Saying No Is Hard To Do

When I pulled into the open company parking lot this morning with just eight cars that would soon become over 500 and used a turn signal with nary another automobile running and had to back track to retrieve my awful picture badge after reaching the revolving door of the building it was another reminder.  A hint of the wear-and-tear that my eyes tell and body laboring a bit after a good stretch of work and school has left me in need of a disconnect.

It killed me to turn down someone who I doubt I've no to in two years, as I had to tell both gigs this was planned a month and a half ago.  No PokerStarsBlog, no Bluff Magazine, no laptop, only a cell phone with a number that only a few know will be open for texting me to share a drink or give me a conversation topic for the late night bonfires.  My black Toshiba Satellite will rest on top of the $2.99 beige foam support on the couch where my ass imprint is quite profound after two months while covering SCOOP, extra PokerStars Sunday Majors reporting, school. and the World Series of Poker.  No working thru the night and into this dark cubical where the lights haven't been lit as the parking lot mentioned above remains relatively bare.  General ledger analysis and highlighting text will need until next week when school starts up again.

This weekend was cleared to give my wife a husband for a solid five days since our real 10th year anniversary in a few months is surrounded by family obligations, work, and school.  Being off-the-grid will give no excuses to miss out on the Saturday four-man best-ball tourney or taking four kids in my golf cart up to the clubhouse for the best $1 swirled ice cream waffle cone you can find within 15 minutes of the Wisconsin border.  While it killed me to say no to work projects that I love, my son gave me a little perspective of how much I've been heads-down on my 15" monitor this summer.  He asked "daddy, do you have to go home early to work again?". 

"Not this time buddy". 

I'll see you Tuesday, and with any luck, I'll be rested but hungover.

Thing Flips

Instead of the daily posting that I'd like to be mumbling out its been "let's see what I can type in the 15-30 minutes of free time".

---

The extended "vacation" at the trailer/cabin for Labor Day was parts relaxing and parts non-stop partying. Whether it was taking the kids to the overflowing pool ladened with illegal teens wearing something that constituted as a bikini. Yes, I looked and yes I have aisle seat to hell thank you very much. The sheer amount of tramp stamps also viewed has me looking into a trailer trash safely vault for my prized daughter as I'll be the one shaking my head in 10 years (please make it a loooooooooong 10 years) as I'll get the speech about how Bobbi-with-an-i got the ancient Japanese word for rice cake tattoo'd across her ass cheeks yesterday and she wants one too.

There are also a dose of cliches waddling around like the 350 lbs. woman (I think) donning a living room drape with the words "I don't think you're getting lucky tonight". After seeing that, I didn't feel at all lucky.

But, freaks aside there's no place in the summer I'd rather be that doesn't contain overflowing Pai Gow Poker tables and LA douchebags looking to score at Sapphire with that one stripper who might come back to their hotel room after a couple grand in lap dances and $35 Captain and Cokes. The economical play would have been to hit up the hooker bar at the casino and get laid minus the glitter of course.

The quarter carnvial with mini-donuts, mini games, mini rides and mini golf suited both the kids and parents senses and wallets with promises of easily breakable light-up toys in exchange for a dash of skill. The park's yearly end-of-the-season activity closes the books on weekend drinking and flailing asleep on undersized beds for 6'4" semi-pro pinball players.

Get your game going if you think you can hang at Addam's Family pinball this December WPBT-go'ers. Tour the mansion and sparkly initials added? Yes sir. Annoyed looked from five people waiting to play? Go check out that Pole Position game in the corner or put a wager on the machine sir.

---

Today marks the boy's journey into big boy school as his first day of first grade and all-day school attendance starts after walking into the bus on the corner of 69th and Hemlock. My hopes are as always that he keeps his spirits high and continues to be friendly to anyone within an earshot and doesn't fail where I did at that age.

Elementary school is something I've always looked back at with contempt as the skinny bookworm with a hearing disablity who tried to ingrain himself into some group of people only to find the library, home, and baseball diamonds after school as a place of solace. He has two good ears (as checked throughly yearly) but the acquired big blue eyes and smile from his father which hopefully will get a few smiles in return along with youthful friendship that I lacked growing up.

Good luck Wyatt, may you keep your smile and share it so others can enjoy it as much as your parents do.

---

A quick Fantasy Football Draft question for those who still gather up their friends for a live draft:

Is every year a cluster-fuck of "OMG THAT WASN'T IN THE RULES?!?!" and other massive disagreements that take two hours longer then it should have to solve.

As always the food and drink provided by my friend BJ soothed the volleying of draft order, keepers, and points arguments but starting at five and ending somewhere around 10:30 shouldn't happen for a league of close friends that throw in $25.

The warm wrap of relaxation

Spring time again for the first time in a long time but not the last time. Everyone has a place they go to recharge from the doucherockets that attempt to pry on your sanity at work by placing that spreadsheet on your desk with just minimal direction as what needs to be done that you sit and stare at it like the cells just ate your dog.

Much like your wife, these people assume you have ESP and already had the report hammered out in your mind by the time they’re back at their desk playing Bejeweled Blitz trying to beat out that TV station news director’s newest hi-score he attained during the five o’clock broadcast. But, those people were not in attendance at my home away from home this weekend, instead it was filled with family and friends who know how to grill animals with just the right amount of barbeque sauce and can successfully take an alone-bid to the house playing Euchre while sipping hastily created alcoholic beverages.

The sun was out, the wind was out, stress was gone. The bonfire was set to stare into sometimes alone, sometimes with debating the latest nanny-state abomination in my favorite place to live. The red-hot coals readied for popping corn or to formulate elaborate caverns for miniature spelunkers to explore while avoiding nasty trollocs and dark elves in search for the +5 Blade of Awesomeness.

There’s no schedule to follow except to pour the Captain Morgan in first over the ice, stir in the Coke and dash with a little lime on top when the glass needed a refill. Choosing to immerse myself into the fantasy world of a good book, or try to get my boy to understand that he shouldn’t try to become the first six year old DH and learn how to field a grounder. Those are the only choices at the cabin.

We’ll have to wait until Memorial Day weekend to fire up another marathon game of Chinese Poker with the crackle of embers just below the steps. “Something to look forward to” as another busy week begins.

My personal favorite of this past weekend? Being able to hold a conversation without saying "what?" every second word. The gift of hearing will continue to be unwrapped and cherished each time I get to open it.

Thanks.

Squirrels on Midol

It didn't happen. Lost my last buy-in to a fun group of bloggers.

Poker is done for this week and possibly for a good length of time, except I might pop in on the Bodoggie a few times ( this week with Josh Arieh and $100 bounty on his head!) and one or two Battle of the Blogger tourneys.

A torrid stretch that has left me with online scraps that have really hurt my time at home and the office.

I'm taking the game too seriously again and resign myself to chasing purple coins on Super Mario Galaxy at the request of a four year old, or flicking off Tom Morello every time he defeats me on Guitar Hero. Or my new/old found habit of falling asleep with a R.A. Salvatore novel like last night while watching UNC destroy the Razorbacks and watching my last place bracket in Pauly's pool continue to get worse (but I do have the most possible points should some miracle occur).

This weekend we went to stake our cabin lot out for the pending delivery of the new love shack and found a woodland creature transformed herself into a 3-inch wide drill bit and bore a good sized hole into our shed. I say herself because only a woman with PMS after seeing her Chip come home with the intoxicating aroma of baby powder and Jack Daniels with glitter on his crotch, could have worked up the anger neccessary to do this.

Next time I'd hope this lady-folk could find a different outlet for her temper as the clean up and repair will take up time normally reserved for dripping rum over ice cubes and Coke while double snunking my wife in a game of cribbage.

On the bright side of the ledger, we took the kids with us to the cabin for an easter egg hunt the park was putting on at 10:30am. Unfortunately, due to road conditions better suited for mid-December we arrived at 10:40am and got the same answer as someone trying to order an Egg McMuffin after the pre-determined time of switching from breakfast to lunch. Despite having only a few more teeth then your favorite National Hockey League thug, her kindness of dropping by our place about 15 minutes later with a Cub's Food marked bag full of plastic eggs that rattled with coins and chocolates put some faith back into me.

Thanks for dropping by, now hit up the Hoy tonight as the last week to get that first $2,000 seat to the WSOP is up for grabs.

Drunk Trailer Trash > Drunk Poker

Had I not gone to the WSOP last year and seen up front the madness of the tourney, I would give serious thought to playing. I am however giving serious consideration to going out there for the PLO8 cash games on my own dime and give some hard working media-types a smile or two.

But, the trailer will give new memories for years to come whereas a dank chair and some clay chips next to strung out over-hyped ego-centric poker players would probably turn me off this game for good. I play to have fun and drink a little, not to acquire a sponsorship from a poker site (but if the makers of Captain Morgan wanted to send me... YARRRRRRRRRR!!)

Maybe its the reason I would never want to win a big tourney because I would have reached the unreachable and have nothing to play for anymore (who likes winning five figures in the 50-50 anyway?!?! Grats to Hoy). Currently, I play because friends are lurking in the girly chat boxes and because I enjoy taking $200-$300 nightly swings when my bankroll is only a shade healthier then Mitt Romney's presidental campaign. I may need to bring back mid-week drinking again.

Here are the two trailers we're looking at:

Love train #1

Love train #2

YES! NO! NO! YESSSSSSSSSSSSs! I think if my wife was awake while I was playing last night she probably thought I was betting on a college basketball game while enjoying fake first-time lesbian porn versus the yo-yo Omaha games on my laptop that nearly doubled my Full Tilt bankroll then threatened to leave me with scraps.

Omaha tip #1123: If someone types "You can't expect me to fold Kings pre-flop with a flush draw can you?", note this person and enjoy his/her money when the 30% doesn't hit.

Tonight the folks at RakeBrain.com are putting on a blogger challenge with a few people known to this part of the interwebs. Please drop by and taunt DP when he decides three pair is a really really good hand. I believe the start time is 5 CST which means I gotta avoid any traffic on the way home using my snow plow to jack that retro purple colored VW Bug over a bridge to make the first hand. If I miss the round of Hold Em', I probably would do better anyway :)

On Wednesday, a unique tournament will take place at Full Tilt Poker. Myself, and a few of Internet’s best poker authors, are going to play a two table sit’n’go and determine who the best poker blogger is … best at playing poker that is. Not writing.

The tournament is sponsored by RakeBrain.com and has the slightly narcissistic name LeCheese Challenge. We’ll play a mixture of Texas Hold’em and Omaha, both in pot-limit format, with stacks a bit deeper than normal. That combination requires a lot of poker skills and it’ll be impossible to go all in all the time. Instead, we have to see flops! Something certain poker players don’t like.

I really look forward to this – $500 to the winner and $100 to the player who knocks me out, if anyone manages to accomplish that.

Participating poker bloggers so far:



John - BadBlood
Drizztdj - Nickle and Dimes
Byron - Biggestron Writes
Scott - Doubleas
Dave - PokerKingBlog
Jason Turner - TripJax
John - SeattleJohnPoker
Jeff - DonkeyPuncher
MrSubliminal - MrSubliminal

Two of the most prominent RakeBrain players will also participate in LeCheese Challenge: JJProdigys Gran and td8507.

Fellow poker bloggers; those are the players we’ve got to take down to stand a chance. I know they play quite a lot of poker – maybe more than all of us combined.

$20 last longer he-who-punches-donkeys?