Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Are Those Real?

Soon I will be visiting the land that silicone and professional athletes built with a few friends, and was hoping for a couple of tips for these establishments that offer free buffets and bOObies!

I’ve already asked the female friend type one of these questions, and thank her gracefully for her unabashed answers.

- I know tipping the dancers in these adult playgrounds will warrant a slap in the face from the good doctor, do you tip the bouncers/bartender?

- If you are choosing to spend two songs of private time with a young lady of questionable morals (not that mine will earn me sainthood), are there physical signs of a well trained dancologist I should look for?

- Since its been several years visiting such an establishment and knowing displays of female flesh beyond a bare shoulder will cause the need to make subtle adjustments during the above mentioned dance to avoid tent-like wardrobe embarrassments, will the future actress, lawyer, pet shop cashier be turned off enough to call over “Red” from the front door and stamp “pervert” on my forehead while tossing my 6’4” frame like a Olympic decathlete throwing a javelin into the streets?

- Are there any other precautions an amateur should take to avoid getting “taken” at these time honored establishments?

I humbly thank you for taking the time to prevent a night of fun from turning into explaining to my wife why I’m missing a few teeth with glitter on my Minnesota Twins boxers.

Thanks for dropping by, now did anyone play in the Bodog blogger tourney last night? I was at softball and wondered if people were able to play or transfer moneys into the site.

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