Real life was put on the back burner for the past week or so, but still managed to squeeze a trip to the trailer, birthday party for my princess, and a mother's day breakfast for 20 that people surrounded me while I closed the books after working thru the night on some donkey who overplayed pocket deuces for SCOOP at the PokerStarsBlog.
I have a post about the past week swirling at the moment but remaining upright without a case of Sobe energy or other pharmmies that are on the FDA's approved list is a tad taxing at the moment.
Instead I encourage you to read something much more substantial and worth a few minutes to read and re-read: This month's edition of Truckin'.
If you read here (and maybe that guy in the #5 slot has wrote something here before), I'm sure there's a few familar faces popping up in this month's edition between the dick extension and tranny call girl ads:
1. Uncle Louie by Paul McGuire
He used to be full of life and love and generosity, but no more. These days, he was capable of saying horrendous things that made you feel like you were three inches tall. He had the madness of an angry blind dog... More
2. State Line by AlCantHang
It has never once failed me when I yell "OY!" and look like I'm going to eat your next born. People generally shrink away even though I barely reach 5-foot-nothing. Not once in my life had it failed, that is, until the "old dude" took a fucking swing at my gourd... More
3. If You're Gonna Lose, Lose Big by Broseph
I was starring at their boobs and I got the idea of maybe trying some threesome action. It's a tough bridge to cross, and I had no idea where to start. I decided to just start making out with Gwen and hoped that would work... More
4. American Hero by Dawn Summers
The skies were just this shade of pitch black at nine in the morning. The rain was slamming against my windows. And the wind, oh the wind huffed and puffed and tried to blow my house down... More
5. Self by Drizz
With a "normal" middle-income life that most Americans live grinding out work for the man and making enough scratch to satisfy the needs and wants, there’s hardly time to take a step back and enjoy this existence... More
6. In Between Fighting Souls by Tenzin McGrupp
My quagmire of a life resembles
A wretched Fox sitcom,
A Shakespeare play,
A black and white Woody Allen film.
Except that Joey Buttafucco is the lead actor
And stands forty-five pounds overweight... More
Showing posts with label Truckin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Truckin. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Truckin' Now With Riboflavin!
While I sit in pain from aging athlete disease, another part of my anatomy decided to feel the pull of recent events. No, that part is working fine as re-discovered every morning in the shower while virtual glimps Jessica Biel's be-thonged ass are still freshly implanted in my mind. While my shoulder has decided to start crying out daily for a dose of Advil, the learning part of the soft mass uptop is getting a healthy RDA approved amount of knowledge.
The classes are going slowly but well through the first week, as this busy bee is enjoying the time behind a dense Accounting book. The online nature of the classroom has some taking used to, but very welcome for someone in my position as I get to flick on the classroom when I want and not have to have the professor repeat his/her lecture or worry about mis-hearing information.
In a sense. Perfect.
Now if you need some brain juice this morning or afternoon whenever you dear reader get around to reading these pages, Truckin out for all the vitamins and minerals for the thing you call an information storage center needs to stay in top shape. Especially those of us who could use some witty banter besides the debit and credits within Income Statements, Cash Flow Statements, and Balance Sheets. Holy shit, I retained somethin' I read, 14 years in Accounting and never had to know/learn the basic finanical statements, well played bullseye.
Anyways, on to the show:
1. Lovers' Whirlwind by Paul McGuire
I don't know if you want to know the real answer. You're a new arrival. It's not proper to ask all these questions on your first day. The real answers are not important... More
2. The Dog Lover by Sigge S. Amdal
I had a chat with my pet fish and decided to check out the local pet store to see if they had frozen larvae – a delicious to hungry Kili fish that'll make 'em fornicate like swine given the opportunity... More
3. A Hermit Faces the Drunken Public by Jonny Vincent
People are still - generically - boring as all fuck. Guys are still - generically - pathetic in their desperate and pitiful sleazy crabbing for attention when placed in the vicinity of the Unfair Sex... More
4. Pie by Katitude
Her gray hair was caught up in a bun that had become untidy and thin wisps had escaped it to frame a pale face. A much-washed pastel pink t-shirt proclaimed her to be the "World's Greatest Grandma"... More
5. Crazy Colonel Ranald MacKenzie by Johnny Hughes
In the scene in Dances With Wolves where Kevin Costner rides around between rebel and union lines trying to get shot, that was based on Crazy Ranald. He was brave like only a crazy man can be. He got shot with bullets and arrows. He was also called Bad Hand because he lost two fingers in combat... More
6. Hip-Cat Jargon by Tenzin McGrupp
I secured a one-way rental. $300 for the week. Would it take me a week? Maybe more? I had no idea. I'd probably want to make a couple of spontaneous stops along the way. My new life in California would have to wait a couple of days, maybe a couple of weeks. Who knows, maybe I wouldn't even end up there at all... More
The classes are going slowly but well through the first week, as this busy bee is enjoying the time behind a dense Accounting book. The online nature of the classroom has some taking used to, but very welcome for someone in my position as I get to flick on the classroom when I want and not have to have the professor repeat his/her lecture or worry about mis-hearing information.
In a sense. Perfect.
Now if you need some brain juice this morning or afternoon whenever you dear reader get around to reading these pages, Truckin out for all the vitamins and minerals for the thing you call an information storage center needs to stay in top shape. Especially those of us who could use some witty banter besides the debit and credits within Income Statements, Cash Flow Statements, and Balance Sheets. Holy shit, I retained somethin' I read, 14 years in Accounting and never had to know/learn the basic finanical statements, well played bullseye.
Anyways, on to the show:
1. Lovers' Whirlwind by Paul McGuire
I don't know if you want to know the real answer. You're a new arrival. It's not proper to ask all these questions on your first day. The real answers are not important... More
2. The Dog Lover by Sigge S. Amdal
I had a chat with my pet fish and decided to check out the local pet store to see if they had frozen larvae – a delicious to hungry Kili fish that'll make 'em fornicate like swine given the opportunity... More
3. A Hermit Faces the Drunken Public by Jonny Vincent
People are still - generically - boring as all fuck. Guys are still - generically - pathetic in their desperate and pitiful sleazy crabbing for attention when placed in the vicinity of the Unfair Sex... More
4. Pie by Katitude
Her gray hair was caught up in a bun that had become untidy and thin wisps had escaped it to frame a pale face. A much-washed pastel pink t-shirt proclaimed her to be the "World's Greatest Grandma"... More
5. Crazy Colonel Ranald MacKenzie by Johnny Hughes
In the scene in Dances With Wolves where Kevin Costner rides around between rebel and union lines trying to get shot, that was based on Crazy Ranald. He was brave like only a crazy man can be. He got shot with bullets and arrows. He was also called Bad Hand because he lost two fingers in combat... More
6. Hip-Cat Jargon by Tenzin McGrupp
I secured a one-way rental. $300 for the week. Would it take me a week? Maybe more? I had no idea. I'd probably want to make a couple of spontaneous stops along the way. My new life in California would have to wait a couple of days, maybe a couple of weeks. Who knows, maybe I wouldn't even end up there at all... More
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thursdays are for Truckin
** With new templates abound by some of the "older" bloggers out there, I'd love to know how to go about getting some life into this here blog (besides my dead "writing" of course. If any web-heads or people who know such people, I'm willing to part with a couple of bucks for a new look, let me know via email found on the right **
If you didn't know by now that the latest Truckin is out, you have issues and should have a doctor or a doctor look at that for you (careful though, only of them knows his left from his right, but I'd rather have one over the other in the emergency room should I ever get the need to pull a Tiger Woods and get bludggeoned by a 27 oz. Worth softball bat):
1. Purple Pajamas by Paul McGuire
"A girl from Texas once told me that grasshoppers were lucky," said Lucien as he balanced his guitar on his leg and leaned into the microphone. "I didn't believe her. I used to kill 'em whenever I came across 'em."... More
2. Jonny, No H by Sigge S. Amdal
I needed a cabbie, and I needed it fast 'fore anyone wrong around me would pay any notice. This is a dog-eat-dog kind of town as soon as the bar closes and all the police of central Oslo has left somewhere else entirely, never there when you need them and especially there when you don't... More
3. Fire Confession by Chris Hall
The completely rational part of my brain drowned in a sea of paranoia as I frantically flapped my t-shirt underneath the alarm trying to stop it from going off. I couldn't really see any smoke, but this was an expensive hotel, maybe it had very sensitive fire-alarms that could detect it easily, but my alarm was going off. Ergo, it must be my fault... More
4. Kankakee by Change100
Well, there were a lot of tractors in these parts and for a moment there, I felt like I was in the opening scene of a slasher movie, the naïve girl being lured in by seemingly folksy farmers who then proceed to hack her to pieces and sell off her organs to smugglers... More
5. Those Grifting O'Malleys by Johnny Hughes
I parked the car, and walked over the bridge to Mexico. In a half a block, I bought a whiskey and coke for a nickel. It didn't take much to get me drunk, being only my fourth of fifth time. I bought this big sombrero, and two fifths of fancy, but cheap champagne. That was a mistake, because I had to carry them everywhere, and if I wore the sombrero, folks would hoorah me... More
If you didn't know by now that the latest Truckin is out, you have issues and should have a doctor or a doctor look at that for you (careful though, only of them knows his left from his right, but I'd rather have one over the other in the emergency room should I ever get the need to pull a Tiger Woods and get bludggeoned by a 27 oz. Worth softball bat):
1. Purple Pajamas by Paul McGuire
"A girl from Texas once told me that grasshoppers were lucky," said Lucien as he balanced his guitar on his leg and leaned into the microphone. "I didn't believe her. I used to kill 'em whenever I came across 'em."... More
2. Jonny, No H by Sigge S. Amdal
I needed a cabbie, and I needed it fast 'fore anyone wrong around me would pay any notice. This is a dog-eat-dog kind of town as soon as the bar closes and all the police of central Oslo has left somewhere else entirely, never there when you need them and especially there when you don't... More
3. Fire Confession by Chris Hall
The completely rational part of my brain drowned in a sea of paranoia as I frantically flapped my t-shirt underneath the alarm trying to stop it from going off. I couldn't really see any smoke, but this was an expensive hotel, maybe it had very sensitive fire-alarms that could detect it easily, but my alarm was going off. Ergo, it must be my fault... More
4. Kankakee by Change100
Well, there were a lot of tractors in these parts and for a moment there, I felt like I was in the opening scene of a slasher movie, the naïve girl being lured in by seemingly folksy farmers who then proceed to hack her to pieces and sell off her organs to smugglers... More
5. Those Grifting O'Malleys by Johnny Hughes
I parked the car, and walked over the bridge to Mexico. In a half a block, I bought a whiskey and coke for a nickel. It didn't take much to get me drunk, being only my fourth of fifth time. I bought this big sombrero, and two fifths of fancy, but cheap champagne. That was a mistake, because I had to carry them everywhere, and if I wore the sombrero, folks would hoorah me... More
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Cautious Splurging
Today I resign the blogging floor to Truckin' since there only so many homerisms I can expell about the Vikings. Actually there's several more paragraphs to fill but people don't come here for Vikings insight as much as to listen to a good hearted rant or about my horrible poker play.
Speaking of which many folks are breaking out their 2010 poker spreadsheets already and recapping last year. My stats? Hell if I know, the most information I'd get is from a place like Official Poker Rankings (and I'm sure its not pretty). Or that I played two live tournaments last year with one lasting 15 minutes and the other 15 hours. There a fancy Excel spreadsheet and tattered notebook I used to use back before the UIGEA came out and there was an actual bankroll online that allowed me to play the stakes I'd become semi-profitible at. Since then, we got a new kitchen, I got bionic ears, and paid off a good chunk of the summer trailer leaving scraps online. Enough to play the very small donkaments and practice bad bankroll management while multi-tabling the $50 NL/PLO8 tables but nothing more.
Sure this summer the bankroll got a hefty boost from the Binion tourney chop, but when my wife earns half as much for three months out of the year that money is better spent on day-to-day things versus shoving a premium hand preflop against the crack-addled regulars at the NLO8 tables who don't even blink at losing five buy-ins from flipping coins. If I ever had to explain to my wife why slim edges in Omaha need to be exploited in the long run after dropping three buy-ins, I'd quit.
Luckily that money is separate from the house funds so if I were to bust, it would hurt the extracurricular activities and life would move on without poker for a while.
Another reason the funds are getting stretched? It's our 10th anniversary this year and I'd like to do something special for the wife as she selected Vegas as our mutual gift (but WE mutually paid with MY winnings, funny our marriage works like that). Since we're staying at the MGM Grand I have heard of something called "Prima" which is account which you plug in $500.00 and get "high-roller perks" including 2 for 1 dinners and drinks, upgraded room, happy ending mutual massages by Jessica Biel look-a-likes, etc...
What Jessica Biel may look like
I don't mind overspending a bit, but is the program worth it or is that money better spent elseware like for lap dances at Sapphire and ice cream at the Gold Coast after? Remember I'm steak and potatoes/Captain Morgan not Steak Frites/Cristal) fine dining isn't something I do without a Nardi brother pointing out wine selections and how good the salmon spread or pork rinds are.
Anyway on with the blogzine from Dr. Pauly!
January 2010, Vol. 9, Issue 1
New year.
New issue of Truckin'.
Let's kick of 2010 with two new faces.
1. Tubes Under Sand by Paul McGuire The massive and elaborate tunnel system was cluttered with insane Vietnam vets eating black widow spiders, heroin addicts shooting up in the darkness, and methheads cooking up a new batch of Nazi crank... More
2. No Era Mi Intención (I Meant No Harm) by Sean T. KellyWe weren't the only local wildlife in that town, population 237. Hawks circled overhead hunting for prey. Iguanas scurried aimlessly across the sidewalks heading for the security of the underbrush... More
3. Unpublished by Anonymous He could look away from the noose he's woven. He could find something else into which he can comfortably slip. He has the power and he's done it before... More
4. Down the Upward Staircase by George TateBebop was one of those guys kind of handicapped in the girl department. He had been shy all his life and never a ladies man. He wasn't strange or picky. He always looked at the girls and when he couldn't go anymore would find his pick in a massage parlor or on his running board... More
5. Dispatches from Miami: The Lot by Paul McGuire Deviant derelicts crawl out of the shadows and invading the parade of freaks. That's when the inmates eventually take over the asylum... More
Speaking of which many folks are breaking out their 2010 poker spreadsheets already and recapping last year. My stats? Hell if I know, the most information I'd get is from a place like Official Poker Rankings (and I'm sure its not pretty). Or that I played two live tournaments last year with one lasting 15 minutes and the other 15 hours. There a fancy Excel spreadsheet and tattered notebook I used to use back before the UIGEA came out and there was an actual bankroll online that allowed me to play the stakes I'd become semi-profitible at. Since then, we got a new kitchen, I got bionic ears, and paid off a good chunk of the summer trailer leaving scraps online. Enough to play the very small donkaments and practice bad bankroll management while multi-tabling the $50 NL/PLO8 tables but nothing more.
Sure this summer the bankroll got a hefty boost from the Binion tourney chop, but when my wife earns half as much for three months out of the year that money is better spent on day-to-day things versus shoving a premium hand preflop against the crack-addled regulars at the NLO8 tables who don't even blink at losing five buy-ins from flipping coins. If I ever had to explain to my wife why slim edges in Omaha need to be exploited in the long run after dropping three buy-ins, I'd quit.
Luckily that money is separate from the house funds so if I were to bust, it would hurt the extracurricular activities and life would move on without poker for a while.
Another reason the funds are getting stretched? It's our 10th anniversary this year and I'd like to do something special for the wife as she selected Vegas as our mutual gift (but WE mutually paid with MY winnings, funny our marriage works like that). Since we're staying at the MGM Grand I have heard of something called "Prima" which is account which you plug in $500.00 and get "high-roller perks" including 2 for 1 dinners and drinks, upgraded room, happy ending mutual massages by Jessica Biel look-a-likes, etc...
What Jessica Biel may look like
I don't mind overspending a bit, but is the program worth it or is that money better spent elseware like for lap dances at Sapphire and ice cream at the Gold Coast after? Remember I'm steak and potatoes/Captain Morgan not Steak Frites/Cristal) fine dining isn't something I do without a Nardi brother pointing out wine selections and how good the salmon spread or pork rinds are.
Anyway on with the blogzine from Dr. Pauly!
January 2010, Vol. 9, Issue 1
New year.
New issue of Truckin'.
Let's kick of 2010 with two new faces.
1. Tubes Under Sand by Paul McGuire The massive and elaborate tunnel system was cluttered with insane Vietnam vets eating black widow spiders, heroin addicts shooting up in the darkness, and methheads cooking up a new batch of Nazi crank... More
2. No Era Mi Intención (I Meant No Harm) by Sean T. KellyWe weren't the only local wildlife in that town, population 237. Hawks circled overhead hunting for prey. Iguanas scurried aimlessly across the sidewalks heading for the security of the underbrush... More
3. Unpublished by Anonymous He could look away from the noose he's woven. He could find something else into which he can comfortably slip. He has the power and he's done it before... More
4. Down the Upward Staircase by George TateBebop was one of those guys kind of handicapped in the girl department. He had been shy all his life and never a ladies man. He wasn't strange or picky. He always looked at the girls and when he couldn't go anymore would find his pick in a massage parlor or on his running board... More
5. Dispatches from Miami: The Lot by Paul McGuire Deviant derelicts crawl out of the shadows and invading the parade of freaks. That's when the inmates eventually take over the asylum... More
Thursday, December 24, 2009
What Did I Ever Do To Waffles?
Sorry Vikes fans, but the ultimate cooler has selected our team to win against the Bears this week.
Guess we'll enjoy being 11-4 and another week of Favre vs. Childress soap operas.
Sigh.
On a better note the new Truckin is out!
December 2009, Vol. 8, Issue 12
Welcome back to the new semi-Holiday issue of Truckin'.
1. Stiff Santa by Paul McGuire The Beverly Center had one strict rule -- never under any circumstances remove the bunny head in public. That would mortify young children. Josh turned to Ritalin to solve his problems... More
2. Christmas Money for Misty by Johnny Hughes Misty laid her best story on Sam, her road story. She was temporarily broke, like most casino folks, but she was to inherit the historic Morgan Ranch, 473 oil wells, 47,000 acres, and a bunch of cows in the Texas panhandle... More
3. The Hobby by Milton Burton The driver himself was a small-time coke pusher and wannabe heavy metal musician named Ronnie DeLoach who would never make it big, partly because he was void of any real musical talent. But mostly this sad fact could be attributed to his very limited life span... More
4. Dick-Hole, Part II by Bobby Bracelet Most guys will yank it twenty times a week but they won't feel their balls for lumps. I see it all the time... More
5. Absence of Fear by George Tate The turns became hard to handle and Gatlin knew it wouldn't take much to be over a guard rail and down the side on his back, load, tractor, and all. He suddenly cleared his mind and focused on the words, "Turn off the engine, that's it."... More
Guess we'll enjoy being 11-4 and another week of Favre vs. Childress soap operas.
Sigh.
On a better note the new Truckin is out!
December 2009, Vol. 8, Issue 12
Welcome back to the new semi-Holiday issue of Truckin'.
1. Stiff Santa by Paul McGuire The Beverly Center had one strict rule -- never under any circumstances remove the bunny head in public. That would mortify young children. Josh turned to Ritalin to solve his problems... More
2. Christmas Money for Misty by Johnny Hughes Misty laid her best story on Sam, her road story. She was temporarily broke, like most casino folks, but she was to inherit the historic Morgan Ranch, 473 oil wells, 47,000 acres, and a bunch of cows in the Texas panhandle... More
3. The Hobby by Milton Burton The driver himself was a small-time coke pusher and wannabe heavy metal musician named Ronnie DeLoach who would never make it big, partly because he was void of any real musical talent. But mostly this sad fact could be attributed to his very limited life span... More
4. Dick-Hole, Part II by Bobby Bracelet Most guys will yank it twenty times a week but they won't feel their balls for lumps. I see it all the time... More
5. Absence of Fear by George Tate The turns became hard to handle and Gatlin knew it wouldn't take much to be over a guard rail and down the side on his back, load, tractor, and all. He suddenly cleared his mind and focused on the words, "Turn off the engine, that's it."... More
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tonight We Pimp, Tomorrow We Dance!
WSOP Spoiler: Joe Cada is your 2009 WSOP ME Champ.
Now if you were a good blogger/poker fan then you followed along at PokerNews, PokerStarsBlog, Poker From the Rail, or of course the original Dr. Pauly's Tao of Poker as Darvin Gump went up against a seemingly invincible Joe Cada for the title heads-up. Leads changed, fans got more sloshed and what was supposed to last a few hands went the distance as Joe Cada will represent the new face of poker after his 88 hand heads-up victory over the logger from Maryland.
As I'm typing this ESPN has Schaffel getting de-tainted by Buchman's quad kings. Yuck.
And... the 3s-4s-2d hand, ok I definitely see Begs reason for betting and going all-in with the straight and flush draws and two overs but good god, the fold, hor-r-i-b-l-e (but mathmatically correct if you factor the cards, which you shouldn't, still horrible).
----
Anyway... on to the pimping. Its Truckin' time again! Despite being knee deep in the November Nine hoopla at the Rio, Pauly has his monthly blog-zine up on the stands for consumption (which I'll consume after the kids finish off the popcorn and I finally stop chasing flush draws on the NLO8 tables).
Read on folks:
1. The Stoop by Paul McGuire
I convinced him to meet me at shit hole in the East Village instead of stalking the hooker. He showed up to the bar totally rejected, like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and nailed to his forehead... More
2. A Young Man and Road Gambling by Johnny Hughes
One time coming out of Mexico with my pals, we had the cash stashed for the 300 plus miles home. Smuggling rum brilliantly, we had the backseat floorboard covered in bottles of rum. It was brutally cold, and we had our coats over the rum. The guys in the back had their knees up real high, and we got caught... More
3. Brain Storming by Betty Underground
One comment leads to another and like the winding road that brought him to that beach house, we are all over the mountain of topics that are just 'life'. The non-specific, yet charmed, lives of two souls who have a lot of blanks to fill in and it seemed this time I was doing a lot of the filling-in... More
4. Dick-Hole by Bobby Bracelet
Chlamydia is sort of like the strep throat of the genito-urinary system. It's killed by an antibiotic, but while it's there it causes symptoms that really aren't any worse than strep, just more embarrassing because of the area of the body... More
5. The Ride by George Tate
While fueling he noticed a young long hair in a robe and sandals looking much like a scriptural disciple who had begun to walk across the I-10 bridge then down the east bound ramp towards Phoenix... More
Now if you were a good blogger/poker fan then you followed along at PokerNews, PokerStarsBlog, Poker From the Rail, or of course the original Dr. Pauly's Tao of Poker as Darvin Gump went up against a seemingly invincible Joe Cada for the title heads-up. Leads changed, fans got more sloshed and what was supposed to last a few hands went the distance as Joe Cada will represent the new face of poker after his 88 hand heads-up victory over the logger from Maryland.
As I'm typing this ESPN has Schaffel getting de-tainted by Buchman's quad kings. Yuck.
And... the 3s-4s-2d hand, ok I definitely see Begs reason for betting and going all-in with the straight and flush draws and two overs but good god, the fold, hor-r-i-b-l-e (but mathmatically correct if you factor the cards, which you shouldn't, still horrible).
----
Anyway... on to the pimping. Its Truckin' time again! Despite being knee deep in the November Nine hoopla at the Rio, Pauly has his monthly blog-zine up on the stands for consumption (which I'll consume after the kids finish off the popcorn and I finally stop chasing flush draws on the NLO8 tables).
Read on folks:
1. The Stoop by Paul McGuire
I convinced him to meet me at shit hole in the East Village instead of stalking the hooker. He showed up to the bar totally rejected, like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and nailed to his forehead... More
2. A Young Man and Road Gambling by Johnny Hughes
One time coming out of Mexico with my pals, we had the cash stashed for the 300 plus miles home. Smuggling rum brilliantly, we had the backseat floorboard covered in bottles of rum. It was brutally cold, and we had our coats over the rum. The guys in the back had their knees up real high, and we got caught... More
3. Brain Storming by Betty Underground
One comment leads to another and like the winding road that brought him to that beach house, we are all over the mountain of topics that are just 'life'. The non-specific, yet charmed, lives of two souls who have a lot of blanks to fill in and it seemed this time I was doing a lot of the filling-in... More
4. Dick-Hole by Bobby Bracelet
Chlamydia is sort of like the strep throat of the genito-urinary system. It's killed by an antibiotic, but while it's there it causes symptoms that really aren't any worse than strep, just more embarrassing because of the area of the body... More
5. The Ride by George Tate
While fueling he noticed a young long hair in a robe and sandals looking much like a scriptural disciple who had begun to walk across the I-10 bridge then down the east bound ramp towards Phoenix... More
Thursday, September 17, 2009
The Good Word
Yesterday was very refreshing. There's something about working overnight then hitting the covers for an afternoon that feels cold side of the pillow or feet-hitting-fluffy-carpeting good.
Due to the extra work at PokerStarsBlog yesterday and this coming weekend (Go over and check out our WCOOP recaps!!) for the WCOOP, this page will lag a bit since my co-worker is on leave and hometime is at a premium with Wyatt's soccer team is in full practice/games mode while Kyra starts up gymnastics next week and I'm finishing up my two adult t-ball (softball)leagues there about enough time to check the phone for messages (sorry about that Otis, my phone was dead) and head out to activity #1,945,023.
In other news, busy is good.
There's an enjoyment beyond typed words that I derive from being called on to work since my usual duties consist of keeping numbers alligned and stacking TPS reports alphabetically. My 9 to 5 is not the most thought provoking job in the world but I love the company and it pays the bills. Since I'm a low-level grunt with nothing more than a 2-year degree, professionally I'm stuck with what is given versus outreaching for what could be. Sure, going back to college and picking up a piece of very expensive paper could open a few doors but anyone want a half-deaf manager with a penchant for overplaying aces and tendency to make gag worthy white-boy dance moves everytime there's 80's hair metal music on after a few Captain and Cokes?
Aside from the finances and time that I don't have, there's a million other excuses that could be thrown at this college thing that keeps nipping at me but I rationalize it like this:
I'm happy right now, I'm satisfied where I'm at, and my family is taken care of.
Why throw those things into a spin cycle to be washed at high speeds for the sake of an educational facility to proclaim that I managed to break down a math problem or memorize an equation that will never been used again outside of a test with my name politely written at the top with room and period number.
Until those three things are threatened or in the forseeable future need to be upgraded, there's no desire to complete a bunch of mind-numbing textbook reading just for credits. Learning a new language, improving my writing, learning SQL... those things I'm interested in but don't cover the 8 credits of art history or Calculus III (better known as lets-give-you-one-problem-that-takes-four-pages-of-calculations-to-complete) needed to get a degree.
I'll choose happy for the first time since, ever. My inner-anger is gone (until of course someone brutally cracks my five million outs twice tonight and my laptop ends up embedded in the neighbor's overused hot tub), and for once in my life I don't feel like there's a need to prove myself of anything. Stable job (but need to cross fingers thanks to the economy), good friends that are trusting and trustworthy, and a renewed marriage/family life now that I can be the person they want and I want thanks to my bionic ears and refound need to stay in shape.
Don't worry, there's no attempt to become "born again", as I respect others' faiths, I hold true to the house of the present. As my belief is in family, friends, the angle of the dangle, and good drink with conversations not a book or teachings of the past. I had an old school-mate try turn me to biblical readings and living a more "clean" life. I told him I'd rather live how I want and not limit myself due to 2,000 year old "rules" or interpretation of those rules handed down through a book. I won't get into stances of abortion, homosexuality, etc. etc. because you're going to believe what YOU want, and I'll believe in want I want. To press someone's beliefs on another (unless you have the inside scoop on an NFL line SHARE WITH ME PLEASE) its best to keep it to yourself.
Rant over, feel free to recant and tell me I'm going to burn in hell.
Done blowing sunshine up your asses today. See you tonight as there's no WCOOP on tap for myself, so I'll be murking in the low limit tourney waters with a 52 ounce liquid stress reliever in my right hand.
Cheers.
---
As for what you should be reading... Truckin' is coming back at ya, read the latest issue below, that Human Head poked his Jupiter-sized melon into. I have a story swirling around for the good doctor once the WCOOP madness dies down and the temperatures make it less desirable to step outside for a walk.
1. Tangerine Rockets by Paul McGuire Lennie was an international legend. His father walked away from a plane crash and passed along some of those good luck genes over to Lennie.... More
2. The Red Pill by Sigge S. Amdal She dropped the face and began to cry, as tensions rose around me. The waiters stopped waiting tables, people stopped talking; they were just exchanging knowing glances and judgmental comments... More
3. Fine Tuning by Milton T. Burton He looked perplexed. I slipped my hand beneath my coat, came out with the little silenced .22 Magnum auto, and shot him right in the center of the forehead. The hollow-point bullet exited the back of his skull, making a colorful little jet of blood and brains as it went... More
4. On Scoring by Human Head One look at the eyeliner, eyebrows, gold hoops and herringbone chains, and I knew this was the Angel we were supposed to see. As she drew closer to the door, the tattoo's left little doubt. She didn't say anything. She just looked at me... More
5. The Joys of Gambling by Johnny Hughes Saratoga Springs, New York in August was the gambling capital of America in the 1920s, with the horses, the spa waters, large and ornate casinos, and America's wealthiest citizens in a gilded age, when money and wine were treated like water... More
Due to the extra work at PokerStarsBlog yesterday and this coming weekend (Go over and check out our WCOOP recaps!!) for the WCOOP, this page will lag a bit since my co-worker is on leave and hometime is at a premium with Wyatt's soccer team is in full practice/games mode while Kyra starts up gymnastics next week and I'm finishing up my two adult t-ball (softball)leagues there about enough time to check the phone for messages (sorry about that Otis, my phone was dead) and head out to activity #1,945,023.
In other news, busy is good.
There's an enjoyment beyond typed words that I derive from being called on to work since my usual duties consist of keeping numbers alligned and stacking TPS reports alphabetically. My 9 to 5 is not the most thought provoking job in the world but I love the company and it pays the bills. Since I'm a low-level grunt with nothing more than a 2-year degree, professionally I'm stuck with what is given versus outreaching for what could be. Sure, going back to college and picking up a piece of very expensive paper could open a few doors but anyone want a half-deaf manager with a penchant for overplaying aces and tendency to make gag worthy white-boy dance moves everytime there's 80's hair metal music on after a few Captain and Cokes?
Aside from the finances and time that I don't have, there's a million other excuses that could be thrown at this college thing that keeps nipping at me but I rationalize it like this:
I'm happy right now, I'm satisfied where I'm at, and my family is taken care of.
Why throw those things into a spin cycle to be washed at high speeds for the sake of an educational facility to proclaim that I managed to break down a math problem or memorize an equation that will never been used again outside of a test with my name politely written at the top with room and period number.
Until those three things are threatened or in the forseeable future need to be upgraded, there's no desire to complete a bunch of mind-numbing textbook reading just for credits. Learning a new language, improving my writing, learning SQL... those things I'm interested in but don't cover the 8 credits of art history or Calculus III (better known as lets-give-you-one-problem-that-takes-four-pages-of-calculations-to-complete) needed to get a degree.
I'll choose happy for the first time since, ever. My inner-anger is gone (until of course someone brutally cracks my five million outs twice tonight and my laptop ends up embedded in the neighbor's overused hot tub), and for once in my life I don't feel like there's a need to prove myself of anything. Stable job (but need to cross fingers thanks to the economy), good friends that are trusting and trustworthy, and a renewed marriage/family life now that I can be the person they want and I want thanks to my bionic ears and refound need to stay in shape.
Don't worry, there's no attempt to become "born again", as I respect others' faiths, I hold true to the house of the present. As my belief is in family, friends, the angle of the dangle, and good drink with conversations not a book or teachings of the past. I had an old school-mate try turn me to biblical readings and living a more "clean" life. I told him I'd rather live how I want and not limit myself due to 2,000 year old "rules" or interpretation of those rules handed down through a book. I won't get into stances of abortion, homosexuality, etc. etc. because you're going to believe what YOU want, and I'll believe in want I want. To press someone's beliefs on another (unless you have the inside scoop on an NFL line SHARE WITH ME PLEASE) its best to keep it to yourself.
Rant over, feel free to recant and tell me I'm going to burn in hell.
Done blowing sunshine up your asses today. See you tonight as there's no WCOOP on tap for myself, so I'll be murking in the low limit tourney waters with a 52 ounce liquid stress reliever in my right hand.
Cheers.
---
As for what you should be reading... Truckin' is coming back at ya, read the latest issue below, that Human Head poked his Jupiter-sized melon into. I have a story swirling around for the good doctor once the WCOOP madness dies down and the temperatures make it less desirable to step outside for a walk.
1. Tangerine Rockets by Paul McGuire Lennie was an international legend. His father walked away from a plane crash and passed along some of those good luck genes over to Lennie.... More
2. The Red Pill by Sigge S. Amdal She dropped the face and began to cry, as tensions rose around me. The waiters stopped waiting tables, people stopped talking; they were just exchanging knowing glances and judgmental comments... More
3. Fine Tuning by Milton T. Burton He looked perplexed. I slipped my hand beneath my coat, came out with the little silenced .22 Magnum auto, and shot him right in the center of the forehead. The hollow-point bullet exited the back of his skull, making a colorful little jet of blood and brains as it went... More
4. On Scoring by Human Head One look at the eyeliner, eyebrows, gold hoops and herringbone chains, and I knew this was the Angel we were supposed to see. As she drew closer to the door, the tattoo's left little doubt. She didn't say anything. She just looked at me... More
5. The Joys of Gambling by Johnny Hughes Saratoga Springs, New York in August was the gambling capital of America in the 1920s, with the horses, the spa waters, large and ornate casinos, and America's wealthiest citizens in a gilded age, when money and wine were treated like water... More
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
This Not That
Its Chinese Take Out day WHOO WHOO!
All orgasmic things about MSG and Kung Pao chicken go down the shitter because I will not mention my run-in with US Bank as they deserve a herpes-infected cashier's check down their eardrums after the robots at the "lost claims" department decided to not listen to my sane suggestions to avoid having to pay a fee or another two week delay for an insurance check I need to sign over to the contractor who finished the siding job on my house three weeks ago.
Can't cash the check without their signature. 3-5 days for this, pay a $25 fee, then another 5-7 days for that, all because they won't accept the inspections done by the CITY GOVERNMENT or the INSURANCE COMPANY WHO APPROVED THE $7,500 CHECK.
Sigh. This after two weeks of working with their local office and calling them yesterday just to hear a totally different story. I hope next time that banker rolls thru the Arby's drive-thru he get shafted with no Arby sauce packets.
Two day to guy's weekend at my trailer/cabin that never disappoints for good ol' hick fun consisting of golf-casino-golf-drink-drink-drink-poker-drink to forget about the US Bank affair.
As my mind is firmly on knocking wedges within 10 feet while forgetting my drink count and chomping down on a decent Gurkha cigar here's Pauly once again roll out the best short stories on the web. Check it out early and often folks:
Welcome back to a (very) late summer issue of Truckin'.
1. Trading Pickles by Paul McGuire
Sven worked in the largest pickle factory in Western Norway. It was a dreary town, but Sven's options were limited since he had a terrible habit of holding a steady jobs. In the four and a half years since he graduated from university, he held no less than 76 jobs. All of them had something in common... he was fired from all 76... More
2. Learning to Steal in the Boy Scouts of America by Johnny Hughes
We had a code similar to the Boy Scout code in some ways. There was no stealing from the mom and pop grocery stores that were on every other corner. No stealing from houses. No vandalism. And as I said, we did not steal while in our Boy Scout uniforms... More
3. Yellow No. 2 By Betty Underground
He had pulled the mirror and the little box from the coffee table shelf and was cutting and lining up the next round. It was the 90s in Los Angeles. We had fallen into the alteration that cocaine had provided for our creative minds. Neither of us addicted to the drug, but walking a fine line of destruction to our relationship. Being almost unable to communicate with each other without it... More
4. The Grays by Milton T. Burton
We froze and they smirked, their bright, gleeful eyes drinking in our fear. Then two of them pulled knives. Large knives. I put my arm around my daughter and drew her close. Cozart was calm beside me but I could hear him whispering a prayer in what sounded like Latin. Old habits die hard, I guess... More
5. Justin Masterson By Broseph
The game was interesting enough, but I needed more excitement. I noticed two young ladies standing on the rail near us, decked out in Bosox regalia and holding a bottle of sun screen. About my age, they were attractive and fit the profile of girls I would normally bone sober... More
All orgasmic things about MSG and Kung Pao chicken go down the shitter because I will not mention my run-in with US Bank as they deserve a herpes-infected cashier's check down their eardrums after the robots at the "lost claims" department decided to not listen to my sane suggestions to avoid having to pay a fee or another two week delay for an insurance check I need to sign over to the contractor who finished the siding job on my house three weeks ago.
Can't cash the check without their signature. 3-5 days for this, pay a $25 fee, then another 5-7 days for that, all because they won't accept the inspections done by the CITY GOVERNMENT or the INSURANCE COMPANY WHO APPROVED THE $7,500 CHECK.
Sigh. This after two weeks of working with their local office and calling them yesterday just to hear a totally different story. I hope next time that banker rolls thru the Arby's drive-thru he get shafted with no Arby sauce packets.
Two day to guy's weekend at my trailer/cabin that never disappoints for good ol' hick fun consisting of golf-casino-golf-drink-drink-drink-poker-drink to forget about the US Bank affair.
As my mind is firmly on knocking wedges within 10 feet while forgetting my drink count and chomping down on a decent Gurkha cigar here's Pauly once again roll out the best short stories on the web. Check it out early and often folks:
Welcome back to a (very) late summer issue of Truckin'.
1. Trading Pickles by Paul McGuire
Sven worked in the largest pickle factory in Western Norway. It was a dreary town, but Sven's options were limited since he had a terrible habit of holding a steady jobs. In the four and a half years since he graduated from university, he held no less than 76 jobs. All of them had something in common... he was fired from all 76... More
2. Learning to Steal in the Boy Scouts of America by Johnny Hughes
We had a code similar to the Boy Scout code in some ways. There was no stealing from the mom and pop grocery stores that were on every other corner. No stealing from houses. No vandalism. And as I said, we did not steal while in our Boy Scout uniforms... More
3. Yellow No. 2 By Betty Underground
He had pulled the mirror and the little box from the coffee table shelf and was cutting and lining up the next round. It was the 90s in Los Angeles. We had fallen into the alteration that cocaine had provided for our creative minds. Neither of us addicted to the drug, but walking a fine line of destruction to our relationship. Being almost unable to communicate with each other without it... More
4. The Grays by Milton T. Burton
We froze and they smirked, their bright, gleeful eyes drinking in our fear. Then two of them pulled knives. Large knives. I put my arm around my daughter and drew her close. Cozart was calm beside me but I could hear him whispering a prayer in what sounded like Latin. Old habits die hard, I guess... More
5. Justin Masterson By Broseph
The game was interesting enough, but I needed more excitement. I noticed two young ladies standing on the rail near us, decked out in Bosox regalia and holding a bottle of sun screen. About my age, they were attractive and fit the profile of girls I would normally bone sober... More
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Weekend Truckin'
I'll be enjoying some Father's Day BBQ at my brother's house shortly before an up-all-night adventure at the virtual felt tonight doing the Sunday Warm-Up and Sunday Million final table recaps at PokerStarsBlog.com
For better reading before 3am CST Monday morning, I suggest the new edition of Truckin' as seen below.
Truckin' - June 2009, Vol. 8, Issue 6
Welcome back to the birthday issue of Truckin' as we turn seven years old this month!
1. Pink Dragons by Paul McGuire Charles was skeptical and accused me of being a CIA or DEA agent, not to mention the evil offspring of George Bush. There was a strong anti-American sentiment in New Zealand and Charles epitomized that angst. When I unfurled a wad of multi-colored Australian dollars, he abruptly ended his rant and asked me how much I needed... More
2. Holly of Houston: Google Me! by Johnny Hughes Holly was a former board member of Houston's chapter of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). She had donated $140,000 to the Texas Strippers for PETA tour. Her frequent comments in Texas newspapers were strongly anti-gun... More
3. I'll Read Your Madness Later by May B. Yesno The agent freezes; there on that glorious bed lay two figures. The face and name was banging a woman. The woman clawing gently on the back of the face and name, eyes silted in pleasure, yet aware enough to look at the agent coming through the doorway... More
4. The Collector by Milton T. Burton He was questioned by two detectives from the Organized Crime Squad---one older, tall, thin and gray haired; the other younger, short, thickset and bald. Raymond Chandler said they always came paired that way. But the old man didn't read Chandler... More
5. Morrison's Lament By Michael Friedman Society no longer values the divinity of the self, so I find myself amiss all of the technology, discontent, and terror and although it takes only a moment to imagine that I am free from the nastiness that the universe leaves on my lips with every gut-wrenching soul kiss... More
For better reading before 3am CST Monday morning, I suggest the new edition of Truckin' as seen below.
Truckin' - June 2009, Vol. 8, Issue 6
Welcome back to the birthday issue of Truckin' as we turn seven years old this month!
1. Pink Dragons by Paul McGuire Charles was skeptical and accused me of being a CIA or DEA agent, not to mention the evil offspring of George Bush. There was a strong anti-American sentiment in New Zealand and Charles epitomized that angst. When I unfurled a wad of multi-colored Australian dollars, he abruptly ended his rant and asked me how much I needed... More
2. Holly of Houston: Google Me! by Johnny Hughes Holly was a former board member of Houston's chapter of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). She had donated $140,000 to the Texas Strippers for PETA tour. Her frequent comments in Texas newspapers were strongly anti-gun... More
3. I'll Read Your Madness Later by May B. Yesno The agent freezes; there on that glorious bed lay two figures. The face and name was banging a woman. The woman clawing gently on the back of the face and name, eyes silted in pleasure, yet aware enough to look at the agent coming through the doorway... More
4. The Collector by Milton T. Burton He was questioned by two detectives from the Organized Crime Squad---one older, tall, thin and gray haired; the other younger, short, thickset and bald. Raymond Chandler said they always came paired that way. But the old man didn't read Chandler... More
5. Morrison's Lament By Michael Friedman Society no longer values the divinity of the self, so I find myself amiss all of the technology, discontent, and terror and although it takes only a moment to imagine that I am free from the nastiness that the universe leaves on my lips with every gut-wrenching soul kiss... More
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Truckin with Dr. Pauly
There was a text message on my phone from Al around 8:30 last night:
“PLO!!!”
Good to my previous word for the SoCo and boobies lover, fired up Full Tilt Poker for the Skillz series as part of the BBT4. My history with these series is not good, read thru some back pages and there’s nothing but enough bad beat stories to fund President Obama’s overhaul of this nation’s economy with some left over to get the Steak Frites with that orgasm-inducing salmon spread at Bouchon’s.
“PLO!!!”
Good to my previous word for the SoCo and boobies lover, fired up Full Tilt Poker for the Skillz series as part of the BBT4. My history with these series is not good, read thru some back pages and there’s nothing but enough bad beat stories to fund President Obama’s overhaul of this nation’s economy with some left over to get the Steak Frites with that orgasm-inducing salmon spread at Bouchon’s.
Last night, no different. In a Princess Vespa-Spaceballs-wedding-like synopsis. Down to ten, third in chips. Cracked suited aces, bubble boy.
Add it to the pile of the latest BBT-anything train wreck stories and try to sleep. Would like to thank Waffles for prolonging my bust-out last night, he is the man.
Add it to the pile of the latest BBT-anything train wreck stories and try to sleep. Would like to thank Waffles for prolonging my bust-out last night, he is the man.
---
Ok, lots going in our little community if I may slip for people unfamiliar with these groups of poker blogs:
Dank and Jo. So happy for you both. And if you guys post one more fuckin screenshot of a slot jackpot after I’ve played the damn things for 16 years without hitting one solitary hand pay I’m driving over the Canuck border to burn your weed supply.
You’re on notice and congratulations on the engagement!
Ok, lots going in our little community if I may slip for people unfamiliar with these groups of poker blogs:
Dank and Jo. So happy for you both. And if you guys post one more fuckin screenshot of a slot jackpot after I’ve played the damn things for 16 years without hitting one solitary hand pay I’m driving over the Canuck border to burn your weed supply.
You’re on notice and congratulations on the engagement!
---
Truckin.
I have and always will pimp Pauly’s blog-zine for the simple fact that I don’t have time to pour through a book when the daughter needs to be set in bed for the twentieth time because her right Dora slipper fell off. But, you get to taste real stories from writers that may not (currently) appear on the New York Times best sellers list with Grand Canyon-like writing style differences, experiencing lust, greed, and even death.
That’s where my story comes in this month. As mentioned a few month ago, I spoke of the one regret in my life a couple of months ago and turned that into a story. As Pauly helped me get the words out, they are now for you to read if you wish. My brand of literary sense is speckled with bad metaphors and worse sentence structure which would cause a group of English professors to pin my fingers down and break out sledgehammer to prevent further eyes and ears being subjected to my “writing”.
But know in this story that blood was spilt to write it, ghost of relationships past make for good reading and I hope you enjoy it as well as the contributions from Betty and of course Pauly.
Truckin.
I have and always will pimp Pauly’s blog-zine for the simple fact that I don’t have time to pour through a book when the daughter needs to be set in bed for the twentieth time because her right Dora slipper fell off. But, you get to taste real stories from writers that may not (currently) appear on the New York Times best sellers list with Grand Canyon-like writing style differences, experiencing lust, greed, and even death.
That’s where my story comes in this month. As mentioned a few month ago, I spoke of the one regret in my life a couple of months ago and turned that into a story. As Pauly helped me get the words out, they are now for you to read if you wish. My brand of literary sense is speckled with bad metaphors and worse sentence structure which would cause a group of English professors to pin my fingers down and break out sledgehammer to prevent further eyes and ears being subjected to my “writing”.
But know in this story that blood was spilt to write it, ghost of relationships past make for good reading and I hope you enjoy it as well as the contributions from Betty and of course Pauly.
1. Popeye by Paul McGuire The beat up truck with Maryland plates included three large green trashbags that were strapped down in the back. A skinny woman in the passenger seat took a swig off of a bottle and handed it to a guy in a baseball hat. He took one long pull and then spit it out of the open window... More
2. Quicklube: A Fable By Milton T. Burton It's turning out to be an A-number-one-fine day for C.C. Chumly. He and several of his like-minded buddies are quaffing a few Tall Toad Pilsners at the Belly-Up Bar, a truly classy place in beautiful downtown Midland, Texas... More
3. The Regret by David "Drizz" Aydt My scar is buried under six feet of solid Nordic dirt and ice, among the mass headstones there's a grave marked with her name that has not been seen by these eyes... More
4. Blue No. 1 by Betty Underground He looked up from the table and our eyes were locked. After so many years, sometimes there is no need for words... More
5. The Miracle of Highway Six by Art Rosch Nevada is a washboard, an undulating series of mountains and valleys, and the roads cut straight across this ancient seabed. At the top of each peak, the view spreads down the road ahead, which goes in a straight line for miles and miles until it disappears into the next rise of the landscape... More
I’ll leave it there today and bottle up the fury of Ed Werner, Peter King, and Chris Mortenson mass reports of Brett Favre donning the purple next year for the Vikings. Or 127 year old John Madden not knowing why he's walking around his cruiser with an erection . Not many things are more important than football, this was. Hope you enjoy the read.
I’ll leave it there today and bottle up the fury of Ed Werner, Peter King, and Chris Mortenson mass reports of Brett Favre donning the purple next year for the Vikings. Or 127 year old John Madden not knowing why he's walking around his cruiser with an erection . Not many things are more important than football, this was. Hope you enjoy the read.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Back Again, Lets Begin
Call it cubical cleansing. Any chance I get to step outside of my four walls showing pictures of the kids and my four pound one ounce Smallmouth Bass at the 9-to-5 and report on the world of online or live poker is refreshing to the palette. The three a.m. final tables and mundane raise from the button getting the blinds to fold circus may seem boring, and at times repetitious because it is. There’s stories like watching a newly minted Team PokerStars Pro JC Alvarado take down his biggest score ever after winning the SCOOP-medium Main Event for over $500,000. Stories of that $5 rebuy qualifier cashing in his ticket for six figures may bring “why isn’t that me” trains of thought as most people who play online poker dream of hitting that big payoff thru years of six-tabling and reading countless tomes of card wizards proclaiming that math with show you the way to Lamborghinis and six-figure baccarat bets with oil barons in the back room at the Wynn.
Personally I enjoy the action, often watching a tournament far before my scheduled time to report the card slinging before the final nine (or six) divvy up the big pieces of the prize pool. My hopes are with the economy and product that the awesome team put out there these past 14 days was entertaining for the readers and spiffy enough for the brass at PokerStars to want us back.
---
These pages have missed a few things while I was dancing with the Flamingo rocks at the $2/$4 tables. Actually, one does not dance he should just try to figure out how to fish fruit flies out of his drink, and hope the waitresses of yesteryear don’t infect him with the Vegas Monkey Virus despite being one of only two people at the table who tip with every watered down drink while six people call every flop and auto-mucking is in order if the crabby AARP spokesperson in the six seat even looks at his chips.
Still wrapping my mind around Vegas with the boy, one thing that I did not understand nor expecting was his unwillingness to do the things we had planned. Batman Legos on the PSP apparently had more pull then Circus Circus, watching Spongebob was more exciting than a chance to walk under Ginsu-sharp shark teeth. Not to say he didn’t have a good time, but there was a feeling that we were pushing him to have that fun versus enjoying the moment. There’s pictures on Facebook that transfer over to these pages for the five readers I have not met.
Perhaps the trip was another parenting lesson to be learned.
---
My trip to Vegas was much like my home life, secured in the vapid air of suburbia with ADT alarm systems and housewives getting soused on Yellow Tail and Three Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's while playing bunco. Stayed on the strip, hotel partially comped, and had no problems with the 1972 Golden Nugget Slapback Blackjack tourney winner Ron House from Dayton, Ohio who left his wife and kids after winning $2,500 while passing through on a family trip to Disneyland now can be found at Bill's Gambling Hall scraping up discarded ten cent slot tickets at the Wheel of Fortune machines for a minimum Pai Gow bet.
For the real story of Vegas outside of the glitz and find out more about what happens to people like Mr. House, check out Pauly's new book Lost Vegas. It is a moral imperative to read it, you'll surrounded by twice as many virgins in heaven then allah promises those suicide bombers.
Want a taste for his writing? Go to the April edition of Truckin.
Personally I enjoy the action, often watching a tournament far before my scheduled time to report the card slinging before the final nine (or six) divvy up the big pieces of the prize pool. My hopes are with the economy and product that the awesome team put out there these past 14 days was entertaining for the readers and spiffy enough for the brass at PokerStars to want us back.
---
These pages have missed a few things while I was dancing with the Flamingo rocks at the $2/$4 tables. Actually, one does not dance he should just try to figure out how to fish fruit flies out of his drink, and hope the waitresses of yesteryear don’t infect him with the Vegas Monkey Virus despite being one of only two people at the table who tip with every watered down drink while six people call every flop and auto-mucking is in order if the crabby AARP spokesperson in the six seat even looks at his chips.
Still wrapping my mind around Vegas with the boy, one thing that I did not understand nor expecting was his unwillingness to do the things we had planned. Batman Legos on the PSP apparently had more pull then Circus Circus, watching Spongebob was more exciting than a chance to walk under Ginsu-sharp shark teeth. Not to say he didn’t have a good time, but there was a feeling that we were pushing him to have that fun versus enjoying the moment. There’s pictures on Facebook that transfer over to these pages for the five readers I have not met.
Perhaps the trip was another parenting lesson to be learned.
---
My trip to Vegas was much like my home life, secured in the vapid air of suburbia with ADT alarm systems and housewives getting soused on Yellow Tail and Three Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's while playing bunco. Stayed on the strip, hotel partially comped, and had no problems with the 1972 Golden Nugget Slapback Blackjack tourney winner Ron House from Dayton, Ohio who left his wife and kids after winning $2,500 while passing through on a family trip to Disneyland now can be found at Bill's Gambling Hall scraping up discarded ten cent slot tickets at the Wheel of Fortune machines for a minimum Pai Gow bet.
For the real story of Vegas outside of the glitz and find out more about what happens to people like Mr. House, check out Pauly's new book Lost Vegas. It is a moral imperative to read it, you'll surrounded by twice as many virgins in heaven then allah promises those suicide bombers.
Want a taste for his writing? Go to the April edition of Truckin.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Chatting, Crying, and Truckin
A sad good-bye to Matt Birk. This move made about as much sense as signing Sage Rosenfels to the Vikes.
Sigh.
---
Saw over 100 signed up for the first Mookie of the BBT4 last night. Rock on folks.
I had zero interest in joining despite getting back from running the kids around, going to the gym, and getting home in time to watch the Gopher's Men Basketball team play an exciting game against Stinkin' Badgers for the possible NCAA at large bid bubble burst. Well, exciting for Big Ten basketball as the score at halftime showed the leading scorer for BOTH teams was 6. I think the rim was in deep thought about filing charges for assault and battery.
Long live the barn.
---
Also on a Full Tilt note, I penned a post for Al's "Poker From the Rail" describing those annoyingly funny three years olds who blow up in the chat boxes and have potential for increasing your bankroll because they can't handle the cards not falling in their favor *raises hand*.
Everyone has been guilty of a "Waffle-esque" rant. Maybe not to the point of describing the different garden tools he used to impregenate your sister and mother last night in a Motel 6, but if you haven't flipped out at the tables there's no base from to learn to control those emotions to build on.
Hop over here to the post.
---
Now that you're done with amateur hour at the ACME Comedy Club, time for the real writers to line up.
Go get your Truckin on. Fair warning for gentlemen who can still get it up without chemicals from Pfizer, stay seated at work while reading Betty's red laced story. Wow.
March 2009, Vol. 8, Issue 3
Welcome back to the latest issue of Truckin'...
1. Lubbock's Own: Larry "the Laugher" Larson by Johnny Hughes
Large Mouth Maude Larson once beat a Hockley County man half to death at the Cotton Club with a bowling pin because she thought he stole her comb. Later, she found it in her purse, like all women do. She didn't feel a bit bad. The world-class bitch... More
2. A Good Beginning by Milton T. Burton
He bills himself as my best friend, but he's not. My best friend was a Kentucky farm boy who died in screaming agony in the Mekong Delta forty years earlier. But even aristocrats like to name-drop occasionally, and mine has been a good name to drop since not long after I came to the New York financial world out of a Cleveland blue color neighborhood by way of Vietnam decades ago... More
3. Happy Valentine's Day Tamara Johnson by Dave Peterson
I moved behind the door to investigate and possibly kill someone. I figured I was ready. The deadbolt lock was sprung with a soft – click. I heard keys jangling, a girl's voice laughing, and then the handle turned. I leveled the revolver and pulled the hammer back... More
4. Hunter Wellington by Betty Underground
Her comfort in her own skin surpasses societies modesty boundaries. It is just how she is. Most people come home from work and take off their shoes. She doesn't stop there, she takes off her pants and pulls her bra off through the sleeves of her t-shirt. Discarding them on the floor of the entrance. She prefers the freedom, and cares less about what others might think... More
5. Monroe by Paul McGuire
Monroe sat at the end of the bar on the last stool. He always did. He never left. The octogenarian arrived five minutes before O'Looney's opened and had to be carried out every night when one of his grandkids stopped by to pick him up... More
Sigh.
---
Saw over 100 signed up for the first Mookie of the BBT4 last night. Rock on folks.
I had zero interest in joining despite getting back from running the kids around, going to the gym, and getting home in time to watch the Gopher's Men Basketball team play an exciting game against Stinkin' Badgers for the possible NCAA at large bid bubble burst. Well, exciting for Big Ten basketball as the score at halftime showed the leading scorer for BOTH teams was 6. I think the rim was in deep thought about filing charges for assault and battery.
Long live the barn.
---
Also on a Full Tilt note, I penned a post for Al's "Poker From the Rail" describing those annoyingly funny three years olds who blow up in the chat boxes and have potential for increasing your bankroll because they can't handle the cards not falling in their favor *raises hand*.
Everyone has been guilty of a "Waffle-esque" rant. Maybe not to the point of describing the different garden tools he used to impregenate your sister and mother last night in a Motel 6, but if you haven't flipped out at the tables there's no base from to learn to control those emotions to build on.
Hop over here to the post.
---
Now that you're done with amateur hour at the ACME Comedy Club, time for the real writers to line up.
Go get your Truckin on. Fair warning for gentlemen who can still get it up without chemicals from Pfizer, stay seated at work while reading Betty's red laced story. Wow.
March 2009, Vol. 8, Issue 3
Welcome back to the latest issue of Truckin'...
1. Lubbock's Own: Larry "the Laugher" Larson by Johnny Hughes
Large Mouth Maude Larson once beat a Hockley County man half to death at the Cotton Club with a bowling pin because she thought he stole her comb. Later, she found it in her purse, like all women do. She didn't feel a bit bad. The world-class bitch... More
2. A Good Beginning by Milton T. Burton
He bills himself as my best friend, but he's not. My best friend was a Kentucky farm boy who died in screaming agony in the Mekong Delta forty years earlier. But even aristocrats like to name-drop occasionally, and mine has been a good name to drop since not long after I came to the New York financial world out of a Cleveland blue color neighborhood by way of Vietnam decades ago... More
3. Happy Valentine's Day Tamara Johnson by Dave Peterson
I moved behind the door to investigate and possibly kill someone. I figured I was ready. The deadbolt lock was sprung with a soft – click. I heard keys jangling, a girl's voice laughing, and then the handle turned. I leveled the revolver and pulled the hammer back... More
4. Hunter Wellington by Betty Underground
Her comfort in her own skin surpasses societies modesty boundaries. It is just how she is. Most people come home from work and take off their shoes. She doesn't stop there, she takes off her pants and pulls her bra off through the sleeves of her t-shirt. Discarding them on the floor of the entrance. She prefers the freedom, and cares less about what others might think... More
5. Monroe by Paul McGuire
Monroe sat at the end of the bar on the last stool. He always did. He never left. The octogenarian arrived five minutes before O'Looney's opened and had to be carried out every night when one of his grandkids stopped by to pick him up... More
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Truckin and Phelps Go Hand In Hand
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Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Does It Mean We're Going Steady?
This morning would be a trying one for any not use to this weather. I have a personal thermometer for what is cold and what is just normal, annoying Minnesotan winter weather.
You step outside, not the garage, but actually outside with the wind and lack of inflatable toys and balls that are screaming for you to bring them inside. While outside take a big breath, not unlike the one you take for the doctor before he checks your tar-stained lungs.
Done with the breath? Feel good to be one with nature? Did you lick the metal flag pole?
Might want to skip that last part.
Now, did your nose hairs stick to the side of your nose? I don’t care about the $75 nose hair extractor you metrosexuals purchased at Brookstone, there’s still some locks inside your snot.
This morning.
Cold.
-16 temps this morning (that not Celsius for our fair weather friends to the north, -26 C). People who think its funny to change their Facebook status to “Brad is sitting outside with flip-flops on in 70 degree weather”, need a frozen 2X4 to the back of the head courtesy of us idiots who live in these climates. Sigh. You get what you sign up for.
---
Got my teeth cleaned last night by a certified Dental Assistant and was told my canines are not hitting the right places. I replied, I’ll tell the wife to shift a little more to the left next time we’re having sex.
She almost hit her head on that overhead light-thingy while Rachel Ray prepping some chicken behind her for another wonderful 30 minute meal and was right on cue with a slight devilish laugh.
There’s a problem I had with the next part of the dentist office visit. Doctor of Dentistry enters the room and promptly puts on his little mask after asking about my impending trek to Ely this weekend (thinking more about the casino, booze, and ice fishing rather then the certain -20+ temps). Perhaps this is common procedure but I got treated to a wang rub on my arm as he reached across to get a closer look at those mis-aligned canines. I’m not adverse to human touch and have a firm hold on my heterosexuality but feeling the tube of Crest on my arm made the chicken alfredo with spinach being made on the LG HDTV up above a second thought.
---
Truckin.
It’s new.
Go read.
Truckin' - January 2008, Vol. 8, Issue 1
Welcome back to the first issue of the new year.
1. The Mollification the Foul Temptresses by Paul McGuire The hookers at the Rio were a combination of famished vultures and parched vampires ready to pick apart any carcass. Any john. Any drunk. Anybody in their path. They were evil personified.... More
2. The Orchard by Joe Speaker I reach for her hand, probing, touching it delicately. We don't form a fist when we come together, nothing like the taut intertwine of fingers you see lovers form, those Gordian knots, unwieldy like a stone fortress. Our fingers hang off each other's loosely, three of mine, two of hers, vice-versa, and they dangle. Spider webs in the wind. Tenuous connection... More
3. Hector by David PetersonI remember clearly when the cops came and took Hector's mom away. He seemed rather nonplussed by the whole thing as we stood on the curb watching a bedraggled and wild-eyed woman being escorted from her home in cut-off jeans, a loose-fitting white tank top and handcuffs... More
4. Flight #22 to Denial by Sean A. Donahue Her eyes were black as the night. Her black hair cascaded near her high cheekbones and tanned complexion. Her body wasn't made for sin but for pleasure, and the glasses she wore on her head framed her face perfectly. The only thing that didn't make sense was that it was raining over her head... More
5. Running it Twice by Andrew Moxon There are, however, certain points of opportunity. Soft places in time, when the cockpit door comes open and we second-timers can take over. That's when things can change. Sometimes, every so often, we walk through that door and start flipping the switches... More
You step outside, not the garage, but actually outside with the wind and lack of inflatable toys and balls that are screaming for you to bring them inside. While outside take a big breath, not unlike the one you take for the doctor before he checks your tar-stained lungs.
Done with the breath? Feel good to be one with nature? Did you lick the metal flag pole?
Might want to skip that last part.
Now, did your nose hairs stick to the side of your nose? I don’t care about the $75 nose hair extractor you metrosexuals purchased at Brookstone, there’s still some locks inside your snot.
This morning.
Cold.
-16 temps this morning (that not Celsius for our fair weather friends to the north, -26 C). People who think its funny to change their Facebook status to “Brad is sitting outside with flip-flops on in 70 degree weather”, need a frozen 2X4 to the back of the head courtesy of us idiots who live in these climates. Sigh. You get what you sign up for.
---
Got my teeth cleaned last night by a certified Dental Assistant and was told my canines are not hitting the right places. I replied, I’ll tell the wife to shift a little more to the left next time we’re having sex.
She almost hit her head on that overhead light-thingy while Rachel Ray prepping some chicken behind her for another wonderful 30 minute meal and was right on cue with a slight devilish laugh.
There’s a problem I had with the next part of the dentist office visit. Doctor of Dentistry enters the room and promptly puts on his little mask after asking about my impending trek to Ely this weekend (thinking more about the casino, booze, and ice fishing rather then the certain -20+ temps). Perhaps this is common procedure but I got treated to a wang rub on my arm as he reached across to get a closer look at those mis-aligned canines. I’m not adverse to human touch and have a firm hold on my heterosexuality but feeling the tube of Crest on my arm made the chicken alfredo with spinach being made on the LG HDTV up above a second thought.
---
Truckin.
It’s new.
Go read.
Truckin' - January 2008, Vol. 8, Issue 1
Welcome back to the first issue of the new year.
1. The Mollification the Foul Temptresses by Paul McGuire The hookers at the Rio were a combination of famished vultures and parched vampires ready to pick apart any carcass. Any john. Any drunk. Anybody in their path. They were evil personified.... More
2. The Orchard by Joe Speaker I reach for her hand, probing, touching it delicately. We don't form a fist when we come together, nothing like the taut intertwine of fingers you see lovers form, those Gordian knots, unwieldy like a stone fortress. Our fingers hang off each other's loosely, three of mine, two of hers, vice-versa, and they dangle. Spider webs in the wind. Tenuous connection... More
3. Hector by David PetersonI remember clearly when the cops came and took Hector's mom away. He seemed rather nonplussed by the whole thing as we stood on the curb watching a bedraggled and wild-eyed woman being escorted from her home in cut-off jeans, a loose-fitting white tank top and handcuffs... More
4. Flight #22 to Denial by Sean A. Donahue Her eyes were black as the night. Her black hair cascaded near her high cheekbones and tanned complexion. Her body wasn't made for sin but for pleasure, and the glasses she wore on her head framed her face perfectly. The only thing that didn't make sense was that it was raining over her head... More
5. Running it Twice by Andrew Moxon There are, however, certain points of opportunity. Soft places in time, when the cockpit door comes open and we second-timers can take over. That's when things can change. Sometimes, every so often, we walk through that door and start flipping the switches... More
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Here Piggy Piggy
The new age Christmas Story has been written. Go check out Truckin this month read the entire awesome rack of stories of course, but I turned my attention to “The Last Christmas”. After reading, anyone else see Olympia Dukakis or Estelle Getty (pre-ashes and bones) at the head of that table?
----
My rant yesterday was there, and the Williams boys got their day in court much sooner then I thought. Now the heady legal types around THIS state seem to see that the Williams have some legit beef with Czar Goodell. Check out this article where studious law-types drag out the Minnesota state law about drug testing and enforcement on state employees. Granted the NFL’s lawyers will be looking to punch any and every hole into these Minnesota state drug testing laws but after reading the article it could be until next season that the interior of the Viking’s line would have to face these charges. The NFL is not the federal government, but then again the NFL is not based in Minnesota, are the Williams NFL employees or Minnesota Vikings employees protected by the state’s laws versus where the NFL corporate offices are (on Park Ave. in New York).
Losing 1/4th of their yearly salary plus an above average shot at a playoff run this year is well worth the fight for these two. Especially for Pat Williams who is in his mid-30s.
---
Happy Birthday to Otis. He’s on his way to Mexico for cervezas, tequila shooters, chiclet selling street kids, and Tijuana lesbian donkey shows for the next week or so. Or he might slide by Nuevo Vallarta for the PokerStars sponsored LAPT event.
Either one sounds much better then not feeling your fingers for the first ten minutes in the car.
----
Daddy, if you want some bacon, there's some of the live variety running around right behind my house right now thanks to an accident on the freeway no more then a block from my porch. I'll grab some rope for you from the shed.
----
The itch is getting to me.
Eight days.
----
My rant yesterday was there, and the Williams boys got their day in court much sooner then I thought. Now the heady legal types around THIS state seem to see that the Williams have some legit beef with Czar Goodell. Check out this article where studious law-types drag out the Minnesota state law about drug testing and enforcement on state employees. Granted the NFL’s lawyers will be looking to punch any and every hole into these Minnesota state drug testing laws but after reading the article it could be until next season that the interior of the Viking’s line would have to face these charges. The NFL is not the federal government, but then again the NFL is not based in Minnesota, are the Williams NFL employees or Minnesota Vikings employees protected by the state’s laws versus where the NFL corporate offices are (on Park Ave. in New York).
Losing 1/4th of their yearly salary plus an above average shot at a playoff run this year is well worth the fight for these two. Especially for Pat Williams who is in his mid-30s.
---
Happy Birthday to Otis. He’s on his way to Mexico for cervezas, tequila shooters, chiclet selling street kids, and Tijuana lesbian donkey shows for the next week or so. Or he might slide by Nuevo Vallarta for the PokerStars sponsored LAPT event.
Either one sounds much better then not feeling your fingers for the first ten minutes in the car.
----
Daddy, if you want some bacon, there's some of the live variety running around right behind my house right now thanks to an accident on the freeway no more then a block from my porch. I'll grab some rope for you from the shed.
----
The itch is getting to me.
Eight days.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Go Forth and Read Truckin
After a week of battling corporate red tape, there no more ink in the well here. Today's suggestion would point you towards the October version of Truckin for those shooting more ink then Peter North in a six hour Vivid feature porno.
Enjoy the potential Manny vs. SAKKKXXXS fap-fest you're about to be subjected to on ESPN and Sport-talk radio for the next week. We'll be rooting on the Phillies and Rays here.
Truckin' - October 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 10
Welcome back to another issue.
1. Maisy Wednesday by Paul McGuire She always wore bright lipstick which brought out a little gleam in her lips. She frequently smiled, but never initiated any sort of conversation... More
2. Happy Anniversary by John 'Falstaff' Hartness As we stood outside the courthouse in our newly wedded bliss (which also somewhat resembled the look of people who have just survived a tornado, as it happened much faster than we expected) we decided that since Suzy didn't have to be at work for another couple of hours, we'd go have lunch. So we scraped together a few bucks and trundled over to a nearby McDonald's... More
3. A Lock of Bonnie Parker's Hair by Johnny Hughes They was real famous and in the newspapers and all robbing them banks, when banks were unpopular. I asked Bonnie for something to remember her by. We didn't have a pencil for an autograph. She pulled this little pair of scissors out of her purse and gave me this... a lock of her hair... More
4. Whiskey Kisses by Betty After Dark Held apart by distance and circumstance, brought together in soft voices, the pieces of who we are fill the room with every drink we pour. The gaps in our lives slowly closing as the light from the window crept into the room. There was something unavoidable that connected us, but the details were never as clear as they were this night.... More
5. What I Knew? by Dusty Rhodes Just walk up and ask her you idiot... You've been friends for four years... she doesn't have a date and either do you... Quit being a pussy and ask her... Christ dude... what are you nervous about... More
Enjoy the potential Manny vs. SAKKKXXXS fap-fest you're about to be subjected to on ESPN and Sport-talk radio for the next week. We'll be rooting on the Phillies and Rays here.
Truckin' - October 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 10
Welcome back to another issue.
1. Maisy Wednesday by Paul McGuire She always wore bright lipstick which brought out a little gleam in her lips. She frequently smiled, but never initiated any sort of conversation... More
2. Happy Anniversary by John 'Falstaff' Hartness As we stood outside the courthouse in our newly wedded bliss (which also somewhat resembled the look of people who have just survived a tornado, as it happened much faster than we expected) we decided that since Suzy didn't have to be at work for another couple of hours, we'd go have lunch. So we scraped together a few bucks and trundled over to a nearby McDonald's... More
3. A Lock of Bonnie Parker's Hair by Johnny Hughes They was real famous and in the newspapers and all robbing them banks, when banks were unpopular. I asked Bonnie for something to remember her by. We didn't have a pencil for an autograph. She pulled this little pair of scissors out of her purse and gave me this... a lock of her hair... More
4. Whiskey Kisses by Betty After Dark Held apart by distance and circumstance, brought together in soft voices, the pieces of who we are fill the room with every drink we pour. The gaps in our lives slowly closing as the light from the window crept into the room. There was something unavoidable that connected us, but the details were never as clear as they were this night.... More
5. What I Knew? by Dusty Rhodes Just walk up and ask her you idiot... You've been friends for four years... she doesn't have a date and either do you... Quit being a pussy and ask her... Christ dude... what are you nervous about... More
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Better Then Giving a Toaster
If you're planning to play at Pauly's game on Stars tonight, DVR the Golden Girls marathon for once and play.
Do it for the kids.
Do it because you wouldn't want your wife (husband) to look at you like you just told her (him) that your anus is feeling a bit raw after using an Adam and Eve anniversary intimate bonus pack last night while standing next to your mother-in-law and daycare provider.
Do it to give me chips and award me an 8th wedding anniversary gift (yes, hard to believe).
Do it after going to read the latest issue of Truckin'
http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com
Truckin' - August 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 8Welcome back to another summer issue of Truckin'
.1. Even More Existentialist Conversations with Strippers by Paul McGuire On the third day of Prozac? That pretty much summed up my visit to the afternoon shift. The stripper was drunk, sedated on happy pills, sloppy, and slurring her speech like Albert Finney at happy hour... More
2. Explaining Amphetamines With Words by Sean A. Lovelace See the thing is an injection is a lot like a bullet from a gun, or words of anger, or like kisses—you can't get it back. And that Valium was working, working its way through his body, his veins, slowing things down, slowing, his pulse, his already pretty-fucking-slow pulse, and then he was, he was, well, he was dead... More
3. Black Hole Sun By Betty Underground I couldn't get her face out of my head. Blank and full of jealousy. Not directed at me, but me as part of the female species. As a representative of the sex that threatened her the most... More
4. Separate From Things We Didn't Want A Part Of by Philip D. Brown My friend fell asleep but the girl didn't and though it was dark I could see her watching me. She didn't look capable of sleep or even rest so I told her that I could help. She told me that needles were out of the question because they were an invasion she wasn't willing to accept... More
5. Capistrano By Brad Willis If the doctor says I'm living, he obviously is lying or seriously misguided. If he tells me I'm living, I'm going to laugh and tell him he better get busy dying for me, because somebody fucking has to... More
Do it for the kids.
Do it because you wouldn't want your wife (husband) to look at you like you just told her (him) that your anus is feeling a bit raw after using an Adam and Eve anniversary intimate bonus pack last night while standing next to your mother-in-law and daycare provider.
Do it to give me chips and award me an 8th wedding anniversary gift (yes, hard to believe).
Do it after going to read the latest issue of Truckin'
http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com
Truckin' - August 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 8Welcome back to another summer issue of Truckin'
.1. Even More Existentialist Conversations with Strippers by Paul McGuire On the third day of Prozac? That pretty much summed up my visit to the afternoon shift. The stripper was drunk, sedated on happy pills, sloppy, and slurring her speech like Albert Finney at happy hour... More
2. Explaining Amphetamines With Words by Sean A. Lovelace See the thing is an injection is a lot like a bullet from a gun, or words of anger, or like kisses—you can't get it back. And that Valium was working, working its way through his body, his veins, slowing things down, slowing, his pulse, his already pretty-fucking-slow pulse, and then he was, he was, well, he was dead... More
3. Black Hole Sun By Betty Underground I couldn't get her face out of my head. Blank and full of jealousy. Not directed at me, but me as part of the female species. As a representative of the sex that threatened her the most... More
4. Separate From Things We Didn't Want A Part Of by Philip D. Brown My friend fell asleep but the girl didn't and though it was dark I could see her watching me. She didn't look capable of sleep or even rest so I told her that I could help. She told me that needles were out of the question because they were an invasion she wasn't willing to accept... More
5. Capistrano By Brad Willis If the doctor says I'm living, he obviously is lying or seriously misguided. If he tells me I'm living, I'm going to laugh and tell him he better get busy dying for me, because somebody fucking has to... More
Monday, June 09, 2008
Yes, I'm That Guy
I'll be waiting for my free t-shirt and stress ball in the mail from my new gig.
And after last night, I have the utmost respect for those who this on a daily basis. Especially those in the press box currently at the WSOP. Kudos to all of you.
I don't know if I'm shooting myself in the foot by pretending to be a poker blogger, but I had fun last night despite the minimal amount of sleep this morning. Also, if you think the Sunday Million write-up totally sucked, go beat your face with Bobby Flay's corn lined hot waffle iron.
Just let me know if there's somethings I could work on for next time.
Much appreciated.
Edit: in my haze this morning I found this in my inbox....
Truckin' -- http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com
Truckin' - June 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 6
Welcome to the birthday issue of Truckin!
We have now been around for six years.
1. Ikeaphobia by Paul McGuire
I kept imagining Swedish people in Sweden coming home from their Swedish jobs and sitting down on their Swedish couches and eating Swedish meals cooked in Swedish pans and served on Swedish plates... More
2. The Crucification of Kaminsky by Betty Underground
The diet pills made her skinny. Made her feel excepted in the land of the beautiful. The speed getting her through the days. Coke came at night, when she needed to escape her own mind. Her past... More
3. One Night Out, Part I by Sigge S. Amdal
I noticed that I wasn't alone in the alley, and I looked up quick enough to see a prostitute coughing up a recognizable white substance. She looked up and for a brief time our eyes met. Only one window apart earlier, but out here we were both equally being sick. It was a strange moment of solidarity... More
4. The Reason Why... by May B. Yesno
The place had a less than classy name, The Roamin Gardens, to say little of the fact the only garden about it were two fake, potted palm trees at the front door. A typical sleazy pick-up joint. One in which you feel like everything you touch you can pick-up most anything... More
5. Drafting Richard Petty by Drizz
Imagine starting every day with these heavy chains pinning you to Davy Jones' Locker, and having zero motivation to try to swim to the surface because those depths didn't provide any sunlight to reach... More
6. FLASHBACK - Fukuoka, Phishy City by Tenzin McGruppThe workers are tiny Japanese girls who wear the most adorable white and red uniforms and lovely white gloves cover their tiny hands. They greet you with big smiles and sing a nice happy song to you as the customers pay... More
Good grief. Pretty soon my ego is gonna rival G-Rob's if this keeps up. He'll still have the hair though.
And after last night, I have the utmost respect for those who this on a daily basis. Especially those in the press box currently at the WSOP. Kudos to all of you.
I don't know if I'm shooting myself in the foot by pretending to be a poker blogger, but I had fun last night despite the minimal amount of sleep this morning. Also, if you think the Sunday Million write-up totally sucked, go beat your face with Bobby Flay's corn lined hot waffle iron.
Just let me know if there's somethings I could work on for next time.
Much appreciated.
Edit: in my haze this morning I found this in my inbox....
Truckin' -- http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com
Truckin' - June 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 6
Welcome to the birthday issue of Truckin!
We have now been around for six years.
1. Ikeaphobia by Paul McGuire
I kept imagining Swedish people in Sweden coming home from their Swedish jobs and sitting down on their Swedish couches and eating Swedish meals cooked in Swedish pans and served on Swedish plates... More
2. The Crucification of Kaminsky by Betty Underground
The diet pills made her skinny. Made her feel excepted in the land of the beautiful. The speed getting her through the days. Coke came at night, when she needed to escape her own mind. Her past... More
3. One Night Out, Part I by Sigge S. Amdal
I noticed that I wasn't alone in the alley, and I looked up quick enough to see a prostitute coughing up a recognizable white substance. She looked up and for a brief time our eyes met. Only one window apart earlier, but out here we were both equally being sick. It was a strange moment of solidarity... More
4. The Reason Why... by May B. Yesno
The place had a less than classy name, The Roamin Gardens, to say little of the fact the only garden about it were two fake, potted palm trees at the front door. A typical sleazy pick-up joint. One in which you feel like everything you touch you can pick-up most anything... More
5. Drafting Richard Petty by Drizz
Imagine starting every day with these heavy chains pinning you to Davy Jones' Locker, and having zero motivation to try to swim to the surface because those depths didn't provide any sunlight to reach... More
6. FLASHBACK - Fukuoka, Phishy City by Tenzin McGruppThe workers are tiny Japanese girls who wear the most adorable white and red uniforms and lovely white gloves cover their tiny hands. They greet you with big smiles and sing a nice happy song to you as the customers pay... More
Good grief. Pretty soon my ego is gonna rival G-Rob's if this keeps up. He'll still have the hair though.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
A Dribble Through the Legs
I promise more Vegas, less gloom in the upcoming weeks, as being called out by Waffles is telling me something.
Still awaiting a comfirming word on the special announcement I have brewing but should it not come to fruitation it was an honor to be asked.
Last night was the closest I've gotten to a cash at the Hoy, dropping in 11th with no "beats" to speak ill of nor any real asshats in the chat. Lucko's friend played very well, and kept me off-balance until I had to take a stand with a probable coin flip. I don't know who won at the end but hat tip to the new guy.
Who had a worse collapse? Bill Buckner's Legs, The Twins Bullpen yesterday, or Memphis bricklayers in the final minutes of that game last night?
If you only say it was a great comeback by Kansas, I should direct your attention to the 1-10 shooting in the final minutes where just one of those buckets nullifies that nicely set three point shot at the end of regulation. It shouldn't have even gotten there, much like some fish playing 83o for his stack with no pair, no draw and hitting runners to crack your big pair. Kudos to Kansas for taking advantage of this horrible display playing not-to-lose by Memphis. They had that kill in their eyes for the first part of the second half and lost it.
Pauly's Truckin' rolls through this month I suggest dropping all TPS reports and shredded NCAA brackets to head over for some prose that flows without the hangover and gravel mouth in the morning.
Truckin' - April 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 3
And we're back with the latest issue of Truckin'...!
1. Bong Hits with Rachael Ray by Paul McGuire My body sinks into the couch as soon as Rachael Ray comes on the screen. Rachael Ray's smile is intoxicating and any mentioning of EVOO sends orgasmic chills throughout my entire body. And when she grabs a fistful of meat, I wet myself.... More
2. Magpies Are Better Than That, All Wright? by Sigge S. Amdal Birthdays never set well with me. Today so many days ago I was shoved head first through the vagina of a woman I didn't even know at the time, radically interfering with her and her husband's sex lives, economical situation, causing nothing but general dismay for half a year before they finally got used to me... More
3. Skinny Dipping for Christ by Betty Underground At the other end of the pool a barefoot young woman, steps to the edge of the pool. Slender. Blonde with alabaster skin. Flawless. Angelic. She steps out of her skirt and pulls her t-shirt over her head. Standing naked, starring down into the pool, still lit from below... More
4. Axel by Kajagugu My plea trailed off at the end as he put the car in gear and we took off. He pulled a quick left hand u-turn out of the hotel taxi line across six lanes of traffic and barely missed a young lady on her bicycle... More
5. Happiest Place on Earth by Grand Master Pants Anyone can toss singles onto the stage, but she'd already mastered the art of tipping with style by stuffing dollar bills down her shirt, where the dancers had to be a little more, uh, creative in retrieving them... More
Still awaiting a comfirming word on the special announcement I have brewing but should it not come to fruitation it was an honor to be asked.
Last night was the closest I've gotten to a cash at the Hoy, dropping in 11th with no "beats" to speak ill of nor any real asshats in the chat. Lucko's friend played very well, and kept me off-balance until I had to take a stand with a probable coin flip. I don't know who won at the end but hat tip to the new guy.
Who had a worse collapse? Bill Buckner's Legs, The Twins Bullpen yesterday, or Memphis bricklayers in the final minutes of that game last night?
If you only say it was a great comeback by Kansas, I should direct your attention to the 1-10 shooting in the final minutes where just one of those buckets nullifies that nicely set three point shot at the end of regulation. It shouldn't have even gotten there, much like some fish playing 83o for his stack with no pair, no draw and hitting runners to crack your big pair. Kudos to Kansas for taking advantage of this horrible display playing not-to-lose by Memphis. They had that kill in their eyes for the first part of the second half and lost it.
Pauly's Truckin' rolls through this month I suggest dropping all TPS reports and shredded NCAA brackets to head over for some prose that flows without the hangover and gravel mouth in the morning.
Truckin' - April 2008, Vol. 7, Issue 3
And we're back with the latest issue of Truckin'...!
1. Bong Hits with Rachael Ray by Paul McGuire My body sinks into the couch as soon as Rachael Ray comes on the screen. Rachael Ray's smile is intoxicating and any mentioning of EVOO sends orgasmic chills throughout my entire body. And when she grabs a fistful of meat, I wet myself.... More
2. Magpies Are Better Than That, All Wright? by Sigge S. Amdal Birthdays never set well with me. Today so many days ago I was shoved head first through the vagina of a woman I didn't even know at the time, radically interfering with her and her husband's sex lives, economical situation, causing nothing but general dismay for half a year before they finally got used to me... More
3. Skinny Dipping for Christ by Betty Underground At the other end of the pool a barefoot young woman, steps to the edge of the pool. Slender. Blonde with alabaster skin. Flawless. Angelic. She steps out of her skirt and pulls her t-shirt over her head. Standing naked, starring down into the pool, still lit from below... More
4. Axel by Kajagugu My plea trailed off at the end as he put the car in gear and we took off. He pulled a quick left hand u-turn out of the hotel taxi line across six lanes of traffic and barely missed a young lady on her bicycle... More
5. Happiest Place on Earth by Grand Master Pants Anyone can toss singles onto the stage, but she'd already mastered the art of tipping with style by stuffing dollar bills down her shirt, where the dancers had to be a little more, uh, creative in retrieving them... More
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Don't Be A Dick
If StB and The Rooster stop high-fiving each other for that Cowboys game last night (I admit it was one of the best finishes I've ever seen) maybe they'll be able to go to work today.
The thing about calling a time out right before the kicker hits a field goal, needs to go. I understand the whole "icing the kicker" ploy, but the gamesmanship of this move is on par with A-Rod shouting in that third baseman's ear to drop that fly ball or a stripper giving you a monetary amount in which she will go beyond the clothed bump and grind during a lap dance.
Dick Jauron, stop being an asshat and you're on notice for doing so.
For now, step into the altered world of Truckin' to begin your day if you haven't already.
http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com/
Truckin' - October 2007, Vol. 6, Issue 10
And we're back...
1 AlCantHang and I Walk Into a Bar... by Paul McGuire
Whenever you walk into a bar with AlCantHang, you're immediately assuming full responsibility for your actions. You always know what you are getting yourself into. There's no false pretense. You will drink and drink and drink and drink as life unfolds around you. You surrender to the flow of the liquor... More
2. Morrissey by Betty Underground
I did my usual, obvious, snooping about, inviting myself in to use the powder room after the long drive. I knew my way around. I knew what it looked like the last time I was there. I was looking for signs. Girl things. Grown up girl things. A woman's touch in the decor. Pictures of the happy couple. Anything. Nothing... More
3. Driving to See Mama by John "Falstaff" Hartness
Well, there was six of us in that car, and we'd been drinking and smoking cigarettes since we left base, so when Briggs rolled down that window, all that smoke just chimneyed up out of that window and that policeman had to jump back... More
4. A Mawmag's Dream by Sigge S. Amdal
I was flirting, no, I was dancing with my own future's certain death. And why? There was no love to speak of. Love can come later in some cases, I know, but if there's nothing, no great emotion to ride on – why on earth was I still dancing? ... More
5. What Might Have Been by Sean A. Donahue
The struggles of life are few and far between. We walk through life looking for the elusive, looking for the elite, or looking to be the elite. Sometimes in our search for what we want, we find what we really need. But we are too self absorbed or blind to see it... More
What a Long Strange Trip It's Been...
From the Editor's Laptop: Welcome to the October issue Truckin' which features a gem from Falstaff and includes returning authors Sigge S. Amdal and Sean A. Donahue. This issue contains another installment of Existentialist Conversations with Strippers in a piece titled AlCantHang and I walk Into a Bar.... And we also have a story from Betty Underground. She's making her first appearance in Truckin' with an impressive showing by hitting a home run on her first submission.
If you like these stories, then please tell your friends about your favorite stories. It takes a few seconds to pass along Truckin'. The writers certainly appreciate your support. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you know anyone who is interested in being added to the mailing list.Thanks to the writers who exposed their souls to the world, and did it for free. Thanks for inspiring me and taking that leap of faith with me.Thanks again to everyone for wasting your precious time month after month with Truckin'.
Until next time.
Salukis,
McG
Tao of Poker -- http://taopoker.blogspot.com/
Tao of Pauly -- http://mcgrupp.blogspot.com/
Truckin' -- http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com/
The thing about calling a time out right before the kicker hits a field goal, needs to go. I understand the whole "icing the kicker" ploy, but the gamesmanship of this move is on par with A-Rod shouting in that third baseman's ear to drop that fly ball or a stripper giving you a monetary amount in which she will go beyond the clothed bump and grind during a lap dance.
Dick Jauron, stop being an asshat and you're on notice for doing so.
For now, step into the altered world of Truckin' to begin your day if you haven't already.
http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com/
Truckin' - October 2007, Vol. 6, Issue 10
And we're back...
1 AlCantHang and I Walk Into a Bar... by Paul McGuire
Whenever you walk into a bar with AlCantHang, you're immediately assuming full responsibility for your actions. You always know what you are getting yourself into. There's no false pretense. You will drink and drink and drink and drink as life unfolds around you. You surrender to the flow of the liquor... More
2. Morrissey by Betty Underground
I did my usual, obvious, snooping about, inviting myself in to use the powder room after the long drive. I knew my way around. I knew what it looked like the last time I was there. I was looking for signs. Girl things. Grown up girl things. A woman's touch in the decor. Pictures of the happy couple. Anything. Nothing... More
3. Driving to See Mama by John "Falstaff" Hartness
Well, there was six of us in that car, and we'd been drinking and smoking cigarettes since we left base, so when Briggs rolled down that window, all that smoke just chimneyed up out of that window and that policeman had to jump back... More
4. A Mawmag's Dream by Sigge S. Amdal
I was flirting, no, I was dancing with my own future's certain death. And why? There was no love to speak of. Love can come later in some cases, I know, but if there's nothing, no great emotion to ride on – why on earth was I still dancing? ... More
5. What Might Have Been by Sean A. Donahue
The struggles of life are few and far between. We walk through life looking for the elusive, looking for the elite, or looking to be the elite. Sometimes in our search for what we want, we find what we really need. But we are too self absorbed or blind to see it... More
What a Long Strange Trip It's Been...
From the Editor's Laptop: Welcome to the October issue Truckin' which features a gem from Falstaff and includes returning authors Sigge S. Amdal and Sean A. Donahue. This issue contains another installment of Existentialist Conversations with Strippers in a piece titled AlCantHang and I walk Into a Bar.... And we also have a story from Betty Underground. She's making her first appearance in Truckin' with an impressive showing by hitting a home run on her first submission.
If you like these stories, then please tell your friends about your favorite stories. It takes a few seconds to pass along Truckin'. The writers certainly appreciate your support. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you know anyone who is interested in being added to the mailing list.Thanks to the writers who exposed their souls to the world, and did it for free. Thanks for inspiring me and taking that leap of faith with me.Thanks again to everyone for wasting your precious time month after month with Truckin'.
Until next time.
Salukis,
McG
Tao of Poker -- http://taopoker.blogspot.com/
Tao of Pauly -- http://mcgrupp.blogspot.com/
Truckin' -- http://mcgtruckin.blogspot.com/
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