Wednesday, June 01, 2005


Do you hear the clock?

Its telling you something....

No, the TiVo will handle recording The Golden Girls marthaton on TV Land for you.


Everyone else is typing out their itineraries, why not join the crowd?

Thursday - June 2nd:

- Leave: Minneapolis-St. Paul (Were the two cities married at one time and got a divorce? Nevermind.) at 4:30pm
- Arrive: Las Vegas around 6:00pm
- Grab a cab/shuttle to The Plaza Hotel
- See the remains of Joe's welcoming party at the front doors, grab a noise maker and get a disappointing stare down from the local nickel slot jockeys
- Look around the casino and poker room for possible blogger sightings
- Get kicked in the shin by disapproving wife for not bringing the luggage up to the room first
- Play nickel slot on the way up to the room
- Hate self for breaking the one rule I had about this trip, receive another shin kicking
- Drop off luggage to have dinner with the wife
- After wife declares she's too tired, find bloggers who are not passed out or broke yet
- Spot Al in a Man YOOO uniform at the craps table, inquire about the mob of waitresses waiting to serve him
- Try not to blow entire bankroll for the weekend on the first night by playing $1 Blackjack
- Get drunk and start playing $25 Pai Gow Poker

Friday - June 3rd

- Wake up and immediately rush downstairs before McDonald's stops serving breakfast
- Remember vaguely why there's a seems to be a draft in the room while waiting in line
- Run back upstairs for clothes, out running the rent-a-cops
- Come back downstairs, order one McGriddle, Hash Brown, Cream Cheese Danish, and a Milk
- Play another nickel slot on the way back up to the room, DAMN IT
- Find some poker playing degenerates, join in a quick game, promptly order a rum and coke
- Head to the Rio with bloggers to cheer on our horses in the race to get interviewed by Norman Chad!
- Watch Helmuth get thrown out of the tourney when Bobby Bracelet's hammer outkicks Phil's 62o causing Phil to throw his iPod and glasses at the dealer
- 10 pm after several hours and more rum and cokes then the body should handle, I have a huge stack of $1 chips on a 1-3 spread table at the Excalibur... only because I bought in for $600 - On the way to the bathroom for the 15th time I play a Reel Em' In nickel slot (CMON PEOPLE HELP ME HERE!!!)
- Remembering the tournament tomorrow I head out to catch a cab back to the Plaza
- Sunshine?!?!?!? Inquire a fellow tourist for the time, find out its 8:30am Saturday

Saturday - June 4th

- After downing a quart of milk and a quick McGriddle, I arrive to see the soon-to-be-disappointed SC crew already playing cash games in the Aladdin poker room
- 10am the cards are in the air for WPBT Aladdin!
- 10:02am I thank the poker gods for bringing back the bouncy waitress from my previous trip, promptly order a rum and coke
- 10:06am table starts to get irritated that I haven't played my first hand yet while still staring at the waitress
- 10:08am bust out on first hand thinking I had a nut flush but was too busy ogling at previously mentioned waitress and forgot my cards
- Go play Animal House slots right outside of the poker room (INTERVENTION NEEDED HERE!!)
- Grubby sits down next to me, thus forcing me to play even longer
- Head over to Imperial Palace with WPBT winner Chad to play some $2/$4 before the tequila-fest, and try to earn another free lunch
- Chip runner quietly informs me that $600 is too much to play $2/$4, I advise her that I've never played before but I did watch the WPT the other night and the key to winning was to have a big stack and the ability to stare people down
- Local rock gets upset when take too much time chatting with the waitress from Brooklyn Park, MN about why Benchwarmer Bob's bar (my favorite hang out in college) went out of business in her hometown
- I tip the rock a $1 to shut the hell up, this causes the rock to leave while cursing the stupid tourists that ruin this town
- Tequila! I munch down on as many lime-flavored chips that I can find because nothing goes better with Tequila shooters (minus the insects please)
- End up with a hot load of ass-throwup due to dipping said lime-flavored chips into the nuclear salsa, finishing two bowls
- Climb into a random car hoping I get back downtown to play some craps with the bloggers
- Get woken up by the wife in the Sportsbook of the Plaza who inquires about the body glitter and hot pink g-string around my neck

Sunday - June 4th

- Hear sobbing and a thud as my casket reaches its desired depth, I wonder there's a nickel slot to play down here...

See you there folks :)

Thanks for dropping by, now go here to find book on how you can be a winner playing slots!!

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