Thursday, April 07, 2011

Spaceballs: The Vacation Recap

$369 Round-trip from Lindbergh Terminal to McCarran on December 8th.

This pricing is courtesy of *start deep announcers voice* where our price assurance guarantees you never pay more than the lowest stated fare! 

Or plan degenerate gatherings too far in advance.

Wow.  Didn't take long to hop off one vacation think about the next now did it?  If I were to reach into the DSM-IV to reach a prognosis for the past month Manic-Depressive would leap from the couch and bill me $200 for the hour with a handful of happy pills.

First I didn't get a promotion, then won an employee of the year award, then went on vacation in a shitty mood, got drunk several times, shitty mood did not improve, finally resolved shitty mood, enjoyed remainder of vacation, came back to work in zombie-state, got yearly review, received a mark reserved for the top 1% of employees, and got to play with kids.  I think avoiding the PLO Rush ring games for the next month will prove to be wise.

If anyone could find normal out there lurking behind mediocre, I'd appreciate if he'd drop around for a chat because my handle of Captain at home is going to take a hit unless someone quieter days come without group-think level existentialist discussions about life, marriage, and parenting bouncing around in my head. Throw in this new pressure with school and being the BMOC at work (while still in the pint-sized cube of course) and there’s something that has to give.

But, it doesn’t. Stretching is something mentioned in this blog more than once and I’ll continue doing so until Reed Richards leans back and says “DAaaaaaaaaaaaamn!”. Oh, I’ll also be using my annual poker reporting card to join the PokerStarsBlog crew once again for full coverage of the 114 events (!) of the 2011 SCOOP tournament series.

Sleep? For pussies. Luckily, I find an extra tank of natural Red Bull when musing about the scary turn card, so weaving some rather interesting workdays into the normal routine shouldn’t hurt.

Well, nothing that a caffeinated drink and bowl of Fruity Pebbles can’t solve. Yes that’s a double negative, but my blog is a grammatical train wreak anyway and nothing that Denzel Washington or any college professor of the verse could solve. Or hope to repeat for that matter.

Ok, vacation. The Spaceballs short-short version.

Flew to San Antonio
Mexican strip club (seriously, $100 gets you all the syphilis you could want to gather up with an endless bottle of Sol in your hand).
Mexican bathroom video (may post, may not, definitely don’t remember doing this)
Golf (windy and humid but struck the ball well including several drives that did not anger the local's roofs and windows)
Pouted, then pouted again
Hashed things out with wife
Happy again
Drove to San Antonio
The Alamo (awesome history lesson wish I had more time)
Riverwalk (tell me why there are no rails next to the river with $2 beers and Sangria specials?!!?!?)
None of your business
Twins lose to Yankees again
Raising Cane’s chicken strips at 10am (I’d gain 30 pounds if this place was near me)
Read Falstaff’s Hard Day’s Knight vol. 1 on the flight home (well done again sir)
Hugs from two kids and promptly pass out after tucking them in



KenP said...

You've heard of the Peter Principle?

Well, I can report that you have yet to reach that level of incompetence.

However, I can report that those above you and in HR have.

I recall a great review at the end of a first year. I didn't get the raise I was expecting and was council ed to get married where I would then need/deserve the money. That was a great job and it was even greater when I got the much better one.,

John G. Hartness said...

You post the bathroom video and I'll tell the story about eight mostly white theatre geeks descended upon an African-American strip club in downtown Atlanta where we were all amazed to find a Skittle dispenser in the crapper.

DrChako said...

I lived in San Antonio for 4+ years and never once fell into the river. It wasn't for lack of trying.

I can attest to the weight-gain thing. In the hospital, we'd call it "San Antonio Burrito Poisoning."