Monday, September 08, 2008

Since We Love to Live Blog...

Since live blogging took over my life for the past weekend, let’s twitter-riffic my past weekend:

09/05/08 – 8:00pm Log on to PokerStars blogging platform fresh as a newborn after some tit-sucking. I’m first up with Event #1, no pressure leadoff after being called up from single “A” ball.

09/06/08 - 12:00am – Wow, midnight came fast and still plugging away. Alcoholism and self-loathing in the distant future.

4:00 am – Bio break, legs won’t function as I crawl to the bathroom and piss like a water fountain into the toilet

5:32 am – Not looking good for golfing as the final six have extremely healthy “M’s” and with several hundred thousand dollars on the line, I doubt they care if I get to go shoot 18 with my father-in-law an hour from now.

6:30 am – Otis is the man, and takes over for my limp (literally) ass as I stumble into my Greg Norman polo shirt and pillow soft khakis to pick up my brother-in-law for our annual foursome with our father-in-law out at Daytona Golf Club (September rates $27 with a cart for 18, awesome deal!!)

7:01am – First tee time and picture perfect morning with the sun coming over some farmland beyond the first green. The dew is a runny nose-like thick but makes it easier to read my horrible putts

9:23 am – After four three-putts but somehow hitting 7 out of 9 greens in regulation with zero sleep I decide something was needed on the turn. I blankly got an M and M cookie instead of a much needed drink.

11:14am - Bullshiting at the bar after the round for a hour or so is the best part of our annual get-together. My brother-in-law manages to chat about my exploit with an engaged chick right before I started dating his daughter for nearly 15 minutes. Thanks, bro remind me to tell a few stories next time.

12:45pm - Arrive at brother-in-law’s house for burgers and brats on the grill after finally getting some wake-up juice in me (Cap’n Coke of course, heavy on the Cap’n), I wake up enough to acknowledge that this swiss/cheddar burger is pretty goddamn tasty and my daughter is proudly wearing a sticker proclaiming her a junior crimefighter which I’m reminded of every two minutes which I steal a hug from her each time.

2:00pm - Hit the bed with the force of a pre-Buster Douglas fight Mike Tyson.

5:30pm – Wake up to take care of the kids as they were nice enough to take a nap with daddy, wife is scrapbooking until 11pm.

8:00pm – Watch Spongebob Squarepants with the boy as we assembled a fort of pillows, comforters, and state fair won stuffed animals for his “sleepover” in the porch.

9:17pm – Prep for tonight’s Event #4 2-7 Triple Draw with the lovely Change100. Thought about a nice Goose Island IPA, took a Lipton ice tea and a box of Triscuits instead

10:00pm – Settle in for the night purchasing Werewolves of London and Goodbye to You for the iPod while logging into and the nifty hand replayer

10:25pm - Make first poker blogging prop bet ever on the finish time, Change100 sets it at 3:45PDT, I take the under for $5.

09/07/08 5:45am -- #@$%!#%@#@!, lose $5 when we’re four-handed. Ship it to Change!

6:15am – watch the most bizarre heads-up play I’ve ever seen, the eventual winner takes 15 hands in a row while both still had healthy Ms to the blinds. The other player just rolls over and dies as with no chop in place he wins the whole $24K

6:30am – Finish up with the final hand from Change100 wish her a good night and log off

6:49am – Kids are up, play around with them wondering who’s in my skin right now

10:07am - Feel much better after a two hour nap when the wife kindly feeds them breakfast and wake up for a little Super Mario World with Wyatt

1:03 pm - Took another quickie nap and set out to take care of my parent’s dog while they’re away, and watch some football after getting a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger from Wendy’s

1:41 pm – Jets vs. Dolphins or Atlanta vs. Lions?!?!?!?! As Speaker might say “Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.” I get to watch part of one game today and have to choose between FARVEFARVEFARVEFARVEFARVE and the Matt Millen fan club? Eric Hipple and someone who can actually play defense please report to the Lions camp immediately.

2:45pm – Start setting up with Stephen Bartley from across the pond who’s looking at a rather late evening/early morning with our shift. He’s already got a list of player to look for in this massive 7,000+ orgy. I manage to spot “The Bulldog” Orel Hershiser who would almost make the money while playing very decently as I followed him for awhile.

5:34pm – Wife announces no dinner for me as I didn’t answer my cell phone (thanks, hon) while Wyatt proudly displays his new #23 jersey for the local soccer club. I wrestle with both of them as they played for a little bit after banging out a quick post.

6:46pm - Find soccer pic on my cell phone, Wyatt is looking good, hopefully he gets his mother's striking ability versus my bad legs for the sport.

8:00pm – Kyra with her new Dora the Explorer PJs comes down alone for a hug and kiss looking more tired then me. But she actually provides me with more caffeine then a double espresso at Starbucks as we near the bubble in Event #6.

10:00pm -- The closers come in, as my brain feels like I just tossed a complete game in 95% humidity. Wish Stephen a great night, and trot upstairs to catch the end of the Bears/Colts game which Payton probably dominating…

10:21pm – Whoa, Payton is on the sidelines looking like his prom date is getting railed by the dance floor by the offensive line. Score one for Donkeypuncher’s Bears.

10:37pm – Walk out to the deck to stare at the backyard for five minute and wind down a bit. Still passed on the IPA, poor choice once again.

10:50pm – Wife is snoring, my head hits the pillow and the first wild weekend of blogging is in the books.

No comments: