what was a cobbled together O-line from Carolina. Our front four has been excellent in getting pressure on the quarterback all year and came up limp, especially in the fourth quarter with tackling better used during a 8th grade flag football P.E. class as Stewart became the first 100 rusher against the Vikes in 36 games thanks to several second and third efforts to take a two yard loss into a seven yard gain.

I wasn't able to watch the whole game, just peering up from the laptop as the Sunday Warm-up folks thought it would be awesome to bust out in clumps versus spacing it out a bit as the steam rose from my typing fingers :) But, I got the gist of this team's effort that is/was a Super Bowl contender, it smelled like defeat before the final gun, and its rotten carcass is now prepping for a trap game in Chicago against an awful Bears team with nothing to lose and everything to gain by taking a flailing playoff team down another peg.

Will the Brett Favre that dazzled us earlier in the season return. Most likely not, a case of the "olds" is creeping in, and unless the O-line gets their collective heads together and starts plowing the road for Purple Jesus and the defense knocks up Sulkathor (wrong Jay Cutler sorry) like they did in the Dome win, Viking fans will have to wear their 2009 NFC North Champs T-shirt from Target with spite as they lose the bye to the Eagles and a probable 1st round bomb from the playoffs.

I still expect victory at Solider Field, but how they get the win is more important.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Smells Like Christmas Spirit

The WSOP schedule is out and I'm already thinking about making a return to the Rio this year for another shot at an Omaha Eight-or-Better tourney.

I'll catch back on this subject later in the year, and closer to tourney time. If there's an interest for a partial staking again, I may make the trip.

No post tonight just ready for the holiday season to come to its peak over the next week with screaming kids from the shuffle from house to house, lack of sleep from the mounds of chocolate dipped pretzels and Hershey Kiss centered sugar cookies. Its also a great time to catch up with the relatives whose company I enjoy yet only find a rare golf outing or birthday to say hi.

Be sure to check out the PokerStarsBlog this weekend for the Sunday Majors recaps, I'll be on the bag for the Sunday Warm-up this week, and the two promotional tourneys next week (Battle of the Planets SnG Challenge and $1 Million Turbo Takedown with PokerStars Pro bounties).

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

WPBT: The Obvious

From the desk of Ric Romero (of Fark fame) and Captain Obvious:

Sexually active girls run greater risk of catching STDs. As opposed to, you know, those who don't have sex of course. But where's the fun in that?

Also painfully obvious is the integration of bloggers from this weekend's WPBT festivities has been less than optimal since they did not install Let It Ride and Pai Gow tables into our respective cafeterias and break rooms while dancing in Vegas. No dealertainers welcomed the masses back to cubicial enclosed employement, no bundled up people of Mexician decent laced the walkway to your building handing out business cards with shapely women who couldn't even find enough clothing to wear this winter and for $79 and a call to 1-800-Sex-4-You these ladies would gladly accept any form of donation.

The bankroll is back in the bank minus the amount I paid to Expedia yesterday for a 10th anniversary gift to my wife (coming in August to a bar near you). A trip to Vegas with me and another couple at the end of March. So much for staying away until we can watch Betty and Al show the denizens of Imperial Palace how to Two-Step (watch below), and the proper way to celebrate a gathering of friends.

Here's Pauly's 2009 WPBT video, plus a link to some of the pictorial highlights of the latest memories of these grand gatherings:

Until we meet again Geisha Bar, next time more Cowboys and Hookers please.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

WPBT: By the Numbers

One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.

- Sigmund Freud

The years of struggle may not yet be behind, the years of true pain may not have come out yet, but the present years are ones I'll choose to cherish.

Even today, a quick smile pops out randomly from a quick conversation at the WPBT, a quip, a bet, a toast, they all gather up into one awesome time with friends that I yearn for the very next time we meet.

By the numbers:

Number of days spent in Vegas: 5
Number of dollars won gambling: 1,100 (despite losing $450 on slots)
Number of dollars in profit taken home: 700
Number of dollars I'll get to keep after wife finds the money: 0
Number of dollars won prop betting: 40
Number of dollars should have won prop betting: 400 (Otis: BET MORE!)
Number of extra hours spent in room recovering from prop bet: Too many
Number of dollars lost because Waffles bet the Bengals: 50
Number of meals I ate in 4 days: 5
Number of Cap'n Cokes at Lagasse Stadium: 3
Number of lace purple panties viewed: 1
Number of times I jumped around like an idiot: Lost count after Caesar's Palace
Number of scared 7-Star high rollers because of jumping 6'4" 200 lbs. man-child hitting a point: 1
Number of tramp stamps spotted at Steel Panther concert: 14
Number of racks bought at Green Valley Ranch for $2/$4 game: 7
Number of racks cashed in at Green Valley Ranch: 8
Number of dollars for WPBT tourney buy in: 100
Number of minutes I lasted in the tourney: 15
Number of dollars won playing craps with Maigrey, Betty, and Chilly due to busting early: 750
Number of times Betty explained to me I needed water with each drink: 5
Number of laps I ran around slots while playing craps at Excal with GRob, Otis, and G+G: 6
Number of times my ball was used during the WPBT Golf Tourney: 5
Number of strokes the team had: 70
Number of temperature while golfing: 35
Number of dollars spent on a new jacket at the turn of the golfing round: 58
Number of consectutive hands of Chinese Poker won against Oh Captain during flight delay: 5
Number of wheelchair rides taken: 0
Number of quads hit on Let It Ride: 1
Number of dollars won on Let It Ride: 850
Number of inches of TV in the Lagasse Stadium luxury box: 103
Number of score at Galaga after Vikings game: 325,670
Number of friends I miss today: Too many

You bring the fun, and this time I was able to hear more of it brightening the trip a hundred fold. Thank you.

Until we meet again, stay thirsty my friends.

Monday, December 14, 2009

WPBT: Stills of a Weekend


I guess I possessed a camera inside my head using my eyes as shutters and reproduce those photos on to these pages for the images I've taken in this weekend. Some pictures of course would remain off, only brought out for a good laugh between those who hated their livers and sleep during the WPBT Winter Classic for the past 3-4 days.

But other stills of the action could be used to show just why this group of professional degenerates decents upon Vegas every December to tilt a cowboy and leave with another story of friendship and gambling woes.

I didn't bet enough, yet bet plenty. I possess a $100 t-shirt from Harrah's. I watched Maigrey carry a couple of us to an empty craps table and haul away a lion share of cash while watching "Mr. Important" 7-Star high roller slink off with empty pockets because he was too wrapped up in his self-importance to have fun (not to mention hitting his number for ungodly sums that would have doubled my yearly salary).

There may come wrap-up post, there may not. For now I'll enjoy images in my head of Steel Panther's lead singer grabbing his crouch with the tall well-built blonde directly behind him trying desperately to keep her Fredrick's of Hollywood g-string hidden from the masses despite wearing low cut jeans and skin tight baby-t.

4 more inches of snow and below zero temps await me at the Lindbergh terminal tonight, until then its hot chocolate time while doing a little people watching for a few more photos before getting home to Minnesota.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

WPBT: A Short Yet Long Day

Its after midnight here in Sin City as this will be wrapping up my third night of blogger hijinxs while in town for the WPBT Winter Classic. To the front and center Ron Jaworski and Merrill Hoge are explaining the NFL lineup that will be viewed tomorrow at Laggasse stadium in the Venetian (Palazzo). To my right are the silky concrete structures of the Belliago and Caesar's Palace. Viewable are dancing water, drive-by ads for 1-877-sex-4-you, and the Penthouse that Terrance Wantabe prceeded to give Harrah's 6% of their net earning via all the negative expectation games his alcohol-soaked brain could handle.

Caesar's Palace was also where I spent approximently half the day today. No, not from playing the annual WPBT Winter Classic Poker Tournament sponsored in part by PokerStars. That part took about 10 minutes for me to walk into the poker room, pay my $100 entry fee, and promptly ignore Derek's signs that hey YOUR TWO PAIR ISN'T ANY GOOD. I may have claimed such a hand was a cooler, and busting out 2nd from the tourney wasn't what I had in mind when I explained that I did not want to last long today. There was time to say hi to the table, clap for the annoncements and muck Ace-King while slinking over to CJ to inform him that my loser ass was done.

Could not sit afterwards. Instant grafication from slots further showed just how big of a drain those are on my gambling bankroll. No bonus game could dig me out of the hole, no fun was emitted from the cold machines as I was on the verge of packing it in for the day to further detox from a non-stop beginning (this part of the trip will be told at a later time). Back to the Palace part of the casino to attempt some Pai Gow-infused adrenaline. Push, lose, win, win, lose, push. End up winning $14 after a few hours of getting dangerously close to busting my buy-in for the day ($500). Instead those chips were better used back at the poker room.

Sitting down at a $1/$3 NLHE table with $300, I made small talk with a older figure that was soon-to-be divorced gentleman and couldn't understand why Omaha was such an action game. Not much materialized since NLHE live cash games in a casino are completely foreign to those who call Minnesota home. Until things went very right in a hurry, calling a small raise in the big blind with KdTd and four players in the hand we would see a bet to $30, a raise by the cutoff, putting the decision on the Qd Jd 8c flop. For those of you at home who know a bit about poker that is called an Open-Ending Straight and Royal flush draw. I couldn't call because he "only" at $120ish behind.


$30 better went back to rockin his fedora and the other guy pondered on what to do. He would make the call with a set of queens? Sure there's a straight posible but not prombable.


turn Ts, river Ad.

Suckout complete chips acquired), begin the ride to winning. Went back to the Palace casino station to sweat the St.Louis/G-Vegas/LA Douchebags convergence on a three-card poker table. No spots became open so I thru a hundred on the $10 craps table for shits and giggles and took a $40 profit from five shooters. By the time I turned around the lure of the sleek looking sirens Maigrey and Betty Underground were there to direct me to the unused $10 craps table and play our selves. And we would do so for the next two hours. An ultra-high roller would find himself stuck $12K while trying breach our run by putting those chips in play only AFTER the phenomial roll of the hazelnut-skinned lady hit hard sixes with the ease of getting your pajamas on before bed. He would leave at least $30K-$50K in lost bets on the table, but we would not. Actually amount will not be disclosed but we were able to make Derek's nipples raise from the texture of a $500 chip hitting his ribbed shirt while railing the final table as Astin, AlCantHand, and Speaker battled it out for the upside-down golden hammer.

From there our group would float from Casino Royale's e-coli caked roulette chips and back to the IP for a nightcap. I instead took leave from the group to enjoy a few moments in front this laptop screen and admire my view towards this town that has been the focial point of many extreme highs and lows of my life. Yes, I am and always will be a child wrapped up in adult clothing, I may cheer a little too loudly while a $5 blackjack hand becomes a winner, but my time in Vegas a growing experience with each visit. There's more I learn from the conversations over General Tso's chicken in a food court, leaning against a vacant poker table, or just admiring my newly found sense of seeking conversations with others simply because their voices make complete sentences (except for CK who for some reason I have the hardest time understanding despite her crystal-clear voice).

The journey continues from here as I sign off this evening as NFL Sunday is coming in few hours for yet another awakening from this pair of bionic ears I now possess. My thoughts are for a few friends who are having inner-struggles that could be much similar to my own over the past seven years, and if they need to sit down in that quiet corner or at the bank of Reel Em' Slot Machines, I'll be there with a good set of ears and hoping some words of encourgement for him or her.



Saturday, December 12, 2009

Brief Space of Time

For the next couple of days I'll have an internet connection in my room which means I'll drop by twitter and throw a quick tweet up:

Follow me here: TWEET TWEET for me here.

Short recap:

Jumped a bunch
Shed a tear at Geisha Bar
Ran around like an idiot at Excal playing craps with G+G Makeout Factory, G-Rob, Otis, Texan from the panhandle at 4am
Made a bet
Steel FUCKIN Panther
Bought in
Won at $2/$4 with bloggers
Won Prop Bet, will rub G-Rob's $20 all over myself with peppermint lotion
Getting ready for WPBT Winter Classic Tourney.


Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Can't Wait One More Day

Winter is officially here in Minnesota:


In other words. Yuck. Especially for someone who's intending to leave on a jet plane only to come back again on Monday night. 45 mph winds happened in January/February here I doubt going outside for the paper would even be advisible. As is, just a winter storm nasty to pump gas in and shovel, but excellent excuse to warm up some hot chocolate and fire up a few tables of online poker on the day before I meet up with 100+ friends scattered across the US and Canada in Vegas.

This has been said before but I'm glad the degenerates I'm so anxious to meet up with are living in different climates and states because it keeps a check on my personal degeneracy to a weekend once in a while versus being knocked sideways every Friday and Saturday. A little nudge to cubical confinement, a little excitement to the cries over not eating dinner, a personal spa weekend without the $500 acai berry scrub and lava rocks chi-reviver. Instead we'll spread that money over the Geisha Bar at the IP, MGM's poker room and adjacent bar, Gold Coast trying to make the Ice Queen pit boss smile (I've been successful twice in four years) and throwing the horns at Steel Panther.

But, tonight will be the calm before the real storm brewing up in Vegas and holding on for one more day...

See you on the other side of sobriety.

One day folks.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

2009 WPBT: A Prelude

Don't worry, the Wilson Phillips video I play every year is going up tomorrow.

Yes tomorrow as in we're just two days from WPBT-gasm all over the Geisha bar and various poker tables spread across the Las Vegas Strip.

My itinerary is a road map, but as many people have gotten to know me on these pages, I'll be sure to find myself somewhere even the legend of the map doesn't have a symbol for. These things are locked down however:

Thursday -

  • Wheels up from MSP around 5 ish, meet OhCaptain at the airport taking separate planes around the same time, place first prop bet and drink first drink of the trip.
  • Land at LAS, promptly put first wasted money into a Star Wars slot machine. Make lightsaber noises when three Luke Skywaker symbols line up, tell random person to "may the force be with you... always"
  • Catch a cab (probably with OhCaptain) to the Strip, remind Abuzzl that I do not wish to take the highway
  • Unpack, sadly since I'm here five days will need to bring a suitcase get shafted by the airlines for the baggage fee.
  • Head to Geisha Bar, be wary of The Rooster buying birthday shots while partaking in the first late night Pai Gow session of the weekend


  • 9:30am in front of the IP in a collared shirt and khakis ready to destroy fellow bloggers in the four team golf scramble
  • Hit golf ball aproximately 140 times, curse 139 of those and cheer the one time it actually leaves the ground
  • Pay Speaker for all of the golfing prop bets I lost AND take him over to the Nine Fine Irishmen for a Bucket O' Sausage and pints. This doesn't really feel like a loss.
  • Time for -EV gambling
  • Mixed games at MGM, get told I cannot purchase $1,000 in $1 chips. Pout. Get $500 and have blogger chip runner bring me more.
  • Maigrey knocks over pretty chip tower. Pout more.
  • Show table that 789T rainbow in O8 really isn't a "premium" hand despite the pretty four card straight.
  • Actually understand 85% of the conversation (up from 10%!) at the bar behind the MGM poker room. Shed a quick tear for all those who helped with the hearing aid purchase and drink more.
  • Put on spandex and mullet and head to Steel Panther for headbanging to "Death to all but Metal" and "Asian Hooker" and pray I haven't passed out at this point
  • 3am $2/$4 limit poker with fellow concert go'ers? Yessir.


  • Get wheeled into the Caesar's poker room as the captain of Team Wheelchair (Al and StB).
  • Mention every tournament I've won online, and the chop I took at Binion's Poker Classic were done while having a BAC around my age and start drinking again after ability to sit upright comes back
  • Bust out in 12th place while holding pocket queens against 53 offsuit. Smile, grab a hot chocolate and watch Team Wheelchair take home the PokerStars infused prize pool.
  • Rage solo and try not to end up dead


  • NFL at Lagasse stadium hope Emeril's buffalo wings dont suck
  • Ogle at The Wife donning her newly minted Vikings #4 jersey
  • Take a second and third look
  • Cheer the Vikes to victory over Iggy's WHO DEY!
  • Say good byes to those leaving that night, find out who's sticking around for a run to the Gold Coast for my favorite Ice Queen pit boss while playing $10 Pai Gow and attempts to make her smile or perhaps bowling?


  • Detox by playing $2/$4 limit hold em' with hot chocolate on an IV drip in the Flamingo poker room. Tilt locals by hitting two pair with the hammer after capping preflop
  • Flight back to MSP in the afternoon, prepare for stories of how the other Vegas demolished the house while I was gone, do dishes like a good husband, kiss the kids good night, promptly pass out and dream of doing it all again the next year.

Two days folks. Tonight I have hot birthday date with my wife that will consist of eating and drinks at PF Changs at 6:30pm then sleeping by 8:00pm because that's how old people roll.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Blue Balls Inside the Pink Taco

The better team won last night.

In what was bizzaro world in the NFL yesterday, Pats losing to the 'Phins, Steelers defense looking more broken up then the current Berlin Wall giving up late TDs to the Raiders, and the Redskins having the game gift wrapped against the undefeated Saints miss a chip shot field goal and fumble their way to a loss.

Then the Vikes took the field against the Cardinals in the Pink Taco and watched them turn into Super Bowl contenders. Swarming defense, solid front line protected the recently rattled Kurt Warner, and wideouts that made our safeties look foolish to say the least. A huge asset for the past two years suddenly has become a serious liability. The Vikings vaunted running game with Purple Jesus and Chester Taylor combined for 40 yards. Not on one run mind you, for the whole game. Neither one could match the 41 yards in two rushes that Percy Harvin put up in their 18 rushes.

Favre detractors were plentiful last night, quick to jump on the "HERE'S THE OLD BRETT FAVRE HAHAHAHAH ROFLCOPTER!!!!" bandwagon. Incredibly short-sighted if you're in this boat, as I thought he played average just not the 110+ rating 24TD/4INT type quarterbacking god he's been thru 11 games. Point a finger at the savior of team from his drafting three years ago. The run game that has been the key to victories until this year has given way to glutony and famine. No consistant 5,6,7 yards a rush, instead its -2, 1,0, 56, 3. This has a direct effect on Favre going down to sacks three times last night (as the talked-up Minnesota line put up exactly zero sacks). If the team is going to look towards Miami they need to find that crushing running game, that one move that makes her scream your name in bed, that loving feeling before its gone gone gone whoa whoa.

They need to find that running game, Favre did throw a couple of bad picks with one or two more that could have gone for a pick six (I hate that term), but generally did fine for the action I was able to see over the top of my laptop while working at PokerStarsBlog last night (Sunday Warm-up wrap found here). To add insult to the loss, EJ Henderson is gone for the year after this hit turned his left leg into jello (click here), McKinney and Loadholt were hurt turning the solid offensive line into a mis-mash of back-ups and back-ups of back-ups. All around it was similar to getting cockteased all day and night by your spouse only to get told while brushing your teeth that "I'm tired" complete with lights off by the time you spit out the Wintergreen Fresh Scope.

Started out fast, ended with blue balls quickly.

Three. More. Days. (well, tomorrow is my birthday as told by yet other white hair plucked from my chin this morning so that one should fly by quickly).

Thursday, December 03, 2009

PSA: Dr. Pauly's Notes on Surviving the WPBT Winter Gathering

A quick hit since its my day/night to relax with an unclear beverage (or eight), sing 80s hair band songs, play some low limit donkey MTTs while fighting off the temptation of hitting up the cash games to make the money back. But an important post for all you WPBT go'ers next week. Most of you are hardened veterans of the cowboy-tilting, Geisha Bar clearing, Dick-Bro sighting weekend of revelry that this weekend always brings.

Dr. Pauly has your back as a Vegas regular (who has a certain book upcoming you've may have heard about... Lost Vegas). Here are the tips on surviving the weekend with your fellow bloggers AND coming home without a missing limb/missing iPhone/missing on the good time you are going to Sin City for.

Here's Pauly's 6.0 version of Invading Las Vegas. Detailed post of the first 23 here.

Make special note of #34, cribbed from friend of all poker bloggers, Wil Wheaton

34. Don't be a dick.

Have fun, but don't be a dick. Nobody likes a dick.

I'll add one:

35. Do have a conversation with me this year. As people who have seen me since I've gotten my hearing aids can tell you, I'm more likely to not just understand what you're saying I'll probably even respond with sarcasm!

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

One Night in Bangkok Minneapolis

Gray hair.

I has it.

Looking in the mirror before five a.m. and seeing the sign that I'm no longer the awkward college student, but the awkward man-child parent of two husband to one that is currently doing a 45 degree head tilt to get a better look at the unpigmented piece of stubble on his chin.

For the first time I was hoping it was just a zit.

Last night there was a taste of what is to become the 5th annual WPBT Winter Classic (with the Luckbox Challenge and $2,000 added bucks by PokerStars) next weekend. That taste came in the form of a fellow degenerate rolling through town on business, along with a fellow Minnesotan and finding a few hours to watch Tom Izzo's team get blown away by a University of North Carolina squad that looked like they were shooting ping pong balls into Lake Superior for baskets. It wasn't the game or the excellent Tripel served by the flirty dark eyed waitress at Rock Bottom Brewery. It was a brief moment to see a couple of friends that due to life getting in the way makes tying one on and making new friends $20 for three minutes a time unattainable but delightfully blank with a glass of imperial stout feasible.

No deadlines, conference calls, or having to tell your daughter that swiping something from your brother and being asked to return it but instead taking the item and dropping it behind the couch is wrong. Just a chance to chat without a 140 keystroke or internet connection limit. This is life. Mine at least. To some its reaching for that next corporate rung via late nights and cross-country flights. Noting the action of people with too much money as they flip over cards in exotic locales. Or dropping by the cube for 10 hours a spot to enjoy the company and hope that a challenge is thrown your way so that your not spinning your head about not doing enjoy and can enjoy the benefits package which keeps your kids healthy and under a newly shingled roof. We do these things for different reasons, but one should hope that once the veneer of work clothes are stripped away there's something that gets you to go back tomorrow and be free of resentment. Whether its the job itself that drives you, the rewards of financial stablity, or the ear-to-ear grin of a child that just got that Nintendo DSi they've been pawing you for, earned by those extra hours of overtime that drive should never fade completely.

For myself during those dark years of recent past there was nothing but resentment toward my wife, my job, myself. Only thru the patchwork of friends scattered in towns like Albertville, Brooklyn Park, Hutchinson and across the US did I get to the point sitting this chair and saying "I have it pretty fucking good right now". It wasn't my wife's decision to better her life, or mine to hear what I missing out on for so many years, it was my friends and family with their unabashed support. Whether it was a quote from a long dead Greek philosopher, funds and a note to turn me into a new person with the ability to chat about a decent way to cook edamame (ginger and soy sauce will be tried later in the week) in a crowded noisy restaurant, or a simple nod with a raised glass of barley and hops while the Purple destroy another team on the gridiron its the reason I get a little misty around this upcoming trip.

And before you ask, no I won't wax poetic the whole time as that should saved for quiet 4am chats in a dark corner of Sherwood Forest, its better to discuss who has a better rack between Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson or the whole Tiger-gate thing (my opinion, leave him the hell alone) at the Pai Gow table than discuss a mid-life crisis while you're shouting at Xi to finally turnover a 10-high pai gow.

Eight days folks.