Monday, July 24, 2006

Do You Hear What I Hear?

One of the advantages of playing poker is the ability to make an ass of yourself and still win. Sure there are books, forums, podcasts, aircasts, arms-in-a-cast, and good old fashion railbirding virtually and live. But, who needs all that?!?! Hell, if you watched ESPN Classic WSOP marathon all weekend you’d know all there is to know about this silly game.

Most players have a little voice in the back of their head when they are about to make a bad play at the table. This voice is called “having instincts” and can be a great addition to your game if you listen to it. Sure you’ve felt the buzzing before, it feels like a little bit of wax build up in your ear, a mosquito bite, or a hair that tumbled out of place. Away from the felt, you may remember going to the bar in your extremely stylish beige overcoat (it was winter, in my defense) and walking inside to indulge on the 2-for-1 specials as quickly as possible because hey its free booze!

After the specials stopped you may have slowed down the drinking a bit because that 86’ multi-colored Nova with the banging ghetto sound system isn’t going to get home George Jetson push-button style. But wait, is that a female I see? She’s digging your funky ash-white dance moves straight out of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo to all the hott 90’s dance music playing. She strolls up to your ear and… wants to put what, where?

Oh my.

There’s a buzzing going off in your head louder then your stupid morning radio zoo crew wake up call. No, its not the 16 Jag bombs that you wow’d your friends showing your stupidity as an alcohol dumpster. It’s the nagging of your internal defense about going home with this female as she’s a friend of the girl you’ve been trying to go out with for awhile.

Maybe I shouldn’t… I mean who likes having sex anyway, especially a horny just-out-of college kid with the sex appeal of a mis-shapened Gnu or Otis eating two keno crayons (which is gold, please go check out the video). But, you do it anyway and later on you can remiss about the experience and chalk it up to “gaining experience”.

But does gaining experience get you an iPod?

I gave it a good run yesterday in the iPod Bloggerpod give away despite cards that would make a collective studio audience sigh and groan for the taping of the show. And with the exception of the last hand, I played aggressively and was rewarded for the aggression even winning a coin flip and a 60-40! My 10th place finish was disappointing due to not listening to the buzzing of my instincts and calling off the rest of my chips into a made monster.

And unlike that night at the bar many years ago, I didn’t get a happy ending this time. I even tried to hit up the wife for sympathy and got peck on the forehead like I needed some chicken soup and a coloring-by-the-numbers book before going to bed. I think spouses are harder to seduce then random bar chick, I’d be willing to bet if you’d go $300K in debt for that leggy blonde on the perched bar stool, she’d probably say “put it where ever you want” in appreciation. With the spouse you’re just hoping she doesn’t kick your ass and expect you do rub her feet with the latest Bath and Body Works soothing lotion (yes this includes my infamous peppermint scented lotion, for the love of all that is unholy, don’t try that at home while reading the latest issue of FHM with Amanda Beard, just take my word for it that it stings and makes you want to cry).

Not all was lost on the weekend, as I made a purchase of poker trophy number three (I didn't have my camera so here's a generic picture).

Getting around at the cabin will be much easier now, not to mention just in time for the guys’ weekend up there. Ah, yes a whole weekend of golf, cards, golf, stories about picking up women in bars, drinking, golf, cards, and some fun at the annual casino night that the resort throws.

All games are a quarter, blackjack, roulette, modified craps, pick-a-number (from dice, not National Lampoon style). Drink as much as you can bring, and having fun is the only rule. Its micro stakes but you’re not there for the money, it’s an excellent way to blow off some steam and just enjoy the company while gambling on a roll of quarters for an entire night. I’ve gone three times and have never been disappointed with the low-rollin’ fun. Hey, there’s even free potato chips!

Thanks for dropping by, now please check out Otis’ Pokerstars blog so he doesn’t have to resort to downing the other 63 colors of crayons. The author of the video of course needs no props but I’ll pimp Dr. Pauly’s gonzo reporting as once again he shines a fresh perspective on the WSOP bettering his excellent coverage of last year, that and he's always a sucker for taking losing prop bets on the Yankees.

And last but not least these lovely ladies have traveled to the dark side to freshen up Party Poker’s blog with the infamous Dan M. and represent Party Poker’s only English speaking employees!

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