Deep Fried Favre

You probably felt it after getting off the bus or out of your car while walking towards the building of your employer this morning.  It was darker out, the winds nip a little more as the oppressive humidity rolls somewhere behind the nearest Starbucks.  While the leaves have not changed colors, Fall is around the corner as noted by the annual state get-together known as the Minnesota State Fair commercials.  Minnesotans can always count on the major TV channels and StarTribune to send bright photos and images that seem to waif the smells of cheese curds and bacon on a stick thru their respective mediums.

Eight days until Snelling Ave. becomes a parking lot while waiting to slide, hopefully into a grassy parking lot or one jump across the road to the many residents who open up a side business for two weeks hoping to syphon a few bucks from parking or make-shift lutefisk stand before they enter the fairgrounds.  This fair go'er grew up marking the date on the calendar, getting up at the crack of dawn to sit in the parking lot before the fairground roared to life to have cake donuts and milk from a thermos off the back door of the station wagon with his brother and sister.  My further memories of the Fair are consciously lost from the head injury but something down deep wakes up my senses when it's time to visit the 4-H buildings and see the Princess Kay of the Milky Way carved in butter.

Photo Cred (Jannorris.com)

Even with the Twins making a late-season push towards not only a playoff spot, but a potential World Series berth with a powerful lineup and suspect starting pitching (nice job for the sweat Baker, you need to treat Thome to Manny's after blowing that four-run lead), the Fair is coming.

Even with Favre-gasm Dos exploding ESPN into FavreCenter yesterday and most of this morning.  This rabid fan of the Purple and Gold needed new Calvin Klines after the buildup on Twitter with three star players very noticably missing from the practice field on Tuesday morning.  Was the defense collapsing because Jared Allen drove his pickup thru a bar in Minnetonka at 3am?  Did Ryan Longwell mistake a block of cement for a pop can?  Did Steve Hutchinson finally decide to live like a Northern Minnesota native in the mists of Lake Vermillion catching smallmouth bass and drinking pitchers of Schmidt Light at the Kwazy Wabbit?  No, they were in Mississippi giving a Hellmuthian escort (but I doubt Hutch look that good in a bikini top and boy shorts) 

How to pissed off Mean Gene despite the presence of boobs

Yep, Brett Favre is back.  Today is a press conference where he'll ride in without his beloved John Deere and give Minnesotans one more year of excitement followed by heartache that we have come to terms with as sports fans in this state.  Wanted?  Definitely.  Needed?  Does T-Jack get your hopes of a ring up?  No.  And Tarvaris if I could, your quote yesterday said "I don't care if he's back", actually you should. if you want to be the starter next year or if some asshole like Sean Payton tells his players to purposely injure the AARP rep behind the center.  The PR correct answer was:  "It's great that I'll be learning from a future Hall-of-Fame quarterback with hopes of leading this team in the near future".  Say what you want through the grill of your facemask, but when faced with the media keep those comments to yourself, as now you'll get painted as a cancer to a potential playoff/Super Bowl contender.  Sad that you haven't learned the PR game or controlled that sawed-off shotgun of an arm spraying balls like pellets from its barrel.

For the next eight days the prize is on the Midway of the State Fair not the bat of Jim Thome saving the day, or talented media whore turning me unwillingly into a fanboi (damn you Favre!).  Nope, I'll be sitting in that patted down grass parking lot waiting for the box of donuts to passed to me.

After the all-you-can-drink milk and Sweet Martha's Cookies are gone all bets are off and the Helga Hat comes out of the closet :)   SKOL!!!!

Open Air Love

If you'll excuse the mixed metaphors and horrible spelling today as my workload has been a tad on the heavy side lately despite getting the two weeks off of school.  Three months ago the dates were circled on a calendar as my sister-in-law claimed some decent seats along the first baseline at the new Target Field.  Little did I know that picking up some work at Bluff Magazine along with my usual end-of-the-month final table wraps at the PokerStarsBlog would leave me with no sleep between pantsless reporting and champion spreadsheet jockey duties at the bullseye.  Boxer briefs with triscuit shavings were exchanged for a polo shirt and clean khaki slacks as the day of seeing major league baseball outdoors in Minnesota was a scant ten hours away.

After getting by on a concoction of green tea, migraine pills, and aerobic exercises that had my fellow cube dwellers taking second looks it was time.  This ride would be with the boys after my brother-in-law and E dropped in for a pre-game drink before heading down I-94 into the tip of downtown from the 4th Street exit.  Only briefly during the magical 1991 campaign had I seen the outskirts of a Minnesota stadium with such vibrancy.  The Metrodome was newer back then, hosting the 1987 World Series, NCAA Championships, and a Super Bowl in a short time span, but now sat dormant for the most part several blocks away as the Twins christened their new home several months ago.  After purposely parking on the rooftop to get a view of the new digs there was little reason to doubt why ticket prices went up.  Instead of a robotic sports game, you now got an open ambiance as seen by the huge jumbotron IN COLOR that peaked from the 5th street vantage point.

Target Field (link to original)

After getting down from the parking ramp, and crossing into Gate 29 sponsored by Treasure Island Casino we joined a sell out crowd for a Monday night game against the Detroit Tigers whom were just a half game off the pace as the Twins have been slumpping as of late.  The hallways jammed packed as people large and small donned Mauer, Morneau, and Punto jerseys.  And yes, one Favre jersey on a saddened 11 year old's face from the Iron Range hoping for football season to start with the silver fox behind our center once again.   

But, that's a few month away before the helga hat comes out of the closet, for now the boys of summer were about to take the perfectly manicured REAL GRASS field.  And what a view it is.  From section 107 row 17 (which you can get a virtual tour of from the Twins home site here, just plug in the numbers).  You don't get the blue skies and tasty chicken strips with a Summit Pale Ale to wash it down with but a glimpse at seeing baseball the way it should be viewed.  The flattened seating makes you feel as if you're ground level despite being 17 rows up.  The sell out crowd would never get a chance to start out with a roar after the repaired Francisco Liriano took the hill and promptly started batting practice while spotting the Tigers four in the first inning. 

I barely could move from my seat, but that was a personal choice, taking in every inch of the stadium as the Twins tried to claw from the 4-0 start. The pine trees in center, the Budweiser party deck similar to the rooftops our group has taken in at Wrigley for the past three years but built into the surroundings, and skyline views all made this an entertainment ticket, not just paying for the activity on the field.  Slugger on his last leg Jim Thome would place a ball over the left field fence, but it is not enough for the home team as they would lose 7-5.  Unlike year's past when most people would have labored up the steps before the last out, nearly all of the seats remained filled until the hometown hero blooped the last out into the 2nd baseman's glove.  After looking at the size of the crowd and seeing the clock hit 10:30 I figured it would be past midnight before getting safely back to the surburbs.  Color me surprised as my kid-marred Trailblazer was able to reach home a little after 11 as the streets flowed with little traffic unlike years past if the Metrodome acquired a sizable crowd and left many gridlocked for an hour past game time.

Worth the extra cost?  Absolutely.  Would do it again?  Let's wait till August when some friends from out-of-town drop by  :)  

Shooting Lefty Until Righty Feels Better

First link for "More Masters News" on Yahoo.com?

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Good thing the front page actually had more praise for Lefty among the major newspapers and web-zines instead of someone who finished in a tie for fourth.  Personally I'll admit to being a huge Tiger Woods fan, the glut of focus on the golfer is starting to reach Brett Favre heights (by the way Brett, any time you're ready sir, no need to drop by Jay Leno's set).  The real test for Mr. Woods will be at a golf tournament where the security and decorum measures are not aligned with a Presidential State dinner.

Some busty attention whore running across the 14th fairway at the TPC of Scottsdale to get 10 minutes of web fame is going to happen in time with "reality stars" carry zero shame to gain Youtube hits.  It's going to happen, not if, but when.  One will hope that the 76 year old golf ranger will run down the chick before someone's iPhone or pocket recorder picked up at Target for less than $100 films the lead story for the week on Sportcenter.  I wouldn't even be surprised if she has a website tramp-stamped on her back.

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White ball golf aside it was a weekend to be outside as Minnesota's weather was nothing short of perfect all weekend.  I managed two rounds in between the normal running around that a family does.  Normally that meant plunking down $50-$75 on a round, plus drinks before, during, and after with losing a half dozen balls to various places in which water resides.  Instead I paid zero green fees, walked at my own pace with my family (ok, my daughter's little legs got a bit tired and needed a boost), and I even made a few pars.  Disc Golf has been the choice of stress relief lately, thanks to a unknown shoulder injury that feels like a torn rotator cuff but a dull pain of an overworked muscle, I have had zero desire to play "real" golf and softball for that matter.

The first round was at Central Park in Brooklyn Park which has a nice 9 hole layout that's fairly open and includes a great wide-open downhill shot from the top of a sizable hill.  Throw in a park for the kids to wander off to, and you've got free family entertainment.

Next one was over in Plymouth at Plymouth Creek where the setting was carved into a forest, and reminded me more of the Timmons Park course I played while in G-Vegas last month.  This 12 hole run was very challenging as there were shots over water, aside from water, and some godless person put in this 480 foot monster hole in which I had my best drive of the day of about 180-200 feet AND STRAIGHT!, but only reached the ladies tees and contained a very small window of fairway that did not produce wetness.  This course even came equipped with juniors tees with signs pointing the direction of the basket.  One, small note if you do visit the course that hole #1 is at the far of the parking lot, as pointed out by the stroller toting family that was teeing off hole #10 when I arrived with wife, daughter, and son who held his own orange Innova disc.

You will need to listen to my dirt filled adventures here since my shoulder doesn't feel like it's going to heal up any time soon and well, I'm having a blast playing!  Go for a second round?  Free!  Only cost your dignity of watching your disc hit a tree over and over.

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Today notes the start of a brand new ball park in which I was allowed by wear Twins colors to work.  The broadcasting started a 5am as Kirby get a statue and after 10 hours of hoopla, they'll actually play a game (why against the Red Sox and not a divison rival??).  Just saw Frankie "Sweet Music" Viola is going to be here with...  Shannon Stewart?   Ok, not who'd I with but someone from each of the pennant winners will be on hand to get the flag flying as the 2010 World Champions flag will be hung by Joe Mauer of course.  Oh, they have to play out the season.  For shame.  I thought I'd get my $20 from Pauly just based on the quick start by the best lineup this franchise as seen since 1991.

Seven for Ten

Minnesotans already blanketed by some white stuff as the shovels were not quite put away for the season and unless Punxsutawney Phil says otherwise we'll enjoy every flurry and flake. People who like snow most likely don't have an 5am daily commute and got stuck behind a snowplow while having to share a car for the week because the other one had a transmission that decided to cease functioning while driving 65mph down I-694 with two kids in the back that wanted nothing other than to learn how float in water.

Tax return to shore up savings? Yeah, that was a great idea at the time. Kinda feel like the couple in "Up" trying to throw change into the large jar for the trip to Paradise Falls only to have life show up at the door and say "take the hammer out again, the move is going to have to wait". It's the journey right? Right now that journey has frozen digits 90% of the day and a daughter who tries to make two gallons of cherry red kool-aid in a dixie cup then decides to clean up the mess by smearing in on the walls and tile with a white towel.

At least there's a smile.

The busy end-of-the-month Sunday's at the PokerStarsBlog give me a chance to slide on the cozy slippers of hair metal, online geniuses, and bad puns as the kids and wife vacated the porch while wrote up the Battle of the Planets, $1,000,000 Turbo Takedown, and Sunday Warm-up tournaments. While those were going on, my eye was taking a quick glance at Twitter because rumors have been swirling about a certain Minnesota sports icon looking to come back.

No, sadly if you're one of the legion of Brett Favre fans no word from the land baron as of yet. My advice is to listen for the words from Jay Glazer or local reporter Mark Rosen NOT Ed Wants-to-stir-the-pot-and-play-with-the-big-kids Werder.

Pic cred sportsnet.ca

No, its the hometown kid. "The One". The reason for the move from the homerdome to Target Field starting this season. St. Paul's own Joe Mauer is on the cusp of signing with the Twins basically a contract for the remainder of his career. Effectively removing any chance of tainting the all-star catcher with Yankee pinstripes, LA Douchebagerry or Bloody Soxs should he sign contract being floated out there instead of bagging the bloated contract he could demand from the above teams.

While I will always have an interest in the local ballclub, it's magnified when number seven is playing. Much like a golf tournament with Tiger Woods, a hockey game with Gretzky, to a Minnesota Twins fan who had to watch their hero from the 80s fall from grace and to health, because of Joe Mauer they had someone special to cheer for again. While Puckett exerted energy, Mauer's freshly cropped sideburns brings the quiet cool. Cool enough to to be in awe but friendly enough to play some catch with the fans on a side street if asked.

Mr. Mauer it is with hope that you decide to spend half a season in the confines of downtown Minneapolis for the next decade as I'll be there every month except in April because outdoor baseball in such a month in this state is borderline retarded (yes, I have played in snow several times). Just make the decision soon and leave the ESPN drama to Favre who has experience in such waffling and football fans have grown used to it.

Take the high road down newly named Twins Way and find a few fans that will show up regardless of team's record (and maybe even the weather).